//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Movie Magic // Story: A Loco Motion Picture // by Locomotion //------------------------------// Word of Technicolour Tarquin's arrival in Ponyville quickly spread round town, and when Friday came and my Dad took me to the Town Hall for the auditions, the place was jam-packed with ponies vying to get a role in the film. Many had already been rejected, but even then the queues didn't seem to get any smaller. Admittedly, I was rather nervous. What if I wasn't actually good enough for the role Tarquin had in mind for me? What if somepony else turned out to be a much better actor than me? What if...nah, that was just silly – Tarquin wouldn't just cancel the film! Once he starts on one, he always sees it through to the end, even if at one point or another it looks like it'll be a box-office flop. But yeah, even I know that being a railway enthusiast isn't everything in playing the role of one in a film, so I was silently hoping I wouldn't make a monkey out of myself in front of the others. Before I knew it, I heard Tarquin calling out “Next”. Nervously, I made my way onto the stage, my Dad whispering a few words of encouragement as I went. At first, I wasn't sure what to say – but then I remembered a really tense bit of dialogue from one of Tarquin's other films, and decided to give that a try. “Get the pressure on, driver!” I yelled, pretending I was on a locomotive pursuing a group of bandits. “We'll never catch those ruffians otherwise......what? Hot axlebox?! Right, pass me that oil-can! I'll fix it!” Having finished my line, I turned and gazed anxiously at Tarquin, hoping my quote had been good enough. It must have been, though, because he instantly stood up and stomped his front hooves in applause, proclaiming my performance to be, in his words, “perfectly executed”. Even some of the other ponies who were waiting for auditioning gazed in utter disbelief. Despite all this, I was still not sure whether or not I had actually won the part, and I tell you what, I lost a fair bit of sleep wondering if maybe Tarquin had decided on somepony else for the lead role. It came as a surprise when I came down for breakfast a week later to find a letter waiting for me on the table with Tarquin's name on the return address. Still a little unsure of myself, I opened the letter, and was delighted to find that it read, and I quote: “Dear Locomotion, I am delighted to inform you that following last week's audition, you have successfully secured for yourself the role of the lead character in my upcoming war action film, 'BATTLE OF THE GRIFFINS'. There will be a great deal of preparation required before production can begin, but I aim to start shooting in three weeks' time. I have enclosed a copy of the script so that you can rehearse your parts with your family and friends, along with a list of your co-stars, and would like to extend my utmost congratulations. See you in a few weeks. Yours Sincerely, Technicolour Tarquin.” And I tell you what, that letter more than made my day. Me, a lead character in a Technicolour Tarquin film – I could hardly believe it! But that wasn't all; the Cutie Mark Crusaders had all won roles in the film themselves, along with some of my other friends. To name just a few, Scootaloo was playing the part of a cynical young Pegasus named Thunderbird, her coltfriend Rumble was to be a sporty colt named Clean Sweep, Apple Bloom's part was that of a country lover named Golden Wonder, and Sweetie-Belle was an aspiring singer named Harmony. I even read that a cousin of Apple Bloom's was coming down from Manehattan to play the role of her character's twin sister Pear Drop – somepony by the name of Babs Seed or something. I could go on about the casting, but I'd just be galloping off at a tangent. Moving on from all that, I told my friends about my new film role, and needless to say, they were absolutely delighted. For a long time afterwards, whenever my co-stars and I weren't rehearsing our parts, we would talk endlessly about the new film – although we always took care not to reveal the plot to anypony else. Feelings towards their roles, of course, were rather mixed; Sweetie-Belle was a bit nervous about playing the role of a singer, and Tornado Bolt seemed pretty annoyed with the cheeky prankster she was to play, but Scootaloo quite liked the name and personality of her character, and High Score, another friend of mine – well, his real name's Button Mash, but he and everypony else prefers High Score as a nickname – he was rather eager to be playing the role of Pear Drop and Golden Wonder's younger brother Capability Brown for some reason. Amazingly, I myself found very little wrong with my own character aside from being pretty gifted with magic – but that was still a big problem, whichever way you look at it. See, I'm still only a novice at certain spells, so when I tried to generate a distress flare as required in one scene, I only succeeded in setting a patch of flowers on