"Oh, this mane, this MANE! It's perfect! This is so much better! I swear I had the attention span of a fly and my voice made me want to shoot myself whenever I opened my mouth which was nothing compared to the fact I never seemed to want to SHUT UP! Oh, wings too! That's certainly a plus!" crowed the mare who had taken the place of Pinkie Pie. She was looking in a mirror and playing with her mane. The Doctor stared at her.
"R-River?" asked Doctor. River rolled her eyes.
"No. Princess Luna. Of course it's me! Did you not notice the hourglass on my ass?" River turned to reveal an hourglass cutie mark. The mark of timelords. Or in this case, a pony/timelord hybrid.
"I'm sure he didn't take the time to stare at your flank while he was talking to you!" Ditzy blurted out. River snickered.
"Oh no? Sheesh, what kind of husband ARE you?" said River. Ditzy's entire body tensed.
"I-I'm sorry, just who are you?" asked Ditzy. River shook Ditzy's hoof.
"I'm River Song, the Doctor's wife." said River. The Doctor buried his face in his hooves. This was playing out like a cheesy soap opera. Ditzy shook all over and gulped.
"You're a very lucky mare." said Ditzy with all the sincerity in the Equestria. She nodded at River then stomped up to the Doctor and slapped him straight across the face. The Doctor put a hoof on his cheek and swallowed down a cry of pain.
"HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL ME YOU HAVE A WIFE?!" screamed Ditzy. The Doctor stepped back.
"Hey, I thought she was DEAD!" said the Doctor.
"Well since I now know I have absolutely NO chance with you, let's just kiss right now since it's NEVER gonna happen. Or suppose it's a "fixed point in time!" Ditzy ranted, blind with emotion. She pinned the Doctor against the wall and kissed him right in front of River. River just smiled, which irked Ditzy.
"I'm beginning to question your loyalty to me, Doctor." said River. Ditzy glared at River and stormed down to the basement.
Ditzy sat down in the basement. She was too angry to cry. She was angry with herself for being so soft. In reality she had no chance with this stallion, but she refused to accept it, which made it all the more painful. She heard a voice from a distance.
"Experiment 101285. You are experiment 101285." said the voice. She jumped to her hooves and looked around but the only other living thing in the room was Gummy the pet alligator. It stared at her with cold reptilian eyes. Ditzy shuddered. Animals always hated Ditzy. She remembered the time she delivered a package to Fluttershy's cottage. All the animals had attacked her and the bunny would have surely bit into a vein if Fluttershy hadn't pried him off Ditzy's neck. Gummy kept his icy gaze on Ditzy, and if looks could kill then Ditzy would have been nothing but a cold corpse.
"Experiment 101285. You are experiment 101285." said the voice. Ditzy looked at Gummy and froze. Something was translating him for Ditzy.
"You are a danger to Equestria. You are an abomination. You must be killed." said Gummy without moving his lips. Ditzy broke out in sweat.
"Wh-what? I Iove Equestria! It's my home, why would I be a danger to it?" Whispered Ditzy, feeling a bit silly she was talking to a baby alligator.
"You are an abomination. You must be killed." said Gummy.
"I-I don't understand!" breathed Ditzy.
"You must be killed." said Gummy.
"Please..." whispered Ditzy.
"ABOMINATION ABOMINATION ABOMINATION ABOMINATION ABOMINATION ABOMINATION" said Gummy.
"No! Please! Stop!" said Ditzy trying not to scream. Gummy said one more thing before he went silent.
"You will kill the Doctor." said Gummy. Ditzy grabbed the kitchen knife lying on the table and swiftly stabbed Gummy 7 times in the throat.