//------------------------------// // Busch Clash // Story: Runnin' On Empty // by AlwaysDressesInStyle //------------------------------// For hours the mood in Kurt Busch’s recreational vehicle had been joyous, as Kurt and Fluttershy watched the movies they had purchased at Wal-Mart the night before. Milo & Otis had gone over well with the pair, and they quickly found themselves rewinding and singing along to the songs in The Care Bears Movie, but in the blink of an eye the mood had soured. “Bambi’s mom,” Fluttershy sobbed inconsolably. “Maybe movie night wasn’t such a great idea after all,” Kurt thought as he hugged the yellow pegasus. “C’mon, let’s get out of here and do something fun.” “Fun? Like what?” “You were really enjoying singing, so I think I’ll introduce you to karaoke. This is Las Vegas, there has to be a bar doing karaoke tonight somewhere!” Kurt opened the door, and Fluttershy stepped outside. She paused as her eyes adjusted to the fading light of the evening. “What happened to your car?” “Oh, you didn’t like the Camaro because it was too loud, so I had someone from Chevy get something a little quieter for us. This is the Chevrolet Volt. Not only is it quiet, it’s also a fuel-efficient vehicle that mostly runs on electricity. That means it isn’t spewing toxic fumes into the environment and contributing to global warming. I figured you would like this one much better.” “It sounds perfect.” As they drove through the city Fluttershy found she was enjoying the car, but the gaudiness of Las Vegas completely appalled her. It reminded her too much of her brief career as a model. Photo Finish’s voice echoed in her head and she whimpered. “What’s wrong?” “Oh, um, nothing. I just don’t like bright flashing neon lights.” “Perhaps the attractions of Las Vegas aren’t really up your alley. But that’s okay, I know a place we can go.” Kurt turned off the Strip and headed towards the western part of town. “This here is Spring Valley. It was built over what used to be Stardust International Raceway. And this is Durango High School, where my brother and I attended classes.” “You grew up here?” “Sure did. I’ll take you past my old house.” Fluttershy relaxed as Kurt continued pointing out sights of personal significance to him. The car eventually came to a stop and Fluttershy’s could hear the barking of dogs. “Where are we now?” “The local animal shelter. My brother Kyle runs a program called Kyle’s Miles that helps dogs in shelters. This was one of the first shelters to join the program. They’re closed for the night but I figured this might be of interest to you.” “Very much so. Your brother must be such a wonderful person.” “He has his moments.” The mostly-electric car pulled out of the humane society’s parking lot and merged into traffic silently. The perk of having grown up in the city was that Kurt knew most of the local hangouts by heart. Sure there had been some changes over the years but thankfully he still had friends in the area. Heeding Fluttershy’s advice to not text and drive, he pulled over and tweeted to see if any of his followers could recommend a good place to do karaoke that wasn’t too crowded or too flashy. “Care A Lot is a place we all, is a place we all, is a place we all can go!” Kurt sang along to the theme song of The Care Bears Movie, which he had memorized after watching it twenty-seven times. Fluttershy watched from a dimly lit table in the very back of the bar. Going to karaoke night hadn’t been her idea, and she wasn’t sure exactly how Kurt had managed to pull strings and get an instrumental version of “Care A Lot” made on such short notice, but she was going to be as supportive of her friend’s new hobbies as best she could. Kurt stepped off the stage to a small round of applause and a few cheers, and returned to his table. “What did you think?” “You sounded nice.” Fluttershy didn’t want to lie and say he was ‘good’ but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings either. Nice was just such a nice word. There was a reason it was her standby answer. “Kurt!” “Oh, hey Kyle!” Kurt greeted his brother. “I take it you got my message.” “You’re embarrassing yourself, you’re embarrassing me, and you’re embarrassing the entire Busch family.” “Isn’t it great?” Kurt enveloped his brother in a giant bear hug. “This is what it’s like to love and tolerate. It feels so…so…nice!” “Get off of me you whacked out nutcase!” Kyle shoved his brother away. “I’m trying to help you!” “I don’t need help. You need Fluttershy’s help. She can show you the true meaning of friendship.” “Keep that creepy