//------------------------------// // 5. No More Pinkie Pie // Story: The Pie and I // by Kaf_Kraked_Poni //------------------------------// “Hey, Shikamaru?” “What is it?” “Why do you do that?” My gaze shifted from outside of the moving train to the small pink pony who was studying me, or rather my hand, intently. I held Asuma’s lighter in the hand she was referring to, and I suppose she caught me opening and closing it. “It’s just a habit,” I responded. “And what’s that thing you put in your mouth, is it a lollipop?” I chuckled. “No, it’s not a sucker,” I said. “Lollipop,” she corrected. “There’s a difference ya know.” “Whatever,” I said. “It’s not a lollipop, it’s a cigarette. I’m pretty sure you have ponies who smoke here, don’t you?” “Smoking is bad, at least that’s what I was told.” She bounced away from me and back to her seat in the next aisle over. “Except Spike smokes a lot.” “He’s a dragon,” I replied. “Of course he smokes, but not like what I have here.” “Soooo, why do you put that thing in your mouth and then click that lighter up and down?” “It’s personal, I don’t really feel like explaining,” I answered and returned to the window. She sidled up next to me then and narrowed her eyes. “Ponies don’t do nothing for nothing,” she said slowly. “You mean they don’t do anything for nothing,” I corrected. “Yeah,” she agreed, rubbing her chin. “It’s like a security blanket, isn’t it?” “You… you could say that,” I stuttered. I was done being surprised by Pinkie Pie, hoping whatever she said and or did would just become acceptable in my mind. “I know,” she said again, backing off now. “My party cannon is like that.” “You have a cannon?” “I never leave without it!” “Where the heck would you even keep it? And I didn’t see you bring a cannon on board or while you were at the castle!” If enduring Pinkie Pie were missions, I’d have already been demoted to a Genin by now. “That’s not important,” she said, waving her hoof. “We’re talking about you.” “No, you’re talking about me,” I said with my arms crossed. “Potato, Poe-tah-toe,” she said, shrugging. “This is more than just a confusion of pronunciation!” “Shikamaru, you’re avoiding the question!” I groaned. Nothing would shut her up. Well, nothing except spilling my life story to her. “Fine, I guess we have enough time to kill,” I said, glancing at the train route above me. “It’s a bore of a story, so it would’ve been a pain to get in the middle of it and have to stop.” “I’ll listen reeeally fast,” she cried with a grin. I shook my head and leaned back in my seat. I removed the cigarette from my mouth and looked at the lighter, twirling it about my fingers. “This,” I began, “this is a memento from my former master.” “Oooh,” she said, nodding slowly. “So this master guy was your teacher?” “Yes, but he was more than just that,” I said, gripping the small metal tighter. “He was my friend.” “Your… friend…” she repeated. “Remember when you said you’d put your life down for me,” I asked her. She nodded. “Well, my master did just that. He paid with his life so that me and my teammates could live.” Silence. Achievement unlocked, I would think. However, the expression over Pinkie’s face turned from intrigued to just plain curious now. “How did you feel?” she asked after a long while of being silent. “I don’t know, sad I guess. Angry,” I replied. “I think I still feel a little something even now.” “Is that why it’s so hard for us to be friends?” I didn’t answer her. I didn’t even feel like I should. “When you say such a thing like ‘I’ll die for you,’ or, ‘I’ll protect you with my life,’ it doesn’t really hit you until that crucial moment that it happens,” I explained. “In my entire career as a ninja, I’d seen many deaths. I’ve killed a lot of people.” She flinched after I said that. “However,” I continued, “there’s nothing more tragic than losing someone you care for.” “You care about me?” “Well… I mean, not like that,” I said. “The thing is, you seem like a good pony, and if you continue to follow me like this, there’s a chance you’ll get very close to death. I don’t understand why you can’t see it Pinkie, but the world of the ninja is not one for an eccentric party-going baker.” “Says who?” She placed her forehooves on her hips and pouted. “Are you even listening?!” I growled. “I can’t risk people getting hurt on my account. It’s happened more than I would’ve liked and it’s one thing to lose a comrade, but it’s another to lose a friend!” “Well, that kind of stuff doesn’t happen here!” she argued back. I held my tongue. She was right. The entire time I’d been here, I noticed the peacefulness of the