//------------------------------// // Discovery // Story: Fallout: Equestria - Occupational Hazards // by thefurryrailfan //------------------------------// ----- The frigid sunlight shone through the slats of the window blinds, managing to strike me square across my eyes as it started it's slow ascent in the east. Blinded by it, I rolled myself over, grunting and stretching, my dampened mane slightly frozen in the air and sticking to the pillowcases. Goddesses, I don't know what's worse, the fact that it was absolutely freezing cold out, or the fact that that heat lamp gave off enough to make me get all sweaty even in the freezing cold. Yeah, I ought to ask Minty how to turn that thing off before we go to sleep... damn thing getting me all hot and flustered. Stupid heat lamp. Cricking my back and stretching, I tugged my worn barding on, having a bit of trouble with the pants - morning wood, why'd I have morning wood? I mean, I didn't even see that Balefire Egg explosion, unless... wait a tick, where was Minty? Oh, goddesses, don't tell me we actually -slept- together last night! I mean, he's a really cute stallion, but at the same time, something like that is something I'd actually kind of like to remember! Then again, he did seem concerned about getting back in touch with his coltfriend Cross-Stitch... oh, just forget it, of course nothing happened. That's right, he was looking at that memory orb when I blacked out. Peh, he probably went down to that energy weapons shop or something. Oooh, I'll give him something to consider if he blows all our caps on a big fancy new goop gun he'll never use because he'd think it wasteful, point-thirty inches of something, matter-of-fact... then he'd just scold ME for wasting ammo. Bah, screw it. I slipped on the battle saddle and Auto-rifles - you never know, somepony might want to start a game of knifey-bullety with me in this place - and looked out the window, taking a whiff of the cold, musty air. There was that smell of cooking meat again, as well as the usual smells of sulfur, sweat, and broken bathrooms. Ew. The door clicked shut behind myself as the key and tumblers worked together, keeping most everything safe - I'm sure if Minty came back before me, he could get somepony at the front desk with a skeleton key or something. It was akin to a morning in Mooscow, except, well, with less ponies about, and with more of the gloomy sky visible. Why weren't they settled more towards the interior of what remained of the city, anyways? And why didn't they even have so much as a wall around them, with the Wasteland being what it was? And where do you get glass that's -that- clear out in the wasteland? "Ow..." Rubbing my bruised muzzle gently, I stepped out into the open settlement that once was the Trotisk suburbs, sitting in the shadows of the remains of the large skyscrapers that still were standing after so many decades of decay. Man, it must have been especially eerie before the war, just seeing these giant, tall, collosal, vertigo-inducing... don't even think about it, you're miles away from NEAMO and Minty isn't going to strain himself by teleporting you that far just to get your pants washed. Eyes forwards and down, look at the ground, look at the shops, look at the ponies milling about. Taking a breath, I turned my attention to the partially-restored and otherwise refurbished and re-used building fronts along the main road, groups of mares, stallions, and foals all milling about them. Shops advertised as selling armor, food, repairing barding, ice-cold drinks, room & board, medical services, potions, second-hoof weapons... say, wasn't there supposed to be a shop around here that specialized with guns or something? I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to just take a look-see, and maybe find another balefire egg or two... or five. Minty didn't need -all- of these spark batteries, did he? These damn things were still pretty heavy. The big display above the fully-refurbished two-story corner shop made finding the place little short of a cakewalk, fancy neon lights proudly advertising 'Gun Runners' in huge glowing letters. A gust of warm air greeted me as I stepped through the door, a bell ringing above as I trotted forwards into... sweet mercy above, this was Gamma short of heaven. Rifles, machine guns, grenade launchers, grenade machine guns, anti-TANK rifles, missile launchers, rocket launchers, a Balefire Egg launcher too, all lined up on the walls neatly and held in place behind talisman-projected fields of energy. I could feel my jaw dropping in pure bewilderment, shaky on my hooves as I stepped forwards towards the stallion who sat behind the counter, fiddling with a .45-caliber submachine gun. He looked up from the gun, blinking a few times, myself still oggling all of the beautiful, pristine, wondorous weapons. "Ah, er, is there a problem, Flash-Bang? I thought you weren't going to be back from Turnpike for a while, after Pripytrot went silent." He scratched his head, myself returning the look of confusion to the eyes behind those small glasses of his and cocking my head. Flash-Bang? Why'd he think I was that pony? He shrugged and pushed himself back from the counter, falling to his hooves and fiddling with the door behind him with his magic. "Well, as long as you're back, got an order from Effin' Bee again. All packed and ready for delivery, looks like you're going back to Turnpike again. What the hay he does with all this plastic explosive and scrap metal is beyond me... the usual payment of five hundred with ammunition, of course, for when you return." Before I could even get a word of protest out, the large pair of courier saddlebags were strung across my back, the contents jingling and clinking against each other as they shifted around. Five hundred... five hundred bottlecaps? For just carrying all this crap from here to Turnpike? Goddesses, I didn't care if he thought I was a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shooting stars coming out of my eyes, I'll take it! The orange mare in my head blinked, seeming a bit bewildered as I turned and trotted out of the doorway of the shop. What, too specific? The bags hung heavy against my body, but at least left my wings free for flight - eh, that makes sense, couriers're probably mostly pegasi. Nopony else'd have the speed, or mobility options, and I'm pretty sure high explosives don't mix well with unicorn teleportation magic. Well, I mean, for unicorns that can do that... don't think I've ever seen Gamma teleport. Minty, hell, those augmentations probably would let him move the planet if he plugged straight into a reactor!... as long as he could handle the surge, anyways. For the sake of not wanting to destroy the wasteland again, let's not test that anytime soon, like, ever. I gave a good few flaps of my wings, nopony seeming to care as I lifted off and took to flight over the wasteland, some of them even giving waves as I passed over. Some towns liked pegasi, others hated them - well, the enclave, at least - with a passion... could the wasteland just make up it's mind already? A cold wind blew against my tails, pushing myself along towards Turnpike and the delivery point. I fiddled with the radio, grimacing at the quick whine of static that blasted in my ears before it was replaced with Tom's voice. Oooh, yay, a radio concert! I turned up the volume knob, just able to pick his voice out from the static. "Gooood morning to all of you fine stallions and mares, fillies and colts, and other whatever-you-may-be out there in the N-E-W! Short for North Equestrian Wasteland, the undisputed world's largest icebox this side of the Crystal Empire..." Ah-huh, alright, so not a concert... did Hi-fi let him do this morning's broadcast or something? "...Today's morning news reports come fresh out of Mooscow, as the caravans are back up and running in full force and the local Stable population is growing accustomed to life upstairs. Complaints of frozen flanks have been slacking off since Stable 34 was evac-ev-ev-er...relocated, yes, by a very brave pair of young stallions who, with the assistance of the gracious gryphon gatekeeper, helped lead the entire remaini-uh, population that decided to c-come... ah... right! A-anyways, um... goddesses... yanno, l-let's just put on some tunes. This is, ah... m-me signing off." Smooth save, Tom. Really smooth. An orchestral started up, followed by a full-blown public service announcement from before the war all on what to do in case fallout reached your area. Ah, well, for a place that always seemed to get fallout, it was knd of appropriate. Buh, just get Hi-fi back on... The road was mostly clear - marked, at least - easy enough to follow from the air. I left the radio on, mostly waiting for Hi-fi to come back on for broadcast, but also actualy kind of enjoying the PSAs and Civil Service alerts. Some great performers seemed to endorse hope and allay fears about the possibility of megaspell-scaled conflict, reminding everypony about buying war bonds and local civil defense booklets. 'Do your part for Civil Defense, Support our troops on the front lines, Everypony has a place in the Ministries,' all that kind of fun nostalgia. I guess it might've made sense ages ago, but it's all just a vague, distant memory now... unfortunately. Just as the fifth reprise of 'Wake up Equestria' played, the steel train cars of Turnpike passed underhoof, the sun high above the clouds. My wings were starting to ache - okay, maybe I'm not that great a courier - as I set down in the township, grunting and adjusting myself under the heavy bags. Effin' Bee... who in the name of Celestia was Effin' Bee? I flicked off the radio, looking around the town idly; it was sectioned off in two parts, the T-junction of the overpass acting as a sort of canopy for the shop district, with some train cars set up as residences and living areas. Ponies milled about both above and below the junction, foals playing in the snow and following behind their parents, shopkeepers and artisans showing their wares from side-layed hopper cars and out of repurposed boxcars... I never considered railcars could be used that way. Bah, look at the architecture on your own time, you've gotta find Effin' Bee. I trotted down the main section of the town, looking side to side at the groups of ponies who all milled about. Buh, alright, no taking somepony else's courier work by accident anymore when you don't even know who you're delivering to. I tugged at the heavily loaded bags again, trotting forwards into the path of a quite massive, grey-coat blue-maned... it was him. Oh, sweet Luna above, how did I forget about -him-. I'd never seen somepony so absolutely dreamy before, the way he kept his mane trimmed short, the absolute girth of his muscular neck, those soft light-blue eyes... I stammered a bit, sitting in the snow, looking up at him as he turned to face myself, extending a black, massive