Chapter 31 No Man Left Behind
5 hours later
"Come on guys run faster!" Rainbow yelled.
Rarity yelled back "I'm going to get something in my coat!"
Vinyl yelled "I know the feeling bro."
I yelled "We being chased by a Ursa Major! Your coat can wait!"
Michael yelled "How the fuck did we get into this shit!"
Graham began "Well it started when we walked into this godawful Forrest."
Five Hours Earlier
"No man left behind." We all repeated before walking in the depths of the dark and scary course that I had already braved today with a fake Five Seven. We had a .44 magnum that Elliott carries around with him and a silenced P99 along with a couple of spare mags. We decided to put Twilight and Rarity in the middle so they could us provide light. Rainbow and Pinkie on the sides for added protection. Vinyl and Fluttershy on the top corners because they had they sharpest eyes. And finally Me in the front and Elliott in the back.
We walked along the old path waiting for any signs of our friend. I turned to the side and noticed that the trees were pretty fucking scary. They looked like someone put a pony on a tree, stretched their face, and hammered it into the tree. As I said pretty fucking scary.
We then heard a voice coming from the trees. It said "Who dares enter the lair of the damned?"
I yelled "11 badass ponies looking for their friend!"
It said back in a dark and erie voice. "Why should I let to live?"
Cory yelled "Because if you don't I will fuck your shit up!"
I replied "Such arrogance I should teach you a lesson. Have some time travel bitches!" It chanted something, disarmed our weapons, and we were dropped in a portal.
"Oh god it's the purple vortex. Again." I thought as everypony else was screaming their goddamn heads off we landed in a big city filled with griffins and beavers?
I look over and see a familiar face. Holy shit it's Vespi! Wait a second where Nico? I'm going to kick his ass for influencing me to my death with the "Power of friendship."
I yelled "VVVEEEESSSPPPIIIII!"
He turns around and waves for us to come over he says "Holy shot bro thank god your here! We being overrun with beavers and griffins because Mike decided to steal one of Eminem's songs."
I ask "Which one?"
He says "Not Afraid."
I reply "Nice. So how the fuck do we get out of here?"
He asks "Have you ever seen Tron?"
I reply "Yeah."
He says "There's a portal in the harbor somewhere. We got to fight our way there!"
I say "Ok I'm going to need a couple of things. One weapons. Two Nico so I can beat his ass. Three some badass pimp music."
Well I could get weapons, possibly Nico, and I the pimp music. It got it covered." he said with a self satisfactory smile.
"What about transport?" Elliott asked.
He replied "Well Ayan did have a homemade Blackhawk, but it fell."
Graham being the king of all movies yelled "Blackhawk Down. Wait Is he alright?"
He replied "Don't worry he will be back sometime soon."
We all said "Oh ok."
He said "Come on guys I can get you weapons, but Nico will have to wait."
We sneak through the town avoiding all the beavers, but bad luck strikes again. We turned a corner to see a large patrol of beavers staring us right in the eye.
I asked Grant "Bro what the Fuck do we do!?!"
He replied "This has a .0001 chance of working, but it might."
He pulls a card out of nowhere and yells "I PLAY BEAVER WARRIOR!!"
Well what do you fucking know. Beavers apparently hate Yugioh cards. Now I've seen it all. We then began our mad dash down the street.
Cory yells "Twilight or Rarity do something!"
They fire up their horns shooting wage after wage of concentrated magic at them. Killing them on the spot.
Then Grant picks up a stick he found on the street and yells "Avada Kedavra!"
Michael yells "Grant noes not the time for some dumbass reference!"
Vespi turns over to the rampaging horde of beavers and says "Look there all dead."
Vinyl says "Whew guys we dodged a bullet there!"
Pinkie begins "You know what this calls for a Par--."
Thank god Rainbow Dash had taken the on the task of stuffing her hoof in Pinkie's mouth before she attracted more beavers. Rainbow asked "So how long until the harbor? How you holding up Shy?"
Fluttershy said "I didn't want to see those beavers die, but they were trying to hurt us so I guess that's all right."
Vespi said "There Aferican so there some nasty ass motha truckers."
Rarity said "So honey when do we get to the harbor? There's simply to much dirt around here for my coat to handle!"
He said "In about a minute we will arrive soon."
I said "Guys do you see that line?"
Vespi yelled "Oh Shit it's a beaver barricade!"
I heard a familiar voice it said "Don't worry bro I got you!"
It was Nico and he had a Abraham's tank with a huge sticker that said The LOL Tank on the side of it.
I said "Nico I love you so much right now. Maybe enough to only break on tooth!"
He shrugged his shoulders and said "Meh you gotta start somewhere.Hop in."
We all crammed inside to the tank and Nico yelled "Forward Charge!"
We speed through the barricade and made it to the harbor in ten seconds flat. We got out and say a ominous purple portal.
I said to Vespi "Until next time."
He replied and said "Until next time." We then proceeded to brohoof, but before we went in I ran over to Nico and punched him as hard as I could square in the jaw. We then all jumped in the purple light to continue our search.
We transported back into a dark cave. We had Twilight provide some light with her horn, and we saw that Jacob was shivering in the corner of the cave.
Cory yelled "Jacob!"
He gave us a quick shush sign and pointed up to something that looked like a ton of stars. That was looking straight at us.
Current Time
"And that's how we got here." Graham concluded.
Vinyl said "Jacob, if we don't get out of here I want you to know I like you."
He replied "That would be really hot if I probably wasn't going to die right now."
She replied "Do want to go out sometime?"
He yelled "If we don't die, Yes!"
She yelled back "Well I'm sure as hell ain't dying now!"
We then saw what we were looking for, the Forrest exit. We dashed as quickly as we could out of that condemned Forrest. Luckily it didn't follow us, but just let out a loud roar and returned to its slumbering place. We were all exhausted. We stumbled to the top of a hill to see that Celestia's sun was just staring to peak over the horizon.