//------------------------------// // Castle of Chaos // Story: Celestia and the Mysterious Red Button // by Word Worthy //------------------------------// Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie Pie were nearing their destination as they stood clustered near one another in the cramped confines of one of Morgan Freeman’s magical elevators, graciously provided by Morgan Freeman. It was an interesting few moments, being in the dimension-jumping machine. Interesting turned to unbearable however, after Pinkie Pie’s face began to turn sickly green under her fur from the continuous spinning sensation that the elevator seemed to produce. “Ooh! I think those were the cupcakes I ate for my after-breakfast snack this morning. You wouldn’t believe how delicious they were, Your Majesties!” Pinkie Pie remarked suddenly, breaking the silence and looking all around the elevator cabin. Despite being rather dizzy herself, Celestia managed to follow her subject’s gaze. “Oh my, how colorful.” She remarked, giggling slightly. Luna fussed over her coat and mumbled in frustration, having taken almost the full brunt of Pinkie Pie’s vomit in her fur. Luckily the mystical properties of her flowing mane prevented the rejected cupcakes from gathering there, finding instead a new home on the gilded wall beyond. “Ugh... Perhaps you mean...” Luna struggled to hold her own lunch down as she spoke. “Yesterday morning, Pinkie Pie. ‘Tis already...past midnight now.” Pinkie Pie giggled, wiping her muzzle clean. “Oh yeah, you’re right Princess Luna! Silly me.” She pointed at the wall nearest her. “Neat-o, you can even still see the sprinkles in it!” Luna’s stomach had nearly seen and heard enough. At last, the trio had arrived home. Celestia emerged from the elevator first as it teleported into the throne room with a loud electric cracking noise, clutching her stomach and laughing with an intensity quite uncharacteristic of herself. Pinkie remained inside the elevator, still inspecting the mess. Luna finally exited, staggering out and clutching at her own stomach for a whole another reason. Laughter from Celestia stretched out across the room, and caught the occupants’ attention. A single occupant approached with a tray in one of their hooves. “Ah, the Princesses have returned, glorious!” The speaker moved the tray in closer so they could all see its contents. “Say, would any of you care to partake of some muffins, or a cupcake with extra sprinkles perhaps?” Luna finally reached her breaking point, tossing her lunch onto the ground in front of her. Celestia laughed again, pointing a hoof at Luna. The younger sibling glared up at her. “Hey, this chunk has the same colors as Rainbow Dash’s mane!” Pinkie Pie called out from behind them. At that point, Celestia ceased her laughter as well. She turned green in an instant and inclined her head, changing the color of the marble floor. The pony holding the tray sounded offended. “What, is there something wrong with cupcakes?” By now, Luna had recovered. With a single spell, she cleaned up the entire mess, including the one inside the elevator. “Aww, darn it! I was just starting to tell which flavor was which, again!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed in disappointment, emerging from the elevator. Celestia retched again at her words, but had nothing left to expel. The elevator, now completely spotless, disappeared back to its home dimension soon after. Satisfied they had largely resolved the complications of their return, Luna finally took in the sights around her, starting with the pony in front of them. “Unbelievable.” She said in disbelief. The stallion who had offered them cupcakes and muffins was one of the Royal Guards; emphasis on ‘was’. The guard had traded his helmet for a ridiculous looking pointed cultist cowl, and wore a matching red robe over his body armor. Luna and Celestia then looked up from him and to his surroundings as he left their presence, only to discover a bizarre scene, even when compared to all that had already happened before they vanished. Discord’s dopplegangers, as well as himself, had ominously vanished, and the dubstep music had stopped playing. Meanwhile, the guard’s fellows were scattered around the room, wandering around with identical robes and trays of cupcakes, or clustered around two central things on either side of the dias where Celestia’s throne was situated. In the Princesses’ absence, they had been performing some ‘redecorating’ at a rapid pace, no doubt aided by the button itself. Bonfires were lit for no apparent reason in some corners. Banners made of the castle’s window drapes were hastily hung from the high ceiling at various intervals. Each depicted a crudely-made depiction of the red button. The two groups were kneeling down on their respective sides, chanting and eating sweets. The first focus of their worship appeared to be Philomena, who was in the middle of an altar made from neatly stacked bits. The phoenix hooted down at them in confusion from her perch, which was a small pile of bits haphazardly stacked. The second group, far more ominously, had the red button in their possession, on an even higher altar mound of bits. Sure enough, they were worshiping it as well. Luna saw the button at once, and sprinted towards the chanting guards, who were constantly repeating the phrase, “Red Button, shiny, shiny!” Droning in their monotone voices, the brain-addled guards were completely oblivious to her presence, as well as the world around them, it