hoof. "Abh... buh... uh, s-sorry..." He helped me back up onto my hooves - ooh, I think that was my back going - myself stumbling a bit with the loaded saddlebags. He pased on a light smirk, his eyes seeming to light up, patting myself on the shoulder and nodding towards the residential areas. "Flash-bang never mentioned a brother. Name's Featherweight, or, 'F and B' if Firing Pin asks." He looked back at myself, the large parka he wore flapping idly in the breeze as I trotted alongside him, feeling a bit dwarfed by his large stature. F and B... Effin' Bee... I'm an idiot. Well, at least I found him and could make the delivery. With ponies like him around, I could imagine why this Flash-Bang was staying, though... I found myself giggling like a fool, a quick smack across the face from my left hoof rectifying that and prompting a look of confusion from the much larger stallion. I grinned and chuckled embarrasedly, looking off to the side. "Eheh, ah, I'm Twintails, nice to meet you... oh, right, actually have a delivery for you here, fifty pounds' worth of Composition 4 and scrap." I tossed the bags up a bit, feeling my legs falter as the cargo fell back onto my back with a heavy thud. Have I mentioned I do a lot of stupid things pretty often yet? I let off a little squeak, Featherweight blinking and looking down at my stumbling self, relying on the rubber padding on my front hooves that came with the barding to hold back a scream. He chuckled with that deep, gentle voice, coming to a stop as he looked back. "Heh, well, I can see why she didn't mention you now, not a courier, are you?" I stumbled forwards a few steps as he pulled up alongside, picking up the saddlebags off of my back and tossing them effortlessly onto his own, barely even flinching as the heavy things settled and my back stopped screaming at me. He rested a hoof around my shoulder, looking down at myself. "C'mon, I think Buzzy's got some fresh dinner cooking. You look like you could use the rest." I began trotting alongside him, returning a light smile, our breaths condensing in the frigid air as we passed by makeshift shacks and repurposed sleeping cars. "W-well, no... honestly, I don't even know who the heck this 'Flash-Bang' pony is. The shopkeeper at Gun Runner's - ah, Firing Pin, right? He basically just tossed the packs onto my back and sent me off before I even got a word out. And, ah... Buzzy?" I looked up at him, feeling my smile fade a bit, ears falling back. Oh, ah, well, I probably should have guessed... great, feeling like a foal again, because of a hunch on a crush on somepony who probably could have any mare he wants with little more than a flick of his mane and that soft, welcoming gaze from those beautiful eyes. Featherweight chuckled, turning down a road that led off from the main intersection and to the edge of the small town. "My little sister. Better mind yourself, she might pounce you like a cat, eheh..." Just a little sister? Well, that's a smile back on my face... not going to go ahead and assume that means he's automatically single, but that's still a smile nevertheless! "Well, if you aren't related to Flash-Bang, I guess it could be chalked up to just another wasteland coincidence. You honestly look almost exactly like her..." Well, huh. Weirder things have happened, I guess. We approached an old rail service junction, a caboose with faded and flaking paint sitting snowed in on the tracks, smoke rising from it's small chimney and bringing with it the sweet, sweet smell of juicy, warm meat. The snow around seemed to be cratered in lines, with damaged old wagons and other, um, red squelchy things filled with holes. I swear I've seen that phenomena before... I followed Featherweight into the spacious caboose, being greeted with a mass of red and green flying at me and pouncing myself to the floor, the large rifles on my sides bumping heavily against my wing joints as momentum is a heartless bitch. Large, red-colored eyes looked down at my face, uncomfortably close I might add, as the small filly... spread her wings? Abuhwha? "I dunno Featherweight, I think you could do better'n this for a coltfriend. We c'n use him for target practice if he shoots first, right?" Points to the little filly, she managed to both make me blush and lose me entirely in the span of about ten seconds. She hovered off of myself - so THAT's why she's named Buzzy - as Featherweight took off his parka and the cargo. I got back up to my hooves, shaking my head a bit and reaching back to rub at my wings, pushing the auto-rifles about. Yeah, something tells me they weren't designed to handle inverted flight. Buzzy landed, looking up at myself inquisitively, Featherweight looking over with his... strong, meaty flanks and rippled midsection freely showing in the caboose, massive wings dripping with condensation and reeking of power and strength, elegant in their size proportionate to the massive stallion that looked over me with those soft, beautiful eyes. "Ah, hey, um, are you alright?" He stepped forwards towards myself, everything starting to get a bit lighter-feeling as he placed his massive, strong hoof on the bottom of my chin, touching it gently to my nose and looking at it. He touched me... he touched me! There's my blood on his hoof and he touched me!! Oh sweet Luna above, could this day possibly get any better? Why's everything gone dark? --- There was a deep, throaty hum around myself. The frigid air bit at my wings as I peered down through the sight, hoof rested on a button. The ground passed by underneath; from this high up, even through a telescopic aim sight, equine forms were little more than blurs and dots on the ground below. The metal and glass cocoon around us rocked in the air, dull thuds hitting near us and causing the metal to ping with flak as the shells exploded nearby. Luna help us. A shell exploded right overhead, air starting to whistle through holes in the skin as we flew on, my gaze still fixed in on that crosshair in the bomb sight. A voice came up from behind me; female, exasperated, starting to freak out. "Are you going to drop that thing or what!? We've gotta get out of here, I dunno how much more she can take!" The craft rocked with an explosion, another hole being torn in her side. It began to roll, grunts and straining coming from the mare behind me as she fought to keep us upright. "Come on, baby, keep yourself up!" I let out a breath that condensed in the frigid air, forming a small cloud that was tossed around in the air currents that circulated throughout the cockpit. My target came into view; a large palace at the center of the city, flak batteries surrounding it and all firing upon us. Damn, that's actually impressive that they built shells that could reach us all the way up here. Shame it'll all be vaporized in about a minute. The crosshairs lined up smack in the center of the palace, a quick push of the button and sigh being the end of the first part of the run. a metallic thunk sounded as the payload fell, a sharp bank to the left getting us the hell away from what was about to happen. I looked up from the bomb sight, reaching up and pulling down the dark goggles I'd left on the top of my head, everything except for the sun taking on a deep amber hue. Everyone held their breath, waiting those agonizing seconds. The cockpit filled with a brilliant flash, a heat pulse running through the holes in the craft as the weapon detonated. A second rumble over the engines filled all our ears, before we were rocked by the blast wave that followed, a deep metallic groaning and crunching sound being heard. The mare piloting us screamed, the craft pitching about and shaking violently around all of us. There was a constant pinging sound, followed by a gut-wrenching squelching as the body of our navigator was struck and thrown by one of the manual cables swinging up and beheading him. I scrambled up from my position in the seat, looking at the pilot mare just in time to see as her body was crushed by the control shaft smashing forwards into her, illiciting a horrible scream from her writhing self. The entire craft pitched downwards, and I was thrown against the front canopy, looking down at the planet below; deathly fires raged, and smoke billowed up, the dark, black clouds coming ever closer. A dull thudding sound could just barely be heard as the craft began to break apart under the stress, a heavy object landing against myself, seeping warm juices from the base. I turned myself around, picking up the fuzzy, warm object, staring at it with a look of horror on my face; the white coat, red eyes, teal mane and metal-coated horn... I held Minty's severed head in front of myself as the cockpit seperated entirely from the rest of teh fuselage, plummeting towards the ground. The metal cage kept moving as the glass smashed, cutting deep into my back and driving clean through my body, tearing deep gashes in my flesh and pulling my wings apart. The metal horn seemed to glisten as it drove itself into my chest, peircing through to my lungs and fixating itself there, leaving me conscious, writhing, and unable to do anything except watch. The rest of the flaming, firey wreck followed not far behind, heading straight for myself, the cockpit screaming as it was rammed through by the fuselage, exploding with the remainder of the fuel aboard it. There's a metaphor for something in here, somewhere. --- I woke up with a scream, greeted with the sight of Featherweight looming over me, and Buzzy hovering idly beside. They both shared looks of surprise, staring at myself as I panted heavily, dropping my wings and slowly regaining my composure. I rubbed at my muzzle - crusty blood, hurting nose, noticeable tightness in my lower armor... smooth, Twintails. I shuffled myself to a sitting position, rubbing at my nose to clear the dried fluid from it, sniffling in the cold air. Featherweight and Buzzy both slid beside myself, Buzzy carrying some emptied healing potions in her mouth. "You ain't gonna survive for long in this family if you pass out everytime your special somepony touches you, yanno." Somepony really ought to tell her how blunt she is sometimes. I stuttered, blushing, glancing over at Featherweight. He shared a surprised expression with myself, the faintest hints of blush coming on his cheeks, before looking down at Buzzy sternly. She trotted along the bed, looking up at both of us. "What? Inn't it obvious?" "B-Buzzy, why don't you go check on the food. Don't pester, he's obviously got a lot to deal with as is." She eyerolled, hovering up off of the bed and moving to the door, crossing her forehooves. Featherweight took a step in her direction, and she opened up the door, letting off a huff and pausing. "Come on now, let us be." I watched the puffs of air condense infront of myself, Buzzy looking back from the doorway and puckering her lips, darting through the opened door and shutting it behind her. Featherweight