fire. That was definitely something I had to discuss with Tarquin when I got the chance, I thought. But at least I didn't have to worry about Diamond Tiara being part of the film too, because that would have made it extremely awkward for all of us. She had tried to audition, but predictably she was extremely snooty about it, and Tarquin didn't really approve of her attitude, so he dropped her. Goes without saying that she wasn't at all pleased at being cut from the film before she had even tried to make an appearance, and when she heard I was in the lead role, she was extremely jealous. “How is it that some puffer nutter like you is in that film and I'm not?” she scowled one day. “I should have been part of the cast myself!” “Oh, yeah, maybe you do deserve a role in one of Tarquin's films,” I replied casually. “Maybe I ought to see if I can get him to cast you as......let's say an 'extra'. That'll give you all the screen time you deserve.” I was only being sarcastic at that last part, though. I knew as well as Tarquin did that she didn't deserve any screen time at all, but I just enjoyed winding her up for the heck of it. “Me play an 'extra' while you hog the spotlight?! No fear!” Diamond Tiara protested. “Besides, what have you got that I haven't?” “A better respect for others, for a start,” I retorted calmly. “Why do you think Tarquin rejected you at the auditions? I mean, seriously, you're not gonna get anywhere in life by acting as if you're the Queen of this land.” I then put on an obnoxious mockery of Diamond Tiara's voice and said, “Oh, look at me, everypony, my name's Diamond Tiara, and I'm the stupidest, meanest, prissiest, most selfish pony in all Equestria, and I deserve to be a Princess,” before resuming my normal voice; “Well, nice try, Diamond Tiara, but you've already been beaten to the post more times than I can count.” “Oh yeah? Well what makes you think...” “But if it's any consolation to you, I've managed to secure a job for you at Sweet Apple Acres – helping to prepare for the Zap Apple harvest, that is!” The look of shock on Diamond Tiara's face was priceless! So yeah, after those three weeks of rehearsing – and having to contend with Diamond Tiara's whining and moping – Babs arrived from Manehattan, and Tarquin was given approval by Equestrian National Railways to use the stations at Ponyville and the nearby towns of Albaneigh and Delamare in his film, along with the route that connected the three towns together. That weekend, we were all gathered in a field about a mile out from Ponyville Central Station, preparing for the opening scene of the film. Already I was finding Tarquin quite an interesting stallion to work with. He wasn't as self-important or as opinionated as your stereotypical film director, even though to some he may have seemed that way; he was a pretty jolly sort of guy, very reasonable, very good at listening to others, and as I discovered when I told him about the problems I had with my character's magical abilities, he wasn't above altering the script to better suit the actors if need be. He was more than willing to make use of anypony else's ideas if he could see them working in the context of his films, but he was also extremely careful to ensure that they were as authentic and realistic as was equinely possible. That's what I like about his films – they're epic, but there's way more realism in them than you can shake a stick at. His magical abilities are pretty awesome too. Whenever he issued his instructions, his horn would glow, and he would talk at a volume that wasn't too far off the Royal Canterlot Voice that I'd read about – something he called his “Megatone”. And then there was his party piece... “Okay, everypony,” he announced as soon as the cameras were ready, “take up positions please.” I was rather confused. “Hang on, Mr Tarquin...” I began. “Locomotion, my dear fellow, I already told you to just call me Tarquin,” he chuckled heartily. “Now then, what seems to be the problem?” “The picnic hasn't been set up yet,” I replied. “Don't you want us to get the stuff out of the hamper before we shoot?” “Oh, that won't be necessary,” Tarquin assured me. Just as I was about to ask why, his horn glowed so brightly that I could barely see. He reared back, flung his forelegs into the air and, using his Megatone voice, he boomed those two immortal words, “MOVIE MAGIC!” The moment he had said that, everything around us seemed to explode in a brilliant flash of white light. When at last it cleared, I swear my jaw nearly dropped out of its sockets in disbelief as I noticed that the picnic was all neatly laid out in front of us! It was as if somepony had stopped time for a few minutes while he or she had set it up! “How did you do that?!” gasped Sweetie-Belle, equally baffled. “That was something I learned in my school days,” explained Tarquin proudly. “When making a movie, it's difficult to get things exactly how you want them for certain, but I learned that if I uttered the words 'Movie