“What the hell!” Silver shouted as he stared into the vast unknown that was Equestria. He looked up to the sky, “Come on, God, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but this is cruel and unusual punishment. Couldn’t you just let the angel coin pick Angel? He would have loved this place and I’m talking to myself, aren’t I?”
Silver sighed, “Alright Silver, calm down.” He groaned. “And I’m using Angel’s damn pony name for me. I’m literally going insane. Calm down, Silver, just breathe, and the answer will come.”
He took a deep breath and felt strangely calmer.
“Good, good. Now, look at your surroundings to see what to do next.”
He turned around and came face-to-face with three fillies. One was yellow with a red bow, the other was orange with wings, and the last one was white with a horn. The human and the ponies stared at each other, neither one of them dared to breathe. The one with the bow gulped and took a step forward. It held out a hoof,
“Um, hiya.” The pony said awkwardly, “I’m Applebloom. These are my friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. We mean you no harm.”
Silver stared at the ponies for a moment longer before a squeaking noise escaped his mouth and he fell face first, unconscious.
________________________________________
The three fillies stared at the strange, unmoving animal for a couple of seconds before Scootaloo spoke up,
“You killed it.” She said blatantly.
“I didn’t do anything!” Applebloom said nervously.
Sweetie Belle walked toward the creature and observed it curiously. She wondered how her sister would react to the strange clothing the creature had on. She then kicked it in the stomach, and there was a groan in response. The three fillies smiled, “It’s alive!”
“What do you think it is?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I think it’s a monkey.” Applebloom said.
“But it doesn’t have a tail.” Scootaloo interjected, “And it’s wearing clothes.”
“Maybe it’s a special type of monkey?”
“Or,” Scootaloo suddenly sounded excited, “maybe we just discovered a new type of animal!”
All three fillies instinctively looked at their flanks, but it still remained blank.
“It looks like we didn’t discover anything new.” Sweetie Belle said glumly.
“Why don’t we bring this thing to Fluttershy to see what this thing is.” Applebloom said hopefully, “We could get our Cutie Marks in animal study.”
“Alright then, crusaders,” Scootaloo said, “let’s get this thing to Fluttershy pronto!”
The three fillies grabbed a piece of the fabric from the creature and started to pull with all of their might. After about a minute of fruitless pulling, they let go.
“What now?” Sweetie Belle panted.
Applebloom spoke up, “New plan: We get our wagon, bring it here, put the creature into the wagon, and then bring it to Fluttershy. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” the two other fillies said. With a nod of determination, the three friends rocketed toward their first destination.
________________________________________
The three fillies were out of sight, leaving behind the human. A moment passed and Silver was back on his feet,
“Plan ‘Pretend to be Asleep to Fool Others’ never fails.” Silver said confidently. He sighed, “Now what?” He looked at the direction the fillies went, “I guess I’ll have to find civilization.”
Silver grimaced; Angel had shown him a season of My Little Pony episodes before he accepted that Silver wouldn’t be enthusiastic about ponies. With a season’s worth of knowledge, Silver knew the food the ponies had: flowers, vegetables, fruits, and enough sugar to make everyone in Minnesota diabetic.
“I’m gonna die.” He said emotionlessly, “No human could ever survive with only pony food.” Silver looked at the angel coin, “I guess I could wish for some food. Some meat, some grain…”
…
He slapped himself for his stupidity, “or I could just wish to go back home.” He smiled, but then he remembered what Angel said: One wish per generation. Silver shrugged it off, “But I’m not part of his family.” He reasoned, “So that means I still have a wish. Plus, maybe this place,” he gestured to Equestria, “has different rules for the coin.”
Silver flipped the coin, “I wish to go back home. Left!”
The coin reached its highest point and landed on the ground, revealing the angel lifting his right arm.
“Okay, no problem.” Silver said as he picked up the coin. There was a tone of worry in his voice, “Let’s try this again; I wish to go back to Earth. Right!”
