//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Mysterious Mishaps // Story: A Loco Motion Picture // by Locomotion //------------------------------// Back at the hotel, I found out that I wasn't the only one to have been confronted by that stallion. Lickety-Split, who was starring alongside me as a colt named Chocolate Chip Cookie (or simply Cookie for short), came up to me in the lounge shortly after we had eaten, and asked if Tarquin had really had any major failures when it came to his films. I was rather taken aback by this. “Why would anypony think that?” I quizzed. “I dunno,” he answered, “but the stallion who was talking to me earlier certainly seemed to think so. He was going on about Tarquin simply acting like a successful director so that nopony would realise how hopeless he is at making films...which I take it isn't true?” “As an avid fan of his films, I can vouch for that,” I affirmed. “You were talking with a charcoal-coloured camera-pony, I take it?” “Yeah, that's the one. Only thing is...” Lickety-Split paused and looked over his shoulder, confusing me even further. “...I'm not really sure he was actually part of Tarquin's film crew in the first place.” That really caught me out, I tell you that much. For a while, I was just stood there, gaping at Lickety-Split in baffled disbelief. I just wanted to go into a rant there and then, but words failed me altogether. “He had asked me to name whatever films Tarquin had succeeded at, but Tarquin came up and demanded to know what he was doing among the film crew before I could think of a few examples,” continued Lickety-Split. “He didn't seem that pleased to see that stallion, whoever he was, and ordered him to leave at once.” At last, I found my voice. “That doesn't sound right,” I mused. “Why would some random stallion be trying to pose as a camera-pony just so he can spread rumours about Tarquin?” “Dunno,” admitted Lickety-Split, “but I wouldn't like to cross paths with that pony again.” “Me neither,” I agreed, and tried to soothe my nerves by changing the subject; “So how are the others doing anyway?” “Well, Tarquin's been pretty busy making arrangements for the next few scenes, and High Score seems to be spending an awful lot of time with that Babs Seed filly...” I just had to laugh at that point. I didn't know Babs very well yet, but already I was beginning to realise why High Score had been so eager about her being here in Ponyville with us. “...but I haven't seen much of Sweetie-Belle since we got back. I dunno why...unless it's something I've done.” “In your dreams, Lickety,” I assured him. “She's just excited because her idol's here and she wants to spend as much time with Lavender Rhapsody as she can.” Lickety-Split looked a little disconcerted; but before he could reply, he was beaten to it by the sound of rock music coming from the bar across the hallway. Once again, I could only chuckle as he and I went to investigate - it turned out that Lavender and Sweetie-Belle had decided to sing a bit of karaoke together, and were performing a rehash of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' theme song. I have to say, though, from the look on Lickety-Split's face, I couldn't tell whether he was baffled or disturbed by how well those two were getting on together, or whether he was just impressed by Sweetie-Belle's awesome talent at singing; but assuming the former, I patted my friend on the shoulder and said, “I wouldn't worry too much, Lickety. She may be obsessed with Lavender, but I'm sure she still likes you very much.” “Yeah, I guess so,” agreed Lickety-Split, calming down a little. “Besides, Lavender's gonna want to spend a bit of time in Tarquin's company as well, so you'll still get your moments with Sweetie-Belle,” I added. “Yeah, that's...wait, what?!” he exclaimed, doing a double-take. I guess he never saw that one coming! “What the hay are you talking about?!” “Hadn't you heard?” I whispered into his ear. “There's a bit of a rumour going around that Lavender Rhapsody and Technicolour Tarquin are really growing on each other, if you know what I mean. Dunno whether it's really true or not, but they seem to be doing a pretty bad job of hiding it.” We both chuckled as we imagined Tarquin entering a dimly lit room, with Lavender Rhapsody laid out on a couch in front of him like one of those French mares you see in paintings and such. The next few days went quite well for us. At the crack of dawn, we would assemble at the hotel reception before heading out to our filming locations, mostly on board a train that Tarquin had hired specially for his crew, actors, props and equipment. I became quite used to travelling out of Ponyville in the morning, acting out a few scenes with the others throughout the day, and then heading back to the hotel in the evening; not only that, but I enjoyed the insight I got into what goes on behind the scenes, from the make-up mare sprucing us up to the special-effects guys preparing the set so that we could simulate an accident or an explosion or whatever. Already, Tarquin had taken quite a shine to me, and we quickly became good friends. Every evening, we would sit in the lounge and talk everlastingly of films, trains and all our other interests, but always made sure we didn't leave Lavender out. There was one time, about a week after we began filming, when he confided that he had indeed fallen for her, but hadn't plucked up the courage to tell her for fear of ruining both their careers. Good thing she was elsewhere at the time! Babs and High Score were getting on pretty well too, so much so, in fact, that Tarquin revised the script to allow them to interact with each other more – in a sort of brother-sisterly way, of course. I had to laugh at the looks on their faces when he told them as much – that was just too rich! I tell you what, though, it so wasn't me who suggested it to him. Besides, Tarquin has admitted to being a bit of a romantic in some