I’ve been avoiding Pinkie for the past few days now. God I’m such an asshole! It's just, I can't be around her anymore. Everytime I see her from afar I feel a tightness in my chest. When she passes by I feel as if the world around me slows. I hate to admit what I’m feeling, because I’m afraid of what may happen. It’s the fear that is getting to me now. I know what I feel and I know what I want, but, I fear what I might lose because of it.
I let out a sigh as I shake my head.
Today started as a particularly bad day. Like I said before. I’ve been avoiding Pinkie as much as I could. Just giving her small waves as I pass by, telling her that I was on the job and couldn't stop to chat. The look on her face each passing day made my heart hurt and my anger build, anger towards my cowardice. Today though, today changed quickly. All I could gather is that Pinkie had been talking to Dash about my sudden personality change. And Rainbow, being the kind soul she is, decided to put her muzzle into it. I guess it was bound to happen eventually. At least it got me off my ass. I can't thank Rainbow enough to be honest.
I sit in my home sulking as I have been doing a lot lately. My mind just thinking about Pinkie. I sit and try to build up the nerve to go to Sugarcube corner and just tell her how I feel. Though every time I get to my front door, ready to take the first step out, the self doubt crushes me into submission. So after that I just sit with a beer in my hand and berate myself for how weak I am. It seems my self loathing will have to wait. Someone is banging on my door like a SWAT officer with a warrant for my arrest.
“Anon!” Rainbow, and she sounds pissed off.
“It’s open, Dash.” I say taking another swig of my bottle.
The door is thrown open and promptly slammed shut. My eyes lazily drift over to see Rainbow looking at me with anger in her eyes. She walks up to me and swats the beer out of my hand.
“What the fuck!” I yell, angry that she knocked my drink to the floor.
“What the buck is wrong with you!” She yells in my face.
“Care to be a little more descriptive?” I ask.
She pushes me into the couch with her forehooves.
“Why the buck have you been avoiding Pinkie!” She yells.
“Have you even met Pinkie? She can be a little much at times.” I say in a condescending tone.
The next thing I feel is pain. After that I feel my emotions shift to anger. I move my head back to face Rainbow after she slapped me. That fucking hurt, hooves were not made to slap faces. She might as well have broken my nose while she was at it.
“Get off me, Rainbow.” I warn in a low growl.
My elevated alcohol level blurring my judgment.
“No! Not until you tell me why you’ve been ignoring Pinkie!”
I wasn't in the mood for this shit. So I quickly put my hands on her chest and shove her off. She is tossed over my coffee table and onto her back. She quickly gets up and lowers herself into a fighting stance. I stand up and put my fists up as well.
“You wanna go!” I scream. I wave her to come at me. “Then come get some baby, because you know I will whip that candy ass all around my house and then all over Ponyville!”
I know as well as her that she couldn't take me in a real fight. We have gotten into a few fist/hoof fights before. Let’s just say we’re both terrible drunks, sometimes we escalate things quickly. The thing is she has always gotten her ass handed to her many times. Not that she didn't leave me bruised, but when it was all said and done, she was way worse for wear than I was.
She returns to her normal stance as I slowly lower my fists. She is still looking at me with a death glare. I just roll my eyes as I fall back onto the couch.
“Why have you be-”
I cut her off. “Yeah, yeah. I heard.”
I let out a sigh as I put my face into my hands. Slowly, what had just happened comes to the part of my still working mind. I hear the soft click clack of hooves as a weight shifts against me.
“What’s going on with you knucklehead?” Rainbow asks. “No pony has talked to you for more than a few minutes. Even we haven't been hanging out.” I feel a hoof on my cheek as Rainbow forces me from my hands to look at her. “What’s going on?”
Another sigh escapes me.
“You know what it is, Dash.” I admit.
“Pinkie?” I nod. “What about her?”
I shake my head. “I-I just can't be around her, Rainbow. Everytime I see her I feel my heart skip a beat. I get shortness of breath. I know I like her but... But...”
“But what?” Rainbow presses.
I look at her. “I’m so scared, Rainbow. I can't help but think of all the ifs. What if Pinkie doesn't like me. What if she rejects me?”
“What’s the matter? If she doesn't like you then find another pony.” Rainbow states.
“Rainbow, I can't do that... Pinkie is... She’s more than that.”
That gains a look of shock from Rainbow Dash. “Anon, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying. Are you?”
Another sigh leaves me as I look at the wall ahead of us.
“I think I love her. I can't see myself with any other pony. I don’t know, it’s just what I feel.”
“B-But you haven't even dated yet!” Rainbow tries to protest.
“Rainbow, Pinkie and I have been friends since the start. It’s already been how many years?”
“Yeah bu-” She cuts herself off. “Are you really sure?”
“I think so, but, I’ve never been in love before. So, I can only assume.” I admit.
“So why have you been ignoring everypony?”
I shake my head. “I’ve been trying to find the strength to ask Pinkie out on a date. Everytime I think I have it, I get crushed by so much doubt. I’m afraid of losing her, Dash. Even if I can't have her as more than a friend, if I lost her friendship... I-I don't know how I would handle that.”
“Anon, tell her. She has been so heart broken for the past few days.” Dash admits.
“She has?” I look at her.
She nods her head. “Yeah. She’s afraid that you don't want to be her friend anymore. Thinks she did something wrong.”
I feel my heart sting at that bit of information.
