Life 2: Chaotic Training Camp from Hell
Part 1
It's Monday morning and I stretch comfortably. Man, what a good night's sleep. Sure, there was some head scratching involved, when Celestia put us up in Ponyville's one and only hotel. But I get the feeling that these ponies would do just about anything to please her.
Since ponies are a great deal smaller than humans, they did have a problem finding beds for us. (Well, Gasper and Koneko-chan fit in the standard version, but not the rest of us.) The hotel staff came up with the idea of putting three beds side by side and laying across it. That actually makes it the equivalent of a king-size bed in human terms.
A ray of sunlight is hitting my face. What a peaceful way to wake up. Maybe I can get a few more minutes of sleep, I think, so I turn around.
Hm? I thought I caught a glimpse of something beautiful there, right before I closed my eyes again. What was it? Curiosity overcomes my wish to sleep in for once, so I open my eyes and then I immediately clap one hand over my face to hold back the nosebleed that is about to ensue.
“O-o-oppai!”
Buchou stirs next to me, but doesn't wake up. Why is she here and in the nude? Well, she always sleeps in the nude. Then I can feel skin on my back.
“Ise-san,” a sleepy voice mutters.
Asia! You too? Well, it's not like they haven't done this before. But I wasn't expecting it here. We're not at home, you know? Is it really alright to crawl into my bed here?
My hand involuntarily moves on its own, but then I stop myself. Every time this happened in the past, Buchou wakes up at this point. I wanna touch them, but as long as I don't wake them, I can at least look as much as I want. I wanna see Asia's, too!
I shift my weight and manage to roll back onto my back without waking either of them. Alright! By thinking it through instead of just acting on impulse, I feel like I accomplished something. Ohhh! Their chests are heaving slowly as they breathe calmly. This was definitely the right move. I'm gonna enjoy this as long as I can.
Something feels odd, though. Is it because the location is different? No, there's something else. Why does it feel like there's a weight on my legs? I don't wanna wake them up, but I gotta see what's going on, so I slowly lift the covers.
“A-A-Akeno-san!?”
“Ara ara, good morning, Ise-kun. Ufufu.” She's smiling like there's nothing out of the ordinary going on.
“What are you doing here?”
She slides up along my body to bring her face closer to mine. Just then I can feel something soft and fleshy press against my stomach. Is she naked as well? This feeling almost makes me pass out. The image of her two perfect orbs flashes in my head.
“I realized something last night,” she explains. “It's been over a week, since I sucked the excess magic from your dragon arm. I couldn't sleep at all, so I decided to come here. That way I could do it first thing in the morning.”
Alright, that does make sense, I guess. Ever since I gave up my left arm to enter Balance Breaker, Akeno-san has regularly sucked out the magic that keeps building up. But did she have to undress and get into my bed to do that? Not that I'm complaining or anything!
“In that case, thank you very much,” I say and lift my left hand a little.
Akeno-san smiles her enchanting smile and brings her lips to my index finger. I can clearly see her tongue sticking out as she begins to circle my finger with it. Guh. She looks so erotic, when she puts it into her mouth and begins sucking. The smooth texture of her soft lips is melting my brain. This could be a problem. She's lying right on top of me. If I get a boner, she'll totally feel it through my shorts.
For some reason it feels like the spot next to me has gotten cold, so I turn to my right. “B-Buchou!!!” She's staring right at me and I immediately jump back, hitting the end of the bed.
The covers went flying, so there's no way to hide. But Akeno-san simply sits up straight on the bed and smiles at Buchou. “Good morning, Rias.”
She also sits up in response and the two naked Onee-sama are now glaring at each other. I can feel intense pressure from Akeno-san, even though her smile remains.
“Fuweh?” My sudden move also woke up Asia, who is rubbing her eyes groggily.
“Aren't you presuming a little much, Akeno?” Buchou is speaking very quietly. But I've learned that this is part of her, when she's really angry.
“What do you mean, Rias? I only came to help out my cute kouhai.”
“Ise is my servant.”
This is bad. They're scary, when they fight. You'd think I'd be happy they're fighting over me. But really it's more like two normal human girls fighting over who gets to pet the cute puppy first. The part that makes it scary is that normal human girls can't summon thunder and lightning or release the power of destruction at will.
