//------------------------------// // No Laughing matter // Story: Five Shooting Stars // by The Infinity Doctor //------------------------------// The rest of the group soon found Slimy face-down in a small crater. "Oh my goodness, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked Slimy got up and shook the dirt off of himself "Eh, I'm fine-" The Cutie Mark Crusaders came bounding up to Slimy "What was that?" "Can you do it again?" "Can we try?" "How'd ya do it?" "Do you have your cutie mark yet?" A very confused Slimy was carried off by the three fillies, all asking questions simultaneously "Well that happened..." Flasher remarked "Boss, I'm gonna go make sure the van is all ready" Wheezy said, wandering around the back of Fluttershy's house "Ready for what?" Twilight asked, turning to Smart Ass "We decided to set up shop right here in town" "What is it you'll be doing exactly?" "Instigative services, that sort a stuff" "You mean 'investigative'- so you're like a detective?" "More like police" "What?" "You don't have police here?" "No, most towns only have the Town Guard" That explains an awful helluva lot Smart Ass thought to himself "Well, see ya later- got business to attend to" The group went their separate ways to complete the day's activities X "What does this piece do Mr. Wheezy?" Fawn asked, poking her head into the open hood of the van "That's the engine kid, it makes the car move" "So it's like a cart?" "Yeah, I guess..." Wheezy rummaged through his tool box and pulled out a screwdriver, then set to making adjustments on the engine After he was finished, he closed the hood and found Fawn looking at him curiously "Don't you want ta go hang out with someone your own age?" he asked "I could...but I like being around you" "Why?" The filly only shrugged and went back into Fluttershy's cottage If Wheezy could be honest, the filly was growing on him too He quickly checked to make sure the van was locked, then followed the filly "Looks like Fluttershy's out right now- want some lunch?" he asked, pulling two plates out of the cupboard "Mm-hmm" "What would ya like?" "Um, do you have any dandelions?" "What would you use dandelions for?" "A sandwhich?" "Oh, right" He opened a bag of flowers and pulled out a handful- he put the flowers between two slices of bread and set it on the table for Fawn. Deciding not to try the flowers, Wheezy sat down at the table and watched Fawn eat "What?" "Do you always watch somepony eat their lunch?" The statement actually made Wheezy blush, he turned away to look out the window "You know what I can't get over?" he asked "What?" "How nice it is here" "What do you mean?" "I mean- just look around, there's no trouble anywhere, no-one seems to have a care in the world- everyone is just so- so happy" "Na, I'm sure they've got their fair share of problems" Fawn reassured "Thanks kid" he said, ruffling her unkept mane (Later that day- Sugarcube Corner) Pinkie Pie happily bounced around the kitchen, filling orders and helping the Cakes "I know what you're thinking Mrs. Cake, you and Mr. Cake should take a break for a few days" Or weeks "Pinkie dear, I know you want what's best for us- but we can't just leave, we have a business to run- foals to care for" Mrs. Cake said, trying to match Pinkie's speed running around the kitchen "No need to worry about that! I run the bakery by myself sometimes- and Psychie and I are here to watch Pumpkin and Pound" Mrs. Cake shifted her eyes to the weasel in question, who at the moment was bashing himself over the head with an oversized hammer to amuse Pumpkin and Pound. To be honest, she didn't know what to make of him- for all intents and purposes, he looked like a psychotic mental patient, yet here he was, playing with two foals of all things. "Pinkie-" "You and Mr. Cake really need a break. Hey! That rhymed!" "Pinkie-" Mrs. Cake chose her next words carefully "-it's not that I don't trust you-" "Then what is it?" "Well...I don't trust him" She said, motioning to Psycho "But he's really nice!" Her conviction wavered as the weasel was now in a staring contest with the twins, his face close to theirs- Pumpkin booped him on the nose, while Pound was content watching his swirling yellow-and-white eyes speed up and slow down. "...I'll give him one chance..." Mrs. Cake finally said Pinkie squealed with glee "But only one" "You got it Mrs. Cake! He'll be the bestest asisstant's-asisstant ever!" Mrs. Cake sighed to herself and went upstairs to help her husband finish packing. X (Hours later) "Hey, where'd everyone go?" Flasher asked as he and Stupid stood in the now empty street "Duh, maybe they all went on vacation" Stupid replied Flasher cuffed him upside the head "Ow, hey- there's Spike and- and-" "Twilight" Flasher finished Stupid looked skyward "Nope, still daytime" Flasher face-palmed "Hey Twilight, hey Spike" "Hello Flasher, Stupid" "Hey" "Where did everypony go?" Twilight asked "That's what we were wonderin' ourselves" The four were just about to pass Sugarcube corner when they were pulled into the bakery "Getinherebeforeshegetsyou!" "Why's it so dark in here?" "It's not another party is it?" A bright light appeared and the four flinched "Wh-who? The z-zombie pony?" Spike asked "Z-zombie pony?" Pinkie repeated Spike shook and clung to Twilight "Spike, there are no zombie ponies" Twilight said Spike let go and hopped off of her "Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?" Twilight asked "I'm not alone in the dark" Pinkie said The lights brightened a little and Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applebloom were in the bakery as well "Okay then, what are you all doing here in the dark?" "That's what I want to know" Flasher mumbled "We're hidin' from her" Applejack said, pointing out the window The group huddled around the window and saw a hooded figure pawing at the dirt with a hoof After a short while, the figure turned- revealing a glowing pair of yellow eyes underneath The rest of the group hid, save for Flasher and Twilight, who continued to look out the window "Didja see her Twilight? Didja see...Zecora?" Applebloom asked "Applebloom- I told ya never ta say that name" Applejack said "Well, I saw her glance this way-" "Glance EVILLY this way" Pinkie said, poking Twilight with her forehoof "-and then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason" "No good reason? Ya call protectin' your kin 'no good reason'?" Applejack asked, placing a forehoof over Applebloom "Why as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, she started shakin' in her little horseshoes" "D-d-d-d-id n-n-o-t" Applebloom said as she was shaken back and forth "So I swept her up and brought her here" "I walked here myself" Applebloom argued "For saftey" "Applejaaacck, I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself" "Not from that creepy Zecora" "She's mysterious" Fluttershy said "Sinister" Rainbow said, hovering above them "-and spoooooky" Twilight rolled her eyes and stared back out the window The figure pulled its hood down, with his/her back to the bakery- a light gray coat with a black-and-white mohawk and large golden rings hanging from their ears *Gasp!* "Will you cut that out?" Twilight said, annoyed "Just look at those stripes" Rarity said "So garish" "She's a zebra" Twilight said "A what?" "A zebra- and her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they were what she was born with" Rarity put a hoof to her forehead and dramatically fell backwards "Born where? I never seen a pony like that in these parts- 'cept her" Applejack said "Well she probably ain't from here then, is she" Flasher said "-and she's not a pony" Twilight interjected "My books say zebras come from a faraway land- but I've never seen one in Ponyville" Nopony noticed Spike sneak out of the room "Where does she live?" "That's just it, she lives in the- Everfree forest" *Crash* *Bang* *Crash* "Spike!" "Sorry..." Spike said, holding a cupcake in one claw "The Everfree forest just ain't natural" Applejack said "The plants grow-" "-animals care for themselves-" Fluttershy added "-and the clouds move-" Rainbow said "-ALL ON THEIR OWN" Rarity fainted once more "What? That's it?" Smart Ass said "And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil- stuff!" Pinkie said "She's so evil- I even wrote a song about her" Flasher and Rainbow groaned as Pinkie started her song "Wow, catchy" Twilight said once Pinkie finished "It's a work in progress" Pinkie smiled "This is all just alot of gossip and rumors" Twilight concluded "I'm with ya on that" Flasher said "Now tell me- what exactly have you seen Zecora do?" "Well- once a month, she comes into Ponyville" Rainbow said "Ooh" Twilight said, feining suprise "Then, she lurks by the stores" Rarity said "Oh my" Flasher said sarcastically "-and then...she digs at the ground" Fluttershy said "Good gracious" Twilight said with mock-horror "Okay, I'm sorry- but how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit" "Yeah, maybe she's just tryin' to be neighborly" Applebloom said "And maybe she's not lurking by the stores- maybe she's going to them, lurk-free, to do some shopping?" "Yeah, everypony likes to shop, you know what I think-" "Applebloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk" Applejack said, shooing Applebloom away "I am a big pony" She muttered "What about digging at the ground? You've gotta admit- that's weird" Rainbow said "What if she's digging for innoccent creatures?" "I'm sure there's an explanation for everything Zecora does- and if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth" Twilight