A hoof knocked on my door. My eye twitched.
The knock came again, louder.
I rolled over on the burnt remnants of my feather bed, away from the door. I did not want to be disturbed – not now, not ever again.
The door latch clicked, and a beam of light from the hall outside spread, creeping across the room until the door fully opened.
“Princess Celestia?”
A cold shiver ran down my spine. That voice was altogether too cheerful and upbeat. If I never heard it again, it would be too soon.
“Princess, my name is Doctor Bloom.” Of course the voice came again. “I'm the head counselor at the Canterlot Psychological Institute. Doctor Heartstitch asked me to see you.”
I quashed the sudden urge to murder this pony.
“I know you've just been through a very traumatic episode. Would you like to talk about it?”
“No.”
“The first step to recovery is being able to talk about your problems.”
I kept laying with my back to him, brooding in silence.
I could hear his uneven hoofsteps as he made his way toward me, carefully avoiding the shredded memories all over the floor. “I've helped quite a few victims of traumatic events, so I know what you've been going through.”
I whirled around and jumped to my feet, raising a cloud of black ash. “You have no idea what I'm going through!”
The stallion backed away, his wings flaring.
I grinned. Fear would be this meddler's undoing.
“F-fair to say...” He glanced all around the room, anywhere but at me. “But would you like to talk about it?”
“You disobeyed a direct royal order by coming in here.”
He gulped.
A jolt of magic shot through my body, making my back legs twitch. “I can exercise full discretion in deciding your punishment.”
“What happened to your mane? Why did it turn pink?” He backed away, breathing heavily. “Princess, you are not yourself right now. I urge you to–”
“Your body is forfeit, but...” I luxuriantly licked my lips, from one side to the other. “It is quite a nice body. I'm sure I can find a use for it.” I stalked toward him, putting a sensuous sway into my steps, and I let a predatory grin spread across my face.
“Princess! I can't–”
In a flash, I teleported behind him. I stroked a hoof across the curve of his flank.
“Your Highness, please! This isn't you. You need to focus on–”
“Have you ever been penetrated, Doctor Boom?”
He jumped away and ran to the door. “I'm sorry, Princess, but I can't treat you until you're ready to cooperate. When you decide to...”
I licked my lips again, even slower than before, never breaking eye contact with the stallion.
“I...” He shook his head. “I can't!” Running away down the whitewashed hall, he yelled back, “I'm sorry, Princess!”
As he disappeared, the jolt of magic ran through me again. What had happened to me? Why had I done that? I'd never done anything like that before... The magic burned through me again. It actually felt much like the Elements of Harmony had. I shook my head and used my magic to slam the door closed, dropping the room back to its perpetual dimness.
Eventually, my breathing slowed down and I could relax. I sat down, only to bump into something cold and hard behind me.
I turned my head to find the magic mirror of Polaris, or one of them at least. It had been a gift from Luna, of course, part of a pair of magic mirrors, each one displaying the other's reflection. I had been blind to it for a long time, but now all it could show was a view of Luna's empty bedchamber. How lonely must she have been to give such a gift? I grimaced. How ignorant must I have been to have seen it as no more than a magical trinket, a mere curiosity. This was no bauble; this was another cry for help from my desperate sister... yet another cry for help that I ignored.
My vision blurred, and I smashed a hoof into the huge pane of glass. Shards fell and cut into my foreleg, but I hardly noticed. Nothing could stop my pain. Nothing could bring my sister back.
I wiped my eyes and looked back up. The mirrors of Polaris had been one of a kind, their secrets lost to even the wisest unicorns. The image in the ornate gold frame was no longer Luna's chambers. The mirror of Polaris was no more; the intact half could end up connecting to anything. Now my own reflection looked back at me, shattered and distorted.