horse away from me.” “Your first lesson is Fluttershy can’t help you if she stays away from you!” He pushed the yellow pegasus toward his brother. “Fluttershy, this is my brother Kyle. He drives the #18 Toyota for Joe Gibbs Racing. Kyle, this is Fluttershy. She likes animals and abhors violence of any type.” “Great, we’re close enough to California. Dump the long-haired hippie pony on a commune and let’s get back to racing.” Fluttershy blinked. Surely this couldn’t be the same nice brother who was helping the animal shelter. “Um, excuse me. Are you uh, angry about something?” “Yeah, I’m angry about something. You turned my brother into a wuss!” “Oh,” Fluttershy said, staring at her feet. “I’m very sorry.” “You better be sorry you pathetic excuse for a horse.” “Hey! Fluttershy is not pathetic! Stop acting like a jerk, Kyle. This isn’t like you.” “She hypnotized you somehow, Kurt. I’m trying to snap you out of it. ‘Cause this isn’t like you, either.” Kyle continued averting his gaze so that he was never looking directly at Fluttershy. “Yeah she did. And you know what? I don’t care! It was the best thing to ever happen to me. You should try it.” Kyle Busch slipped on a pair of sunglasses as his brother turned his head towards Fluttershy. It was an unnecessary gesture as the shy pegasus was hiding under the table with her hooves firmly pressed over her eyes. “Please stop fighting,” she whispered from her spot on the floor. “We’re not fighting,” Kyle snapped at her. “We’re arguing. Fighting involves hitting. Like this!” Kyle tackled his brother and started hitting him. Kurt didn’t lift a finger to stop him. “Oh no! No no no no no.” Fluttershy fluttered her wings to steady herself as she got to her hooves. Her legs were shaking worse than Pinkie Pie hopped up on caffeine. She tapped Kyle on the shoulder. “Please stop hurting him.” “I see. Should I pick on someone more my size? Like you perhaps?” Fluttershy looked up at the racecar driver towering over her. At 6’1” he was of average height, but to a pony standing only 4’2” he dwarfed her. She gulped. “Um, no. I’m not really your size either.” “Yeah, I thought so. Coward.” “You call?” Kyle turned around to face the person interrupting him. “Uh?” “The name’s Delma Cowart. I ain’t never won a race, though I ain’t lost a party.” “Never heard of you.” “I was racing Daytona before you were born. Me and my boys here came here to try and find Pinkie Pie. I heard she’s the best at parties that ever there was. That her?” “Oh, no. I’m Fluttershy. But Pinkie’s one of my best friends.” “Good enough for me. You lay off the pony or you done brought yourself a world of pain.” “Yeah? You and what army, old man?” “Look, my boys and me came here to drink, party, drink, and maybe just kick some ass. We ran out of money for drinks two rounds ago.” “Um, if it’s okay with all of you, I really, um, hate violence. So could we all maybe get along? Please?” The others continued to ignore Fluttershy. “You know, if you want to party there’s a senior center down the block. They have a rec room and everything.” Delma’s response was to crack a pool cue over his knee. “Your mouth wrote some awful big numbers on that there check. I hope your butt can cash it.” Kyle took a swing but the retired driver dodged the blow. “You get one free swing. You walk away, you don’t get hurt. You swing again and I’ll drop you like the punk you are.” Kyle lunged at Delma once again but before he could close the gap Phil Barkdoll clunked him in the head with a bottle. The bottle shattered, soaking Kyle in light beer. While Delma and Phil demonstrated to Kyle that decades of experience in barroom brawling trumps swinging around wildly without connecting to anything, Morgan Shepherd and Lake Speed sat at the table with Fluttershy and Kurt Busch. “Um, hi?” Fluuttershy squeaked. She did her best to hide behind Kurt. “No need to be shy,” Kurt said, introducing the two drivers. “These are two of the nicest guys in all of NASCAR.” “Our partying days are long behind us. We only agreed to come along on this trip because we were hoping to have a deep intellectual discussion on the spirituality of your world. What are Equestria’s religions like?” Lake asked. “Oh, well, we don’t really have a religion, at least not anything like what Kurt’s described that you have here. Our princesses are pretty close to being deities but they don’t want to be worshipped. Princess Celestia moves the sun and Princess Luna moves the moon. But she turned evil and was locked in the moon for a millennium by the Elements of Harmony. But she’s back and she’s