glanced back at myself, clearing his throat and looking around the cabin with a light blush. "A-ah, pff, little sisters, am I right? I-I mean... eheh..." He passed on a weak grin, rubbing at the back of his head idly. I tugged at my barding a bit, easing off of the bed, looking over at him with a similar expression. "Eh, I'm sure she's just, ah, just teasing. I mean, like, you're not... are... you?" I gnawed at my lower lip, Featherweight showing a blush on his large cheeks, letting off a gentle huff and looking out the window. A door somewhere opened and shut, hooves trotting around on the floor, the large grey-coated stallion looking down, his breath condensing on the window that opened to the wasteland beyond. I trotted up beside him slowly, hesitantly lifting a hoof up, standing there for a moment. He looked down at myself, a small flicker of a smile spreading across his face, his head gently nodding forwards. "You're not exactly the most subtle of ponies, but I think you already knew that. C'mon, Buzzy ought to have lunch ready by now." He gently wrapped a hoof around my neck, rubbing at my mane as we stepped towards the door. Buzzy hovered up as we stepped through it, looking over at myself in confusion and rubbing her head. Featherweight continued on over to the stove, picking up a fork with a wing and picking up the juicy-smelling slab from the metal pan. "Just got a message for you from your twin sis, apparently somepony in a tin can was spotted comin' out of your room in Trotisk last night, carryin' Sugar Rush's twin brother. You know anything about that?" I stalled, blinking a few times, trying to comprehend. Twin sister? Twin brother? But, only Minty was with me last night, and he wasn't there this morning. Somepony in a tin can... Oh, fuck me with a fuel rod, I -knew- there was something off with that stallion at the old test site! "Mmh?" Featherweight looked up from the cooking pan, setting the fork down, myself looking frantically around. My rifles, where were my rifles!? Buzzy hovered out of my way as I darted around the place, Featherweight reaching out a hoof and grabbing onto me. "Hold up there speedy, what's going on here?" I panted for a bit, taking in a breath and holding it for a moment. Letting it out in a sigh, the larger stallion looked down at myself, my eyes glancing around the area. "My friend Minty, augmented unicorn, Stable 76, he wasn't in bed this morning. I thought he was just up at the energy weapons place, but... ah, ponyfeathers, I should've known we got away from that pony in the power armor way too easily!" I grunted and smacked my hooves against the sides of my head, grimacing and trying to concentrate. Power armor, did he mention who he was working for or what he was doing out there? "Think, thinkthinkthink... my rifles, where are my rifles?" I stood myself up, Buzzy hovering over with the two long automatics, if just barely. Man, talk about some strong wings. "Power armored pony... have an energy weapon on him, seem kind of stuck-up?" Featherweight tapped a hoof against his chin as I fitted the rifles and saddle on, glancing over at Buzzy. I nodded, tightening the straps with my mouth and cycling the bolt once, picking up the bit. "Buzzy, get your pew-pews and load them with the AP rounds, looks like we're going after Steel Rangers. Stealing weapons is one thing, but pony-napping? Really?" He looked back to myself, resting a hoof on my shoulder as Buzzy saluted and hovered off with a wide grin, rumagging through an upper closet. We stood there for a moment, looking into each other's eyes, myself removing the auto-rifles' firing bit from my mouth and looking back up to him. "He's just a friend, I-I mean, we haven't-" Featherweight moved his hoof to my lips, silencing me, looking down with a smile. I blinked a few times as he returned a soft gaze from those big blue eyes, his short mane floating a bit on a small breeze from the stove. Buzzy's searching continued in the background as he glanced up, grinning and dropping his hoof, leaning forwards and giving me a light peck on the cheek. I stuttered in surprise from the gesture, my eyes going wide as he chuckled and righted himself, a small green pegasus hanging upside-down from the upper section behind him. "I -so- called it!" --- I'd managed to get a head-start towards where the tin can ponies were camped out, some old bunkers or facility up north of Trotisk. Featherweight and Buzzy were following behind, something about him having to find his own battle saddle for the occasion - I'm sure he'll be able to be here in no time. Ooh, I do kind of wonder what kind of armament he'll be packing, though. For such a strong stallion, I wouldn't be surprised if he could dual-wield missile launchers or something, and carry Buzzy on his back with her own guns. No I'm not beating around the fact that the other reason I left in such a hurry was that that little filly wouldn't quit making us both blush whenever I was around Featherweight. I fiddled with the radio, being just barely able to pick up Hi-fi's signal. "Good afternoon, wasteland! Sorry about our issues with the morning broadcast, somepony thought that DJing was easy and decided against waking me up. At the very least I hope he learned something from it!" Chuckling weakly, the sounds of grumbling could be heard over the mic, followed with a light yelp of pain. Stick to satire, Tom. "Anyways, news time! The first new security robots have rolled off the lines at the old RobronCo facility, going for a surprisingly inexpensive price of 1000 caps each! Get yours before the next time the cold invades your home, heheh. Happening in the rest of the wasteland, reports of ponies wearing tin cans have been spotted along the Trotisk-Mooscow highway. I dunno about you, but I'd probably make sure to keep a good supply of 'nades and AP rounds loaded if I were planning on traveling in the next few days. Anyways, I think you've listened to me babble on long enough, let's get some music going! First up is an oldie from Tommy, something called the MLF Lullaby. Kinky bastard, haha~" Alright, yeah, that got a snicker out of me. I turned the radio up, giving my wings a snap, flying low over the small road that supposedly wound over to the facility. "Sleep, baby, sleep, in peace may you slumber. No danger lurks, your sleep to encumber! We've got the missiles! Peace to determine, and one of the limbs upon the buttons will be gryphon." I found myself idly humming along, sliding the rifles' bit into my mouth as the road passed alongside an icy river. Buzzy said that the locals in Trotisk called this place Steel Creek for whatever reason, was the name for it before the war. Had an entire salvo of Zebra missiles sent against it, all managed to miss, mostly. The local population of Steel Creek probably sure knew it, though, when their skin started peeling off... or when they were reduced to ash and shadows. The road wound away as the ice opened to a wide, flat expanse, something my Pip-buck seemed to identify as 'Horseshoe Basin'. Honestly, it certainly didn't look too much like a horseshoe. I eased myself down onto the ground, looking warily about the snowdrifts that seemed to pop up along this section of road. I'd rather -not- be blasted out of the sky, thank you very much. The cold wind blew off of the frozen basin, whistling through the snow dunes and chilling my face, everything aside from that and the radio seeming eerily silent. A sudden discharge of a red laser flying over my head and melting the snowy ice that'd accumulated in my mane was ample notice that I wasn't alone. I dove behind a snowbank, digging myself in, hearing the sound of metal impacting metal and annoyed chatter over the icy wind. With a hoof, I pressed the bolt back on the rifles and checked the chambers; loaded with the AP rounds, good, tin cans ought to be no trouble. A voice boomed over the wind, myself hugging the snowbank, pulling the bit into my mouth in the meantime. "Drop any weapons you have and come out with wings at your sides, and we won't open fire! State your business in this area." Friendly. Well, better than raiders, and I don't have another balefire egg to throw at them, anyways. But, they still took my friend... "You have ten seconds to conform, or we will open fire!" I huffed out a breath, spitting out the bit and leaning back against the top of the snowbank, peering over it. "I'm here for my friend! Unicorn with a metal horn, peppermint on his flank, one metallic leg. Did you take him last night?!" Right, I'm outgunned, outnumbered, and probably out-armored, but I'm not going to make myself an easy target. Lasers -really- hurt. Oh, when's Buzzy and Featherweight going to get here!? "I don't want a firefight to go down as much as you do, just give me him in one piece and we'll leave!" "What are you talking about? Nopony's even been to Troti- ah, nopony's left since... since... nopony's gone anywhere! Go away! Nopony's home!" Another clang of metal. Must be a new troop or something, because if this is what they had for their best... Minty would be so embarrased to have been captured by these luddites. A dull screaming came in from behind, turning into a roar as I looked up, half expecting to see a crumpled, flaming fuselage roaring towards me. I think my pants sighed as I spotted Featherweight screaming in with a pair of absolutely massive guns at his sides, Buzzy holding steady a pair of small submachine guns while she sat against the ammunition containers on his back. Oh, this was gonna be bad... especially with my nose bleeding again! The machine-cannons at his side opened up, tearing large craters in the snowbanks and scattering the surprised - and honestly terrified, I would think - Steel-plated ponies. I jumped out and lifted up behind them, strafing the ground as they hurried and ran back along the road. Featherweight and Buzzy hovered by, waving over at me, the pair of massive machine guns smoking in the cold air. I rubbed my muzzle, sniffling in and waving back, hovering over. "They've definitely got Minty. You think we're clear for an aerial assault? I mean, ah, they do have those lasers and goop guns and things... but, hot damn..." I blinked a few times, my attention falling to the pair of massive drum-fed guns that were attached at Featherweight's sides. Those things practically could fire smaller guns! And they were loaded with explosive bullets, too?! If I were a stronger pony... "Steelponies ain't the most manuverable in those tin cans, but their guns are. We gotta come in low 'n fast if we want to catch 'em and keep in one piece. Maybe we try not to kill any so they don't try to completely kill us, eh? Just warning shots?" Buzzy looked between the both of us, Featherweight nodding with his battle saddle's bit in his mouth. She did have a point, no casualties means that they maybe won't do anything worse to him than what they've already done, if they've done