(The sun set on the horizon as the day sky turn from a pretty aqua color to eh majestic golden redish color. It’s little moments like this that make Applebuckin almost tolerable.)
I line up my legs with the tree. If I don’t get this right I could hurt myself. I wheel my thighs up and spring them back; the tree rocked and the apples fell.
Following the same direction of the apples I too collapsed on the ground. It ain’t easy buckin’ this time of the year, late summer was never an easy season for farmers.
I know I should be up to handle any kind of weather but it ain’t as easy as it looks. The constant lining up and releasing wears on my muscles and the fear of hurtin something of mine wears on my brain.
Ever since IT happened Big Mac and I have been working overtime to meet our production mark. Two ponies for about 1000 apple trees might not seem like much, but let me remind you when Granny Smith moved her we had round’ six full grown ponies.
I might look it, but I’m not even a fully grown filly. About another year or so until I’m considered ‘Mature’. Funny; seems like I’d be plenty ‘Mature’, I do a stallion’s hand in labor every night because I can… well actually I have to.
I’m really panting quite hard, all this Applebuckin has gotten me exhausted an I’m only half done with my wor for the day!
Not much more can be said about my afternoon just; line up your legs, kick, collect. Over and over again, and it wines tirin’ on my brain. I’m a servant to my own land, so I we can keep the land, so we can stay servants of our own land; I kick another tree.
All the apples fall around me, they seemingly slide down my vison; I think I’m getting delirious. It must be around ten or so, bout’ time I quit. Thank goodness!
I pull the cart of apples into the barns main entrance, I unlatch my color; ducking underneath the bar attached to the wagon, I exit towards the houses main entrance.
Well, the entrance from the barn that is. It doesn’t seem terribly smart having our house connect to our barn but I didn’t design the blueprints.
I step into the kitchen, the whole house it dark; I’m guessing Big Mac and Granny smith are asleep. I thought he was workin awful hard today.
I walk over to the fridge an open it, a refreshing cool breeze of air brushes through my coat, I enjoy the moment. I reach my head in and latch my jowls around the milk carton we have.
I pour whatever small amount of milk was left in the jug into a glass on the kitchen table. Biting into the carton and doin a whip of my neck I tossed the cardboard container into the trash bin by the table.
Walkin to my room upstairs I pass by a small photo, one that I always find myself stairing at. It was a picture of the Apple family, not our extended ones or us four here now. No, it was the whole Apple family; Big Mac, Ma, Pa, Granny Smith, and I.
I wince at their memory, it’s been nearly ten years but I can’t quite shake the feeling. I don’t wanna talk about it, it’s borin’ anyway.
I keep trotting up my houses stairs an make a left into face my room. No one else lives upstairs but Applebloom and I, our rooms are on opposite sides of a small terrace.
I kick in my heavy wooden door, inside my room is everything you’d expect somepony like me. Unfinished wood floorin, emerald green walls, and plenty of magenta furniture with apples and such on it. My pillows are white with apples on them; I don’t even know why granny smith buys me ironic décor, as if I wanna be reminded that I’m an apple farmer.
I stomp my hoof on the ground an set the glass of milk I had on my counter. I hope I didn’t wake any pony up. I slowly creak my door shut, I don’t want any pony seeing what’s about to happen.
Slowly I graze my hoof around the door’s lock, I latch it without a hitch; perfect.
I trot around my room for a bit, it’s always nerve racking doing this. I climb over my bed and open my curtains, yep; Big Mac is asleep. Or at least he ain’t nowhere to be found.
I shut the curtains, I trust my lock but it ain’t always reliable and I don’t wanna get caught.
I take a few more deep breaths before walking over to my closet space. I crouch down and move some stuff aside; a couple of articles aside I find what I’m looking for.
On a shelf behind my hung cloths is a small cardboard box, using my forehoofs I bring it out. I lose my balance, doin’ a turn I slam face first into the ground but at least the box is alright.
I know my sham ain’t all that elaborate but it’s worth hidin’, I don’t know what mah family or friends would do if they found out about this. Fact bein’ I don’t know what to think of myself the majority of the time, I just ain’t right in the head I suppose.
I open the box and look at the containents; diapers, toiletries, pacifiers, a onesie, a bottle, my blanky, my teddy bear, and a photo of my parents and I.
I know it may not sound like much to you, or maybe y’all thinkin I’m insane for possession something; and I’d have to agree with both.
The diapers are designed to look like a foal’s diaper, I buy them month or so in market when I need them. Disposable, thick, and crinkly; just the way I want em’.
The pacifier or I guess pacifiers were the ones I had ever since I was a filly. Both are one’s I’ve grown up with; although, I only use the one.
My blanket is just the one I inherited from my parents; I’d never use it though. I’m too afraid I’d damage it and I don’t want to lose it.
My teddy bear is the most important thing of all to me in my little garden of shadows. His name is Mr.Snuggles and he is the cutest, most huggly stuffed animal ever. I’ve had him for as long as I remember, he’s really soft.