Magic', I could create a magical surge powerful enough to do just that. In fact, that's precisely the reason I don't leave it up to my colleagues alone – if you want something done right, you do it yourself, as they say.” Only then did I find my voice. “That's quite the talent you have there, Tarquin,” I admired. Tarquin simply waved a hoof in casual dismissal. “Oh please, it's nothing special really.” “Maybe in a perpendicular universe it isn't,” I quipped as I took up my position with the others. The filming of the opening scene went quite well for first-timers like us. Rumble and Apple Bloom did manage to mess up a few of their lines, but that was only in the first take, and the second time round, they made a much better job of acting out their parts – although Babs' initial performance was a little lacking somehow! After about six takes, we made our way over to the railway line for the next part of the scene. That was where we would be standing by the fence and watching a train going past containing...well, I can't really tell you who yet, or I'll spoil the story. Anyway, as soon as the cameras were ready again and Tarquin had ordered the train to set off, we all stood and waited for it to reach us. Soon, the train came roaring majestically into view, and after hearing Tarquin's call of “ACTION”, my co-actors and I began to wave cheerfully as it passed us by, Scootaloo in a rather half-hearted manner since her character wasn't supposed to be overly fussed about trains. As it passed, I noticed that the engine was a visitor from down south – specifically, it was Aurora Class 4-8-2 No. 7708 “Equinox” – and there was a unicorn mare aged somewhere in her twenties waving back at us from one of the first-class coaches at the front. She looked a bit like a lavender-coated, blue-maned version of Fluttershy. I couldn't remember whether this was part of the script or just a genuine overreaction, but Sweetie-Belle's waving became a lot more vigorous and enthusiastic when she noticed the mare waving at us. Maybe it was something to do with the actress aboard the train; I myself had seen that face before on Tarquin's films, but at the time, I couldn't for the life of me recall the name of that pony. But knowing that I was still on camera at that moment, of course, I kept my thoughts to myself. Only when Tarquin finally called out “CUT” did any of us say anything – but it wasn't me who spoke first by any means. “Oh – my – gosh!” squealed Sweetie-Belle in ecstasy. “Did you see that?! Did you see who was on the train?!” “Duh!” retorted Scootaloo. “Of course we saw who was on the train! What's the big deal anyway?” But Sweetie-Belle seemed so starstruck that she didn't answer to Scootaloo's snide remark. She just bounced excitedly back to the horse-carriage that was to take us back to Ponyville Central, where we would meet the actress who had just waved at us – and throughout the journey, she wouldn't stop chattering about said pony, whether any of us were really listening to her or not. Still, I suppose that's the norm with Sweetie-Belle these days. As soon as we arrived, Tarquin had the film crew unload a few cameras from the cart we had taken with us for props and equipment, and assembled me, Sweetie-Belle, Rumble, Apple Bloom, Babs and High Score on the station platform, where “Equinox” stood quietly simmering away at the head of the train. While they were setting up, he requested for me and Sweetie-Belle to accompany him into the same first-class coach as the one from which we had seen that unicorn mare wave at us. “I don't get it,” I remember saying as we followed him aboard the train. “How come you need an escort if all you're doing is speaking with one of your actresses?” Tarquin chuckled heartily. “Oh, I never said I needed an escort. There's actually someone very special in Compartment B that I'd like to introduce you to – and particularly you, young Sweetie-Belle,” he explained, smiling broadly. Sweetie-Belle's eyes lit up on hearing that last bit, but I still didn't understand why Tarquin was being so secretive about it. Only when he opened the compartment door did I finally find that out, for no sooner has he done so than Sweetie Belle suddenly lets out an excited gasp and goes “OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!! I'M ACTUALLY SEEING FACE TO FACE WITH HER AT LAST! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!” And that's when it hit me; “Oh, of course! You're Lavender Rhapsody!” I exclaimed. The mare smiled kindly in reply. “The very same,” she affirmed. “You're the leading colt he was talking about?” “Oh, yes,” I says proudly. “I'm Locomotion, but my friends just call me Loco.” “Pleasure to meet you. And who is this charming young filly here? Friend of yours?” “Yep – her name's Sweetie-Belle.” In case you're wondering, Lavender Rhapsody's a world-famous singer and actress from Sydneigh, on the Eastern Seaboard. She's starred in all of Tarquin's best films and many others besides, and from what the Cutie Mark Crusaders have told me, Sweetie-Belle seems to idolise her as much as Scootaloo does her legal guardian Rainbow Dash. The number of times she's gone on about Lavender's music and how much she wants to meet her...I'm quite impressed she's still had enough energy for whatever wacky attempt at gaining their Cutie Marks they have in mind! Even now, she couldn't seem to stop staring at her hero, mouth agape with ecstatic joy, and I had to poke her ribs in order to bring her out of it. “Please tell me this isn't a dream!” she breathed. “Oh, believe me, my dear Sweetie-Belle, this is for real alright,” chortled Tarquin. “Lavender Rhapsody is here to play the role of your character's older cousin Nightingale. Your sister Rarity, who by the way has very graciously offered to make the costumes for this film, mentioned to me earlier this week that you were a great fan of Lavender's music, and that is why I decided to change the script to allow you two to act alongside each other.” That filly was well over the moon with this news, and we had a hard job trying to get on with the film work due to her hugging Tarquin tightly and thanking him over and over again. I mean, for ponies' sake, Sweetie-Belle, I know you were excited to meet Lavender Rhapsody, but we've got a film to make! Can't you just save it for when we've finished, please?! Anyway, we eventually managed to get that part of the script out of the way – basically it was me and the others meeting Harmony's cousin for the first time – and after filming a few takes, the film crew packed the equipment away so that we could go back to the nearby railway hotel and get a bit of downtime before the next big scene. While all this was going on, however, one of the other stallions who was with us on the platform, a charcoal-coloured Earth pony with a dark grey mane and tail and shifty green eyes, comes up to me and says, “You enjoying being part of this film then, youngster?” I didn't really like the tone of his voice, to be honest; it sounded a bit too smooth and calculating for my liking. But I tried not to show it as I affirmed to him that I was indeed enjoying it. He then gives me a sly look as if somepony's about to grab me and run off. “I just hope you won't be too disappointed when you find that this film isn't going to make it onto the big screen,” he adds in the most pathetic attempt at a sympathetic tone I've ever heard. “Tarquin does his best with these films of his, we'll give him that, but he's hardly had any success with most of them.” That was enough to make me grit my teeth in disgust. As I said earlier, Tarquin had a gift at making even the lamest story-lines good enough to entertain his audiences, and to hear somepony say he was a complete clown at that sort of thing – well, they might as well have been directing that towards me! “What the hay are you talking about?!” I snapped. “Tarquin's one of the best film-makers alive today – since when has he ever had a box-office failure, might I ask?!” The stallion gave me a look of disbelief as if I'm the stupidest moron that Princess Celestia has ever put breath into. “Okay then, youngster, name me all the films that have made a name for him at Applewood.” “Gladly – 'Bridleway Limited', 'Pony Express', 'The Big Letrotski', 'The Stallion Who Would Be King', 'Inspector Horse', 'The Great Appleloosa Train Robbery', the whole 'Harry Trotter' saga – even when he came to film 'The Manechurian Candidate', he didn't just stand around and say 'Oh, I'll just use whatever engines I have at my disposal here in Equestria.' No – he actually went out there to Chineighsia and spared no expense in making it as authentic as he could, even so far as to hire one of their XM Pacifics to pull the train!” I countered. “How do you call him a box-office flop after that, eh?!” “Yeah?” replied the stallion, holding up a video case as if to try and trump me. “Well how do you call this a success, might I add?” Well...nice try, except that the film he was showing me was nothing to do with Tarquin. I could tell by the signature on the bottom right corner of the case; it was a double-T, not unlike Tarquin's signature, but it was in a slightly different pattern, and the second T looked like a poorly drawn number 2. “Do you seriously expect me to believe Tarquin was the reason behind the failure of 'Wolfpony' when he never had anything to do with it in the first place?!” I scoffed. “He never even bothers with these stupid horror movies, any more than you seem to be a competent member of his film unit!” The stallion opened his mouth to argue further, but nothing came out. I guess he must have realised that I'd won the battle of wits that had been raging between us for the past few minutes, and that he'd have to back down before he made a complete fool of himself. So instead of digging an even deeper well for himself, he turns and walks huffily away, muttering something under his breath; but somehow, I was sure we weren't going to see or hear the last of him.