Pinkie was led by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon through Pleasure Island. There was so much to do and see! There was food to eat, fights to be had, smokes to smoke, everything a naughty child could only wish to do was there!
“Wow,” Pinkie said, eyes wide as she took everything in, “we really have our week cut out for us.”
“Week?” scoffed Silver Spoon. “Who said anything about us ever leaving? Puppet, we’re home!”
“B-But my home is with Spike and Granny Smith and Opal!” cried Pinkie. “Granny Smith will get so worried if I don’t come home!”
“Says who?” Diamond Tiara said carelessly.
“Says Spike, my conscience.”
“Who, the dragon?” Diamond Tiara sneered back. “Puppet, he’s a total party poop. The whole ride over here he was complaining and whining about how nervous he was and about going home and all that jazz. Would a real friend try to ruin your fun like that?”
Pinkie thought for a second. “Gee, I never thought about that…”
(To the tune of “I Want the Good Times Back” from The Little Mermaid)
DIAMOND TIARA: I’m not gonna lie, I am very privileged
My family’s rich, the filthy, stinking truth
But still I want much more
I deserve it all, I’m sure
There’s more life to live out there
And this is proof
SILVER SPOON: Just look at what our parents kept a secret
This Pleasure Isle we’ve never known before
Why didn’t they tell us about it?
They want it, you see
To keep it for themselves
That doesn’t sit right, no siree
But good old Mrs. Cake
Let in all us young ponies
For she’s a true, true friend
DIAMOND TIARA AND SILVER SPOON: Yes, she’s a real, fine, amazing friend
DIAMOND TIARA: So learn to live a bit
No, learn to live a lot
For life will pass you by
So quick and I
Want to get all it’s got
And this here playground sure does offer
All the finest things to do
From the sweets here to the treats there
And that big trampoline, too
SILVER SPOON: There is no school or work
There’s just a joyous spree
No adults to respect
There’s things to wreck
There’s endless glee
If there is one thing that we’ve learned
It’s that you’ve only got one shot
So better start living
And live a lot
Spike rushed over to Pinkie as Silver Spoon finished her verse. “There you are!” he gasped for breath. “Some conscience I am, always letting you run off! Look, we need to find our way out of here. This whole place is giving me the heebie-jeebies.”
“No!” said Pinkie.
“No?” repeated Spike. “What do you mean, no? You’re supposed to listen to me! You have to listen to me!”
“I’m tired of being bossed around!” replied Pinkie crossly. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are my new friends. They know what’s really best for me! Fun!”
“Yeah,” agreed Silver Spoon, “we’re the best friends that Puppet here could ever need!”
“So buzz off, you little pest!” added Diamond Tiara. The three turned away and walked off.
“Oh, come on!” Spike shouted after them. “They don’t even know your name!”
But the trio ignored him. They were too busy looking for fun things to do.
PINKIE: I’m gonna live a lot
I’ll try some brand-new stuff
This puppet’s gonna be
A real pony
And soon enough
Now that I don’t have Spike holding me
Back from my true destiny
I can find out just for myself
Who I’m really meant to be
The Fairy’s gonna look
And she will be so proud
Now that I’m finally blending in
And going with the crowd
Because if they do it, l’ll do it, too
I’ll do it on the dot
I’m gonna start living
DIMAOND TIARA: She’s gonna start living
SILVER SPOON: She’s gonna start living
ALL THREE: And live a lot!
As the kids cavorted, they didn’t notice the strange, gray ponies and Mrs. Cake watching them from the shadows. She smiled a wicked smile and turned to one of the gray pony guards.
MRS. CAKE: Just look at them playing like
Bad little tykes
The brats that they all are
GUARD: Will they…?
MRS. CAKE: Yes
GUARD: Soon now…?
MRS. CAKE: Yes
They won’t go very far
“Shall we close the gates?” the guard asked.
Mrs. Cake watched the children play, then turned back to the guard. “Oh, yes. They’re coming along fine, but we don’t want anypony to get homesick and try to leave. This should do nicely.”