would seem. In the meantime, Celestia and Pinkie Pie’s attention was diverted by an explosion from the doorway to their side. The real Discord emerged from it, his fur blackened and smoking. He had a wide-eyed, mystified look as coughed up a cloud of ash. “Derpy, finally got her muffin back.” He said simply. Celestia chuckled uncertainly, still feeling sick from before. “I...I see that, Discord. How are you feeling? Was the button activated again, where are your copies, what happened as we disappeared?” The earth pony and the alicorn both watched Discord as he sat down awkwardly in the nearest chair, now made of wood once more. He coughed again, then regained his usual demeanor. “Pinkie Pie, would you be a dear and go fetch little old me an ice water of glass, please?” “Okey dokey!” Pinkie Pie replied, darting out towards the royal kitchens. Several robed guards kept appearing from that direction. They ignored her as she passed, chanting randomly to themselves and holding trays of cupcakes or other various baked goods as they brought them to the two altars. “Tia, I’d love to play twenty questions, but suffice to say, I’ll be blunt. Let’s see... Ah yes! I'm good, Derpy returned to Ponyville with her muffin and laser vision, my friends all went back home, the guards triggered the button again while trying to un-hear the exquisite music, then everything got all...well, still strange, but not quite so chaotic anymore.” One of the marble columns next to his chair burst into flames. “Okay, still somewhat chaotic, but nothing grandiose enough to satisfy my tastes.” Discord confessed, winking the flame out of existence. Discord snapped his fingers, teleporting Pinkie Pie and the glass of water she was carrying to his side. “Thank you, dear! Just what I needed!” Pinkie Pie grinned and cheerfully handed him the glass, which he chugged. The water remained, somehow retaining the shape of the glass. The ice inside also caught fire, before Discord threw it towards a patch of unoccupied floor, where it all promptly exploded. Luna returned to them, button floating carefully in front of her. “I’ve gotten it. Seeing as how it being pressed is inevitable so long as its here, I’ve given up trying to stop it from being activated anymore.” Her ears flattened. “Clearly, if our world were to be destroyed by its activation, this...thing...would have already done it. It’s had plenty of chances, after all.” “Cake...?” Celestia began, inexplicably drawing her eyes towards the mysterious device yet again. “Oh, for the love of!” Luna tsked, containing her anger. “I’ll just press the cursed thing for you, sister.” She rose into the air beating her wings and holding her forelegs up, also raising her tone of voice. Luna couldn’t even believe what it was she was saying. “In fact, anypony who wishes for me to press this from now until dawn, need only say so. Does this not please you?” “I’d say so!” Pinkie Pie said. “I want to see what this shiny button thing can do!” “Seems fair to me.” Discord added, rubbing his talon and paw together. “Cake.” Celestia murmured affirmatively. With a sigh, Luna landed, then levitated the button towards herself. She closed her eyes and tensed her body. “Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three!” Luna’s hoof slammed into the polished red surface of the button. The familiar surge of magical energy, now long since old and ominous to Luna, took shape in the air around it, cascading across the castle. In an instant, all the guards, as well as the throne room decor were all returned to normal. Their cloaks vanished, and the guards wandered about, recovering their spears and then returning to their stations. Many stood warily, teeth gritted, eyes flitting rapidly across the room between each other and the button in Princess Luna’s hoof. Unfortunately, the world was not restored to normal. The roof of the throne room swiftly vanished, exposing the stars of the night sky and the Moon overhead. The sky also revealed itself to be full of Canterlot’s many pegasi guards, and even ordinary pegasi citizens of the capital. They were flying in random patterns, backwards, some even doing so while upside down. The pond water in the Canterlot Gardens also burst into flames, too. Pinkie Pie gasped, along with many of the guards, as trays of gingerbread ponies started hopping out of their places and assumed lifelike forms near Philomena’s pile of gleaming bits. Soon, an army of sugary sweet ponies stood in a mob of dozens, facing Luna and the others. They were silent, scrutinizing the group with their empty gumdrop eyes and creepy, sugary pastel grins. Luna was still tensed up, her eyes firmly shut, while Celestia looked back at them. Gingerbread was obviously not cake, but to her, it was still sugar, and would have to do. The alicorn licked her lips in anticipation, while Pinkie Pie mimicked her in a near identical fashion. Discord merely sat and observed the proceedings with a delighted grin. He conjured up an ottoman, a phonograph, and a mini fridge full of Sweet Apple Acres Crystal Cider (TM), then happily reclined his mismatched legs. When Luna finally did open her eyes a smidgen to see what new horrors her button press might have wrought, she narrowed them. On the phonograph, a vinyl record crudely labeled ‘Mozart’s Requiem, Dies Irae’ quietly played off to the side. “Gingerbread ponies, running amok in Canterlot Castle? I think not. Kindly leave this place, we’ve had far more than enough ‘fun’ for one night.” Discord made a quiet booing