said "Well I'm brave enough- I'm gonna find out myself" Applebloom said, walking out of the bakery X Applebloom watched Zecora from the street, hiding whenever she might catch sight of her "You ponies are being rediculous!" Twilight said "Well I heard Zecora eats hay" Pinkie said "Pinkie- I eat hay- you eat hay" "Yeah, but I heard it's the eeevil way she eats hay" Flasher rolled his eyes "Hey! Where's Applebloom?" Applejack asked "The door's open" Fluttershy replied "She went outside?!" Rarity cried "And Zecora's still out there" Rainbow said "That silly little filly, I told her to stay put" Applejack said The group rushed out of the bakery, save for Stupid, Flasher, Twilight, and Spike "Spike- you stay here in case Applebloom comes back" Twilight said "Will do" Spike saluted, wearing a pot on his head X Applebloom hesitantly trotted after Zecora- remaining just outside the forest border She gulped, then steeled herself- running into the Everfree "Applebloom?!" Came Applejack's voice Zecora turned her head and noticed Applebloom "You get back here right now!" Applebloom noticed that Applejack and her five friends- plus the seven weasels standing in a patch of blue flowers "Beware! Beware you pony-folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" Zecora boomed, shrinking into the mist "Y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear?" Applejack said, picking up Applebloom Four of the ponies and some of the weasels were shouting to the mist, while Flasher, Twilight, and Fluttershy remained silent "Oh brother..." Twilight moaned "Beware! Beware!" "Yeah! Back at ya Zecora!" Rainbow heckled "You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!" Applebloom shot a glare at Rainbow while Applejack chewed her out "And you- why couldn't you just listen to your big sister?" "I-I- " "Who knows what kinda nasty curse Zecora coulda just put on you" "Just like in my song!" Pinkie exclaimed "Song?" Smart Ass questioned "Tell ya later boss..." "You guys, there's no such things as curses!" Twilight said "Listen ta her" Flasher said "Well that's interesting to hear- coming from Miss Magic-Pants herself" Rainbow said "My magic- real magic- comes from within, it's a skill you're born with; curses are artificial, fake magic, it's conjured with potions and incantations" Rainbow wasn't listening as she flew a short ways away "It's all smoke and mirrors meant to scare- but curses have no real power; they're just an old pony tale" "A pony tale?" Stupid asked "That's right- why?" Six of the weasels burst into laughter "Stop that laughing!" Smart Ass shouted The four other mares were already out of the field, followed by all seven weasels "Just you wait Twilight- some pony tales really are true" Applejack said, walking out Twilight looked around before leaving herself X That night, Twilight tossed and turned in her bed- Pinkie's 'wicked enchantress' song running through her head X "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" Twilight groaned "What a dream...Curses-shmurses" She got up and went to her mirror "Whoa, maybe Zecora cursed my hair" Twilight laughed to herself Twilight brushed her mane and gasped Her horn jiggled from her forehead, covered in blue spots. "Or she cursed my horn" "No no no no NO! None of these books have a cure! Ugh, there has to be a real reason for this" Twilight said, poking at her floppy horn "An illness? An allergy?" "A curse" Spike said, leafing through a book "I said a real reason- something that points to something real" "How about this one?" He asked holding up a book with a green cover "Supernaturals? Spike, the word 'supernatural' refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies- which are as make believe as curses" She said "This book is just a bunch of hooey" "But what if you're wrong Twilight? What if this a-" Spike was interupted as Pinkie and an earth pony stallion charged into the library, Pinkie's swollen orange-and-blue tongue blocked most of her mouth, only able to communicate through a series of garbled noises. The stallion in the white jacket however, looked totally unharmed "A purse? How could it be a purse?" Spike asked "Pinkie? What happened?" Twilight asked "Tthe ptut ba curthe on bthe- Tthe ptut ba curthe on bthe" "Say it, don't spray it Pinkie" Spike said, wiping himself off "Wait a minute- who are you?" "Heth Psthycho!" "What?" The stallion grinned, showing pointed and crooked teeth "She's..." *Thump* "...trying to say..." *Thump* *Crash* Rainbow Dash came crashing through the front door- hurdling into a bookshelf "...curse" "I'm afraid I have to agree" Rarity said, trotting into the library with a dark-brown earth pony stallion dressed in a green suit and hat Rarity's coat hung in long, curled strands- shaking