It wasn't a pretty sight. The bruises and cuts from my fight against Nightmare Moon still scarred my face, and the ashes from my bed left my coat a matted, dirty grey mess, except for the white streaks under my eyes. I fanned out my wings. The inside feathers had escaped the worst of the ashes, but they were still broken, tangled, and frayed. I probably wouldn't even be able to fly again without a thorough preening.
Good riddance. What use did I have for flying, anyway? Where would I go? I stalked back over to my bed, trampling bits of old photos under my hooves. Without anypony to share it with, none of it mattered.
Wings still outstretched, I flopped onto the ruins of my bed. I didn't care if the one clean spot on my body ground into the ashes. I didn't care about any of it.
* * *
I rolled over in my scorched bed again. My whole body ached, and I could feel the lines of power the elements had coursed through. They throbbed with a beat foreign to my body. It couldn't be ignored; it couldn't be resisted.
The drumbeat of the elements marched on, pounding through my burned-out body. They goaded me, dared me to pick a fight, to use them again.
Had this been what Luna felt? It couldn't be as strong as the rhythm pulsing through me now, but three elements would still be a burden. Had the elements driven Luna to rebel?
I slammed a hoof down, scattering ashes across my face. Luna was blameless in this, as I should have known from the beginning.
One of the bigger shards of the mirror floated up to me, enveloped in my golden magical glow. I wanted to see the pony responsible.
I had never looked so foul, so monstrous. It was fitting.
The elements pulsed again. I nearly screamed.
There had to be something I could do.
* * *
The spider continued its assault, crawling in spurts toward my bed. I watched its approach, biding my time and building my power until the perfect moment.
With another short burst of movement, the insidious arachnid moved into perfect striking range.
The grin on my face grew to manic proportions. My bones ached for an opportunity to release magical energy and calm the pounding rhythm of the elements. This threat, tiny though it was, gave me an excuse. I unleashed the fury of the sun onto the spider's back, vaporizing it instantly.
The beam continued on, through floor after floor of the castle. When I finally allowed it to cease, I found myself looking down a long, smoking tunnel.
Screams echoed up through the hole, from the kitchens below. I didn't care; not my problem. Collateral damage was irrelevant. The important part was that the threat had been neutralized.
The two guards stationed outside my door burst into the room. “Your Highness! What's wrong?”
“Nothing's wrong.” I glanced down at the smoking hole in my floor and smiled. “Nothing at all.”
The other guard stepped forward. “Are you sure, Princess? Are you hurt? Is there anything we can help you with?”
My leg twitched. I whirled around and leapt into the guard's face, snarling.
Before the guards had managed to back away more than a couple steps, I composed myself. I smiled sweetly, but let the sharpness stay in my eyes. “Why, yes, actually. There is something you can assist me with.”
The guards breathed fast and shallow, and their coats stood on end, but their training was good – neither of them displayed distress openly. “Yes, Princess?” they asked in perfect unison.
“I need you to reclaim the Eastern Wastes from the dragons.”
The two guards suffered a delicious moment of stunned silence. Finally, one spoke up, “Of... course, Your Highness. I'll contact Captain Razor Wing and begin assembling our–”
“No.”
For a moment, the tension vanished from the guards' shoulders. Did they think I had just canceled my order?
“I want the two of you to reclaim the Eastern Wastes alone.” The insincere smile on my face grew even sweeter.
Their mouths dropped open, and their wings drooped. “Princess, you can't possibly expect–”
“Immediately.” I leaned in close between them. “You wouldn't want to be sent to keep Nightmare Moon company, would you?”
The other guard nodded his head. “We'll get started right away, Your Highness.”
I grinned as I watched the two of them scurry away. That would be the end of any interruptions from them, and it had been amusing, watching them squirm. I wondered briefly if they would actually attempt the mission I'd given them.
I shrugged and closed the door with my magic. At least they were gone. The door clicked closed, leaving me alone in the dingy room again. Gone... just like my sister. I stared at my shattered mirror, and the sight of it snuffed out any elation from tormenting the guards.
She was gone. What was the point of happiness if you had nopony to share it with?