The rest of the stuff I ain’t terribly sentimental about. I got it all post incident, and it can all be replaced.
I reach my head into the box and start pulling out the baby oil, powder and such. Next I reach in and bit down one of the diapers with my mouth, it’s thick, so thick I can’t move my tongue. I started to unfold it with my hoofs; I have to be real careful now.
I lay on the ground next to all my other items unfolding the huge oversized baby garment in my hands. I bought these just for days like this; when I’m exhausted and I want to relax… it’s the only thing that gives me solace anymore.
I don’t really mind the overwhelming pressure most of the time but the fact that the incident’s 9th year anniversary is coming up in three days is really getting to me.
I gripped the diaper in my hoof one last time and took a deep breath. Searing white adrenaline courses through my veins. It makes my movements slower and shakier. I press its soft absorbent padding against my face, I feel the diaper cool my skin down; I must be blushing.
I rub the diaper against my snatch and take one last deep breath. My pelvis thrust up involuntarily at the touch but I ignore it. Leaving my rump high in the air I slide the diaper underneath it. Sitting down on it I smile, it’s so soft.
I just sit there a moment appreciating the situation; the cool air conditioning on my fur feels nice. I look at the door handle, I can’t help but worry Apple Bloom or Big Mac is going to step in uninvited.
The adrenaline still lingering around me I grab the oil from my side. I start rubbing at my vagina and my rump, I can’t afford to get a rash. Same reason I applied the baby powder, it’s hard to aim it but I manage to hit my ‘area’ with it perfectly.
I slowly pull the diaper up, I pivot on each side taping the front end to the back end. I repeat that movement for each side it’s done; I’m now a diapered little foal.
I kick my legs experimentally and sit on my rump. I love being in diapers, the padding sooths my hyde from all the Applebucking and it feels like it’s huggin’ up on my rump; I really like the way it feels alright?
I stand on all fours and walk up to my box of secrets. Pullin out the onesie I have I grin, it’s pick, buttons around my crotch, and an apple with a worm in it for a main design. Rarity designed it, I requested and got it shipped to me anonymously through a P.O box.
I almost got caught, but I thankfully Rarity didn’t question the customer.
I feel like I could handle my family, but not my friends. I struggle my way through the onesie, It’s a little bit tight but it’s comfortable. I stick my pretty pink pacifier in my mouth an grab Mr.Snuggles. I put the rest of the stuff back in the box and into the closet before trotting off to bed.
I bunny hop unto of my mattress and lay flat on my back. My back sinks into my beds magenta blankets and my sore neck is relaxed by the pillow.
I stared a moment at my sealing fan a moment before contemplating my situation. I suck on my pacifier and my face starts blushing again. I kick my legs into the air gently and I close my eyes; I love the little moments like this.
I hug onto Mr.Snuggles, he’s really soft and he makes it all worthwhile. There’s only one thing Ah like to hug more and that’s my filly friend… Rainbow.
I know it sounds odd but I really do love her. She’s my best friend and we trust eachother. I mean, how do ya explain love? I just feel really special when I’m in her arms and it makes me feel bad that I have to hide this part of my life from her but just… look at me.
I’m dressed like foal, a sissy one at that. Everything I bought, I got to comfort me. The onesie, the foal diapers, and even the pacifier ah use for my own good.
I suck on the dummy in mouth, and hug Mr.Snuggles more.
I started to talk to him, he’s always a really helpful friend.
“Awh, why do you look so said AJ?” He says in his low voice.
“I just- I’m just exhausted ya know? And I want to be dwessed like a baby, cause that’s what I am! I’m just a wittle foal who’s mommy and daddy love vewy much.” I say indignantly.
“But you’re not a foal, you’re almost a fully grown mare.” He said, me placing his paw to his mouth.
“No I ain’t Mr. Snuggles, I’m wearin diapers ain’t I? You ever seen a mare use a diaper before?”
“No, but your diaper isn’t used now is it AJ?” He said in his deep voice.
I started to get flustred, “No but it will be soon, you just wait until I need to use the potty. Then you’ll see what a mare I am.” I look around and notice the glass of cold milk by my bed.
“Oops, ah almost forgot” I think to myself. I trotted over to the box filled with my baby stuff and take my bottle with me. It was the same color as my onesie, Pink lid yellow nub.
I unscrew it and pour the milk from the glass into the bottle. I set the glass back on the table, I lost a bit of the milk from the surface tension of the glass but it ain’t much.
I hold the bottle of milk in my right hoof triumphantly and hold Mr.Snuggles with my other hoof.
“See Mr.Snuggles, see this bottle? Big Mares don’t drink from bottle either!” I smirk sticking my tounge out at him.
“But don’t babie’s mommys and daddies feed them?” He did a small chuckle afterword’s.