anything. "'sides, that'd probly be a new record for shortest relationship ever." How can such a little filly make big stallions blush so hard? --- Right... that was a LOT more than just a few ponies in tin cans! Featehrweight and Buzzy were weaving through laser fire overhead, the armored ponies having set up rather heavy defenses at the front of what I thought was just a tunnel. I managed to plink one enough times in the right spot to get his suit to fizzle out - funny, you'd think these things were just robots, if they didn't scream so much when you got a lucky rebound off of the ground and narrowly avoided turning them into a mare. Just need to hit the right spots. lasers scorched the air overhead as Featherweight opened up with his cannons on a mounted laser minigun-thing, the pony operating it having just enough time to turn tail and get blown off of the platform by the high explosive shells. I made another bolt skywards - owowowow, laser burns, laser burns! - diving onto the second mount and spraying it with the regular rounds, watching as it's operator jumped clean off of it. I landed with a thud against his side, sending him rolling onto his back. Sheesh, this stuff made ponies into turtles! "P-p-please, don't kill me! I-I have ah, a wife, and, and foals!" He whimpered from behind his suit's facemask, raising his hooves in surrender. Well, he did at least miss a few shots... but they still had Minty in their armored facility. I glared down through the visor, standing over him for a moment, raising a hoof - my back hoof - into the air. The orange mare in my head blinked a few times, bringing her stetson off of her hay-colored mane and holding it infront of her face. She cringed and covered her eyes as the forceful kick had that father singing alto, his forehooves reaching for his crotch as I jumped over him and charged for the ponies in the trenches ahead, tackling one to the ground as Featherweight went for another strafing run. A mare's voice rose over the battle, if just barely, the sounds of explosions and gunfire almost drowning it out. "What is the meaning of this!? Everypony, STOP! CEASE FIRE!" I was just about to add another pony to the Writhing Choir when a whitish-teal film of magic encompassed my body, lifting me up out of the trench and over to the enterance. Come on, don't make me an easy target, that's just cheating! I struggled in the field, hearing the gunfire start to fade, the stattaco of Featherweight's and Buzzy's guns dying as the wind filled the wasteland again. The earth seemed to shake beneath me - or, wait, that was me shaking... ooh, stars - as I was levitated to the ponies standing at the end of the tunnel, shaking my head a bit and bringing them both into focus. One was a unicorn mare adorned in heavy robes, and the other... "...Minty?" ----- “Ugh… my head…” I groaned as I started to gain consciousness again. I tried to put a hoof to rub my head, but I found something was holding it down. I blinked several times, my vision returning to me slowly. I found myself lying on a large metal table that was tilted up. My legs were bound to the table by metal rings, except- My eyes widened as I looked left. Where was my leg?! What happened to my leg? I wiggled my stump of a left leg in panic. Well, at least it healed over well. I tried to pull my legs free, but the bindings were too tight. My armor was missing as well, the cold metal pressed firmly to my back. I focused as I tried to call upon some magic to undo the latches. Nothing more than sparks flew. My panic grew. My horn… shit, did they take my horn too? My heart was pounding as a door in front of opened. The circular lock spun open, the door rising up into the ceiling. A teal pony with a mix of light blue and green mane walked in. She was wearing a dark blue robe and her mane was tied back in a ponytail. She trotted up to me holding a clip-board in her hoof and a pencil in her mouth. “So, how’re you feeling?” She asked, scribbling something down onto her clipboard. I just stared at her, confused and irritated. She looked up from her clipboard, raising an eyebrow. “Well?” “Oh, you know,” I said. “A little stiff, kind of hungry, and wondering what the hell is going on!” I almost shouted, but I tried to retain my composure. After all, if she was to get angry, I’m not exactly holding an advantage. The mare only scrawled down my response before looking back to me, as if expecting another response. “Seriously, where is my leg? Unless you’re planning on giving me an upgrade, I don’t approve of this.” The mare grinned a little. “Your leg contained technology unfit for civilians. Section 23B, Article IV of the Codex states we are to reclaim any technology, functioning or not, deemed to pose a threat to the user, others, the wasteland, or civilization as a whole.” She said. “Your horn was also considered contraband, or at the very least worthy of study. The remaining technology is planned for removal in a few minutes.” The bottom of my stomach fell out. They were planning on tearing open my skull? I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. “B-but… that’s fatal!” My mind went to producing images of scalpels, wire cutters, and nope, didn’t need those ideas. I struggled in my bindings, the mare wheeling in a gurney. She was followed by another pony in robes, this one a unicorn. The teal mare stood over me as the unicorn’s horn began to glow. I felt the bindings around my hooves open. Adrenaline, don’t fail me now! I quickly sat up and punched the mare in her temple. She gave a cry of pain before falling to the floor. I felt the unicorn lift me into the air, to pin me into the gurney as quickly as he could, but he didn’t bother to keep me away from his face. One swift kick in the jaw and he fell to the floor. I stood over them, panting. Ok… ok, calm down, figure something out. Ok… one leg short, running is out of the question. I’m not going to be able to sneak around. I looked down at the stallion’s robes. Well… it might not fool everyone, but it’d better than nothing. I pulled his robes off, slipping them over me. I pulled the hood up over my head, covering the nub of my horn that hadn’t been torn off by these madmares. I looked down the hallway, various exposed pipes were running along the ceiling and under the grated floor. Thankfully it was empty… first things first, find my leg. I turned left down the hall, the claustrophobic passage not helping my nerves. I closed the door behind me, lest the obvious unconscious bodies give me away. I came across another room, and after confirming there was no one hanging around in it, I slipped in. The room looked like an old conference room, a large, round, wooden table sat in the middle, surrounded by chairs. There was a large, tattered flag hanging on the wall. It contained a sun hovering over a moon, twin Alicorns, one white, the other a dark blue circling it. The darker one seemed oddly familiar, but my mind was quickly pulled back to reality as I heard footsteps clanging down the hallway. I slipped into the corner, praying the pony passing by wasn’t going to check on the others. As I stood in the corner, I noticed a gleaming pole leaning against an open locker. The pole itself was simply well polished hardwood, but the top was adorned with a golden head of a unicorn. Upon closer inspection, it looked similar to the unicorn from the memory orb, albeit with a ridiculous grin on its face. Well, this is better than going unarmed. I grabbed the cane, using it partially as a walking stick. I peered down the hall again before sneaking down, hoping I could find my leg soon. I crept through, thankfully not running across anyone else. I was honestly surprised those who were planning on tearing the wires out of my brain hadn’t been alerted yet. I passed by a few rooms, one of which looked like a small library. Come on, there had to be a workshop or vault around here. As I walked through the hallways, I came across a room filled with broken tech. A few other ponies in robes were standing over a large weapon. I scanned the room, and my mood immediately lifted. In a large glass container imbedded in the wall, my leg and horn were being held. I glanced over at the ponies in robes, one reaching for a wrench. I snuck into the room, doing my best to stay hidden. I slipped over to the container, a keypad imbedded in it. Ugh… if my horn wasn’t on the opposite side of the glass I could hack this. Guess stealth isn’t an option now. I lifted up the cane in my hoof, shifting my weight to lean against the wall so I didn’t fall over. I swung the cane into the glass, causing it to shatter and an alarm to go off. I swiped my leg and horn from the cabinet as the two scribes looked up in surprise before their eyes landed on me. I jammed my leg into the mechanical clamp, feeling it close over, the large wire plugging into the one embedded into leg. The scribes each pulled out a laser pistol. Well, I can get my horn later. I dashed out of the room, holding my horn in my teeth. I charged through the hallway, the robed ponies hot on my heels. As I ran, I saw the stallion I’d stolen the robes from walking out of the room, wheeling the gurney in front of him. Thank you, sir! I leapt onto the cart, paddling against the floor with the scepter. I wheeled down the hall, the robed ponies firing at me, a couple ponies in power armor joining them as I sped down the passage way. I leaned to the right and let the bottom of the cane scrape along the floor, attempting to turn along with the hall. The gurney started to lean too far, and I used the staff as a vaulting pole, the gurney falling to block the hall. I galloped ahead, the ponies behind me firing and quickly moving the gurney out of the way. Ach, that was my ear! I ran through a room of computers, one old pony in red robes jumping out of the way of the parade of energy wielding ponies. As I ran through tunnels, more ponies started to follow and the lasers and plasma getting harder to dodge. I turned into a room with two guards standing on either side of the door, an older mare sitting in the center. I skidded to a halt, the ponies behind me ceasing their fire. The mare stood up from her chair. She was wearing purple robes, but they appeared to be much more elaborate than those of the ponies in the workshop. "What is going on?" She demanded. The teal mare who I'd first seen stepped forward. "The outsider managed to escape while we were attempting to bring him to study." She said. The purple robed mare nodded, waving a hoof to dismiss the crowd. All aside from the teal mare and the stallion from who I'd stolen the robes obeyed. The older mare sat back down behind her circular desk. "Nova... did you follow protocol?" The mare asked. The younger mare looked away, her ears flopping down. The older mare sighed before turning to me. "Well, outsider, now that you've seen our inner workings and I doubt you have a good impression with us, why shouldn't I have