While I contemplate how to defuse the situation, there's a knock at the door. Without even waiting for a reply, the visitor enters. “Sensei wants us to come down and ...”
She freezes at the scene in front of her. “Koneko-chan,” I say lamely. “This isn't what it looks like.”
Calmly she takes a desk lamp from the table next to her and strikes a pose like a baseball pitcher. Oh, I can see her panties. They're white with red polka dots. “Pervert.”
“Eh?”
That's the last thing I remember clearly. All that comes after is a crash and blackness as the appliance strikes my face. “Ise-san!” I think Asia is screaming. Sorry, Asia. I'll go on to hell first.
* * *
My nose still feels funny. I think it was actually broken. After I passed out, Asia of course healed me right up with her powers. I almost suspect Koneko-chan knows this and uses it to her advantage. Since Asia heals all of my wounds straight away anyway, she feels no need to pull any punches. I could actually die one of these days.
“Right, everyone's here and conscious. Let's begin.” After breakfast Azazel-sensei gathered all of us in the lobby to discuss our plans for the coming week. That was actually what Koneko-chan came to tell us.
The Fallen Angel Governor looks at a paper in front of him and frowns. “I was gonna put all of you through some serious training over the summer. Unfortunately we have neither the time nor the people here for what I had in mind. We'll just have to do the best we can. That means mostly basic training.”
“I was hoping to see my Sword Master in the Underworld, but I suppose that's out for now,” Kiba says.
Azazel nods. “Well, your technique is excellent. I'd like you to improve the amount of time you can stay in your Balance Breaker state, so keep up your training. Also I want you to do some reading on pony fighting styles. That will probably come in handy, seeing that you're our only technique type.”
“How should I do that?”
“Start with the Ponyville Library. From what I hear, it's got just about anything you could need. Same goes for you, Rias. Concentrate on their history. If you want to formulate a winning strategy for the Rating Game, you'll need to know your enemy.”
“Alright,” Buchou agrees. “I was gonna do that anyway.”
Azazel-sensei is making a lot of sense. Maybe the fact that he became our advisor wasn't such a bad thing after all.
“Next, Asia. I have some ideas on how to improve your Twilight Healing, but one week isn't gonna be enough. So instead I want you to focus on your summoning skills.”
She cocks her head. “Summoning?”
He nods. “As the team healer, you're vulnerable. As it stands, someone always needs to protect you and that lessens the overall offensive power of the group. Most of you are power types, so keeping that strength focused is crucial.”
“Sorry.” I can see a tear forming in the corner of her eye.
“Oi, you make it sound like Asia is useless!”
“That's not my intention at all, Ise. Her ability was definitely a key part to your victories in the past. That's why I want her to get better at summoning. The rules allow familiars to be summoned during the Game. If her pet can protect her, that'll offset her lack of offensive power.”
“I see.” Buchou nods. “If Rassei can protect Asia, we have one more team member that can move freely and attack the enemy.”
Azazel-sensei nods and continues. “Xenovia. I want you to borrow Ascalon from Issei and practice wielding it.”
“Ascalon?” It's the holy sword Michael-sama has given me and is now part of my Boosted Gear. It's also a Dragon Slayer, a special type of holy sword.
“My Durandal is more than enough,” Xenovia contends.
“It's powerful, but you haven't completely mastered it, have you?” She doesn't answer. Looks like he's spot on. “Issei can't really use it well and he won't learn it in just a week. Frankly I don't think he's ever gonna be able to use it to its full potential.”
Oi! Why am I the only one who gets insulted here? Regardless, I detach the sword from my Sacred Gear and hand it over to Xenovia. I suppose it makes sense. There is a dragon on the other team and Xenovia is almost as good a sword fighter as Kiba.
“For Koneko we'll just have to stick with basic strength training. This isn't the time or place for what I really had in mind for you. If we awaken your true power rashly, it'll just give us trouble for the upcoming match.”
She takes the comment silently, but it seemed like her expression darkened there for a bit. Has she an idea of what he wants to do with her training after this Game? I wonder what it is.
