Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read/Edited by Honored Service
Chapter 34: “If it exists...”
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"This was an even worse idea." I muttered, reaching out for something to prevent me from smashing into the ground.
After diving out the window, I realized there was no balcony outside. I also realized my own mortality. Which was why I was frantically trying to swim through the air to catch myself before I became a human pancake. Fun.
I really wish I had wings.
My fingertips just caught the edge of a window frame, sending me spiraling towards the wall. I got a proper grip on the window sill below and halted my downwards momentum by smashing into the wall.
"Ow." I muttered, feeling my ribs shatter and my arm dislocate. "Thank fuck for jug." I reached up with my other arm and pulled myself up. It feels really weird to know you're hurt, but not feel any pain. It wasn't like being on painkillers, I could feel everything fine. I knew the sensation was pain, it just didn't feel bad.
I got my feet onto the window sill and started edging along the wall, only stopping for a brief moment to pop my arm back into it's socket. It was getting kind of hard to breathe. I might of punctured a lung. That's probably not good for my health.
I sighed and looked up at Celestia's quarters, as far away as ever. Maybe I should have just walked.
I frowned. That's not such a bad idea, it is getting kinda late. These guards seem to be incompetent enough to not notice me if I'm careful, especially in darkness. I kicked the window, sending shards of glass into the hopefully deserted room. I clambered through, cutting myself on one of the jagged edges of the glass. "Bollocks." I muttered, inspecting the cut. I raised my arm and looked at my chest. Some bone had broken through the skin and it was bleeding quite badly. The little tendrils that had repaired my nose were going to work fitting the bone back in place, but it looked like it would take some time. "I'm seriously going to need a doctor after this."
Looking around the room, I walked towards the door. There sure are a lot of empty rooms in this castle. I stopped with my hand on the handle and turned around. It still wasn't dark. Damn it. I sighed and settled down next to the door. Yay. Waiting.
Meanwhile
I checked my bedside clock. Almost time to raise the moon. I had been fiddling with the iPod for just over three hours now.
I had managed to open it up and take a look at the inner workings, which of course made absolutely no sense to me. There was lots of weirdly shaped metal pieces along with some plastic and some other stuff that I didn't recognize. A flat yellow box had what appeared to be warnings scattered all over it, although I couldn't be sure. They might just be logo's from the manufacturer.
Fortunately there was a pair of symbols I did recognize, the positive and negative signs, meaning that this was probably the battery. I had spent the last hour or so magically copying the battery of the iPod, including it's contents. After the third hour of working, I was left with a ghostly mockery of the battery, ready for experimentation.
I sighed and placed it down next to the small pile of components. "I need to get a hobby." I muttered, rolling of my bed onto my hooves. Feeling a small tug on my natural connection to the moon, I hurried up to the observatory.
My sister was waiting there for me, looking regal as always in the dying light. "Hello sister."
She turned and smiled. "You look tired."
I couldn't help but smile back. "I always look tired."
Her smile faded. "Are you not sleeping well?"
I laughed. "It's not me who has the nightmares."
"Can I help?"
"You have enough nightmares of your own sis. You don't need more." I sighed and tried to smile. "We both have jobs to do, I can deal with it."
She smiled weakly back. "Just let me know if I can help, okay?"
"Okay. And speaking of work," I motioned towards the sky. "we'd better get on with it."
I walked up to stand next to her and gazed out over Equestria in the dying light. "One last thing sister."
I looked over to her. "Yes?"
"Have you talked to our guests recently?"
"Joel, Edward, Shyvanna and Viridi?"
"I have actually. Edward asked me to help fix some gadget of his called an iPod.”
She was instantly suspicious. “Is it a weapon?”
I considered that for a moment. “It doesn't seem to be. Apparently it's for playing music and connecting to something called the internet.”
“What's the internet?”
“Edward said he'd show me if I managed to get it working.”
She frowned. “I don't think you should trust him.”
“Why not?”
“He threatened us both at gunpoint!”
“He knew he wouldn't hurt us.”
“He still threatened us.”
“I've known him for longer than you have, he seems to do that sort of thing quite a bit. Besides, Honored waves his guns around all the time.”
“How long have you known him for?”
“A bit longer than a month.”
“And you didn't think to tell me?”
“I sort of... Forgot.”
She sighed. “Oh Luna...”
“Come on, I have a moon to raise.”
“Alright. Together then.”
“We always do it together.”
And we're back
I looked out the window to see the stars emerge. “Finally. I was getting sick of bleeding out.”
I picked myself off the ground, leaving a small puddle of blood on the floor. Man, the cleaners are going to hate me. I tried looking through the keyhole. Nothing. I put my ear to the door. No sound either. Excellent. I opened the door and stepped out into the hall.
Surprisingly, it was devoid of things that felt like murdering my face. So that's nice.
I padded slowly towards Celestia's room, staying low and keeping my breaths shallow. The lack of guards seemed a bit suspicious, but I guess that they had lost enough men (stallions?) that they couldn't afford to have them anywhere except at key points. Such as Celestia's room. God damn it.
I poked my head around the corner and pulled back almost instantaneously. Jesus Christ, I almost walked into them.
A pair of guards in golden armor were standing guard outside a room with a huge sun depicted on the door. Unlike the regular guards, their plumes appeared to be made of fire. They also looked waaaaaaay too serious. Stupid elite soldiers.
I guess I found Celestia's room then. Now, how in all fuck am I going to get past the guards? No guns, no knives, not even my fucking coat! As if I'm going to take down a pair of alert guards in armor with my bare hands. Although I'd really like one of those helmets. Maybe I could ask Celestia for one.