the guards proceed with the operation?" She asked coldly. My already racing heart sped up, sweat starting to bead up. "W-well," I began, spitting my horn into my hoof. "Obviously you have a fascination with my... tech." I took a breath, trying my best to calm down a bit. "But, wouldn't it be better to study a live... uh, specimin?" I asked. The mare nodded slowly as the stallion trotted over and jabbed my side. I started to take off the robes as the mare simply said, "A fair point. Go on." I handed the robes off to the stallion, who took it roughly. He also took the staff from me before turning to leave. I shifted a little, trying to collect my thoughts. "You don't know exactly how these work." I said, motioning to my horn. "Tearing out the wires would only give you a vague idea, and you couldn't put them to any use after studying them." The mare nodded again, and I gained a little confidence. "Suppose I allow you to run a couple tests on me and afterwards I'm let out of here. With my armor and weapons." I said. The mare thought the idea over a little before speaking. "You have a deal, outsider, but bear in mind you will not be allowed to speak of this bunker's location beyond its walls." I nodded and the mare looked to Nova. "Take him for testing, but leave him alive." She said. Nova immediately brightened up. "Yes mo- Elder Quazar." She started to lead me down the narrow halls of the bunker. "You have no idea how glad I am, I was worried you'd be killed for sure!" She said excitedly. I cocked my head to one side, confused. "Wait... but you were the one who was going to take me to be killed in the first place." I said. Nova grimiced a little as we took a right down another hall. A few more ponies were trotting around in power armor and robes... I think I even spotted the one we ran into at the Megaspell testing facility. "Well, those were orders. Believe me, if I had the ability to convince the Elder, there's no way you'd even been on that table in the first place." She said. We turned into a small room with various device lying on tables. She walked to one with a small needle protruding from one end. "Here, place your hoof next to the needle." I complied, Nova pressing a button which shot the needling quickly into and out of my hoof. "Just a DNA test, more a formality than the others." She then led me to a small machine with several wires and nodes spread out along side it. "We normally use this one to measure brain activity to see if somepony is lying. I hope whatever you have in your head won't blow the circuitry." She giggled, starting to place nodes in various spots on my temple and forehead. I noticed she seemed a bit too... loving with the movements, for lack of a better word. As if she was worried she'd press to hard down and hurt me. "Alright... try levitating the pencil around a bit." She said, removing one from her robes and placing it beside the machine. I focused, a little surprised my magic reserves still had some energy remaining, and an aura appeared around the pencil. The machine started to tick quietly, paper flowing from one end as several needles sketched lines on it. I made the pencil rotate, fly left, right, up, and down as Nova studied the paper. "Well... I have to say this is... interesting." She said, a light blush appearing on her face. If I just found another pony as obsessed with machinery as much as me, Cross might have a little competition! We continued, levitating larger objects, performing more complex acts, and I demonstrated how I recharged my magic supply, Nova taking notes all the while. "Well, that looks like everything for now. Let's check the DNA information to see if there's anything you need to correct. It can be a little unreliable sometimes." She said. We walked over to the machine that had taken a sample of my blood, a new paper with digital lettering having printed itself out from the side. Nova tore off the paper, scanning it. "White... blue mane... unicorn... It all looks correct. Hang on.... there's a relative that's popped up in our databanks." She said. I raised an eyebrow. Was this the machine acting up? Nova scanned the paper repeatedly. "No... this... but... no..." Her eyes grew wide as she scanned it again. "This says... your grandmother was Elder Quazar's mother... You... I..." She didn't need to finish the statement for me to put the pieces together, my eyes widening a bit too. She stood still for a moment, horrified. Then suddenly said loudly. "I was trying to sleep with my cousin? Ew, ew, ew, euch!" She said, dropping the paper. I stepped back from her, both of us freaking out a bit. My cousin tried to hit on me! She didn't know but... gross! As we freaked out though, a resounding "boom" echoed through the bunker, throwing each of us off balance a bit. "What was that?" I asked, worried. Nova paused for a moment, before drawing her pistol. "I think we're under attack! And whoever it is has large artillery!" I gulped, hoping Twintails hadn't just decided to start a one colt suicide run to get me. "Come on, let's get your stuff!" She said, running out of the room. I ran after her, power armor clad ponies rushing past us towards, presumably, the exit. We entered an armory, Nova punching in a code on a locker. It opened up, revealing my gear. I grabbed it, slipping it on as Nova ran to an intercom. "Mom? Mom, I've got Minty... the outsider... it doesn't matter how I found out his name, but we're getting his stuff, he's going to help us defend the attackers. Yes, yes I'll be careful." She paused for a moment, blushing, before whispering. "I love you too." She took her hoof off the intercom button as I finished sliding on my armor. I was about to draw my rifle when I noticed another, large, wrapped up object in the locker. I was sure I didn't have anything on me this big when I was in the hotel... I pulled it out, letting the fabric, which seemed very similar to the robes worn by Nova, if not as elaborate, slide off. My heart practically froze. I had a full blown, Mark IV Tesla Cannon in my aura. I squeed, lifting it onto my shoulder. I buckled a bit beneath its weight, but just the feeling of its smooth glass and exposed wires running along my neck. Ooh, I think I'm in love. Along the back end was inscribed a fancy "i", and whoever it meant, I thanked them to the very heavens for this gun. Nova looked back at me, her expression turning to one of surprise immediately. "Where did you get that?!" She asked. I only chuckled, walking with some difficulty out of the room. I followed the group of guards to the exit, itching to fire this thing off. As I stepped out into the cold air, I saw a small figure dart about. I shifted the Cannon slowly before magically pulling the trigger. I felt the electricity jump from the cannon, to me, to into the air, sending a tingle down my spine again... and almost knocking me over. I grinned. I may have missed, but I was more than willing to fire again. Just as I was about to though, my eyes landed on a familiar golden figure armed with shoulder mounted machine guns... "Twintails?" ----- The aura dissapated around my, unfortunately now-upside-down, self, giving me a good taste of the oily snow as I landed. Somepony ought to smack some sense into that unicorn... at least he seemed to be all in one piece. I shook the snow out of my mane, sneezing some more of it out as Featherweight and Buzzy landed beside, some of the power armored ponies trotting up to surround us. Right, well, this was an otherwise unfavorable situation. Minty trotted up, us both sharing a quick hug while slight murmurs and radio static could be heard over the wasteland wind. "You have -no- idea how worried I was about you. These tin turtles didn't hurt you, did they? You've still got everything in one... what in the name of sweet Luna above is THAT thing!?" A large metallic pipe-thing adorned with more wires and lights than I could count was levitated in Minty's magic beside him, the... forward end of the barrel, I guess, sparking and arcing idly and making the cold air smell faintly of ozone. Minty chuckled, aiming it skywards, resting it on it's back end in the snow for the moment. There was a weird s-shaped 'i' on the back end - uh, no, wait, don't tell me, ion cannon? Integrated disintegrator? Intriguing thing? "Mark IV Tesla Cannon. Yanno, just a little weapon I found~" He smirked, the robed mare beside him trotting forwards. Buzzy and Featherweight watched on from the sides, Featherweight's autocannons still smoking idly from the fighting earlier. She seemed to be shivering a bit in the cold - don't come out too much, do you, missy? - the other power armored ponies looking on through their expressionless visors, large guns all kept in their idle positions. "I'm thinking of naming it little Ivan... oh, right, ah, Twintails, this is... my second cousin, Nova." Great, he's got a BFG and is already thinking of names for- wait, WHAT!? Cousin, Minty, Nova, cannon, Minty, Cousin, WHAT. Hold the fucking phone here... ...why were they both blushing? "Cousin... right... ah... well, this came way out of left field. Have any more megaspells you want to hit me with before we get going, or..." I took a few steps backwards, feeling my tails brushing against the chest of a very large stallion, prompting a quick spin and lip-bite as I felt for myself what heat that firing a gun like the ones he had at his sides in full auto could generate. Singed fur filling the air idly, I let off a light awkward chuckle, taking another step backwards. "Oh, uh, right, Minty, Buzzy and Featherweight. Buzzy and Featherweight, Minty." My bespectacled friend looked up at the pair, Featherweight nodding slightly as Buzzy climbed up ontop of his head, the small ring of power armored ponies beginning to disperse slowly. Buzzy seemed to look over Minty, shrugging idly, as the robed mare trotted forwards, coughing a bit. "Ah-hem, right, ah, how did you all manage to find this place? And... where in the hell did you get a pair of twenty millimeter autocannons for a battle saddle!?" She seemed to exclaim this in honest surprise, and concern, pointing at the guns mounted on either side of Featherweight. The large pegasus cocked his head, looking down at the smaller mare. Wait, did they really think a facility like this was hidden from everypony's knowledge? A bunch of mares and stallions in tin cans coming out of a tunnel with mounted machine lasers and trenches at the enterance is not in any way inconspicuous, lady! Buzzy hopped onto the back of one of the Steelponies, tapping at the metal helmet idly as the stallion inside tried to look around to see her. "You're kidding, right? Everypony from here to Pripytrot knows this place is where you all come out of, posting guards along the road isn't exactly keeping a low profile. 