The coin fell again and showed left.
“I wish to not die in this place! Left!” Silver said desperately. The coin soared into the air, when suddenly an owl swooped past, took the angel coin in the air, and flew away.
…
Silver pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned deeply, “An owl took the angel coin.” He saw the owl fly in the general direction the ponies went, “An owl took the angel coin.” He repeated. He saw the owl slowly become a dot.
Silver then bared his teeth, “My dinner just took the angel coin!” he yelled before sprinting after the flying bird/meal.
________________________________________
Scootaloo was rocketing through Sweet Apple Acres on her scooter with Sweetie Belle and Applebloom riding behind her on a red wagon. They had just collected their things from their clubhouse.
“Can’t you go any faster, Scoots?” Applebloom said, “We still need to get back to it.”
“Then you better hold on to your lunch.” Scootaloo replied with a grin. She flapped her wings vigorously and torpedoed past the surrounding apple trees. They were making great time when Fluttershy suddenly appeared in their paths.
“Look out!” Scootaloo shouted as she immediately flapped her wings in the opposite direction to stop. Fluttershy saw the oncoming ponies and gasped in fright. She stayed put as she nervously tried to decide whether to jump left, right, or fly up. In the end, Fluttershy just closed her eyes and braced for impact, but Scootaloo managed to stop the scooter and wagon inches before it slammed into the yellow pegasus.
“Fluttershy, what are you doing here?” Applebloom asked.
Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes and saw that she wasn’t trampled. Sighing in relief, she answered, “I was making sure the Vampire Fruit Bats were adjusting to their new environment. I’m happy to say that they are.” She said with a smile as she gestured to the acre that had been closed off for the apple-sucking bats. She turned back to the girls, “What has you girls in such a hurry?”
“We were actually looking for you.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo added, “we found this strange animal and we wanted you to tell us about it.”
“I’d be happy to.” Fluttershy said gently, “Where is this little one?”
“This thing we found is anything but little.” Applebloom said excitedly, “It was at least three times my size and it was wearing clothes.”
“Really?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
“Eeyup, and when I tried to talk to it, it fell forward.”
“Oh my.” The shy pegasus said worriedly, “The poor dear was probably scared. Was it okay?”
“I think so.” Sweetie Belle said, “I mean, I kicked it and-”
“You kicked a poor, frightened creature?!” Fluttershy cried, mortified.
“Not hard.” Sweetie Belle said quickly, “I kicked it and it sort of groaned.”
“It must be injured. Girls,” Fluttershy face turned from anxious to determined, surprising the three fillies, “take me to him, or her. Do you know what gender it was?”
“Nope.” The girls said. Scootaloo readied her wings as Fluttershy hopped into the wagon.
“Hold on, everypony!” Scootaloo announced.
Fluttershy lost some of her bravado as she looked around the wagon, “Um, hold on to what?”
Scootaloo shot off with her scooter and the wagon shot off after it. Fluttershy was not ready for the sudden burst of speed that she was nearly thrown off. Luckily, Applebloom and Sweetie managed to hold onto Fluttershy as all four of them left Sweet Apple Acres and went towards the strange creature.
________________________________________
Silver was moving at a slow jog, gasping for air,
“I’ve got *pant* to start *pant* exercising *pant* more!”
He stopped and doubled over, trying to catch his breath. He looked up and was shock to see that he was standing at the edge of what appeared to be a town.
“What?” Silver said, flabbergasted, “But, I was nowhere near a town last time I checked. When did-how did-” He sighed, “Screw it; it’s cartoon logic.” He looked behind him and saw that the sun was almost completely gone.
The town was deserted, which was good news to Silver since he did not want to be seen by the citizens. That was the main reason he didn’t want him or Angel to go to Equestria; the ponies. Angel wouldn’t believe him, but Silver rationalized that one of the worst places a human could be is in Equestria. Silver decided this when he watched the episode where the ponies dealt with the zebra. The fillies seemed not to mind, but Silver chalked it up to children’s innocence. If grown ponies would be that fearful and aggressive with something that looked different, but was part of the same race, how would they react to something completely alien to them?