sound off to the side, clutching a bottle of cider. “Why so early? They haven’t even done anything funny yet!” Luna ignored him, still glaring at the living treats. “I’ll ask again, creatures. Leave now, while we are still in a peaceful frame of mind!” One of the ginger bread ponies slowly emerged from the mob. Unlike the others, she had something akin to a pointy elf hat on her otherwise mane-less head. “Bite our crunchy brown asses.” She finally said, turning her smile completely upside down to convey anger. Fury ignited within Luna in a heartbeat. Her eyes assumed a fiery glow, and her voice amplified itself with her magic. Discord’s summoned music player increased its volume as the draconequus himself leaned in, watching with rapt attention. “Very well, sugary fiends from Tartarus. We’ll have it your way, prepare to be annihilated! Sister, Pinkie Pie, our Royal Guards, feast!” “But your highness, they outnumber us!” One guard cried, shaking and curling up close to his telekinetically wielded spear. Part of the gingerbread pony mob turned to glare at him. “If the button can summon this intruders, than perhaps it will summon allies as well!” Luna declared, reasoning that any truly sane logic had been ditched hours ago, by this point in the night. Another button press yielded what Luna had been hoping for. The main door to the throne room began shaking with activity, drawing the gingerbread mob’s attention to it. Five seconds later, the door burst open, admitting a large horde of Pinkie Pie clones, which caused the original Pinkie Pie to look on in with worry and confusion. “Fun! Fun! Fun!” Was the battle cry as the pink wave descended upon the hapless gingerbread ponies. Celestia quickly joined them, reducing the intruders to mere crumbs in seconds. Shrugging, this world’s Pinkie Pie grinned and eventually joined in. Finally, the Guards too, took part in the phantasmagoric, surreal feast under the moonlight. Luna and Discord observed the event, the latter with interest, the former with impatience. When the gingerbread ponies finally were no more, Luna looked to the sky, seeing that the pegasi were still restlessly swarming the airways above the Castle. Unsurprisingly, many were wearing their sleep wear. They were evidently unaware that they were sleep flying, or that their rulers were indirectly, and sometimes involuntarily, messing with the fabric of reality like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. Case and point, Luna wasted no time preparing herself to activate the button for one final occasion. Having recovered from her stupor by consuming vast amounts of sugar, Celestia noticed what her sister was doing. “Luna, I thought you were adamant about not pressing that thing any more.” Luna sighed impatiently. “Did you not understand me when you were under the button’s sway? Very well then, I would activate this button to return the pegasi to normal, and in hopes of saving the Treasury money on having to purchase a supper-massive rain tarp in the future.” “You could paint stripes on the tarp and turn the Castle into a circus!” Pinkie Pie and Discord suggested in unison. Celestia shook her head firmly at that, causing Pinkie’s mane to deflate and Discord to rap his talons on the mini fridge in disappointment. “Very well, Luna. I’ve pressed it, you’ve already pressed it, even our guards have pressed it at one point or another.” Celestia let out a sigh of her own. “What’s the worst that could happen?” “Based on tonight’s track record, Tia, I’d say a lot.” Discord pointed out with a light bout of snickering. “Enough! We bet on one final press, to fix everything, or come what may.” Her hoof neared the button ever so slowly. As she did so, Pinkie Pie had stumbled upon the box the button had initially arrived in. Having read the note, she looked up and frowned slightly. “Hey, Your Majesties? I bet whoever sent this button must be super-duper angry right now!” “Don’t worry Pinkie Pie, I’m sure they’re reasonable people, we’ll be able to sort it out with them when they arrive to collect it in the morning. This is assuming that’s what they had in mind.” Celestia said, turning to her. “Besides...” “Hmm... They did send the red button to us without any context whatsoever, with a very vague explanation as to why. And...judging by the wording, they did not know entirely who it was they were sending it to.” Discord interjected, hiccuping and setting down another empty bottle at the foot of his seat. Celestia turned to him with shock and amazement on her face, as Luna’s hoof neared ever closer to the red button. “Discord? I’ve never seen your mind so....logical, before.” Discord curled his lips into a mischievous smirk. “I know, it’s all the apple cider talking, Tia my dear.” Finally, Luna’s hoof met the surface of the button, igniting its magic once more, hopefully for the final time that night. There was not a climatic build up of magic this time. The button instead just unleashed its energy all in one massive pulse, radiating out all across central Equestria. Luna prodded at the ground in satisfaction as she observed the Pegasi breaking off and returning to their homes and guard postings. Now it was the roof’s turn. Slowly, the top portion of the throne room architecture re-materialized. Brick by brick, it rebuilt and reassembled itself. Everything seemed as if it might finally be restored to normal. That was at least, until the Moon started moving rapidly across the sky off its own accord, without Luna or Celestia’s intervention.