land. In fact, it was so saturated in the air that I could actually sense Jujo’s malignant chakra when he was close. There was no reasoning with her, or any of the other inhabitants of this place when it came to these matters. It was almost foreign to them. “Why do they call it Ghastly Gorge?” I asked, changing the subject. “Oh, there’s a lot of creepy and dangerous stuff that goes on around there,” she answered. “Rainbow Dash flies through it all the time, even when we tell her not to.” “I believe it,” I said, looking out the window again. “I’m going to take a nap.” “What? Why?” “Because I haven’t had the ability to since I was abruptly awakened in the middle of the night and forced to delegate with two ruling bodies for the remainder of it.” “Okay, okay Mr. Grumpy!”  She trotted away, sliding onto the seat of the next row over. “Do ya need the whole row?” “Yes,” I responded with a yawn. “Wake me when we get there…” *** “Echooooooooooo!” “Are you done yet?” I asked to the giggling pony next to me. “Not quite, I have a few more seconds until the next echo reverbs around the canyon,” she answered. I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. Leaving Pinkie to herself, I began walking along the edge of the gorge, peering down into the abyss below. Nothing out of the ordinary here, so why would Jujo come to a place like this? “Unless he plans on using rocks in his masterplan, I doubt there’s any reason for him to be here outside of exploration,” I murmured. “So he decided to take a field trip around Equestria?” Pinkie asked, popping out of a hole in the ground. “That’s what it seems like.” I continued onward, hoping to find something not pink out of place. “So once you get this guy, what do you plan on doing next?” “I’m not sure, try to find a way home, I guess. I’ll have Jujo perform the dimensional jutsu again and use that if I have to,” I replied. “Aww, you wouldn’t wanna stay for even a little while?” “Are we back on this again?” “Yes!” was the reply I got. Note to self, don’t ask Pinkie rhetorical questions again. “I told you that-” my sentence stopped short as I caught wind of a malignant air. “Why’d you pull out your knife thing?” Pinkie asked, looking around. “Shut up and get close to me,” I hissed. “At least buy me dinner first!” she whispered, backing up to my behind. My eyes moved about, searching the rocky hills for the force behind my caution. So far, nothing seemed wrong, but I couldn’t risk it. Not with a civilian, and not with an enemy like Jujo. “Damn it, where is he?” I sighed. “What’s da-” Pinkie was now interrupted as a wall of dirt erupted from between us, knocking me onto my face. “Pinkie, are you okay?!” I shouted, rolling back up and taking a defensive stance. “I’m okay,” I heard from the other side of the wall. She poked her head around the dirt column and waved at me. “My tail is unusually shock absorbent, so I can take a lot from the rear if I need to.” Her smile reassured my suspicions about her well being. “I don’t mean to take that out of context, but boy that sounded dirty,” Jujo said from behind me. I whipped my arm around, just barely missing the rogue ninja’s face. Quickly I managed a hand seal, but he dodged my shadow and shot out several large fireballs at me. “Move!” I shouted, performing an earth shield of my own. “That was too close,” I huffed. The completed jutsu couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. I saw a pink ball of fluff sitting next to me with an unsure grin on her face. “I’d like to help, but I can’t shoot fireballs, and while I did work on a rock farm, there’s no way I can do what you two are doing,” she said with a blush. “Then stay out of the way, and maybe you’ll see why I told you not to follow me,” I replied. “Hiding won’t get you anywhere, Shikamaru!” Jujo shouted, leaping over the wall I had created. “Damn it!” I shot several shuriken at the body, but the tools found their way inside of a large stone rather than Jujo. “Substitution, what an amateur move on my part!” “He turned to a rock!” Pinkie exclaimed. “No, he’s somewhere else. He switched places with a rock,” I explained, urging her to follow me. “How’d that happen?” “This is not the time for an expositional instruction on ninjutsu!” I couldn’t do anything here, not out in the open like this. Jujo had caught me out of my element once again. “You need to get down the gorge,” I said. “Say no more, I don’t want to be yelled at again,” Pinkie said, barreling for the fissure in the earth. “Wait, I meant on my signal you dolt!” “Picking your grave?” Jujo shouted, socking me in the jaw. He followed up with