'sides, we personally saw you guys on the ground when we went to get these puppies from the airbase up north. Or, well, we think we saw you... none of you are pegasi too, right?" Even I figured that a weird thing to ask, I mean, I'm pretty sure power armor would be -really- awkward to have to fly around in. The mare - Nova, right? - gave him a look of confusion, Buzzy having successfully managed to harass the power armored pony into removing his helmet. Wow, what a mustache. "What kind of group do you think we are, of course we don't have any bastard pegas-as-as... dah... of course we don't have any with us! You were probably just seeing things." Brilliant cousin you have there, Minty, insulting a pair of pegasi with battle saddles loaded with guns that could tear her limbs clean apart before she could scream. Still, that's got to be a bit unnerving to find out the one-way glass you've been living in front of is actually nothing more than a sticker in the corner. Sheltered life, I guess. She pouted for a moment, Featherweight rolling his eyes and turning off, Buzzy hopping off of the duster-green stallion with the mustache with a smile. He seemed to grumble, looking at me for a few moments before turning back to the facility, following behind Nova. Minty levitated his new cannon across his back, chuckling weakly as he slid up beside me, and we started the journey back to Trotisk. He peered ahead, seeing Buzzy waving at us both. "So, you -did- go back to find him, didn't you? When'd you figure to come looking for me, before or after you spent a few hours as his cuddle-buddy?~" He snickered, his hooves moving shakily under the weight of the large cannon, manging to draw a blush out of myself. We'd only just met today, ya battery-powered unicorn. Besides, I'd hope we would've done a lot more than just cuddling... this many nosebleeds in one day can't be healthy. "Oh, pff, and what's the story between you and your cousin Nova, then? Going to be a few half-robot foals running around up here that look like you now? Minty and his cousin, kissin' in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g~" Snickering and giving my tails a sly swish, I stepped on ahead of Minty, almost caught up with Buzzy and Featherweight now. Glancing back, I had just enough time to see Minty's face positively red, and a very large snowball levitated in his magic flying towards my face. When am I going to learn to shut my goddess-damned mouth? --- "Good evening wasteland! This is your local fireside stallion Bert the Turtle coming in with a bit of news! Strange lights and other phenomena have been reported coming out of Pripytrot these past few days, along with a persistent rolling fog at night. Reports from some in the area from Turnpike also claim that the fog itself is highly, highly, body-meltingly highly radioactive. Anypony who doesn't have blood made out of Radaway is encouraged to not invesitgate the area - that stuff is like walking into a plasma wall on steroids! In other words, let's just hope that whatever's made Pripytrot into a no-go zone will clear out as soon as goddess-damned possible. "In other news, has anypony else seen a raider in a while? No? Don't be surprised, their numbers have definitely been wearing thin lately. Nopony really knows why, honestly - hell, maybe the fact that it's about seventy below absolute zero out there finally caught up with the naked bastards. Or, hell, maybe those tin cans patrolling north of the Mooscow-Quebuck stretch are taking care of them, or something. Nopony here is complaining! Keep the work up, guys, and maybe leave the caravans alone while you're at it. "And finally, to round off this evening news update, there have been reports of garbled static coming out near the former raider encampment of Emerald Ridge. Some ponies say it's ghosts, others say it's a broken transmitter from one of the Stables out that way, even more claim aliens. Aliens. Alien ponies, seriously guys? Some ponies need to lay off the Mint-als and Hydra. Anyways, to those two stallions out there who I know are from that area, maybe you'll be able to make sense of it. Give my regards to any grey ponies with antennas you might find! The things I pick up on this goddess-damn shortwave... Ah, anyways! Here's one that Tommy helped me dig up out of the storage area, because apparently not everypony likes hearing classics all the time. Label's kinda degraded, but I'll be a pile of ash if I don't say I love this one's sound! Let's have a listen~" "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a mare of wealth and taste. Been around for a long, long year, stole many a ponies' soul and faith..." --- Face cleared from snow... again... we finally caught up with Featherweight and Buzzy, Featherweight picking up Minty's cannon and gingerly setting it across his back, carrying it with a twinge of strain. Holy moly, how much could that stallion carry!? Minty couldn't take his eyes off of it, gingerly nudging it with his magic every now and again as we trotted along, myself flicking on the radio on a low volume to drown out the wind. "I shouted out, 'who killed Big Macintosh?', when after all, it was you and me. Let me please introduce myself, I'm a mare of wealth and taste, and I layed track for the hoofsoldiers, who get killed before they had their day." "So, uh, non-stable pegasi actually do live on the surface? In normal towns? Without being shot on sight?" Minty chuffed out, looking as Featherweight wrapped his big cannon in a wing carefully, grumbling. Buzzy was idly looking up at the sky, puffing out clouds of breath, watching as they were carried by the wasteland air. "Well, let's just call it a sort of love-hate relationship. We've had an Enclave deserter or two come through Turnpike, but when they're not firing their guns, or just downright don't have any, most sane ponies don't fire back. Live and let live, call it." Featherweight let out a huff, the cloud of steam condensing in front of his large muzzle, the autocannons clinking together idly. "We were both surface-born. Not much has been the same since mom and dad walked off into that storm, but we get by. Got these autocannons seven years ago, Buzzy was born a year after that." The pegasus filly on his back, blinked a few times, huffing and rolling her eyes. "I still remember the first time you were playing with these things. You had to fire on that old skywagon, didn't you? Nearly blew daddy and yourself to bits." Featherweight glared back at her, herself just shrugging idly and brushing her mane out of her face. "Well, ya did. Least he did make that other battle saddle for you 'n' me in the meantime, so you didn't have to carry these all the time." She tapped at the rounded ammunition drums for the autocannons, resting against them idly. Other battle saddle? Outside of holding rifles, what more could a battle saddle do? "Ah... right, that one. Yeah, why don't you explain to our friends here how you misjudged a few weeks ago and accidentally dropped those poppers right on their heads, eh, Buzzy?" A few weeks... wait... were they what that was? Those lines of craters near their house, bah, I -so- knew that they looked familiar! They were the exact same ones that were left on the road when we went to help with Mooscow's raider problem. I should've recognized that scream when Featherweight was diving in. "I'm sure they'd -love- to know, especially Twintails - didn't I recall you calling them a cute pair when we helped them into the crater, out of the cold?" Minty and I shared a blush, the road starting to wind in towards Trotisk. Buzzy pouted, staring up at Featherweight. "So I misjudged the bomb run once, I was freezing and we were being shot at, remember? They're both fine now, ain't they?" There's likely a VERY good reason foals were never part of the Equestrian Armed Forces... then again, this -was- the wasteland, after all. "An' I said that you and him would be a cute pair, silly." Featherweight let off a weak chuckle, huffing out another steamy cloud of breath and adjusting his battle saddle a bit. That little filly is nuts, but... oh, phooey, just focus on getting home for the moment Twintails. Or, well, to Trotisk, anyways. Home, yeah, right. Minty fell behind, myself meeting with him as Featherweight and Buzzy got into their arguments over when either one should be in charge of the battle saddle. "So, um, right... we're hanging in Trotisk for a while, right? I kind of still want to check out that energy weapons place, and I kind of want to know if they might have anything to help with holding that cannon. Levitation only helps so much, yanno." Minty chuckled idly, kicking at a bit of clumping snow with his robotic hoof. I nodded, my gaze slowly drifting from him to the stallion in front of us, his strong flanks keeping all of the things he was loaded with aloft out of the snow as his gate had him unknowingly swinging his short tail back and forth tauntingly, a gentle sigh escaping myself. A frigid impact of something against the back of my head knocked me out of that flank-induced trance, the unicorn beside me rolling his eyes as I wiped the remains of the snowball from the back of my head. "Lover-boy~" "Oh, c'mon, you'll probably be doing the same when your Cross Stitch comes out of the Stable." The worn wagon tracks started to appear underhoof, the outskirts of Trotisk humming idly with the sound of pony life. The large neon lights of Gun Runner's were off, and across the street the Plasma Spaz's windows were shut, no light escaping. The town was slowly going to sleep, it seemed. Minty gazed over at the closed energy weapons shop, myself letting of a small chuckle. "I'm sure he'd -love- to hear about you, Nova, and your little foals~" I recognized the glare he gave instantly, biting my lip and bracing for another snowball, which intriguingly never came. Glancing back over at Minty, he had his head lowered, trotting slowly beside myself, a saddened look on his face. "Let's just get back to the hotel. It's late, and I just want to rest without the help of intravenous injection." Watching him trot along like that, a twinge of guilt slowly grew in myself. Alright Twintails, touchy subject, don't mention the cousin anymore. Featherweight and Buzzy had stopped off in front of the hotel, Minty's large cannon held by Featherweight's wings carefully as we trotted by them. Minty lifted it up in his magic, sulking in throuth the hotel door with it and trotting up the stairs, leaving myself outside with Featherweight and Buzzy. They both glanced between us, Featherweight placing a hoof gently upon my shoulder, letting off a long sigh. "I think you both ought to talk things out. Your friend doesn't look too happy... we'll let you be." I watched in through the doorway for a few moments, each light huff of breath condensing on the glass door and causing it to cloud over. Featherweight leaned forwards, nuzzling lightly against my cheek, bringing up a light blush on my cheeks. "You know where to find us tomorrow. Hope we'll see you again, Twintails~" I turned to look up at him, watching