“Next up is Gasper.” Sensei looks around. “Where is Gasper, anyway?”
Koneko-chan points at a box in the corner. “Hiii!” His scared shriek, when he suddenly becomes the center of attention, is unmistakable.
“Has he been out of that box at all, since we came here?”
Koneko-chan shakes her head in response to Sensei's question.
He puts a hand over his eyes. “Some vampire he is. Fine. We'll work on that first then. Baby steps. Now, Akeno could improve her power in a short amount of time, if … “
“No.” Akeno-san's straight out refusal surprises everyone except Buchou. She's not even wearing her usual smile. She looks … just like that one time, when we fought Kokabiel.
“This power is a part of you, you know. It's not gonna go away, just because you want it to. You're gonna have to accept that one of these days.”
“No, I don't and I won't. I can do my part just fine the way I am. My win yesterday proves as much.”
The two of them stare at each other in silence for a while. Finally Sensei sighs. “Fine. I suppose you're not ready yet. We'll talk about it some other time. You're just as stubborn as him, you know.”
“I am … nothing … like … HIM,” Akeno-san grates between clenched teeth.
I may not be the smartest when it comes to things like this, but this is about Akeno-san's father, isn't it? The Fallen Angel Barakiel. I know nothing about him. I only know this. Akeno-san seems to hate his guts. I wonder what happened between them.
Azazel-sensei then turns his attention to me. “You still can't reach Balance Breaker on your own and I don't see it happening in one week. So all we can do is basic strength training. It'll help you in the long run.”
“Can't you just give me another one of those doohickeys you gave me during the summit?”
“Those don't grow on trees, you know.” He sighs. “I even had the perfect training partner lined up for you, but there's no way to get him here.”
Training partner? First I've heard of it. Who could that be? Someone who knows about Sacred Gears or perhaps an expert on dragons? Maybe I'll get to meet him after this all over.
“Is all that really necessary?” Xenovia asks. “They're just ponies.”
“Never underestimate your enemies. Those six mares stood up to Discord and Princess Luna is in the same league as her sister.” Azazel looks at Buchou. “Organizing a match with so little time to prepare. Your brother can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?”
“I don't much care for the phrasing of that statement.” Meaning you agree with him in principle? That's harsh, Buchou!
Then all of a sudden Akeno-san comes up next to me and takes my arm. “Well, if that’s all for your briefing, Ise-kun and I will go and explore Ponyville.” She sure switched gears fast. Her usual smile is back, though I can tell she’s still a little upset over the discussion earlier.
“Akeno, we should get started with the training.” Scary! If Buchou speaks in that quiet tone, it’s always trouble. I don't want a repeat of earlier. Hope there's nothing breakable in the vicinity, like my skull.
Akeno-san looks straight at her. She’s one of the few people I know who can stand up to that intensity. “Ara ara, have you forgotten Ise’s promise? I beat Twilight, so he’s mine for the day, Rias.”
“I suppose I did promise that.” I instantly regret that statement. It’s only making Buchou angrier. I look over at Sensei in hope of back-up.
He scratches his whiskers thoughtfully. “It would be helpful to learn a little more about our opponents and this world. I suppose we can let Issei get away with his selfishness for once.” Selfishness? You told me to fucking say it, you shitty Governor!
Buchou still looks a little pissed, but she finally relents. “Fine, I see your point. I wouldn’t want my Ise going around and breaking his promises. Luckily it doesn’t look like there are any love hotels in this town.”
“Ufufu, you know me so well, Rias.” Sometimes it’s really hard to tell whether Akeno-san is serious or just teasing Buchou. What she whispers in my ear afterward almost makes my heart stop, though. “Besides, you don’t need a love hotel to have an affair.”
* * *
Despite the earlier insinuations, it’s been a more or less unremarkable morning so far. Akeno-san and I checked out the town square first. At the town hall we met a mare with a minty green coat and a harp as a cutie mark. I’ve learned that that’s what they call the pictures on their butts ... err ... I mean flanks. Supposedly they represent the ponies’ special talents.
The one we met was super friendly. She almost squealed in delight when she saw us enter the tourist information and we ended up chatting for a bit. She even gave us a map of Ponyville. The only thing she wanted in return was a photo with us. She said: “I’m gonna show this to all my friends. Now they have to believe me that humans are real!”
