A.K. Yearling Tries to Write a Sex Scene
By: KenSES64
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A.K. Yearling, better known to some as Daring Do, was in Manehatten to speak with her publisher about the latest draft of her newest book within the the Daring Do series, ‘Daring Do and the Elephant’s Temple’.
She was unsure what he wanted to talk to her about, but whatever it was, it was putting its release on hold. She walked through the front door to see a tan earth pony mare with a brown mane and glasses behind the front desk. She looked up with her hazel eyes and said, “Oh, Miss Yearling, Mr. Press has been expecting you.”
A.K. Yearling smiled and said, “Thanks You Miss…”, she then looked at her desk to see a nametag with the name ‘Ice Coffee’ printed on it. “Coffee.”
A.K. Yearling walked past her and entered the nearby office to see another earth pony at a desk. This time it was a husky stallion with a white coat, a curly, yet thinning black mane, and wearing a dark blue suit. His cutie mark was of a ink stamp. A.K. Yearling knew this stallion well, he was Printing Press, her publisher.
He looked up from his desk at the author/secret adventurer and smiled, “Ah Miss Yearling, nice to see you again.”
“Hello, Mr. Press, your letter said you wanted to talk to me about the latest draft of my book. Is there something wrong with it?”
“Yes and no.” Printing Press replied.
“What do you mean?” A.K. Yearling asked.
“Well the book itself is fine, but it’s missing something.”
“And what would that be?”
“In this story you gave Daring Do a new companion, this Neighthan Drake character.”
“Is there something wrong with him?”
“Its just that you made it seem like he and Daring Do were going to end up together, but nothing happens.”
A.K. Yearling just stood there silent for a few silent seconds before responding with, “What?”
“It’s no big problem, it’s just that as you probably know, ponies have been asking for Daring Do to have a love interest for years, and personally I think this was a missed opportunity. Especially with all the flirting you made him do.”
“You can’t be serious,” A.K. Yearling said in a very monotone voice. She was well aware of these demands due to both the fan mail, as well as some creepy fan fictions she’d received, but because of the fact that she WAS Daring Do, instead of simple fan ideas, it felt more like her mother nagging her to get married or something like that to her.
“I’m just suggesting to give the ponies what they want.”
“But nothing ha…” A.K. Yearling began before she managed to catch herself. “I mean, I don’t really want Daring Do to have a love interest. She’s supposed to be a strong, independent mare.”
“Well even if that’s the case, maybe you could at least hint at it. Hell, you could make them have an intimate moment or something, but you don’t have to have him as a premiant lover. Though really I guess that depends on what you plan on doing with the character.”
“I currently have no future plans for him,” Yearling replied as an excuse to basically not say ‘I can’t predict the future’.”
“Well there you go, you can just have one romantic scene with them, and that’s it.”
“Yet you said “intimate moment”, you can’t be serious with that part. I mean foals read these books for Celestia’s sake!”
“Well hey, those ‘Fifty Shades of Neigh’ books are popular, so who knows.”
A.K. Yearling just facehooved and said, “With all due respect, Mr. Press, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Could you at least try to write a saucy scene? If it works it works. If not, then we can just publish it as it is and say, ‘hey you tried.’”
A.K. Yearling just signed and said, “Fine, but I still think it’s a bad idea.”
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So A.K. Yearling went back to the motel room she was staying at and took out her typewriter.
“Okay, you can do this, you can make up a saucy moment. I mean how hard can it be? Those fanfic writers do it all the time.” She said to herself, despite how she dreaded those types of fanworks. She once got sent one that involved her, Ahuizotl and some honey mustard dressing that literally gave her nightmares. She shuddered at the thought.
“Okay, now think! You, Neighthan, hot, steamy, sexy moment…” She still just sat there not sure what to write and groaned in frustration.
“Why is this so hard!? Is it because I wasn’t attracted to him? I mean, do I really need to do this? I mean, this is my series of autobiographies. Yet, really not many ponies know that. Still if I can’t write this, is it writers block or a sign that I really need to get laid?” A.K Yearling paused for a second at the thought. “Great and now I’m talking to myself. That’s just peachy.”
The pegasus mare then sat there at her typewriter for about another five minutes with still nothing coming to mind.
“Geeze why is this so hard? Damnit Printing Press, why are you making me do this? I mean, its not going to add anything.” She said to herself.
She let out a sigh and said, “Well, guess I’ll just type anything that comes to mind. I mean, I know it’ll be terrible, but it might make him see how unneeded it is.”
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So Daring Do and Neighthan Drake set up a small camp for the night. Daring Do looked at her current companion and said, “Well, the temple is about another days walk from here. So if we go to sleep now we can get up early and get going.”
