//------------------------------// // Interlude: A Dragon in Celestia's Court // Story: True Beauty // by bahatumay //------------------------------// Two guards, one a pegasus and the other a unicorn, stood guard atop one of the many walls surrounding Canterlot. As per usual, their rounds were for fifteen minutes and this usually made all the conversations bearable, as they were often cut short and the subject changed by the time their replacements arrived. Then again, this shift had started only three minutes ago. “I'm telling you,” the pegasus insisted. “Dragon invasion is a legitimate threat!” The unicorn rolled his eyes. “And I'm telling you it's more likely you'll drown in the reflection pool.” He paused. “Actually, knowing your IQ, that's rather likely.” “It could happen! Who knows when the dragons will get restless?” “They’re always restless. That’s why they fight each other and go for each others’ treasure hordes. Ponies don't have those, so we're relatively safe.” “Yeah, but what would you do if a dragon mob suddenly showed up?” “Oh, I dunno. Fight them off with my spear.” The pegasus snorted. “I’d pay to see that.” He looked out and his jaw dropped. “Dude, you’re about to get your chance…” It was now the unicorn’s turn to snort. “I’m sure.” “No, seriously. Look.” The unicorn sighed, but eventually turned and looked. When he did, his jaw dropped. “Sweet Celestia, is that a dragon mob?” “Yeah.” “Look at that one! That red one is huge!” “Yeah.” A pause. “We should probably report this, huh?” * * * To say it was surprising to see a horde of dragons entering the castle would be a massive understatement. Many stopped and stared at the fine decorations, wondering what exactly would possess a pony to spread their hoard out in paintings and on walls out in public where everyone could see it. The young rookie earth pony guard who had lost the little shove of war stood as bravely as he could in front of them. “Yes?” “We came for Celestia!” the foremost dragon roared. The guard gulped but raised his spear. “Yo- you’ll have to face the entire guard before you do,” he warned. “Oh yeah?” The dragon leaned back and inhaled, ready to turn this upstart guard into creme brulee, but he was stopped when a giant red claw came down and smashed his head into the marble floors. The guard’s jaw dropped as it finally dawned on him that the huge red wall behind the dragons was not actually a wall, but another monstrously large dragon. The dragon leaned down and met the guard’s blue eyes with his own large brown ones, eyes so large they dwarfed his room, and spoke in a voice that was more like an earthquake than words. “What that idiot meant to say was, ‘We have a formal complaint that must come before Celestia’.” The guard lowered his spear. “OK, but she’s prolly not going to be able to do too much. You’re dragons, she’s a pony, that kind of thing.” The dragon glared, making the young guard take a flinching step back. “We’re under her sun. We must obey her; therefore, she has jurisdiction over us. She will see us; or...” The threat was interrupted and qualified when a vase worth more than the guard's yearly salary shattered at the claws of a clumsy purple dragon. He quickly hid his claws behind his back and began whistling in the worst display of nonchalance anyone present had seen. The guard nodded briefly. “Follow me.” * * * The clerk looked up and his eyes widened briefly at the petitioners he saw, but then he relaxed. “I suppose it’s better than that Prince Blueblood fellow,” he said. He lit his horn and opened the book to the current date, and lifted the quill. “Please state your name and the purpose of your visit.” He was met with blank looks, which actually fit the dragons quite well. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he translated. This time he was understood. The white dragon pounded his chest. “Spar Kellsbane, and we’re here to demand the death of the purple horn pony for killing Garble by shrinking him, folding him up, and frying him up with parsley and then eating him for lunch!” That was… oddly specific. The unicorn brought the quill to his mouth. “Let's see if I've got this straight. You're here because a single pony killed a dragon, and now your plan is to come to a place filled with magical ponies just like her, and march right up to the castle where the pony who raises and lowers the sun every single day lives, and you're going to demand the death of her student?” He smirked. “Good luck. You’re on the list, Mr. Sparkles; please enter.” “I think I will,” Spar spat as he stomped in. “You’ll have to wait in line, though,” the clerk cautioned. “Waiting in line is for sissies,” a large brown dragon proclaimed. He tapped the pony in front of them on the shoulder. “Hey, we’re going ahead of you.” The pony fearfully nodded and quickly stepped aside. Of the many ways he wished to die, getting eaten by a dragon was not one of them. This process was continued until they were at the front of the line and standing right outside Celestia’s throne room. * * * Twilight groaned as she put yet another book aside. “I’m telling you, there’s nothing here I haven’t already seen!” “And none of it’s good,” Spike grumbled, turning another page. “‘Magic burns are fatal’, ‘dragon burns never heal due to their magical nature’; I tell you what, I’m getting depressed. What I wouldn’t give for a distraction right now…” As soon as those words had left his mouth, the door to their study room burst open. “Twilight Sparkle!” the entering guard called, looking around wildly before realizing she was sitting right in front of him. “Yes?” “Your presence is requested in the throne room immediately.” Twilight turned to Spike and grinned. “Well, there’s your distraction.” * * * “What is this about, anyway?” Spike asked as the two hurried along. “It's definitely not lunchtime, and I thought Celestia had court right about now.” Twilight shrugged and attempted to appear relaxed, but Spike could see her frame and tail twitching erratically as the full (imagined) impact of the request hit her. “I don’t know. Maybe I forgot an assignment or something. I don’t think it’s time for another Friendship letter… is it?” She looked over at the guard. “What day is it? What month is it?” The guard shrugged. Luckily for him, they had