“She didn't though.” I say sadly.
“That’s just what she thinks. Pinkie may be a happy pony, but she can get really sad when she thinks something is wrong.” Rainbow looks off as if lost in thought.
I let out a sigh. “What can I do to impress her, Dash? She literally wrote a book on fun.” I reach over and show her the book Pinkie gave me. “How can I ever have a chance at making a pony like that happy? She is the greatest mare I know and... I-I’m just Anon...” I sigh in defeat.
“Hey!” I look up and see Rainbow looking at me in anger. “Anon is the coolest guy I know. He is strong, always looking on the bright side. Even when he came to a new world as an alien he took it all and made a life for himself. Now, now he wants to spice things up.” She pokes me in the chest. “I dont know who you are but you’re not Anon! The Anon I know would stop sulking and get his sorry flank out that door and ask Pinkie out.”
I can feel a small smile grace my lips. “You really mean that, Dash?” I ask.
“Of course I do!” She shouts. “Question is. What’re you going to do? Sit here and sulk about the what ifs in life or are you going to pony up and grow a set?!”
I can slowly feel a fire stir within me as I quickly stand up.
“I-I'm going to grow a set!” I scream out.
Rainbow is flying in the air as she faces me.
“That’s what i'm talking about!”
“One thing before I get going.” I say.
Before she could say anything I pull her into a kiss. No tongue or anything, just a show of affection for this wonderful mare that is always looking out for me. I pull away quickly before she could swat me with one of her hoofs.
“That’s for being awesome.” I say with a wink.
She lets out a groan. “Keep that up and you’ll be asking Pinkie out with a missing nut.”
I slightly cringe at that. “Heh. Sorry.”
She waves me off. “No problem.” I turn and get ready to leave. “One last thing.”
I turn around and find Rainbow pushing her lips into mine. She pulls away with a devilish grin.
“No need to thank me. I know i'm awesome.”
With that does she quickly fly out my home. You know, I really need to stop being so intimate with her. Just seems to inflate her ego. But, I can't help but like that, I like seeing her acting that way. She’s my bro and I wouldn't change anything about what we have. I shake that away as I focus. I’m going to go and ask Pinkie out and nothing is going to stop me.
I stand at the door to sugarcube corner. I'm shaking like a leaf and I’m full of doubt. I know that I have to do this eventually. I can't back out, Rainbow would never let me live it down. I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves as I push open the door. The first thing that comes into my sight is Pinkie. She doesn't look too good. Her smile at the time looks half genuine. Her mane looks slightly messy and her eyes are red, like she’s been crying.
I honestly die a little inside from the sight of her. Though as soon as she sees who is at the door does she lose her ghost of a smile completely. She isn't mad, nor is she sad... She is simply neutral and that makes it all the worse.
“Hi, Anon.” I can hear the forced cheeriness to her voice.
I close the door behind me and make my way to the counter.
“H-Hey, Pinkie.” I say still trembling.
“Are you looking for Rainbow? She just left.”
I’m now at the counter as Pinkie looks up at me. She looks far worse now that I’m so close to her. Her eyes are bloodshot and her coat is ragged as well. I can even see she is on the verge of tears just looking at me. I feel my heart break from this. I didn't want her to be hurt while I tried to figure things out. This only seems to push my resolve to a new found height.
“No, I uh, was looking for you.” I say simply.
That makes her go rigid.
“W-Why would you want to s-see me?”
I can see the fear playing across her face as she locks eyes with me. I gulp one last time and steel over my nerves.
“Pinkie.” I make sure to calm my voice as to not stutter. “I'm sorry for not hanging out with you for the past few days. I’ve been kinda lost in thought about something important.”
I can see how she is hanging on every word that leaves my mouth. I let out a deep sigh as I collect myself.
“I'm afraid to ask this Pinkie but... I need to know something.”
“What is it?” She looks nervous as I look to her.
This is it. This is what I have been waiting for.
“Pinkie. Would you like to go out sometime?”
As soon as that leaves my mouth I feel as if the entire world is lifted from my shoulders for a few moments, that is until it comes crashing back down. I still need an answer before I can relax. I look to see the confusion spread over Pinkie as she looks to the floor, trying to process what I just asked. When I was all but sure she would deny me. I see a smile spread over her lips. She looks up to me with those beautiful blue eyes, her smile on the verge of tearing her cheeks apart.
“Yes!”
That is all I get out of her before she pounced onto me. I feel the world lift again as I bring her into an embrace as I fall onto the floor with her in my arms. I can't help the smile that is on my face as we hold each other in that moment.
“Ahem!”
Pinkie and I both look over and see Mr.Cake looking down at use with a raised brow.
Pinkie and I push away from each other with red cheeks.
“Sorry, Mr.Cake!” Pinkie quickly says.
I nod. “Y-Yeah. Uh, sorry for, um... Something.” I try to add on.
He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “Ponies these days.” Is all that comes from him as he walks off into the kitchen.
Pinkie looks at me with a nervous chuckle.
“So... That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”
I return the nervous chuckle. “Y-Yeah, sorry if I made you worry.”
She shakes her head quickly. “No, no thats alright!” She then gets red cheeks as she shies away, pawing at the floor. “So when’s the date?”
I can't help but feel my cheeks light up as well.
“How’s saturday?” I ask.
She gives a nod as she smiles at me.
“Saturday sounds perfect.”