Focus. Flamey helmets aren't good for stealth. Not that I'm particularly stealthy anyway, but a helmet that's on fire doesn't really help. I wonder if they come in silver. Probably not. Wasn't I focusing on something? Oh yeah! I'm right next to a pair of guards that will probably murder me on sight! With an attention span this short, I'm surprised I lasted more than a day in this job. Fuck me.
Actually, don't. I know where that's going, and I never want to see anything like that again. Ever. Fuck 4chan.
I slowly rose and backed down the corridor. I needed a better plan, preferably one that didn't end with a sword in my back. Or front. Or side. Or anywhere in my body really. Because that would hurt.
I slapped myself and shook my head. I really need to stop doing this.
“What was that?”
I turned and sprinted off down the corridor. Loudly. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!”
One of the guards was chasing me. “Hey! Get back here!”
I swerved around the corner at an incredible speed and continued to accelerate away down the next hall. I need to get away, fast. I stretched out my arm and caught the edge of a window frame. Using my momentum, I splattered into the wall at around sixty kilometers per hour, simultaneously ripping my arm out of its socket for the second time today. “I didn't think this through, did I?” I muttered, sliding down to the floor and bleeding from a dozen places. My rib had snapped again, along with most of the right side of my body. “At this rate, I'm going to-”
Down the corridor
“Edward?” The human was lying by a window, face to the wall. “What in Tartarus happened?”
He didn't answer. Or move.
I exchanged a look with my sister and cantered over to him. “Edward?”
Still no reaction. I picked him up and turned him over. The right side of his face was pulverized, along with his nose, arm and most of his ribcage. Small tendrils of his skin seemed to be trying to set the bones back in place and mend the damage, but he was still losing a lot of blood.
I heard my sister gasp. “What happened?”
He sighed slightly and muttered, “Don't worry guys, I'll respawn next round.” before slipping back into near-death.
I checked his pulse. “He's alive, but he really shouldn't be.”
She came over and looked down at the body. “How did he end up like this?”
I looked around. The wall Edward had been slumped against was cracked slightly, and there was a large smear of blood.
A guard, on of Celestia's elites, ran around the corner. “Get back here-” He stopped in his tracks and bowed. “Oh, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia. I am-”
“Cut the formalities, this man needs medical attention.” Celestia barked.
“Man?” He studied the body. “Honored Service sir?”
“No. Someone else. Now hurry up!”
The guard rushed to scoop the human onto his back. “Yes princess!”
Some time later
The first thing I noticed when I woke up was pain. Lots of pain. Way too much pain. The second thing I noticed was that I wasn't naked, which was good. The third thing I noticed was that I was in a bed that was far too small for me.
I opened my eyes and winced. “Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell happened?”
“Wards?”
I tried to turn my head. “Joel?”
“Wards! You're alive!”
“Of course I'm alive. You know what else I am? IN A LOT OF FUCKING PAIN!” I heard something crack in my ribcage, along with a fresh wave of pain.
“Oh Wards...”
I sat up slowly and looked down. My shirt was in tatters, especially the right side. Beneath my skin, something was readjusting my bones, fitting them back into place.
I looked over to Joel, who was sitting on a comically small stool, looking rather uncomfortable but grinning all the same. “You feeling okay?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, just fucking dandy. How long have I been out?”
“About a week.”
I blinked. “You know, once upon a time that would have scared me. Now? It seems rather meh.”
“What the hell were you doing?”
I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. “Something to do with teaching about bullying and jumping out windows.”
He stood up and offered a hand. “Seems more like you were failing at jumping out windows. Luna said she found you slumped next to one.”
I took it. “So what'd I miss?”
“Tell you the truth, I don't know. I've spent most of my time here.”
“Sounds like a colossal waste of time.” I smiled. “But thanks.”
He shrugged. “All good.”
I looked around. We were in some sort of hospital, although the room I was in was rather small and only really had space for my bed. There was a small bedside table with a vase of flowers on it, along with a couple of gems. I picked up the gems and pocketed them. “Nice place.” I commented, looking out the window.
“Apparently it's a private hospital, very expensive. Celestia paid for it out of he own pocket. If that's the correct terminology, since ponies generally don't wear clothes and therefore don't really have pockets.”
I shrugged. “It works. That's rather kind of her, especially considering I thought she hated me. If this is a hospital, how come I don't have nay bandages? Or like, anything?”
“Well, you know the creepy nose tendrils?”
“How can I forget the creepy nose tendrils?”
“Basically, they just stopped any attempt from the nurses to fix the problem and did it themselves. Even magic didn't work.”
“That could be a problem in the future.”
“Indeed, but they did a damn good job of it.”
“They did?”
“Dude, you were completely mangled a week ago.”
“Seriously?”
“Ribs sticking out of your chest, arm and shoulder shattered, most of the skin on the right side of your face scraped off, yeah, you weren't going to win any beauty contests.”
I opened the door and stepped outside. “So where's Shyv? And Vi for that matter?”
“Don't know. I think Shyv is back in the library. As for Vi, she could be anywhere.”
“Anything weird happen while I was out?”
“Well, Shyv came in and asked if I could leave.”
“And then what?”
“You don't wanna know.”
I paused mid-stride. “What happened?”
Joel sighed. “Well...”
A minute later
I sat down heavily. “I'm never going to be able to think about her in the same way again.”
“I told you you didn't want to know.”
“I feel violated.”