a few more punches and a finishing roundhouse kick. I propelled backwards, skidding along the ground just before I met with the edge of the gorge. “Are you him… or a clone?” I asked, rising slowly. “Considering you’re almost dead, I think I can tell you,” Jujo chuckled. “He said you’d come. Something like, ‘Konoha shinobi are too predictable,’ or some jazz like that.” “So you are just a copy,” I coughed. “Just a copy? Ha! I’m more than a copy, I’m my own person, just in another person’s image.” Where the hell was Pinkie? I didn’t want her to get in trouble, but now she’s gone and vanished entirely. Why couldn’t she do that earlier? “Then it’s not like a regular jutsu, where the technique will cease if the caster if killed,” I said, standing on my feet now. “Don’t try anything, I can move to you faster than you think. Your shadows are too slow,” he threatened, pulling out a kunai. “So what was your plan? Get me to come here while your master messes around Equestria for a bit?   “This place, is my home. I was born here,” he replied. “So no, he isn’t my master, and he isn’t just messing around. But you are right about the first part.” “You’re just a distraction,” I finished. “There are literally hundreds of us in this world, just waiting to get our own share of the multiverse,” Jujo laughed. “Multiverse? Sounds like something out of a story book,” I said. “Not anymore,” he replied, stepping closer. “I take it you won’t tell me?” “Damn straight, I ain’t a squealer!” he cried, rushing at me. “No, but you are predictable.” I performed a hand seal, causing Jujo to dodged a nonexistent attack. “What the hell?” he shouted at my sly grin. “Hanging with you has been a blast,” I said. The explosive tag on the back of his calf ignited and the Jujo clone lit up brighter than the sun. “Now, where did that little pink menace disappear to?” “Here I am!” she exclaimed, popping out of a hole in the ground. “So, you know you could’ve potentially been injured in that little exchange we had?” I was scolding her like a child, but she shrugged it off. “I’ve been in extreme peril before, it’s nothing new.” “Yeah, well not like this. Jujo’s much more dangerous than blob things or pastel colored wolves,” I said, crossing my arms. “Aaaaaaand back into hiding, right?” she asked, ducking below into the hole she had just created. I spun around, just in time to catch Jujo tackling into me. Too bad I couldn’t react. We both plummeted down the gorge. “The least I can do for Jujo is take you out with me!” he said, tightening his hold. Damn, if I don’t act fast…! I formed a hand seal, coating my palm in a generous amount of chakra and reached out to the side. The floor was coming up fast, and I only had enough chakra to do this once. My hand latched onto a long enough extension of rock, halting our fall, but causing Jujo’s clone to instead lose his grip on my waist and grab my ankle.   “What now?” he chuckled from below. I saw him draw a kunai and place it in his mouth. My attempts to shake him off were thwarted and he jabbed the knife into my thigh. I released my grip on the rock, screaming as we both fell. “I can’t die like this!” I shouted, looking below. The ground was only meters away now. Jujo’s face sneered up at me and he saluted, laughing wildly all the while. Suddenly, I felt a force collide with me from the side. The impact was rough, but afterwards, I felt a soft cushion against my face. “What the?” “I knew the party mattress would come out if I shot it enough times!” Pinkie Pie shouted from a nearby cliff side. It felt more like an oversized marshmallow than a mattress, but I didn’t feel like questioning logic at the moment. I repositioned myself to lay on top of the bed just as I hit the ground. The mattress touched the floor, but immediately took to the air again. It repeated the bouncing process until it came to a roll, upon which I let go of it and rolled on the ground as well. “Party mattress… one hell of a party,” I moaned. My vision lifted skywards where I could see Pinkie bounding down the cliff side, no doubt to come and check on me. I turned my head, seeking out the other body, but did not find so much as a torn piece of fabric. “Did Jujo fall somewhere else?” “That was a nice ride, huh?” Pinkie asked, giggling to the side. “Nice is relative,” I began, “but nonetheless, you saved me, so yes, it was a nice ride.” “Oooh, an actual compliment? I knew we would be friends sooner than never!” she bounced about happily and blew a noise maker in my ear. “Not right now!” I shouted, but too late. Pinkie gasped, scaring me half to death then. I turned