ways, so he's always ready to insert a small, subtle hint towards a potential pairing here and there. Anyway, all told, things were going pretty smoothly regarding all the film work we were doing. But on the seventeenth day of filming, however, things started to go wrong... The day pretty much started out like any other. We assembled in front of the hotel reception as usual, and once we had all been accounted for, we headed out to the filming location – in this case, at Ponyville Sheds. Once we had arrived, Tarquin and his film crew went about setting up the cameras and other equipment, and the Superintendent marshalled the engines into whichever sidings Tarquin required them to be. Around half an hour and a bellow of “MOVIE MAGIC” later, everything was ready. What was meant to happen within that scene was that my character would notice what he thought was a griffin saboteur lurking on the far side of the depot. He would then wander across the tracks to investigate, with Harmony, Cookie, Nightingale, Thunderbird and Clean Sweep right behind him in case of need. For that part of the scene, a special track had been set up so that the camera could follow my progress. Sweetie-Belle didn't quite get why it was there at first. “What's with the extra train tracks?” she asked, eyeing them in confusion. “There's loads of them already in this yard, so why lay an extra one down? And why isn't it wide enough for normal engines?” “Silly!” I chuckled. “That's not for the engines to run on; it's there for what's known in the trade as a 'camera-dolly', something that's designed to carry out special 'tracking shots' without wobbling or jolting.” “Tracking shots?” “It's when the camera follows you across the set.” I dare say Scootaloo must have been pretty baffled by all that, because she just went into an awkward silence before blurting out, “What are you, a dictionary?!” So yeah, with the sets and props all sorted out, we took up our positions ready for filming. The cameras began to roll, Tarquin called out the command of “ACTION”, and we were just starting to play out the scene when the pony who had been assigned to the camera-dolly came running across the yard shouting, “CUT! CUT!!!” “What is the meaning of this, Cannister!” demanded Tarquin. “I'm the director of this film – I'm the one who's supposed to be telling you when to stop acting!” “But boss, the dolly camera's not working right!” protested the camera-pony. “There's a horrible grinding noise going on in there every time I try to roll the film!” Tarquin looked rather put out. “You could have told me sooner,” he muttered, and made his way across to the camera-dolly with the agitated camera-pony closely following. Some of the actors, including myself, came to see what the matter was, but when Tarquin opened up the camera-magazine, the last thing I was expecting was to find the reel of film in a right tangle and the mechanism pretty much disintegrated. “How the hay did that happen?!” I exclaimed. “I don't know,” admitted the camera-pony. “I'm pretty certain I inserted that reel properly while we were setting up.” Tarquin pondered for a moment, examining the damaged camera. “We must have picked up a faulty reel,” he surmised at last. “We'll have to wait a few minutes while we rig up another camera.” “Or maybe somepony came and messed up the reel while we weren't looking,” muttered the camera-pony doubtfully. I wasn't too sure myself, but after that encounter with the stallion pretending to be one of the camera crew, I felt inclined to agree. There was something very fishy about this mishap, and I had a nasty feeling that worse was to come... Turns out I was quite right too! We eventually got the depot scene out of the way, but over the next week, the whole film-making process slowly became further and further plagued with all sorts of problems; props went missing or were discovered to be broken, false instructions were issued to the actors that had to be corrected later on, engines had to be taken out of service due to unforeseen faults, and there was even an instance of the camera-dolly derailing. It's a wonder Tarquin managed to control his temper throughout these mishaps. The following Saturday, it all came to a head. Our train was to take us out to a field near Delamare for one of the really big action scenes – the derailment of the first of a military train convoy by the griffins – and needless to say, most of us were pretty excited. But at the same time, I myself was rather apprehensive about the whole thing. A sequence like that would be the perfect opportunity for whoever it was that messed up that camera to strike once again, and this time, it might have some pretty nasty consequences. So anyway, we're out on the main line with our train being hauled by a Mustang Class 2-10-0 freight engine, No. 602. All the actors, technicians, camera crew, art directors, etc. are in the coach at the front of the train, with a line of box-vans behind containing our props and equipment. Sweetie-Belle and Lickety-Split are chatting with Lavender Rhapsody, Babs is cuddling with High Score, Scootaloo and Rumble are having an idle chat of their own, Apple Bloom's going through a list of potential Cutie Mark Crusader missions with some of the other Crusaders, and I'm talking railways with Tarquin once again. I still couldn't get all those problems we'd experienced over the past week out of my head, and kept wondering what kind of dastardly act might be carried out against Tarquin's filming company during that scene. Just as we had passed through a wayside station about twelve miles out of Ponyville, though, there was a crack from behind our coach, and we felt a sudden jolt as the engine inexplicably began to pick up speed. Leaning out of the window, I noticed that a coupling had parted, and the rear portion of the train had broken free from the coach. I think our driver must have noticed too, because we soon came to a gentle halt, with the