good again.” “But what about your creation?” Fluttershy blushed a deep red. “Oh, um, well, I was conceived by my parents while they were on their honeymoon in Maris, Prance.” “I don’t think that’s quite what Morgan meant,” Kurt did his best to explain the situation as Kyle ran past their table. “Maris, Prance?” Lake blinked at the name. “Would that be anything like Paris, France? Fancy city, well-known for cuisine, art, and a big metal tower.” “Um, yes. It turns out your world and our world have some, um, surprising similarities. Like Manehattan and Fillydelphia.” “Fascinating,” Lake said, as he started scribbling notes on a napkin. “Excuse me for one second,” Morgan said, as he tackled Kyle to the floor. “I never did much care for shoplifters. You’re planning on paying for those beers you drank, right?” “I’ll, um, ask Princess Celestia about our origins once we get back home. She’s been around for thousands of years, so if anyone can shed some insight into this it’s her. I’ll get a message to you somehow. I’m sure Twilight can figure out a way to get a scroll across whatever it is we crossed to get here. I’m still kind of hazy about that. One minute we were in Equestria and the next we were here on Earth.” Morgan returned to the table while Delma dragged Kyle back toward the poolroom. Lake handed Fluttershy a few pamphlets while Morgan rounded up Phil and Delma before they could break either Kyle or the bar any further. And before the police showed up. The deejay cut through the chaos announcing the next singer. “The brothers Busch are up with a little disco tune.” Fluttershy cringed. “Oh please don’t let it be Disco Dash. Such a raunchy song.” “Just a note to all you lucky ladies to leave your umbrellas at home. Because the Weathergirls are here with today’s forecast: it’s gonna start raining…” “Men.” Kurt and Kyle said as they first looked at one another and then at the screen showing the words to the song. “We’re not singing this.” “Oh, it’s not so bad. Sure it isn’t my first choice, but someone here obviously wants to hear us sing it.” “Someone here wants to embarrass us further than you’ve already managed to do. If that’s even possible at this point.” The song started playing and Kurt gave it his best shot. Kyle just glared at the audience. “Woo! Now kiss!” Kyle made a mental note of which audience member had shouted that. “Yeah, I think we now know which of these morons put us into the rotation for this song…” He turned to look at his brother who was too engrossed in singing to notice. “Well, I do anyway. And you’re still a blubbering idiot.” “Thank you! That was the brothers Busch….well, one of them anyway, with a rousing rendition of It’s Raining Men. Let’s have a round of applause!” The sound of clapping drowned out the sounds of Kyle beating the guy he suspected had roped them into singing that song. “You want to see some kissing? Here, how about my fist kisses you right in the lips? What’s that? You want another? Sure, that can be arranged…” After leaving the bar, Lake Speed turned their rental Mazda 2 hatchback in the direction of the speedway while Morgan attended to the cuts and bruises Delma and Phil had acquired in the brawl. They were sitting at a traffic light when the JATO-powered stock car blasted by in front of them, Pinkie Pie’s head hanging out the window to let her tongue flap in the breeze. “She really does know how to party. Dang, we’ll never catch her in this,” Delma said. “They have to go back to the track eventually,” Phil suggested. “Delma, get your head back in the car.” “This is the KARD 15 news team reporting live from Smokey Bob’s BBQ Pit & Elvis-Officiated Weddings. Karaoke night ended in a brawl as NASCAR driver Kurt Busch, obviously drunk out of his mind, started singing It’s Raining Men. His brother Kyle tried to snap him out of it, and when that didn’t work he hit some guy in the audience over the head with a folding chair, WWE style. Then some of the very drunken audience members who were enjoying Kurt’s singing jumped on Kyle… Trust me when I say they were obviously drunk – there’s no other way his singing could be considered enjoyable. Then the police showed up to put an end to the brawl, and it looks like Kyle Busch will be missing tomorrow’s race unless he posts bail. Kurt, if I could get a statement?” “I’m not drunk. I’m high on life thanks to Fluttershy! She showed me the way to love all mankind. And all ponykind! But you’ll have to excuse me, I need to go bail my little brother out of jail so Fluttershy can show him the meaning of life too. That is if I have enough