Journal of Alan Ryves, first night after exodus
Where do I start? In the last twenty four hours I've learned incredible things about the way the universe works.
Magic is real.
The Fae of Shakespeare's writings are real.
I am one of their descendents.
And lastly, there exists a world in which the primary sapient life form is pastel-colored talking ponies.
My brain is literally full of fuck.
I guess I'll start with a summary. I picked up a book in the library the other day, this strange leather-bound volume written by someone claiming to be Merlin Ambrosius. The weird thing is, it kind of fell off the shelf from behind me while I was using one of the computers there. Anyway, it was half journal, and half spellbook, with one of the last entries being for a spell that was supposed to take me to Avalon.
I'm not sure if I did it wrong, or if perhaps some outside force shunted me here, but I ended up in a place called Equestria, inhabited by the afore-mentioned ponies. They're about a head and a half shorter than me on average, and there's more than just the bog standard earthbound types. Pegasi live in cities in the FUCKING SKY and unicorns are born being able to learn magic as easy as a human learns math. Looks like the ones that keep at it can do some really amazing stuff as well.
I wonder who the unicorn equivalent to Einstein is here?
Anyway, the first one I met was this unicorn mare named Vinyl Scratch (geez, what's with these names?) who told me she blew up her house earlier in the day, and my house appeared where hers had been. I figure, "what the hell, I have space" and let her stay here. She's fun, enjoys a good laugh, makes some decent music, and is pretty chill to hang out with. Far better than other room mates I've had before.
The second pony I met was this pink blur appropriately named Pinkie Pie. She kinda tackled me and then invited me to a party. I wish that was something that had happened more often on Earth.
By that point, I was starting to gather a crowd. A big one. I can talk when I'm prepared, but it was getting scary, just a bit. I managed to convince the crowd to back off by telling them I'd answer their questions at Pinkie's party later.
Vinyl and me derped around in the basement going through my brother's old audio equipment, since she had kind of blown hers up with her house. She seemed rather pleased with what she got. I'm just glad it's not collecting dust anymore, and I know Steve would rather it be given to someone deserving than just be sold off. I still wonder if those assholes who stabbed him will ever get caught?
Anyway we ate, watched some movies, laughed (Vinyl has a great laugh when she really gets going) and headed over to the party. I was mentally prepared this time, and I managed to not make a total ass of myself. Right when I was wrapping up the Q&A, this... I don't even know how to fucking describe the guy. But it was PUCK!
And goddamn, Puck tells me I've got fairy blood! And I can do magic! And I can do shit with TIME! Except of course, I still have to learn how. If I ever get the chance to really use it, I hope there's a steamroller nearby I can use to drop on somebody during my timestop. (ZA WARUDO)
So, after that, Puck puts his number in my phone and just leaves. Thanks, douchebag, it's not like I didn't have any more questions I needed answers for, like how in the fuck a spell designed to get me to Avalon takes me to magical fucking ponyland. It's not that I mind it here, it's just that unknown really bugs me.
Oh, I finally got a use out of that DDR machine I won a while back! And had my ass promptly handed to me on it by this blue pegasus. Rainbow Dash, I think her friend said her name was? She pretty much schooled the entire town it looked like.
I'm still reeling in my thoughts on everything that's happened today. This is a lot to take in. Writing it down seems to make it easier to piece together. Though, I'm still kind of
I had
I got kissed by Vinyl Scratch. A peck on the cheek, but still.
I'm glad I gave up on Earth.