as he smiled softly and stepped back, spreading his wings widely and bolting up off into the night. His silhouette hung in the wintry night for a long while, myself watching as it disappeared against the clouds a few moments later. Chase your dreams some other time, Twintails - you have a friend to help right now. I trotted in through the small lobby, the young mare at the front counter glancing up once from her old magazine, only to return to it moments later. Fine by me. The stairwell wound up to the second floor, the hallway dimly lit by the lights above, offering just enough to find the way to the room. The door opened with a soft creak, affording myself the sight of Minty laying on the bed, his face buried in the pillow and barding completely removed. Oh, goddesses, I really screwed up this time, didn't I? He shuffled a bit as I removed my saddle and duster - turned to face the wall. His big cannon was rested upon the dresser, the calligraphic 'i' only just covered under the fabric portion of his armored barding that was tossed carelessly over it. I let off a small sigh, sliding out of what remained of my armor. Whoof, note to self, figure out some other place to wash this stuff every now and again. Oh, focus, man. "Ah... Minty, are... I... I'm sorry." He shuffled a bit as I lifted up the covers, sliding in beside him. He grunted once, myself getting a long look at the back of his mane for a while, the small heat lamp humming gently on the headboard between us. I rested my cheek against the second pillow, breathing gently, watching him. There was a sniff, and he began to shudder every so often, raising a bit of alarm in myself. "Minty?..." "I miss him, Twintails, so much. I didn't even get to say goodbye before I left. I... I just hope that he's alright." My augmented friend gently wept beside myself in the bed, rolling into his back and wiping his eyes with his non-augmented hoof. They were reddened from the tears - redder than usual, anyways. "I never even got to say g-goodbye..." "Minty..." I gently rested my hoof against his augmented one, holding it carefully, rubbing softly. He whimpered, rolling towards myself, looking into my eyes with his own. This was going to require some Gamma-level comforting... and maybe a bit more. I tugged the blankets around us, feeling a cool chill permeate the room, gently rubbing my nuzzle up against his and wrapping a wing over his body. He sniffed, whining cutely, sliding his own foreleg around myself and cuddling against, resting his cheek against my neck. I took to lightly rubbing his mane, letting him cry himself out in my hold. It'll be alright, no more crying, no more tears... "T-twintails?" The white unicorn looked into my eyes, shuddering gently but seeming calmer now, at least. "Yeah, Minty?" "Thank you." --- The next day had us both awakening in each other's warm embrace, shuffling into our barding and picking up our saddlebags, ready to greet another day out in the wasteland. Minty hefted his big cannon along as well, obviously seeming to strain underneath it's intense weight - sheesh, easy there, tank-boy. I moved to help him with it, supporting one of the non-live-wire sections with a wing. "Any particular reason you're lugging this thing along? Expecting for us to have to kill, ah, a pony in a giant metal robot, or something?" I chuckled, holding open the door for him as we trotted out and down the hallway. He laughed a little, eyerolling, the lights glinting off of his glasses' lenses. "Well, see, it -is- kind of in need of some TLC, and, ah... well, Tesla cannon schematics aren't the kind of thing they put in civilian literature. Unfortunately..." He let off a chuckling sigh, carefully easing himself and the gun down the steps. "If any place nearby knows how to fix lil' Ivan up, it's bound to be the Plasma Spaz. Besides, I wanted to see what they had to replace that dinky old plasma pistol, anyways. Thing's more liable to kill me than anypony else at this point..." He did have a bit of a point, last time I saw it I think I remeber the duct tape starting to peel off. That's the kind of quality they had in his Stable's armory? Sheesh. I passed a smile, us both stepping out into the cool morning air. "Fair enough. After seeing you with this thing, I kinda wanted to see what else Gun Runners had to offer - think there might be a grenade launcher in there with my name on it~" Minty stifled a snicker, something that quickly turned into a laugh as we slowly made our way through the small town's center. I looked back at him as he regained himself, adjusting the large cannon and getting the last few chuckles out. What's so funny, eh? "What?" "Ah, nothing, nothing..." He snickered, moving his glasses back up on his muzzle and looking back at myself with a stupid grin. "...I'm pretty sure we'd have to go to a totally different kind of shop for something known as 'Gadget', though~" Gadget? Wha-... oh... oh, you little coy cuddler, you. I shared his laugh, bumping against his flank playfully and grinning widely, turning down the street for the two shops. Trotisk - well, what remained of it, anyways - was laid out in a sort of upside-down L-shape, the hotel placed at the farthest northern end with the shops at the corner, all of it just surrounding the outskirts of the walled-in city. Still kind of wanted to know why they weren't settled further inside, it seems like there'd be more protection in the inner city than just out in the open like this. "Well, hey, what do you mean we'd need to go to a different shop? Old Colt Johnson seemed to do fine with a grenade rifle~" Passing on a smirk, Minty gave a look of disgust, shaking his head. "Buh, don't remind me. Why did he have to show us the damn thing? He could have at LEAST cleaned it out first!!" we both shared a shudder - ah, yeah, maybe I should've remembered that image before opening my yap. Sparing the details, it looked like a severed hoof in a plushie... control your gag reflex, Twintails. Even the ornage mare seemed to be struck dumb with disgust. I tagged along with Minty as we stepped into the goop weapons shop, idly looking over the various lasers and other pieces on display while Minty hefted the cannon up. It landed with a thud on the counter, much to the surprise of the mare running the shop, who... uh... nope, there wasn't a mirror behind the counter. Teal-blue mane, white coat, red eyes, glasses, metal horn, she was the spitting image of Minty. An uneasy silence fell on the shop, myself turning away from the big laser gatling gun to dumbfoundedly glance between the two of them. "Gwah..." Minty- no, wait, Minty was on this side of the counter. Okay, Not-Minty glanced down at the large cannon, her eyes popping open widely and her whitish-blue magic encompassing it, hooves tenmderly rubbing over it's exterior. "Custom finishing, well-worn, main capacitors are... goddesses, how did you manage to fire this thing!? Just look at these frayed wires, and this corrosion on the coil terminals... gah! There's even a crack in the charge casing! This thing is a glorified pulse bomb in this state!" She poured over the cannon, spouting more technobabble that was mostly lost on me, and even sufficiently managed to confuse Minty as well. Just how non-civilian -was- this weapon supposed to be? "Oh, fuck me... I'd be a dead mare if I didn't at least... ah, r-right, bringing it in for repairs? This might take a little while, but I'll be damned if I let you walk out of here with this thing in it's current state." She set the cannon down, Minty's pip-leg being encompassed in her magic aura and brought up onto the counter, Minty stumbling a bit as he was left on three legs once more. Not-Minty fiddled with his pip-leg for a bit before levitating it back, turning back to the cannon behind the counter, Minty staring on, still reeling from seeing Not-Minty, I guess. "I'll have this teleported back to you once the repairs are done, along with the bill for cleaning and tuning. Consider the repairs themselves on the house." She trotted back into the back room, leaving us both still in a state of surprise and disbelief. "Uh... what just happened?" Minty stuttered, reattaching his pip-leg idly and turning to face myself. I blinked a few times, shrugging and shaking my head, staring back at him for a few moments. In relative silence, as Not-Minty began working out with Minty's cannon, we slowly trotted out of the store, the bell ringing behind us both as the door shut. "This is a weird Wasteland." I idly kicked at a clumping of snow as we trotted across the small street, the bell ringing on the door as we both stepped inside the more conventional weapons-aimed store. A grin slowly grew across my face as I approached the counter, tapping on the bell once. Minty jumped a bit, shaking and brushing his mane back - yeah, probably isn't smart to touch the arcane shielding for the weapons on display, is it? I chuckled, Firing Pin looking at myself behind his cracked glasses from the other side of the counter. "Ah, good to see you made it back. Now, ah, sorry about the confusion yesterday over yourself and Flash-Bang, but since the delivery was made anyways and Effin' Bee made the payment, well, be grateful she isn't working under contract. Five hundred caps and two boxes of thirty-aught-six rifle ammunition, as promised." The unicorn levitated over the small bag and two boxes - whoof, well, I guess I'm set in the ammo department for a while - smiling idly. I glanced around the shop, resting a hoof on the satchel of caps, scanning for the rifle I'd seen yesterday. He gave a curious look, examining over myself. "Er, is there an issue?" "Hm? Oh, no, no, just, ah... oh! Right, how much for that Model 79 with the barrel extension over there, in the case?" Pointing a hoof up, I put on a smile, trotting along the counter with him. Underneath the glass was an absolutely goregous 4-centimeter grenade rifle, breech-loading, back-supported, fine-aim with optional talisman-enhanced loading clip. Oh good goddesses above, it was a beautiful piece of explosives-slinging weaponry. Firing Pin looked up at me, cocking his head slightly. "Ah, four-seventy five, without ammo. You sure you can handle this thing? I mean, a forty-mil round kicks a LOT more than those rifles you've got... but, ah, well, hey, if you're buying." He shrugged, levitating out twenty-five bottlecaps from the satchel and dropping them on the counter, taking the rest. Eeeee, I'm getting a grenade rifle! Oh, I'm so going to have to try it out, and show it off to Featherweight... hm. You know, taking some time for target practicing doesn't sound like a half-bad idea... Minty trotted up beside me, eyerolling. "Please tell me you're not planning on replacing me already! We only just slept together for teh first time last night!" I shot him a quick scowl, Firing Pin stuttering for a moment and setting the unlocked rifle on the top of the counter. He looked between