Luna had to get out of that farm; the risk that Celestia might have been planning something was too great! Why, her big sister might have wanted to poison her with this apple fritter! The alicorn frowned as she realized she had eaten half of it before she thought of that. If it was poison, it was very slow acting, delicious poison. She pondered her next course of action; her soldiers refused to work with her, so she must find a way to defeat her sister without them.
“Wait, let me get a picture with the princess!” A random pony shouted as she ran towards Luna. Luna smiled for the camera. In retrospect, sitting on a bench in the middle of a populated town while eating a possibly poisoned apple fritter is probably not the most conspicuous of actions.
“Darling, I was wondering where you were!” a certain fashionista had appeared behind the princess of the night.
“Oh, it’s you. Come to assassinate me? Not a good idea to do it broad daylight.”
“Oh, no! Perish the thought, my princess! I’m merely here to help you usurp the Sun Tyrant and fulfill your destiny as the sole ruler of the WORLD! MWAHAHAHA!” Rarity yelled, lighting striking the ground behind her
“Actually I just want to control Equestria, but now that you mention it... taking over the world does sound like a good idea!” Luna grinned.
“Ah, yes, but first: you must drink from the Chalice of Power!” Rarity pulled a chalice that appeared to come from nowhere,” It may give enough strength to defeat your sister with little effort.”
“Why would I need such a thing?”
“To embarrass her of course!”
“What a brilliant idea! Embarrassment! It’s so... useful!” Luna grabbed the chalice,”Why does it smell and look like coffee?”
“Because... er... it just happens to have the properties of coffee?” the fashionista shrugged.
“Oh okay!” Luna chugged the drink. Then her head went up and down, back and forth, and she made a sound much like that of a hippo hitting it’s head with a bell while a mutant combination of a dog and a kangaroo is barking loudly at a koala, shortly before the princess fell down. Just when Rarity sighed and began to walk away, Luna sprang up and grabbed her by the shoulders,”FORCE FEED ME COFFEE AGAIN AND I WILL SUBJECT YOU TO HORRORS SO BAD THAT EVEN DISCORD WOULD CRINGE AT THEM!” she said, her mane filled with electricity and her eyes a glowing white. then she popped back to normal,”Wait, why did you force feed me coffee?”
A white blur tackled the moon princess,”Lulu! You’re normal again!”
Luna gasped,”Sister, I’m being crushed.” She got up when Celestia let go,”What do you mean ‘normal again?’”
Celestia frowned,”Something made smell hate incense and caused us to fight each other.”
“Hate incense! The bane of ponies everywhere!” Luna growled,”But who would do such a thing?”
“How about somepony with a grudge!?” Shouted a voice. The group of ponies turned towards the sound to see Clean Wipe, dressed in a shiny shirt and wearing a massive afro. She wore a disco ball necklace around her neck. At seeing this, Rarity’s mouth foamed and she fainted.
Beside her, was Pinkie waving,”Hi everypony! Look who I just met!” She bounced over to her friends.
“Oh, my Mother, I never thought that the 970’s would come back in equine form to haunt me!” Celestia shouted, her hooves holding her head.
“Um, no I’m your janitor, remember?” Clean Wipe asked with a sad tone of voice.
“... Oh, well I have a lot of janitors so I can’t be expected to remember everyone of them, I apologize.” Celestia looked closely at her, trying to figure out who she was.
Clean Wipe growled,”My name doesn’t matter, for now I shall take over the kingdom with the Amulet of All That is Disco! Mwahahaha!”
“Amulet of All That is Disco? Sister, what is she talking about?” Luna asked.
Celestia just sighed,”Remember how I said that the 970’s was a weird decade? Yeah, I had an amulet made to give me super disco powers, which basically meant I could out-dance anything.”
Twilight blinked,”Wait, how do you expect to take over Equestria with disco?”
Clean Wipe blinked,”Uh... I haven’t gotten that far yet.”
Twilight looked at her,”Wait, does that also mean you haven’t the faintest idea of what you are going to do when you do eventually win?” She watched Clean slowly nod her head,” Right, do you know what’s going to happen when you take over?”
“Uh, I take revenge on those who insult the janitorial service?” Clean Wipe cocked her head causing the afro to bounce.
Twilight sighed,”Right. Look I did the research when I thought of taking over in my rebellious teen years and I found out the problems with usurping the throne: you’d have to worry about the rebellions, the crime, the taxes, making laws, sending ambassadors to various countries to negotiate trade, and so much more! Are you prepared for all that?”
“No.” Clean Wipe sat down,”I just wanted to... be in a ruling position.”
Celestia walked over to her and took the amulet off,” Look, why don’t you come with me and we’ll talk about getting you promoted to Head Janitor, okay?”
Clean Wipe looked up into the sun princess’ eyes, and wiped away a tear,”You really mean it?” She saw Celestia give a nod,”Thank you.”
“But, don’t try to create hate incense ever again, okay?” Celestia asked.
“Yeah, I won’t mix those detergents ever again.”
“”Now come, the guards at Canterlot must be worried.” Celestia took Clean Wipe in hoof and teleported, while Luna did the same.
At that moment, Shining Armor ran into town,”Princesses!” He looked around.
Twilight shook her head as she went back to the library,”Sorry Big Brother, they already left,” She sighed as she said to herself,”Today’s been way too exhausting.”
When Celestia and Luna and their got back, they found the throne room in a burning heap. They saw the city in flames and right in front of them, was a ragged Princess Cadance.
“Uh, I can explain this?” Cadance said, with nervous chuckle.