automatic air brakes stopping the rest of the train some way behind. As soon as we're stationary, Tarquin gets out of the coach to see what's happened, takes one look at the vans and goes “By George! How in the world did that happen?!” Of course, none of us can answer that question at that moment, but even so, I had a hunch that somepony had deliberately caused the coupling to break. Unsure whether Tarquin would think I was jumping to conclusions, however, I kept quiet about it as the firepony telephoned Ponyville Station to tell them what had happened. The breakaway had led to the brake pipe connection on the front of the first van being ripped clean off, so until we could make it airtight again, we weren't going anywhere. Our driver stuffed some old rags into the damaged brake pipe, and a helper engine was called forward to keep the brakes off. Luckily, that didn't take half as long as I thought it would, so within about five minutes of the other engine's arrival, we were on our way again. We arrived at the filming location only about half an hour late, but that was more than enough time to get the accident scene out of the way before nightfall. Among the actors on the set that day were a number of griffins who were playing the roles of terrorists trying to stop the convoy, whose role would be played by the train that had brought us here. It was a really simple job; once the scene was set and the cameras rolling, all they needed to do was dislodge a rail from the spikes holding it in place. With the track suitably weakened, our train was reversed well away from the set, and the other foals and I, along with Lavender, took up our positions ready for the next part of the scene, in which we would come to see the passing of the convoy, but I would notice the damage that had been done to the rail and try to warn the crew. Since we could only do the actual derailment once, this part of the scene was split into two – me and the others noticing the griffins' act of sabotage (which would naturally require more than one take), and the accident sequence that would follow. It was probably a good thing that the scene called for a fair bit of caution on my part, because I still hadn't shaken the feeling that somepony out there was about to cause such a horrible mess-up that others might be badly hurt – or worse......it wasn't something I wanted to think about, but I could still feel the menacing eyes of whoever was trying to wreck this film staring coldly at me, almost as if my time was drawing near... After about four takes, Tarquin signalled for the engine crew to get the train moving for the crucial part of the scene – the derailment. Both driver and firepony were mere Earth ponies, and therefore wouldn't be able to escape by any other means than just leaping overboard, something that caused a great deal of worry on my part at first. Luckily, Tarquin had planned ahead; after the brakes were applied, he would teleport them out of the cab and onto a nearby field, well out of shot. As per the script, once the train and cameras were rolling, I ran towards the train, shooting sparks in warning and yelling for them to stop. The driver then shut off steam and slammed the brakes hard on, followed by a call of “MOVIE MAGIC!” and a flash of light as Tarquin teleported them to safety, after which my co-actors and I watched the train hurtle past us. With a loud clattering and crunching, the 602 pushed the rails apart and bumped over the sleepers and ballast for another few yards before finally grinding to a halt. “Okay, CUT!” crowed Tarquin once all the noise had died down. From the sound of his voice, I could tell he was more than satisfied with the way the scene had turned out, which made me feel a little more at ease. Anyway, having relocated the cameras for the third part of the scene, the crew scrambled back into the derailed engine, and as soon as we heard the call to “ACTION!” again, my co-actors and I ran over to the cab. At this point, my character was supposed to climb aboard and see if the crew were hurt; but as I was doing so, there was a crash from behind. I leaned out of the cab, and to my alarm, I noticed that the other engine had ploughed right into the rear of our train. No doubt Tarquin had been caught unawares by that crash too, because he jumped up from his chair and ran out onto the set shouting “CUT! CUT!!”, this time with a tone of annoyance in his voice. “Alright, who set that helper engine into motion?!?” he demanded once we had stopped what we were doing. “You people knew perfectly well that I only wanted the 602 off the rails! Now who was it?!” Nopony answered. I made a quick survey of the area, keeping a sharp lookout for that charcoal-coloured pony who had confronted me and Lickety-Split three weeks previously; but of course, I couldn't find anypony of the sort. Eventually, Tarquin came up to me and asked if I or my co-actors had seen anypony abandoning loco. “Afraid not, Tarquin,” I admitted unhappily. “I saw the engine crash, but little else.” Tarquin looked rather frustrated. “Well that's just perfect!” he growled crossly. “I should have sent that confounded freight locomotive straight back to Ponyville MPD the moment we arrived!” Lavender came up to him at this point and rested a reassuring hoof on his shoulder. “It's not so bad, Tekkie,” she soothed. (For the record, 'Tekkie' is her pet name for him.) “You could always pass it off as the driver having not warned the engine at the rear of the train; and besides, the script already calls for a crane to come and clear the line, does it not?” After a short pause to consider the potentially sticky situation we had been landed with, Tarquin's expression softened. “Quite right, Lavender darling,” he agreed thoughtfully. “Yes, I suppose we can still draw some good from this mishap, even if the rear-end collision was unintentional. I knew there was a reason I picked you as my leading mare,” he added with a broad smile.