I got a bit made, how dare he say that. He knows my parents are dead and that it was my fault. My face gets flustered and I say in a cold whispering voice drawing his fuzzy face close to my muzzle.
“Now listen Mr. Snuggles, that ain’t right to say. You know very well that t-they’re…” I couldn’t handle it any more. I start to hiccup and my eyes half close involuntarily. Tears rushed down my face which I covered up with my left forearm; the one that the bottle was being held by.
Mr.Snuggles moved closer and gave me a mock kiss on the cheek, “It’s alright Applejack, I take what I say back. Clearly only babies would cry at something that happened 8 years ago.”
“N-nine ye-years ago.” I correct him.
He chuckles, “You really are a baby aren’t you Applejack?”
I wipe the tears from my eyes, “Shut up.” I say defeated.
I open his arms and pretend her offered me a hug, “Awh, it’s alright AJ. Atleast you’re a cute baby” He said in his low toned voice.
I smile a bit, “Thankyou” I hug him close to my chest and pull him to my right, I hold him under my arm. I wait a few seconds for my sobs to stop before lying back down.
I roll unto my left side facing my window and lower the bottle to my mouth. I start drinking the milk, it’s sour but it’s still editable.
I suckle for the next several minutes letting the tears roll down my face. I’m so ashamed but I don’t care. My face is burning hot, and for some reason the occasional tear rolling down my face does nothing to cool it down.
I’m about half way through my bottle then it hits me, I have to use the restroom.
I shugg it off, I spread my legs and relax my lower body. I feel a heat engulf my snatch and I shake a little bit. It’s humiliating but it’s so… soothing.
I keep suckling at the bottle, staring at my drab curtains. I move my legs around a little bit and feel as my ‘accident’ turns from hot to cold.
My tears stopped falling at this point; I don’t quite know what to think right now. I finished the bottle and put on the window’s pedestal.
I hitch my aching legs close to my torso and pull my comforter up, I extended my legs out and let the blanket rest over them.
My left hand free I stick the pink pacifier back in my much and start sucking. I wrap Mr.Snuggles in an embrace as I close my eyes.
I start rocking back and forth slowly trying to calm myself, wearing diapers always get a tad bit ‘excited’. I nudge the front of my diaper, it’s wet and cold but I kind of like the way it feels.
I turn to my left side again and open the window shades very slightly, about an inch or two just so I can see the farm.
I gaze out at the orchard and cringe at the thought that I’m going to have to wake up first thing tomorrow morning and start bucking again. My legs are bruised, my body is achy, and worse of all I’m starting to feel a bit tired.
I really shouldn’t be fallen asleep, specially’ in a wet diaper. I wouldn’t doubt that diaper rashes hurt after all. I yawned.
I watch the moon illuminate the night sky and I started thinking about my friends and what they’re doing around this hour.
Pinkie is probley asleep, same for Twilight. Rarity is probley stressin about her clientele or something. Rainbow Dash is probley drinking cider or maybe she’s working on the weather? She seems to be pretty busy anymore.
I suppose it’s not my concern but I hope whatever she’s doing shes- “yawn!” – alright. I close my eyes, my neck, and my head hurt.
I think I’ll close my eyes just for a second now. Diapers are really comfortable, specially’ for a baby like me. I wiggle my rump a bit under the cover allowing it to press into the diapers soft padding.
Haha, I’m sure I can make it one night without any of em’ “Yawn” noticing…
My vision goes dark.
My eyes shoot up as my eyes meet with a set of magenta eyes in the window, there's a faint morning light in the distance behind her.
“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing here?” I say with a groggy speech as I sit up. I look at her, she’s flying infront of my window’s view.
Rainbow Dashes mouth stays closed, her face looks confused and she keeps scanning up and down my body.
I asked my self, “What is she- oh no!” I panic standing on all my fours and sitting on my behind. I feel the padding, my rump hurts and it’s cold. The pacifier dropped out of my mouth.
I start panicking, my face is as red as the apples on my flank, I push the front of the diaper in a poor attempt to cover it up.
I drop the pacifier out of my mouth and onto the bed. I feel the adrenaline coursin’ through my veins; she was never supposed to see me like this.
She opens my window and fly’s unto my bed, she whisper yells “Applejack, what the buck is wrong with you I-I, just what are you wearing? Why?!”
I stutter, there are tears in my eyes, “I-I don’t know, I just like dressin like this?”
She trots backwards slowly on my bed, her eyes focusing on the button snaps around the onesie I was wearing, then the pacifier on my bed.
“You-you’re wearing a diaper?”
I started to cry, “Y-yes, It-it’s just ah”
Rainbow Dash starts to shake her head, “No, I-wouldn’t have... Just-just get away from me you weird pedophile!”
She turns flying out of my window and into the distance. My jaw drops; I didn’t ever expect her to visit me like that… “Damnit!” I yell throwing Mr.Snuggles into the closet.
My family must not be awake yet, I better start undressing…