money left after that donation I made to the World Wildlife Fund… But first I have something very important to say, and I want a nationwide audience for it.” “Well, I can’t promise you nationwide, but we’ve got Las Vegas covered.” “Good enough.” Kurt bent over and reached a hand out to the yellow pegasus hiding behind a potted plant. “Fluttershy, sweetie, I need you to come out here for a minute.” “Has the fighting stopped?” “Yes.” “Oh good.” She emerged from her hiding spot only to dive back into it upon spotting the camera crew. “Eep, paparazzi!” “It’s okay. I asked them to film this. I have something important I need to say and I need you to hear it.” “I can hear you just fine from back here!” “Now Fluttershy, is this any way to act? You should be ashamed of yourself for cowering in a corner.” “You…you’re right. My friends are always getting on my case about the same thing.” She trotted over to Kurt. “I’m listening.” “Are you rolling?” When the film crew nodded affirmatively, Kurt bent down on one knee and clutched Fluttershy’s right hoof in his hands. “Will you marry me?” “Um… no.” “No?” Kurt choked back a sob. “But….but…” “Umn, you’re a nice guy, but we aren’t even the same species. I’m not even sure this would be a legal union in either your world or mine.” “We’ll get the laws changed. Laws can’t stand in the way of true love!” “But I don’t…” Fluttershy mumbled the rest incoherently. “You don’t what?” “I don’t love you. Not like that. But we can still be friends. I would like that. Wouldn’t you?” “But…the wedding chapel, the Elvis impersonator… this is what you told me to do.” When the television station played the video, they added shattering glass side effects to go with the pained expression on Kurt’s face. The video quickly went viral, spreading from the local Las Vegas station to all of the channel’s affiliates around the country, as well as to YouTube where it amassed several hundred thousand views in a few short hours. By the start of the next day’s race it was close to ten million hits and second in daily views only to the latest Taylor Swift song. Fluttershy patted a hoof on Kurt’s arm. “Kurt, let’s be honest. You don’t really love me.” “Yes I do! With all of my heart.” “No, you don’t.” Fluttershy stared at her hooves, uncomfortably. “You’re confused right now. My Stare has brought about some feelings you’re not used to and you’re mistaking them for love. What you’re currently feeling is actually kindness, friendliness, peace, and tolerance. It’s giving you a new perspective on the world around you, and letting you view it as I do. You should take advantage of this opportunity and learn how to better yourself. For example, you could learn how to treat your family better, to show respect to your fellow competitors, and potentially even make some friends.” “I have plenty of friends.” “Yeah, as long as you’re buying the next round. Money buys a multitude of things, but it does not buy happiness, friends, or true love.” Fluttershy spent the next few hours consoling Kurt and vowing to never use her Stare on another sentient being ever again. While she couldn’t have foreseen Kurt falling in love with her because of her power, she could prevent it from happening again in the future. All she had wanted to do was make him stop shouting at her friends and see the error of his ways. She hadn’t wanted to cause him pain or heartbreak. She sighed, and it wasn’t like Kurt actually loved her. Once the Stare wore off so would his crush on her. Still, she hoped that he would forgive her when all was said and done and at least consider trying to be more considerate to others both on and off the track. But she was confident that any hope of that was now dashed. Fluttershy turned to look at the racecar driver next to her. He was brash, full of himself, and arrogant, but had the talent to back it up. Just like a certain rainbow-maned pegasus she knew. More to the point, it also looked as if he shared the same insecurities as the cyan mare. Perhaps all she needed to do was change tactics. So what did Rainbow Dash do to unwind? “Flying!” Rainbow Dash’s voice echoed in Fluttershy’s mind. She had a vision of Kurt jumping off a roof only to discover his lack of wings. She quickly thought better of that. What else did Dash like? “Racing!” “But he does that for a living.” She implored her mental Rainbow Dash to think harder. “Napping.” “Not exactly riveting entertainment.” “Eh, what do you want from me? I’m a figment of your imagination. And I need a nap.” “Anything?” Snoring was her only response. She sighed. “Something