us, obviously confused, disturbed, and disgusted. Minty only chuckled. "What, you mean sane stallions -don't- use the barrels of large-caliber weapons when there aren't any mares around?" "Yeeeah, don't mind him too much. His family is... very close. Hasn't been new blood in the gene pool since, what, the last generation?" I snickered, picking up the rifle off of the counter with a wing, looking at the twenty-five caps and two boxes of rifle ammunition that remained. Well, I certainly couldn't kill things with it just by swinging it around... "Ah, anyways, as far as ammunition goes, have much in stock? I'll buy whatever the rest of these caps and one of those boxes gets me." Firing Pin nodded, slowly trotting into the back room, glancing at the both of us as he passed through the doorframe. Oooh, you could feel how furious Minty was... even without the metal leg to the face. Ouchie. --- "Aim a lil' higher, can't fire that thing like a regular rifle. Has a ballis... buh-lize... the rounds don't travel in a straight line." Thank you, Commander Obvious. Buzzy rested on my back, peering through a pair of fancy binoculars, which she had rested ontop of my head. We were all gathered on a small hillside a short ways south of Turnpike, Featherweight with his Twenty-millimeters, Buzzy with her ten-millimeter pew-pews, and Minty... waiting on his Tesla cannon, still. Gee, I hope we'll have enough to pay for whatever Not-Minty is doing with it. I found myself constantly shifting back and forth as Buzzy centered her weight, the rifle arced high up into the air. Boy, this thing was not made for firefights... pfft, like that would stop me fom using it in them, though! "C'mon, let him fire the blasted thing already! If I wanted a ballet lesson I would've gone back to my Stable." Minty groaned, laying back in the snow. He did have a point, we'd been doing the 'left, right, north, south, corner' dance for almost a half hour now, and I just wanted to fire this thing! Why'd I let Featherweight talk me into helping Buzzy train her aim again? I mean, all he said was if he did this for me, he'd be sure to make it worth my while... and then gave me dreamy eyes and a wink. Okay, reasons perfectly justified now, let's get cracking, Buzzy! "Hold it!..." She hummed a little bit, myself finding a fairly awkward position to be standing in, myself only just barely able to see the horizon now, and the skybus skeleton I was supposedly aiming at. Surely it couldn't be THAT far away... "Fire!" Grinning at my cheeks, my tongue hit the mechanism, the round exiting with a smoky trail and the recoil stumbling myself backwards. Whoof, oh yeah, man that felt good! Buzzy watched the round through her binoculars, myself recovering just in time to see the shell explode against the side, sending a spray of glass, ice, dirt and snow up into the air. I love the smell of high explosives in the morning. "Well, that was exciting... anypony else smell ozone?" A staticy, crackling sound filled the air, before a very large and familiar cannon, with some rather sleek new detailing, I might add, appeared overtop of Minty's head. Oh, karma, you're so delicious when you're not affecting me~ A second pulse yielded a small note, one I took to reading while Minty unburied his head and his cannon from the hillside. "Pfft. Ah, well, huh, I think it's a bit lighter than what I remember, now..." "Repairs and service bill for 'MARK IV TESLA CANNON', previous condition; basically a bomb waiting to happen, current condition; could smite Celestia. Total cost - repairs, Zero caps; maintainence and tuning, 100 caps; direct delivery, 50 caps. Upgrades - carbon-fiber case, alloy conduits, re-coiled transformers and coil, three... hundred... caps. Fuck me with a fuel rod, that thing had better be able to level a building if we're shelling out four hundred fifty caps for it!" I glared back at Minty, who was already on his hooves, looking over his newly-repaired cannon with glee. Yeah, you're paying this bill with your own caps, buddy. Featherweight trotted over, looking down at the total cost as I dropped the slip in the snow, trotting up to my energy weapons-obsessed friend. "Whoo... ouch. You might want to think over staying a while, picking up some odd jobs - the Plasma Spaz has some pretty mean rules when it comes to their 'repairs on credit' service." He trotted up between us, Minty still entirely lost in his cannon. He hefted it up onto his shoulder, levitating it carefully and aiming down the sights, a smirk on his face. "Heh, hey guys, there's a Zombie down on the range... well, at least right now, there is~" He chuckled, holding the giant thing steady in his magic, myself, Buzzy and Featherweight all peering off into the distance. Good thing it wasn't too windy today, could almost see to where the clouds over Pripytrot, I think, began. There was a small speck out on the horizon... no, wait, a few small specks, I mean, along with some weird thing sticking out of the ground at a skewed angle. He was seriously planning on sniping with a lightning cannon? Pff, well, this is going to be entertaining. "You're insane if you think you can hit something that puny with that... whatever-it-is!" Buzzy retorted, whipping out her binoculars and peering with Minty. Oh, don't tell me those glasses of his were actually part of his augmentations! The familiar smell of ozone filled the air as Minty squeezed on the trigger with his magic, the weapon's discharge erupting in a loud crack as a bluish bolt flew downrange, everypony's hair standing on end afterwards. Minty shuddered, grinning widely, starting to chuckle with glee - ah, well, I guess if that's what it's supposed to do... Buzzy kept watching through her binoculars, giggling a little herself. "Hotshot, ya missed 'im. Gonna hit that weird striped thing instead." She smirked, looking back at Minty, himself falling back onto his haunches in the snow and hugging his cannon, giggling. Geesh, I liked firing my new Grenade rifle, but you don't see me sleeping with it... yet. Buzzy hovered between us, everypony turning attention to the augmented unicorn whose mane was still stuck straight up, giggling stupidly and rolling about in the snow. I glanced over at Buzzy, who was looking to me quizzically. "You seriously travel with this guy?" I shrugged idly, hearing a light breeze blowing overhead. "Eh, he's a real shocker sometimes." Chuckling idly, my attention was quickly drawn away as the skies above illuminated with the radiance of a thousand flourescent bulbs, Time seeming to slow to a standstill in those few fleeting seconds where I threw myself, hoof over my face, into the snowy hillside. Buzzy screamed, Featherweight yelled, Minty scrambled and wound up tripping over myself, a sudden pulse of heat rushing over us and causing the snow to steam up around us. It... it couldn't be... here? Buried so far north? What could have it been aimed at? Why didn't it go off then? Why did it go off now? Carefully, I picked myself up from the snow, the dissapating fog carried by the chill wind that blew around us still, a fast ticking permeating my ears. I looked down at my pip-buck screen - the display was blurry, but coherent enough to display an alarming pulse dosage of about 8 rad per second at the peak. It faded off, myself panting heavily, Minty holding his head in pain and Featherweight curled up around Buzzy. Carefully, I turned myself around, looking towards the south, down the range, at... oh my goddesses. It was beautiful. A gigantic greenish fireball rose over a newly-forming stem, completely cutting through the clouds above and explosing a brilliant blue sky. A white skirt trailed underneath the cloud, rolling and moving, rushing towards us, myself so positively awestruck at the sight that I completely forgot about that blast wave. I leapt into the air, a stupidly massive grin on my face, beginning to laugh and holler my lungs out. "A BALEFIRE BOMB! HAAAAA-YEAH! AN ACTUAL HONEST-TO-LUNA BALEFIRE BOMB!! AND I WAS HERE TO SEE IT GO OFF!!! WAAAAAH-HOOOOOEY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT CLOUD!? ABSOLUTELY GOREGOUS! A GODDESS-DAMNED BALEFIRE BOMB!! HA-HAAAA!!! WHOOO!" In a gleeful stupor, I flailed my hooves about, my wings keeping me aloft as the looming shockwave drew nearer and nearer. Oh, goddesses, consider my life complete, an actual balefire bomb went off and I was alive to see it happen! I didn't even need to wait for Doc to finish with Megaspell Mary, that was an actual Balefire bomb! I kept on laughing and hollering, right up to the point where the rolling sea of snow passed underneath, the explosive roar of balefire thunder ringing out in my ears, myself flipping head-over-hooves as I was catapulted into the overturned snow. At least I didn't land on a sharp horn this time... a balefire bomb! So awesome!! A magical aura encomassed my tails and freed my head from the snow, Minty staring at myself, a drunken grin still held upon my face. He blinked a few times, adjusting his glasses and moving in closer to myself. "Earth to Twintails, Twintails, are you alright? That was... that was insane. Thank Luna nopony got hurt." I giggled a little bit, relaxing and letting my head drop, looking at the snowy ground once more. "A balefire bomb... can we do that again?" Minty let out a huff, his magic aura audibly dying out, gravity taking over once more. Hello, snow! "Yeah, he's alright..." --- "Hey all you mares and stallions out there, this is Bert the Turtle cutting in with a very astonishing special report. Now, many of you around the Trotisk and Turnpike region may be wondering just what the heck that light show east of Pripytrot was earlier today. Well, from a pair of anonymous voices who were with a certain unicorn and very excitable pegasus at the time, what many of you may have seen was nothing other than an honest-to-Luna balefire warhead detonating. Celestia knows what the hell a missile was doing so far up north, or why it didn't go off sooner - the reports don't say. Keep some Rad-X and Radaway handy, Tommy's gone into a fuss over calculating where the fallout from this puppy's going to be landing, but it seems like the worst will pass most populated centers to the west. Mooscow, Quebuck, Emerald Ridge - all in the range, but it's likely to dissapate if the winds pass. J-just stay indoors for the time being, don't go out unless you absolutely have to. Ah... yeah... we'll pop on some PSAs in the meantime. Stay frosty, wasteland, and try to avoid anything glowing green over the next few weeks." "Crawl out through the fallout, baby, when they drop that bomb! Crawl out through the fallout, with the greatest stars around. While your white count's getting higher, hurry, don't delay. I'll hold you close and kiss those, radiation burns away! Crawl out through the fallout, baby, To my lovin' hooves, through the rain of Strontium 90! So why don't you crawl out through the fallout, back to me!"