Silver snuck his way through the town. Thankfully, there were a lot of hiding places that Silver used whenever he saw a pony poking its head out of a window.
“Where is that damn bird?” Silver growled after throwing himself into a bush when a pony came out of its home to take out the trash.
“Who?”
“The bird that took my coin.”
…
Still in his bush, Silver turned to see the owl behind him. The animal was holding the coin with his feet.
“What’s up?” Silver said calmly, “You mind giving me my coin back?”
“Who?”
“You’re just trying to piss me off, aren’t you?”
The owl stared at the human for a second before flying off. Silver watched the owl fly for a while before going into the window of a…giant tree.
“How on Earth, or Equestria, did I miss that?” Silver thought aloud as he stepped in front of the towering tree. It was decorated with windows, a small door, and a sign with an open book.
“Wait a second…” Silver said slowly, “I know who lives here. The main character…uh…let’s see…least favorite book…” he snapped his finger, “Twilight! That’s who lives here!” His moment of victory was short lived when something dawned on him, “Crap! Of course the owl would belong to the smart one. How the hell do I sneak in?”
He racked his brain over possible ideas; each one becoming stupider and stupider.
“Come on, Silver, you have a slightly above average brain. You can outsmart innocent ponies! Just think!”
________________________________________
“Where did it go?” Applebloom cried, “It was right here.”
The crusaders and Fluttershy finally arrived to the place where the fillies left the creature, except it was completely creature-less.
“What do you think happened?” Scootaloo asked, searching the empty pasture.
“Maybe it teleported?” Sweetie Belle said.
“But it didn’t have a horn.” Scootaloo retorted.
“Maybe it doesn’t need a horn to use magic.”
“What do you think, Fluttershy?” Applebloom asked.
Fluttershy didn’t answer. She was staring at the ground intently. She suddenly looked up and pointed to the direction of Ponyville, “It went that way.”
“How do you know?” the trio said in unison.
“Tracks.” Fluttershy said, pointing to very strange hoofprints.
“You know how to track animals?” Applebloom asked, “That’s amazing!”
“Not really.” Fluttershy blushed, “After almost losing Angel Bunny at Celestia’s and Luna’s old castle, I wanted to learn how to find my animal friends in case any of them wandered off.”
“Then lead the way.” Scootaloo said excitedly.
________________________________________
‘This is my dumbest idea ever.’ Silver thought, ‘This is even dumber then the time I used condoms as balloons for the school dance.’
Silver went up to the tree and knocked on the door. He waited for a couple of seconds before it opened. A lavender pony with dark blue hair and assorted highlights opened the door. Silver knew that this was Twilight.
“Hello,” she said, “how can I-”
She stopped when she got a good look at who was knocking. Silver didn’t blame her for looking confused; it wasn’t every day a human on all fours covered in a grey blanket from head to toe knocks on your door. The blanket formed a small crack around Silver’s face that hid it and allowed him to see. Silver was also surprised to see Twilight. Last time he checked, she was a unicorn.
‘Why does she have wings’ he thought.
“Hello,” Silver said, “I saw the sign and was wondering if this really was a library.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Twilight said excitedly as she let the human, or cloaked pony to her, in.
“Sorry that I’m disturbing you so late.”
“Don’t be.” She insisted, “There is no such thing as time when it comes to learning something new. Besides, you’re probably the first real customer I had in months.”
‘Well, that’s depressing.’ the human thought cynically.
Silver crawled into the library and saw that it was much bigger than the door let on. He pretended to search the rows of books, but he was really keeping an eye out for the owl.
“Is there anything you’re looking for in particular?” Twilight asked helpfully.
“Angels.” Silver said airily.
Twilight blinked, “I’m sorry, but what are Angels?”
Silver turned to the unicorn, “You know, religion.”
“What’s religion?”