MRS. CAKE: So get the chains and locks
And triple-bolt the gate
Because my favorite part
Is gonna start
And I can’t wait
These little foals and little fillies
Are as dumb as rocks sometimes
And since their parents have failed
They must atone for their crimes
They want to live a lot
Well, I gave them their wish
But in the end I win
And I reel in
All these little fish
Get all the cages ready
These kids will soon be in such a spot
Good thing I’ve been giving
A chance to be living
They’ve had their fun living
They’ve lived a lot!
Spike was trying to find his way back to the gates that led out of Pleasure Island, but he must have taken a wrong turn, because he found himself wandering what felt like hours. Time seemed to move differently on the island. All the ponies whizzing here and there at high speeds, yet Spike didn’t seem to be moving any faster.
Eventually, he found the gates, but it was too late—they were already closed!
“That’s…a bad sign,” he whispered to himself.
He ducked behind a pile of rubble (something the kids had destroyed in fun, no doubt) as two of the gray guardlike ponies walked by.
“She says it’s time,” one informed the other. With that, they both changed into hideous, black, fanged creatures with glowing blue eyes! They looked like a strange parody of a pony. Most nauseating of all, their legs were full of holes! If Spike had eaten any of the candy that the island was offering, he probably would have lost in at that point.
All at once, a stampede began! Well, it felt like a stampede, at least. A herd of large, hunchbacked bulldog things were dragged towards the gates. The dogs were big, but the fanged creatures had magical whips and maces to keep them in check.
The gates were pulled open by a pair of the fanged pony creatures. Spike was almost happy to see the gates opening, but there were more of those awful creatures waiting outside, so escaping would be difficult.
“Please,” sniveled one of the dogs, “let us go!”
Despite the dog’s large size, it had the voice of a child.
Mrs. Cake approached them. Spike was frightened, but curious. He wisely stayed out of sight, for in an instant, she transformed into an even larger version of the monster ponies!
“You may call me Queen Chrysalis, master of shape-shifters,” she informed the dogs. “My Changeling Ponies and I have taken the liberty of transforming you little angels into Diamond Dogs. Feel free to work forever in my mines. As if you have a choice.”
The Diamond Dogs began to sob and howl in despair.
(To the tune of “I Want the Good Times Back Reprise” from The Little Mermaid)
CHRYSALIS: Why, you ungrateful runts
I’ve given you such bliss
All that junk food you’ve binged
Your lives have hinged
On fun like this
I let you express all your desires
Your primal needs, your ids
Now I ask for something in return
From all you rotten kids
And did you really think
There was no catch
Don’t be surprised and cry
Because, tee hee
When you’re like me
It’s so much fun to lie
So one more number here
Before we you’re all enslaved
Once you’re a Diamond Dog
Lost in life’s fog
You can’t be saved
If it’s a consolation for you kids
You’ve been tricked by a pro
For I am the greatest
The singular greatest
So true
I’m the best master
Villain I know!
That was all Spike needed to see! In fact, it was probably a little more than he needed to see, although the musical number was rather entertaining in a sadistic sort of way. One thing was for sure—he needed to find Pinkie Pie-nocchio and get out!
Pinkie Pie-nocchio, a few minutes earlier, had been with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in the pool hall when the transformation began. Silver Spoon was the first to go almost instantly, followed by Diamond Tiara. The two screamed and scrambled off to find help, leaving Pinkie alone.
“That was weird,” Pinkie mused, before noticing her tail was, longer and hairier than it had been before. And were her ears always gray?
“Pinkie!” came a familiar voice.
“Spike!”
The two friends embraced for a second, before panicking.
“What’s happening?!” sobbed Pinkie in fear.
Spike panted and looked around. No Changelings were back at this corner…yet. “I’ll tell you later, once we’re out of here.”
Pinkie nodded, and the two started running. They were soon spotted, and found themselves being chased by Changeling after Changeling. It looked hopeless for a moment, before Spike pointed at a rocky ledge that overlooked the ocean.
“I can’t swim!” gulped Pinkie.
“Wood floats!” cried Spike, before shoving her over the edge and diving in after her.
As they swam for their lives (with Spike doing the kicking and Pinkie doing the stroking), Spike took a look back at the island. It was hard to make out much of it in the darkness, but he could still hear the howls of the Diamond Dogs and see the Changelings’ glowing eyes…