around, expecting something to come flying at us, but instead, I saw her run to my side. “What happened to your leg?” She observed the blood and looked up at me with disconcertion in her eyes. “It’s nothing, I can fix it,” I said, pulling some bandage cloth from my pouch. I dressed the wound, trying to keep Pinkie out of my supplies as I did so. “Here, let me help,” she said, taking the bandage from my hands. “What?” “Trust me, I know how to tie a knot,” she said, fumbling around with the bandage around my thigh. One final tug, and I examined the work of the pony over my wound. “It’s actually… not bad,” I said, rising to my feet. Pain shot through my body, but I ignored it for the moment. “I told you I can help,” she said with a grin. “Well, it’s a wound, not a gift, so the bow-like knot wasn’t necessary,” I replied. “Now, I’m wondering about Jujo. Where did his body go?” “Maybe the Quarry eels got him. They like to live in large crevices and take a snap at whatever flies by,” she informed me. “I’ll keep that in mind as we climb up,” I said, brushing myself off. My head lifted up again, and my spirits fell further down than we currently were. It was at least 1000 meters, easy. It was amazing I survived the fall. “So what’s the plan, partner?” I looked at the small pony and shook my head. “The plan is to get out of here and figure out where the real Jujo is. Probably back in the Everfree Forest, where he first disappeared,” I said. “If that’s the case, then we need to get back up there.” I followed her hoof back to the top of the gorge. My face made another sour expression. “Why do you torture me so? I know that, Pinkie.” “Don’t worry, I’ll have us up in a jiffy!” “How do you plan on doing that?” “With this!” she pulled out a vial of liquid and unscrewed the top. I wasn’t even going to ask where she had been hiding it. Most likely her mane. “Why not just tell me so we can skip the script?” “It’s a potion that I swiped from Twilight before we came to Canterlot. It’s supposed to be a teleportation spell thingy for non magical ponies,” she explained then. “It doesn’t sound like Twilight to just leave something that important lying around. And neither does it sound safe to use, especially when you use the words, ‘supposed to’,” I grimaced. “Oh believe me, I had a tough time finding it!” She drank the liquid before I could even advise her against it and smacked her lips together, shifting her eyes back and forth. “You don’t even know-” I started, but was tackled again, this time by Pinkie. She lay on top of me and smothered my face in hers. “Here we go!” was all I heard. The last thing I saw was her eyes going all white and then suddenly it felt as if my skin was being peeled off and tossed about. Another second later, I found myself standing back where we had started, Pinkie clutching my face still, both of us a little burnt up. “I’m guessing it was still in the experimental stages,” I coughed. “Hey look, we’re back!” she released me and stretched her limbs out. I removed some sweet tasting hair from my mouth, and tried to wipe the icing odor off of my face. “Shikamaru, I think I found your friend,” I heard then. “Are you kidding me?!” I brought my hands down and saw another Jujo standing before us. His arms were crossed and he smirked, chuckling a little before making his way towards us. “Pinkie, you need to hide again. Or get your cannon thing and shoot something at him,” I said. “We kind of left it downstairs in the gorge,” she mumbled, backing up to me. Darn, I don’t have enough chakra to deal with another one of these guys… “Bravo, but no matter how many of us you defeat, there will always be more,” he said. “This has turned into quite the predicament. I imagine it must be hard for you to accept that you’ll be stuck here forever while we take over all of existence.” “Again with the ambiguity,” I muttered. “It’s not as difficult to grasp as you think, Shikamaru. We’re all Jujo, and so, we can all perform his Jutsu,” the clone said making several hand seals. I braced myself for an attack, but the man chuckled and held his right arm out after performing the seals. “Wait a minute,” I said. It was all starting to come together now. “You see, everyone of us can perform the dimensional jutsu. Imagine, a whole plane of existence, ruled by the likes of me!” “You’re crazy,” I shouted. “Only one of kekkei genkai is capable of possessing such techniques!” “Ha, I will prove that wrong!” “No, you’ll upset the balance of everything and who knows what will happen then?!” My body ached. I wasn’t going to stand a chance if he came at me. “I’m willing to find out, and