at the slightest movements "I hate to say ah told ya Twilight- but I told ya so!" A tiny Applejack squeaked from her position on a normal-sized Applebloom "It's the curse I tells ya!" The weasels soon joined the rest of the group in the library, their ailments varying "But- Fluttershy seems just fine" Twilight said "Yes, there doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her" The dust-mop said "Fluttershy? Are you okay?" She turned away "Is there something wrong with you?" She silently nodded "Would you care to tell us?" She shrank away "So you're not going to tell us?" She nodded "Yes you're not? Or yes you will?" Applejack ran across a desk "Good gravy girl, what's wrong with you?" "I don't want to talk about it..." Spike sputtered and he and the weasels burst into fits of laughter "This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We've got 'Harity', 'Rainbow Crash', 'Spittie Pie', 'Appleteeny', 'Flutterguy', and-" Spike stopped "Eh, I got nothing- Twilight Sparkle, I mean seriously- I can't even work with that" "Stop that laughing!" All the weasels stopped, not because Smart Ass said it- like he usually did- it came from Wheezy Spike stopped too, after recieving glares Everypony turned to Wheezy, and he felt his cheeks grow hot "Wh-what are you starin' at?" "Ha Ha Ha. This is no joke Spike, now start looking for more books so I can find a cure" Spike groaned and set to his task "I think we'll find the cure for this curse at Zecora's place" Rainbow said, crashing into another bookshelf "It's not a curse!" Twilight said "I agree with Dash" Applejack said "We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!" "It's not a hex either!" Twilight and Flasher shouted As the six mares and seven weasels-turned-ponies argued, Applebloom mused to herself "This is all my fault, if I hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this woulda happened" Applebloom started to trot out of the library "I just gotta fix this" "Now just where does she think she's goin' this time?" Applejack asked herself, seeing Applebloom exit the library She jumped into Applebloom's tail as the filly walked off "I don't care what you say Twilight! It's time to pony-up and confront Zecora" Rainbow said "C'mon girls! Are you with me?" "I thtam" Pinkie said "And I as well" Rarity said "I don't know...seems awfully dangerous" Fluttershy said, sending Spike and the stallions into a fit of giggles "How about you Applejack? Applejack?" "The's gtone" "Or somepony stepped on her!" Rarity screamed Everypony quickly checked their hooves- nothing "Applebloom is gone too" Twilight said, after doing a check around the library "I bet they went after Zecora" Rainbow said "We'll we'd better go find them- come on girls, let's go" Twilight said, leading them out of the library "Oh dear..." Rarity said, trying to move forward She was oblivious to the fact that Pinkie was standing on one of her coat strands Rainbow crashed into the wall of the library, leaving Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Spike in the library "Uhh, Spike? Are you coming?" "Nope...ehhh, gotta stay here and look for a cure" X Applebloom ran through the entrance to the forest, charging in more confidently than before "Stop right there" Applebloom stopped to find the source of the voice, she looked up and saw a tiny Applejack pop out of her mane "You turn around right now, missy" Applebloom smirked to herself "No" "No? You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister" Applebloom tossed her up and set her on a nearby branch "Sorry Applejack, but I'm the big sister now" Applebloom giggled "Applebloom, you come back here right this instant!" Applejack shouted "I'm gonna tell Big MacIntosh on you!" She shouted childishly "Oh ponyfeathers..." X Twilight and the group ran into the forest, much the same way Applebloom did "Come on girls, we've got to get to Zecora's!" Twilight said, leading "Hurry!" Rarity tripped and skidded Greasy helped her up and they continued running "Easier said than done" "Wait for me!" Rainbow said, crashing into a bush- and then a tree Rainbow groaned as Applejack comically popped out of her mouth "Rainbow! Thanks for the rescue- there's no time to lose" Applejack hopped on Rainbow's back and urged her forward "Giddy up pony!" "Excuse me?" Applejack gave a sharp kick and Rainbow zig-zagged across the sky- going this way and that "No Rainbow Dash, the other way!" X "Oh my- I look horrible!" Rarity said "Tthith plathe lookthe horrible" Pinkie said, lifting Rarity's curls "Oh my, that place really does look horrible" They peeked into the hut, seeing tiki masks and pouches hanging from the ceiling, among other things "Nice decorations, if you like creepy" Zecora herself walked into the hut, the group outside