Then she ran off. I guess the tourist information will be closed for the rest of the day. Maybe I should have asked for a copy of that picture. Nobody back home is gonna believe this. Then again, who exactly am I gonna show this to? Mom and Dad would freak out and Matsuda and Motohama would think of me as some kind of weirdo.
We’ve just seen the Ponyville clock tower, when an idea hits me. “Do devils know about this world?”
“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t and I doubt Rias did, although evidently Sirzechs-sama and the other leaders knew.”
“Wonder if it would be alright to bring some souvenirs.”
Akeno-san’s eyes narrow. “Why do you want to know? Do you have someone in mind to get something for?”
There is something remotely threatening there, so I try to cover my ass as best I can. “Eh, ... it’s for Saji.”
She blinks. “Sona-kaichou’s [Pawn]? The one from the student council?”
“Yeah, him. I never really thanked him for his help in resolving Kiba’s problem and he even helped in Gasper’s training.”
Akeno-san nods. “I see. That sounds nice,” she says with a brighter mood.
Sorry for using you as an excuse, buddy. Actually I was thinking of getting something for Irina, my childhood friend. I’m sure she would have loved this place, but it might be a touchy subject to bring up. She’s not a devil, after all.
“Ise, STOP!”
“What?” I freeze in place and something whizzes past my face at incredible speed. What is it? An attack by the Khaos Brigade? Have they followed us here?
The thing that came at me has embedded itself in the wall of a house I was walking past. Is that ... a pie?
Curiously Akeno-san sticks out her finger and scoops up some cream, giving it a lick. “Hm, cherry.”
“Who is accelerating cherry pies to terminal velocity here? That’s dangerous!”
“Take cover!” The scream comes from nearby. Akeno-san and I nod towards each other and set off in that direction to check it out.
When we round the corner, a bizarre sight greets us. If I remember the map correctly, that building should be Sugarcube Corner. In front of the shop a monstrous machine, that looks like it’s steam-powered, is shooting confetti and assorted sweets from several cannon barrels in every direction.
Wait, I know the pink pony that is dashing around it and chaotically pressing buttons and pulling levers. “The sugar core is going critical! It needs to be cooled STAT!” Pinkie Pie yells.
While I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on, Akeno-san is already on the case. She summons a magical circle above the contraption and a torrent of water comes rushing out, engulfing it.
I can hear the metal shrieking due to the sudden temperature shock. It must have been almost red-hot before. Everybody around, and everypony for that matter, watches tensely as the erratic beats of moving machine parts wind down and finally stop. Looks like we avoided disaster here.
After checking over the device, Pinkie takes note of us. “Oh, hey! You’re from the Gremory group. Thanks for the help.”
“Don’t mention it, Pinkie-san.”
“Don’t be so formal. All my friends call me Pinkie.”
“Ara ara, in that case please call me Akeno.”
That was fast! Either this pony is really good at making friends or stopping pie-blasting machinery has some kind of bonding effect on the female mind. Then again, they don’t seem to be using honorifics here at all.
“What the hell is that thing?” I ask in stunned disbelief. It’s like something a sugar-addict in a padded cell would come up with.
“It’s my new and improved Party Cannon Mk. 2, the Party Howitzer,” Pinkie announces proudly. “Double the fun and double the firepower.” Then she looks around the battlefield in embarrassment. There’s bits and pieces of cake and frosting everywhere. “It was supposed to make ponies smile, not make them run for cover.”
“In that case you might want to dial down the speed.”
“It was at the lowest setting it can go, eleven.” Something tells me that someone needs to invent a new word for this pony, cause hyperactive somehow seems like an understatement.
Akeno-san chuckles. “Well, I’m glad we could sort this out ... Ah!” Suddenly the Party Howitzer gives off a dying shot. With a resounding splat one of its pipes bursts and covers Akeno-san in whipped cream.
“Oh no, the emergency reserve tank blew!” Pinkie screams. Emergency reserve? What does this thing run on anyway? Refined sugar and milk products?
“Ara ara, it’s getting everywhere.”