I know a particular shinobi back home who would pay dearly for this. Well, at least, the real Jujo does anyway,” he said. “What?” “There’s a bigger picture to all of this aside from your trivial matters, Shikamaru. The world of ninja will be no more, unless we follow him.” “Follow Jujo?” “Jujo… we are just a tool. Soon, you will see. Jujo has already enlightened each of us. He was met with a most interesting individual, though I can’t seem to remember the name,” the clone said. “From the beginning… from the very beginning this was just part of someone’s plan? Another ninja from our world?” “Your world,” the clone corrected. “Technically, I was born here. That reminds me…” I could not move fast enough. The Jujo clone was on top of me in a second. aking advantage of  my leg wound also, he quickly shoved me aside and jammed a finger into Pinkie’s neck. She collapsed instantly. “Pinkie Pie!” I shouted, trying to get up. Jujo’s clone lifted her up and slung the pony over his shoulder. “Dunno why, but he said to bring this. Oh, Jujo did, not that other ninja.” “Put her down, what the hell does Jujo want with her?!” “Probably to use her as a bargaining chip, or maybe lure you into another trap, who knows? All I know is, you’re officially screwed.” “Damn it Pinkie Pie, this is why I told you to stay!” I tried to launch a Shadow Possession, but it fell short after he leapt away. The clone swung his arm in the air, ripping a portal in the space behind his body. “We’ve all managed to control the jutsu, so your kekkei genkai whatever theory is disproved,” the clone taunted. He stepped through, and waved. “Oh yeah, Jujo told me to tell you something else.” “Damn it, I can’t do anything,” I huffed. “He says, ‘Once again, you’ve let someone down, and you’ve let another life go.’” With that, the clone vanished and the portal closed. No… no… no… no…. the word kept playing over and over in my mind.   That idiot got herself captured, and now Jujo is plotting to take control of multiple universes? I should alert the princesses, but the last thing I want is to tell them is that one of their subjects got captured on my behalf… What a drag this has turned into, I thought. “Finally!”  I heard a voice say from afar. I looked up, broken from my thoughts now and saw another figure galloping towards me. “Great,” I sighed. “Shikamaru!” Twilight shouted. “Shikamaru! Is Pinkie with you!?” What was I going to say? What could I say? “Uhh, about that…” That was probably all I could muster up at the moment. “Where’s Pinkie Pie… you look like you got into a fight,” she said when she finally reached me. “I did,” I replied. “And Pinkie is…?” “Not here,” I answered. “Why?” “Because she wasn’t where she was supposed to be, which is at home with you in Ponyville,” I shouted. “Shikamaru, what happened to Pinkie Pie? Where is my friend?!” Twilight furrowed her brow now. I didn’t think she could get angry. I didn’t think anypony aside from Rainbow Dash could. Oh damn it, Rainbow Dash, if she caught wind of this… “Pinkie is probably being held hostage somewhere in the Everfree forest,” I relayed quickly. “What?! Probably? Held hostage?!” “It’s not my fault she decided to follow me,” I interrupted. “I told her to stay.” “You didn’t protect her?” “I did all that I could! You don’t think my plate is a little stacked at the moment? I’m trying to track down a prisoner in a foreign land with a bunch of annoying horses bearing down on me every freakin’ second,” I exploded. I stood there, huffing and puffing, looking at the pony with harsh eyes. She stared back, but with a harsher glare. “Even so,” she began, “Even so, you had a body to protect, whether by choice or not, and you let her get captured?!” “Welcome to the world of the ninja,” I replied. “You can’t not guarantee a loss.” “No, you’re not in Konaka or whatever, okay? You’re in Equestria, and even so, aren’t ninjas supposed to look after their comrades? I specifically remember Pinkie telling me something like that, something that you told her.” “When did she-?” “That’s not important now, is it? One of my best friends is now in danger, and granted it’s Pinkie Pie, I’m still upset beyond measure,” she told me with tears in her eyes. “It wasn’t like I was just going to leave her,” I said. “I’ll get her back, and complete my mission.” “You need to weigh what’s at stake here, Shikamaru,” Twilight said. “I understand your quest is important, but now Equestria could be in danger and you have to understand that your laws don’t apply here.” “Jujo would think otherwise.” “But you’re not Jujo,” she replied. “No, I guess I’m not,” I said.