ducking out of sight She poured something into a bubbling pot, then started chanting "Tthet plathing a curthe! Thet plathing a curthe!" Pinkie said, pointing into the hut "She stole your song?" Rarity asked Flasher and Wheezy snorted "Pinkie- it doesn't sound anything like your song" Twilight said Pinkie looked at Fluttershy with puppy-eyes Fluttershy sighed and sung Pinkie's 'enchantress' song "Oh jeez, not again" Smart Ass face-hoofed "You saw those terrible things, now do you believe us Twilight?" Rarity asked "Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling couldron? Everything is pointing to Zecora being bad" Twilight admitted "Or- maybe she's just making soup" "Hmm, the perfect temperature for ponies I presume- now, where is that little Applebloom?" "Or- what if she's making Applebloom soup?" Their screams were interupted by Rainbow sailing into view "I'm comin' for ya Applebloom!" Applejack cried They burst into the hut, suprising Zecora "What have you done with Applebloom?" Twilight asked as she and the others piled into the hut Applejack lassoed Zecora's ear, then proceeded to wrestle with it "Ponies, what is this you-" Zecora was cut off as Rainbow knocked over the couldron of bubbling green liquid "Ah! Get back! It's DIP!" Stupid shouted, backing out of the hut "You know not what you do, you've gone and spilled my precious brew" "We're on to you, Zecora- I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming" "You made me look rediculous" Rarity said "You made me sound rediculous" Fluttershy said Pinkie said something garbled "You ruined my horn" "How dare you, you destroy my home, destroy my work, and you rudely accuse me of being a jerk?" "You put this curse on us, now you're gonna uncurse us" "It is unwise to venture down this road, your actions will make my anger explode" "Where is Applebloom?" Twilight said, locking heads with Zecora "Zecora, I think I found all of the things you asked for" Applebloom said, walking into the hut "What in Ponyville is goin' on in here?" "Applebloom! You're okay!" "Why wouldn't I be?" "Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us, and was going to cook you up into soup" Twilight said There was a pause before Applebloom and Zecora laughed "Oh Twilight, did those silly fillies finally get in your head? You know there's no such thing as a curse" "Applebloom, sweetie, you can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse" "This isn't a curse" "If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quiet exact" They all thought back to Zecora's words "It was a warnin', about that blue plant- it's called Poison Joke" "That plant is much like Poison Oak, but its results are like a joke" "What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asked from atop Zecora "It means this plant breed wrath, instead this plant wants a laugh" "Will somepony please talk normal?" "I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Applebloom, we ran into the Poison Joke- all our problems are just a little joke the plants played on us" "Little jokes? Very funny" "Okay fine, but what about the couldron?" Rainbow asked "And the chanting?" "And the creepy decor" "Treasures of the native land where I am from, this one speaks hello, and this one speaks welcome" "Not welcomed at all, if you ask me" Rarity said "The words I chanted were from olden times, something you call nursery rhymes" "But- the couldron, the Applebloom soup?" "Looky here Twilight, that pot of water wasn't for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients- the cure for Poison Joke is a simple old natural remedy, ya just gotta take a bubble bath" "But I tried to find a cure in my old books, but couldn't find anything- what book has this natural remedy?" "Here is the book you see, sad that you lack it in your library" "Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so...weird" "Supernaturals" Twilight read "Natural cures that are simply- super" "I- I- I'm so sorry Zecora, I had the answer the whole time if only I'd bothered to look inside..." "Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book" "Zecora? Would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?" "Mix it up I certainly will, yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville" "-but wheneve Zecora comes into town, all the shops are mysteriously closed" "Oh, well I think we can help you with that" The group was entering Ponyville when ponies cleared the streets and slammed their doors Twilight went up to the flower shop The door opened a crack "Daisy, we need to talk" X Rarity and Fluttershy swam in the bath, Pinkie and Psycho performing a double-cannonball from above, splashing water everywhere The stallion went under, then surfaced as a weasel- Pinkie's tongue returning to normal as well