The tan earth pony stallion sighed and said, “You seem real focused on this temple, I’d say even a little obsessed.”
Daring Do rolled her eyes, “I’m not obsessed, I just want to find it. I mean it’s a temple of the ancient Uboya Elephant tribe. Aren’t you even a little excited for find that? Though you’re lucky you’re even here. If I wasn’t there that camel merchant would’ve cut your hoof off.”
“Hey, I told you I didn’t steal that apple! That damn bird put it in my bag! But still I’m glad that you stepped in. I don’t think I’d be able to go on without a righty.”
Darning just stared at him a little annoyed and said, “Remind me why don’t you have a marefriend?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you have a coltfriend?”
“I’m a world class adventurer, who travels the world, solving mysteries and finding treasure. Do you really think I have the time for a relationship?”
“Well, maybe you could do both at once.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re an adventurer, I’m a… okay I wanna be an adventurer. And we’re already on this quest together. Maybe we can be together.”
Daring Do blushed a little. She didn’t know what to think of this offer, and all that came out was, “I… uh… I…”
Neighthan just walked up to her, put a hoof up to her mouth and said, “Shhhh… Don’t worry.” He then smiled, moved his hoof over from her mouth to her cheek, and then pulled her into a nice, long, passionate kiss.
When he took his lips away from hers, Daring just looked at him not knowing what to think, “Neighthan… look I just don’t know.”
“Can you at least give me a chance?” He asked with pleading eyes, “Daring, I think you’re beautiful, and I really wouldn’t mind traveling with you. We could be both a team and a couple.”
Daring almost wanted to say that she didn’t want a permanent partner, yet the situation with that mare Rainbow Dash did make her a little more open to the idea of having ponies help her. By Celestia, Neighthan wouldn’t even be on this quest with her if she wasn’t more open to the idea of having a partner.
Daring Do sighed and replied, “Fine, but if you mess up, just remember I am a very hard mare to get forgiveness from.”
“Well then I’ll try not to mess up than.”, Neighthan said before he kissed her again, and this time Daring actually returned it.
The next thing she knew she was laying on her back and she felt something touching her thigh. She looked up to see his…
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A.K. Yearling just sat there, and she just couldn’t go any further with it. Not that she couldn’t think of anything, it was just that she really couldn’t write it. Like mentally she was unable to.
She tried to wonder why. Was it that she actually did have writer’s block? Maybe she really didn’t have enough sex to write it, or maybe she felt that she was somehow above this.
Whatever it was, she took off her glasses, rubbed her head and decided to go to bed and just tell Printing Press that she couldn’t do it. Hey, he did say that she had to at least try, and she did.
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The Next Day…
A.K. Yearling sat there in front of Printing Press’s desk, who was reading what she did write. She explained the situation to him and was just waiting to see what he thought.
“Well… You did a decent job trying to set up a relationship, but as you said, you stopped when it came to the moment of truth.” Mr. Press said.
“Yes, I know. Sorry sir. I just don’t feel comfortable writing this kind of stuff. I have fans of all ages, and I don’t want to alienate a good chunk of them because of adding more mature themes. Especially if they come out of nowhere and add nothing to the overall story. And if this stuff is really popular, then I don’t want to be a part of it because then to me it’ll just feel like selling out. I hope you understand.”
Printing Press just sat there quietly, but he slowly grew a smile and even began to laugh a bit, “You know Miss Yearling? I can respect that. I mean if I was in your horseshoes I don’t think I would be able to say that, but I do understand. It’s your vision and who am I to try to tell you to change it when it’s not needed.”
“So does that mean it’s good to go?”
“Yup. After we make copies and plan a release date and all that stuff it should be on store shelves.”
A.K. Yearling let out a sigh of relief and said, “Glad to hear it, and thanks for understanding.”
“No problem.”
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Two Months Later…
After the book was released, A.K. Yearling was sitting at her home looking at some fan mail she received. Though the first letter she opened she read:
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Dear Miss A.K. Yearling,
DARING DO AND NEIGHTHAN DRAKE SHOULD OF ENDED UP TOGETHER! I DEMAND A HOT, STEAMY, SEXY SCENE! DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT WHAT YOUR READERS THINK?! I BET I COULD WRITE A BETTER DARING DO BOOK THAN YOU! Anyways I look forward to her next adventure and you would consider some of the well thought out points I made.
Sincerely Yours,
Diamond Tiara
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A.K. Yearling just let out a sigh in frustration and crumpled up the letter. She then said, “Great, lets see how many more of these I get.” She then opened another letter and sarcastically said, “Great another fan with “great ideas.”
The End