‘No wonder this place is a supposed Utopia; there’s no religion to divide them.’
“Never mind.” Silver said, “How about books on myths?”
“Is that what religion is?” Twilight said conversationally as she trotted to one of the book sections, “A myth?”
“Kind of.”
Twilight used her magic to levitate a particularly large book from the top shelf and to Silver, “This should give you an insight to every myth known to pony kind.”
“Thank you.” Silver said as he eyed the magic aura around the book. He carefully engulfed the book with his cloak and tucked it under his arm, “This will make for some excellent bedtime reading.”
Twilight chuckled lightly at the joke, “Is there any other book you’d like?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Do you have a book on owls?” Silver emphasized the last part, “I’m really curious about them recently.”
Twilight nodded and quickly pulled out a book from the shelf behind her with magic. She handed it to Silver.
“Fascinating creatures, aren’t they?” Silver said casually, but he was secretly holding his breath.
“I should think so, considering I have one for a pet.” Twilight said happily.
“Really?” Silver said with fake enthusiasm, “Would you mind if I can look at it?”
“Not at all.” Twilight turned her head to the upper levels of the library, “Owlicious, can you come down here? Somepony wants to meet you.”
“Who?” the owl hooted as it flew down to the ground floor. Owlicious saw his master and then turned his attention to the cloaked human. Owlicious then swooped into the blanket and came face to face with Silver.
“Owlicious, what are you doing?” Twilight cried in surprise at her pet’s strange behavior. Under the blanket, Silver was staring daggers at the owl, who looked back at the human curiously. The animal then nodded its head and showed the angel coin clutched in its legs. The owl dropped it, left the human, and returned to his master.
“Sorry about that.” Twilight said as Silver pocketed the coin, “Owlicious is usually more considerate of other ponys’ personal space.”
“No worries.” Silver said with a slight chuckle, “If you’ll excuse me, I best be going.”
“Okay, all I need is your library card.”
“What library card?”
“Don’t worry.” Twilight said as she used her magic to summon a camera (‘this place has technology?’ Silver thought), “If you don’t have one, I could make one for you easily.” She readied the camera and then chuckled, “You know, your library card would be a lot better if you took off the cloak.”
“Yeah…that is not gonna happen.”
“Don’t be shy.” She insisted, “How about just the hood?”
Before the human could answer, the library door burst and three fillies tumbled in.
“Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo,” Twilight said, surprised, “What are you three doing here?”
“Is it here, girls?” Fluttershy asked as she poked her head in.
“Is what here?” Twilight asked, completely flabbergasted by the current events unfolding.
“We’re looking for some strange animal.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah, and Fluttershy tracked it here.” Scootaloo added.
“I haven’t seen any strange animal around here.” Twilight said thoughtfully, “The only other living thing I’ve seen all day is…um,” she turned to Silver, “I’m sorry, but I never got your name.”
Silver responded in a lot of incoherent words; he was in a room with 5 ponies. He saw that the only exit was blocked by Fluttershy.
“Okay,” he said as he dropped his books, “I think I should be on my way. You all seem very busy, so…” he made his way to the door. In his haste, he tripped over his not-so-perfect disguise. Instinctively, he clamped his hands over the pocket with the coin so it would fall out. He fell to the floor and, to his horror, the blanket fell off him.
Silver lied there, in full view of the ponies. Twilight and Fluttershy stared at the human with their mouths hanging opened. The three fillies, however, were chanting, “We found it! We found it!”
Silver slowly got to his feet and picked up the blanket. He cleared his throat, “Okay, we are all intelligent, sensible beings. Let’s just-”
Silver threw the blanket to Twilight, catching her off guard. He then went sprinting to the door, which was still blocked by Fluttershy.
“Move!” he ordered. Fluttershy snapped out of her daze and obeyed the command. She jumped out of the way as Silver baseball slid out of the door and into the town.
“LATERS!” Silver shouted behind him as he ran away from the dumbstruck ponies.