I gulp as I watch Akeno-san. The white, sticky cream is running down her face and some of it is pooling in her cleavage. Why does this look so erotic?
“Sorry about that. Want me to lick it off for you?” Dammit, Pinkie Pie! Why didn’t I think of saying that? I wanna do it!
“That’s alright. Is there a place where I could get cleaned up?”
Pinkie nods. “There’s restrooms inside Sugarcube Corner. Have you had lunch yet?”
I hadn’t even thought about that, but the grumbling of my stomach reminds me that I didn’t have breakfast due to the amazing Koneko-sama’s powers of lamp throwing knocking me senseless for the better part of the morning. “I guess we could grab a bite while we're here.”
The pony rushes over to us and pushes us in the direction of the sweet shop. “Two ‘Welcome to Ponyville Specials’ coming right up.”
I get seated at a table, while Akeno-san excuses herself to the bathroom. Taking a look around the room, I see a lot of curious glances coming my way. Looks like the general pony populace wasn't aware of the human world or the Underworld either.
It doesn't take long until Pinkie comes back and sets down two enormous plates. They're filled with cupcakes, pastries and other sweets. It's not exactly what you would call a nourishing lunch. Well, there's some salad there, but no meat. I've been told that these ponies are vegetarians. I guess it's okay for a week. I could do with some rice, though. “And here's the Extra Special Lover's Cake!” Pinkie proudly announces.
I blush at the two pieces of cake. They're covered in pink frosting and decorated with chocolate hearts. “Uhm.”
“Isn't this nice? Having a cake filled with love together with your very special somepony?” Pinkie blubbers on. Does this pony never stop talking?
“Actually Akeno-san and I are not a couple.”
She cocks her head in bemusement. “You're not? Huh. I'm not usually wrong about those things. Never mind, it's still tasty.”
“I'm sure it is.” Then I remember something. “Oh shoot, I don't have any of your currency to pay for this. What was it, bits?”
“Don't worry. It's on me. Take it as a thanks for your help earlier. Well, I'd better go and clean up the mess outside.” With that she goes, or rather bounces, outside the door. I can hear a loud crash followed by a “Oopsies, don't worry, we're good.” What a strange pony.
When Akeno-san returns and sits down her eyes are sparkling. “Oh my, this looks wonderful. So many sweets.”
No kidding. I feel like I could get diabetes just looking at it. But if Akeno-san likes it, I suppose it's alright. I have a little trouble handling my fork. I'm used to eating with chopsticks after all. Akeno-san on the other hand handles it like a pro. She has a big smile on her face while eating the cake.
“I never knew you had such a sweet tooth,” I comment.
She looks at me. “I'm just happy to be able to try so many western sweets all at once.”
“Do you like western food, Akeno-san?” It clashes a little with my image of her. With her long, black hair and ara aras and ufufus she's always been the traditional Japanese Onee-sama in my mind.
“I don't get the chance very often,” she says, looking around for her next target, the fork hanging over the plate like a bird of prey. “Rias is in love with everything Japanese, even going so far as to attend high school in the human world, so she can live in Japan.”
“What about you?” I know she would follow Buchou anywhere, but I'm getting curious.
“Don't get me wrong. I'm fond of Japan, it's my home, but I've lived there all my life. I'd like to try new things once in a while.”
I learned something new about Akeno-san. She always seemed so traditional, but I guess she wants to see the world, too. Hm, I've rarely seen her out of her school uniform or Shinto robes. She'd probably look cute in a western dress.
Just as she is about to take a bite from a cupcake, she stops and looks at me. “Ise-kun, you were just picturing me in a dress, weren't you?”
I jump. How did she …? “Are you a mind reader?”
“Ufufu, it's not hard to tell. I can tell what you're thinking just by looking. Your eyes are always so honest.” Then she gives me a mischievous smile. “And a little bit lecherous.”
Ouch. “You didn't have to say that last part out loud. But it's true. I do want to see Akeno-san in a western-style dress some day.”
With a mysterious expression that I can't quite fathom she says: “Well then, maybe I'll have to show you one day, Ise-kun.”
“Yes, please do,” I say happily, picking up my fork again and digging into lunch. For some reason it tastes even sweeter than before.