"Welcome, to a very special League of Legends Champions Spotlight, featuring..."
And on the screen appeared the Four Royal Ponies: Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Cadance striking a strong, ready for battle pose.
You could practically see the bloodlust in Luna's eyes. The confidence in Celestia's pose. The giddiness in Twilight's wings. And the cold sweat on Cadance's face, smiling a little too hard for the camera.
"The Pony Princess Patch...really? You sure? Umm... 'kay..."
"Sister, why did this 'Phreak' sound unsure about us?" asked Luna, sitting in the front row of an Institute of War hall. The rows behind them were literally all the other Champions of the League of Legends (separated into their preferred company of course), watching the latest projection as well.
"Well, most of the Champions here in Runeterra do walk only on two legs," said her big sister sweetly, "And the videomakers did say they quite liked the candidness of some of the footage and I think they wanted this Spotlight to have more pizzazz to it,"
"Ah, makes sense," she muttered, and they continued to watch.
"These four kind-hearted and... adorable... Royal Ponies come from a land from a different dimension called Equestria. Upon accidentally stumbling upon the portal that links The League and their kingdom, Princess Luna had the bright idea of initiating the friendship between the two dimensions by... having a vacation in the Fields of Justice as Champions. They may be sweet and full of friendship but their might is second to- okay, this has got to be a joke, right? This has got to be a joke!"
This caused some of the champions to snicker and laugh quite a bit. Nasus, who was also on the front row with the Ponies lightly chuckled. And everyone definitely heard Cho' Gath's demonic guffaws.
Annie giggled as she still continued to comb the mane of a rather annoyed Twilight. The moment the talented little sorceress saw the bookish purple one, she squeed and kept riding on top of her in an adolescent bliss.
After some light whisperings, "Really, this isn't some April Fools... alright, alright... Let's see, where were... The first Champion that we will look at... is Celestia..."
The screen then focused onto Celestia, "Princess of the Sun,"
It then moved on to a top down view of Celestia taking a relaxed stroll around Summoner's Rift, sniffing a brush or two.
"Celestia, by far the eldest of the Ponies, is wise as she is powerful, harnessing the very might of the sun to deal long range damage with plenty of utility to assist her team.
"Celestia's passive is Lightspeed, where repeated usage of her spells actually increases her autoattack range. Her initial range in every match is equal to Malzahar's or Ryze's but, after casting six spells in a short duration, it gradually maxes at Caitlyn's range,"
The Sheriff of Piltover spat out her muffin in shock upon hearing that, knocking her rifle onto the floor. Her partner, Vi The Piltover Enforcer, kept laughing.
"As we can see here in the mid lane, the moment Ryze even tries to get close, he was already hit by a few shots from her enormous horn... why does the script say enormous horn for?? Who wrote this!?
"Anyways, to better explain her abilities, we'll start off with her channeling ability, Channeling. Okay. So activating this spell immobilizes Celestia, not allowing her to autoattack anymore but gives buffs to her other three abilities. Upon successful channeling for two seconds, she is then able to cast one followup spell,"
Celestia, on the screen, lowered her stance and began to glow a magical yellow all over her body.
Her most reliable damage spell is Solar Beam, where she briefly channels and fires a beam to damage all enemies in a line. But when Channeled however, Solar Beam becomes Solar Flare. In this scenario, we see Celestia Channeling in the brush, and instead of a straight beam, summons the very power of the Sun to blast a gigantic angled beam of pure solar heat, scorching the earth, and a quarter-life Ryze in the process, think of it as Viktor's Death Ray times a hundred,"
"I can still smell the singe on what little hair I have left on my face, Princess!" commented the Rogue Mage to a gently chuckling Celestia.
The screen then transitions to a teamfight about to occur in top lane, both sides unwilling to engage.
"Her utility spell is Mass Cleanse. Ryze manages to actually get in range to land his Void Prison on the opposing mid, but Celestia activates Mass Cleanse,"
And an aura as large as the Troll King's Frozen Domain bursted forth, and the snare was cleansed away, even Nasus's Wither on Twilight had also been removed. Celestia's team then pressed forward with their own spells.
"Later in the match, Celestia is once again Channeling right in front of Ryze. The Rogue Mage decided it best to retreat, but when the Channeling has completed, Mass Cleanse became Mass Teleport, and she teleported a massive distance away in front of him, also still casting the Cleansing spell,"
Ryze practically skidded to a halt and before he could juke away, was turned into ashes by Celestia's Solar Beam.
"Singed," Ryze loudly complained.
"Yes, Master Ryze?" taunted The Mad Chemist from the back rows where the other Noxians were.
"Shut up!" he yelled without turning.
"And Celestia's Ultimate spell is called Solar Glare, ha-ha, and yes, it's another Area of Effect spell, specifically, a global spell,"
And the Ponies could hear almost every Champion lean forward to hear more intently; global spells are nothing to be trifled with and can turn the tides of any match.
"Celestia is now speaking amiably with that Yordle that hangs out in the summoner platform... you, you can do that? What? Ermm! While her team is fighting the other team near Baron. But to assist them, she casts Solar Glare, which globally blinds all enemy Champions for two seconds, so that they are unable to throw out any autoattacks, though spells, if they're lucky, can still hit,"
Whilst 'Phreak' was narrating, the entire map flashed a brief white but not too much that it obscured anyone's vision. However, Celestia's opposing team clearly felt the effects of it and ran around in a panic.
Baron Nashor the giant worm got a triple kill as a result.
"The resulting damage from Solar Glare is in fact not very high, but as her team starts to push the inhibitor while she is... cleaning her hooves in the river, I think... the desperate Purple Team tries to make a final stand. The moment Solar Glare became available, however, she begins to Channel once again, and this time, instead of just Blinding them, if there is an enemy champions available within an enormous radius equal to Nocturne's launch range with Paranoia, targets one Champion who remains in vision throughout the entire channel.
"Ryze again, of course. The moment Blind is gone, She then leaps up into the air and fires a super-charged, concentrated beam of light all the way to the half-health Ryze, leaving only a Ryze-shaped statue made of ash,"
Then the unthinkable happened. Ryze was struck with a very audible Astral Blessing, increasing his health by quite a bit though not up to full health. He turned to his left and saw the gracious Soraka waving at him pleasantly.
"Thank you, Soraka," said Ryze icily through really gritted teeth, "... for the heal. And for also letting the entire League know that this video was a recent development,"
"Celestia would usually take the Summoner Spells of Ignite and Flash, for maximum damage and escapability, but she didn't even use them in the entire match, so who knows?"
"Judicator, you may need to teach me when to use these two useful spells," asked Celestia to Kayle, in which she nodded, and she pointed up to the screen and said, 'Twilight,"