//------------------------------// // My Little Sister Can't Be This Non-Blood Related! // Story: My Little Sister: Dating is Forbidden! // by kekmaster9001 //------------------------------// *** Shining Armour wiped one singular tear from his eye. He had just spent the past eight hours clearing the game ~With Little Sister: Manehattan Chronicles~. Outside, Cadance was still banging wildly on the locked door, shrieking in pleasure. “Yes! Don’t stop ignoring me, baby! I love it when you treat me like trash!” “Shut up!” Shining Armour’s voice boomed. “You’re ruining the mood! Celestia’s flank, this is why I hate real mares…” A passing castle servant saw the horrifying exchange in it’s full splendour as she passed by. She quickly scuttled away, muttering to herself in a subdued voice, “see nothing, hear nothing. See nothing, hear nothing. See nothing, hear nothing…” Too late. Detecting the servant’s presence, Cadance’s attention immediately shifted from the door, and onto the traumatized maid. “Servant! I beseech you to abuse Us!” Sensing a respite from his wife’s continued assaults, Shining Armour took the opportunity to sneak out of his room. Exiting the castle, he shuddered to think of all the resigned domestic workers who had fallen prey to Cadance’s assaults. He headed toward the train station quietly, and hopped on the first Canterlot-bound express he could find. He had a meeting to attend. *** “Is everybody gathered?” “I’m here.” “.... Eeyup.” "Good afternoon. It's been too long!" "Howdy." The lights flickered on, illuminating a cluttered room. The decor was… tasteless, to put it tamely. Plastered on the walls were hundreds upon hundreds of pastel-hued game posters, titles ranging from Little Sister’s First Time!, and Sister Paradise Assault: Doki Doki Adventure! to My Little Human: Little Sister Maker ~Enhanced Edition~, and Little Sister Academy ~Humanized. A floor-to-ceiling cabinet jam-packed with figurines both human and pony-shaped (naturally, all little sisters, and even more naturally, all in compromising poses) covered one of the four walls. Around a dingy little table sat five ponies, who all looked like probable sex offenders. On one side sat a hulking red earth pony stallion who was wearing an overturned bucket and a white unicorn bundled in what looked to be fifty pounds worth of blankets. On the other side were three slightly-less suspect ponies: an orange earth pony mare in a fierce-looking fox fursuit, a white unicorn mare in an elaborate headdress, and a blue pegasus mare in a ski mask. “Well then, brothers and sisters,” the bundle of blankets began, “I’m Flamingcrotchtits, as you already know. Welcome to the four hundred-fiftieth meeting of Siscons Anonymous. Today on the agenda, little sisters and nothing but!” “Daringdofanpony reporting in,” the ski-mask wearing pegasus chimed in. “I’m Jackapple,” the orange earth pony replied. “Pearl Necklace here,” the white unicorn in the headdress said. “Fillylicker,” the massive red earth pony quietly noted. “Hmm… Looks like it’s the same crowd as last time,” Flamingcrotchtits mused. “So, I guess I’ll start. I finished ManeChron a while ago. Clumsy little sisters really are the best. Honestly, I wish my little sister were clumsier.” “Oh, you really have no clue, darling,” Pearl Necklace replied in a musical voice. “Clumsy little sisters get ever so irritating when they’re flesh-and-blood. I’m more of a responsible little sister type.” “Well that’s just like having an older sister, ya filthy casual!” Jackapple exclaimed in rage. “Jackapple has a valid point,” Flamingcrotchtits said thoughtfully. “If a little sister acts like an older sister character, doesn’t it cancel out their little sister appeal? Besides, we established a long time ago that flesh-and-blood versions of anything are simply poor imitations of the three-dimensional, so your point about real little sisters is moot.” “Well, it’s awfully hard not to mention the real when we have these offline meetings, is it not?” Pearl Necklace asked. “It can’t be helped,” Jackapple replied. “If Fillylicker over here hadn’t dumped half his collection of moonbait onto every single Little Sisters General thread that got started on 4pony we wouldn’t have been banned. I’m no fan of this either, since it gets in the way of bucking apple- er, I mean, picking pears, but it’s better than nothing.” “Hey guys,” Daringdofanpony said quietly, “what’re your thoughts on…?” Her voice dropped off sharply, as she mumbled a few barely audible words. Jackapple was first to break the silence which followed. “Say again, sugarcube? I think I misheard something.” “What’re your thoughts on… You know what, forget it. Nevermind. It was a stupid question.” Jackapple pressed on. “C’mon, sugarcube. We can’t help ya if you don’t speak!” “Alright,” Daringdofanpony said, gathering up her courage. “What’re you guys’ thoughts on non-blood related little sisters?” “You what, mate!?!?” Flamingcrotchtits screamed hysterically. “Nnnnope,” Fillylicker boomed menacingly. “Out. Now,” Flamingcrotchtits said as he pointed his hoof at the door. “I knew something was off about you the moment you walked in. To think that you’d even imagine non-blood related little sisters. Blasphemy! The primary appeal of the little sister character is connection by blood! Without it, no childhood memories are present to blossom into full-fledged forbidden love! What is a little sister, if one has no fond recollections of being woken up in the morning, helping her with homework, or taking a bath with her? Nothing! So out, I say, and return when you’ve realized the error of your ways!” “Now darling, don’t you think that’s a tad bit harsh? Aren’t stepsisters acceptable?” Pearl Necklace tried to reason, as she looked nervously at Flamingcrotchtits, who had risen from the table and was now pacing about manically. “Nonsense! Stepsiblings might as well be dirty socks! Only true siblings can ever know the fruits of overcoming society’s barriers to their forbidden love! Where is the challenge, the sheer triumph of pure love over the mere trifles of law and common decency with love between step-siblings? Absent! Where has it gone? Why, I will tell you the truth. It was never there! Little sisters and blood relation, these are inseparable. Now, allow her to retire from this meeting, and contemplate upon those words.” Exiting the club room, which was situated at the back of a particularly dingy alleyway of Canterlot, Rainbow Dash removed her ski mask, and wondered to herself as she trotted along remembering Flamingcrotchtits’ words of wisdom. Perhaps she could forge papers to make Scootaloo her blood relative? A mare could dream.