wrong, Fluttershy?” “Oh, um, no, Kurt. I was just thinking to myself. C’mon, I think it’s time we got out of here.” “Yeah, that’s probably a good plan. The crowd didn’t like my rendition of Barry Manilow’s Can’t Smile Without You very much.” “But I thought it was sweet.” “Tough crowd.” Joe Gibbs’ sleep was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. “Coach?” “Kyle? What are you doing calling here this late?” “Coach, it’s only 9:30. Anyway, the reason for my call is I’m currently incarcerated.” “Now what did you do?” “I was involved in a bar fight. I need you to get down here and pull some strings…” “Pull strings? This is your hometown. You’ve got more connections here than I do, kiddo.” “Yeah, see, that’s the problem. I have a lot of connections here. All of them enemies.” Joe put a jacket on over his Washington Redskins pajamas and climbed into his Lexus loaner car. It seemed like pulling strings was all Joe Gibbs ever did for Kyle Busch. M&M Mars wanted to drop him as their driver after the Ron Hornaday fiasco but Joe smoothed that over. There was the 128MPH joyride in the Lexus sports car that Joe had had to sweep under the rug. Kyle was constantly acting like a spoiled brat, but there was no denying the spoiled brat had talent. Unlike Roger Penske, Joe Gibbs had worked with this sense of entitlement previously in his years as a football coach. There were ways of finessing the situation and turning negative attributes into positive motivators. Still, it would be nice to have several hundred pounds of linebacker knock the stupid out of Kyle every so often. He walked into the police station and up to the front desk. “I’m here to post bail for Kyle Busch.” “Bail won’t be set until his hearing Monday morning.” “He has a NASCAR race to drive in tomorrow.” “He should have thought of that before he got rowdy in a bar. I don’t know what to tell you about the race, but you’re not leaving here with him tonight.” “Can I see him?” “Yeah, hold on.” A few minutes later Joe was led to a room with phones, and Kyle was waiting on the other side of a bulletproof glass partition. Joe picked up the phone on his side of the partition and Kyle did likewise. “I’m sorry to tell you that you’ll be spending the weekend in jail. They’re not willing to work with me in the least.” Kyle swore several times and finally composed himself enough to say, “In that case, I have a request. I want Jimmy Spencer to drive the car tomorrow.” “Spencer? I’m pretty sure he’s retired. I’ll get Elliott Sadler to run it, or maybe one of our developmental drivers could have a shot.” “I’m telling you, give it to Spencer. Get him on the phone, get him out to the track, and give him a shot.” “This wouldn’t have anything to do with his longstanding feud with your brother, would it?” “Of course not,” Kyle lied. “I think he got a bum deal when he was racing, driving inferior cars. I just want to see him have a shot in some good equipment for a change. Give him a chance to go out with a bang.” “Fine, I’ll call him up and offer him the ride. But if he turns it down I have final say in who drives the car in your place.” Joe knew from experience that it was prudent to pick and choose battles wisely. The odds that Jimmy still had a valid NASCAR license were slim and his disclaimer gave him full control over the situation if he didn’t. Or if Jimmy couldn’t find a way to fly across country in less than twelve hours. “Thanks. Tell him to stop by and see me when he gets to town.” “Don’t you have a girlfriend already, Kurt?” “Oh yeah!” “That’s who I told you to propose to. And since you’ve already got a ring, it would be a shame to waste it.” “But it’s sized for a hoof, not a finger.” “This is Vegas. We’ve passed half a dozen all night wedding chapels. Which means they must have all night jewelry stores too.” “Good point.” “Stop making excuses and just do it.” “You’re right, Fluttershy!” Half an hour later they had fixed the ring and Kurt was knocking on the door of his girlfriend's hotel room. Normally she would have stayed with him in the RV, but because Fluttershy had shown up she had decided to get a room for privacy. That, and she was ticked off at him for ignoring her in favor of that yellow winged floozy. The knocking surprised her. “Who is it?” “Kurt and Fluttershy.” “Yeah, what do you want?” “Will you marry me?” “Yes!” She pulled Kurt on top of her. “Eeep, I should probably get goi….stay right here and watch. You know, in case you um, need advice on how to be um, tender. Or something.” Fluttershy blushed as her wings puffed out. “Yes, that would be nice.”