arrived, so he spared himself the dressing-down that Twilight had opened her mouth to give him. Twilight Sparkle and Spike had barely entered the throne room when suddenly they were taken aback. Dragons. Dragons everywhere. Many were tall as Celestia, and many more were even taller. Some were on two legs, others on all fours, but all looked large and rather angry. Twilight took a hesitant step back as she recognized some of them when she had followed Spike on his personal journey. She briefly wondered if she could simply wink out before she was noticed, but the door slammed shut behind her, drawing the attention of every single dragon in the room. Every. Single. Dragon. Well, except for Spike; but that’s because he quickly became a target of attention as well. “Look!” one proclaimed, pointing an accusing claw at Spike. “She keeps one of our own as a household slave!” Spike defiantly puffed out his chest. “I am not a slave!” he corrected proudly. “I am a number one personal assistant.” “Same thing! The purple pony must die!” The dragons began to charge, and Twilight was certain that this was how her life would end, but then… “Silence!” Celestia's voice stunned everypony (and everydragon) into still silence and made the dragons as one skid to a stop. Twilight Sparkle had never heard Celestia use the Royal Canterlot Voice before. It was quite unnerving, to be honest. Unperturbed at the shocked glances she was receiving, Celestia settled back down on her throne and then smiled. “There will be no killing in the throne room,” she continued in a perfectly cultured, quiet tone. She turned to the dragons. “As per your right, please state your grievances before the court.” “Uh…” The brown dragon looked around, as if hoping for clarification. “Why are you clowns here?” Spike translated in a stage whisper. This time he understood. “Revenge!” he proclaimed, smashing a claw on his chest. Celestia nodded. “On what grounds?” “Cheating!” he shouted. “Yeah!” another dragon added. “She used magic to kill Garble by shrinking him small, putting him in her saddlebags, and then taking him home and frying him up with parsley and eating him!” Twilight raised a hoof to protest that she had done no such thing, and besides that she much preferred oregano; but Celestia moved her hoof ever so slightly, silently telling her to remain silent. Twilight frowned, but lowered her hoof obediently. “I'm not sure I understand,” Celestia said, frowning slightly. “Under the dragon code...” “There’s an actual dragon code?” Spike blurted, surprised. “See?” a blue dragon spoke up, pointing indignantly at Twilight. “She keeps him in ignorance!” “Ignorance?!” Spike protested, feeling very insulted. “I bet I’m twice as smart as any of you bumbling morons!” That almost started another fight right then and there, but once again, Celestia intervened. “Enough!” she said firmly. “You may discuss your relative intelligences and the ramifications thereof on your own time. Right now, we are here to talk about your quarrel with Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight felt herself begin to sweat as every single eye in the room landed on her again. Celestia continued, “You claim she cheated, but under the dragon code, and I quote; the only rules when dragons fight are A, no scratching the eyes; and 2, no kicking your opponent in the happy sacks. Under your testimony, it appears she followed both of these rules, and thus her victory must be upheld.” This time it was Twilight who couldn't stay quiet. “Did you just say happy sacks? Does it really say happy sacks?” Celestia nodded as she turned to quietly explain. “The majority of transcriptions do, yes. Dragons are known for craftiness and cunning, not their eloquence and word choice.” She turned back to the gathered dragons. “But what about the rest of the victory conditions? Were they fulfilled?” “Other victory conditions?” one dragon whispered to his neighbor, who shrugged. Celestia nodded. “I quote again, ‘when a dragon is killed, the winning dragon gets to keep the hoards from both dragons’. Did Twilight take possession of Garble’s hoard?” “No, but it doesn’t matter!” a white dragon yelled. “She’s not a dragon!” “She’s not?” Celestia frowned. “There are no other definitions for a victor under the code. If a dragon is killed, it is only by another dragon.” There was a brief moment of silence, and then… “Huddle!” The dragons circled up and began (somewhat violently) discussing their options. “Wait, so…” Twilight struggled to wrap her head around this development. “That means…” “I think you’re technically a dragon now,” Spike whispered. Celestia made no movements, but the way one corner of her mouth turned up into a small smile indicated that Spike was exactly right. “Is that why knights went out to slay dragons?” Twilight whispered. “To become dragons?” “Mostly to inherit the hoards of the dragons,” Celestia explained quietly. “And to be honest, that story has somewhat changed over the years. Originally, it was ‘Nights’, as in ‘Nightwalkers’; Luna's followers dating from sixty or so BB. They were a fairly small group and somewhat ‘strapped for cash,’ if you will; so they hunted dragons to try and get some easy equity.” Twilight couldn’t help but feel that there were easier ways of making money than going out and fighting a dragon. After around fifteen minutes of discussion, five fistfights, and two broken noses, the dragons separated and rendered their verdict. “Fine. Come and get it, but it'll be gone by the time you get there.” “I don’t think it works that way,” Celestia said. “Under the code, she needs to take possession of it before others can steal it, otherwise it's not her hoard, and the terms of the code will not have been fulfilled.” Celestia's eyebrow raised. “Would you really go against the code?” The dragons looked around as what felt to be a small earthquake rumbled through the room. It was suddenly apparent that it was actually a growl from the large red dragon. He looked at each of the gathered dragons in turn, and their spines disappeared faster than that of a confronted noble. “Nope!” “Against the code? Never!” “Wouldn’t dream of it!” “I’d rather give up my own hoard!” And that’s how Twilight Sparkle ended up becoming a technical dragoness and inheriting a small fortune in gems.