Trying to deal with her own emotions alone, however, proved far more difficult for Rarity than she first thought. Even though she managed to calm herself down sufficiently to not look all panicked in public, her thoughts about Spike still played on her mind, and her conscience was practically bombarding her with endless questions about her feelings for him. Nothing could defy how thoughtful the little dragon had been of her over the years, and after hearing from Twilight how brave he had been to lead the rescue after she had been taken prisoner by the Diamond Dogs, she couldn't help seeing something of a hero inside him; but on the other hoof, there was the question of whether she really felt so strongly for him as she thought she did, and if so, how would she get round the problem of the age gap and the fact that he was a dragon?
And then there was her one biggest fear of all, something that had stuck with her ever since her bad rap at the Grand Galloping Gala with that stuck-up excuse for royalty – Prince Blueblood! In her youth, Rarity had always had a deep crush on him ever since she first knew about him, and following that episode with Twilight's Gala tickets, she had been truly delighted to finally be able to meet him. However, once she was actually at the Gala, she soon discovered that Blueblood was nothing more than a shallow, selfish, high-and-mighty boor; in the end she had lost her temper with him, described him as a “royal pain” and even spattered frosting over him in her rage.
As Rarity made her way through town to do her weekly shopping, she frowned at the bitter memory of Blueblood and how upset she had been afterwards. Even though she had managed to see the bright side of the night, she was still plagued by how badly she had failed at winning the stallion of her dreams by the time she had returned home, and had cried herself to sleep just thinking about it. Luckily for her, Spike had had the presence of mind to visit the Carousel Boutique the following morning and see how she was doing on Twilight's behalf, and though to this day she was still angry at Blueblood, she was glad Spike had been there to soothe her ruffled feelings.
But what if Spike didn't really love her the way she seemed to love him, her conscience kept asking her? What if it was just a passing fancy that simply hadn't faded yet? She didn't want to experience pain like that again after what she had been through at the Gala.
“Something up, Rarity?” asked a familiar voice.
Rarity jumped and looked back to see Spike standing close by. He had gone out to fetch some extra ink for the library, but had overheard the pure-white unicorn muttering to herself as she was battling with her emotions, and couldn't help worrying about her. She stood firmly in place, tensing up as she tried to think of an excuse; her heart seemed to be telling her “To blazes with it, Rarity, just tell him how you feel and get it off your chest!!”, but her conscience was still holding her back with such force that it took all her willpower even to try and say anything.
“Rarity?” asked Spike again, concerned. “What is it?”
“Um...nothing, Spike,” answered Rarity hurriedly. “Got to go, mustn't be late, I have the thing at the place!” and she galloped away, leaving Spike at a confused loss for words.
Spike gazed after her, completely unable to make head or tails of what had just transpired. Normally Rarity was just as thoughtful towards him as he liked to think he was to her – maybe even more, considering how concerned she had been when he decided to head off to the Dragon Kingdom on that self-discovery quest – and yet here she was making feeble excuses and just running off! Something, he told himself, didn't seem right.
It was lucky for Rarity that she didn't have any important orders that needed finishing the following day, but she still felt rather annoyed with herself for sleeping in. She still hadn't been able to clear her head by the time dusk had fallen, and had lain awake in bed half the night thinking about Spike. She had even dreamt about him when at last she had fallen asleep, and was almost reluctant to rise out of her slumber when Celestia's sun rose over the horizon.
Even after she woke up and started her day's work, she couldn't stop brooding over her feelings. After only a few minutes of stitching and crafting, she decided that she was in no fit state to be making dresses right now; her work was getting increasingly sloppy, and if she tried to carry on regardless, she would only end up with an even greater headache from all the inevitable customer complaints about poor stitching, inconsistent sizes and countless other errors. If any of that happened, her reputation would unquestionably be in tatters – and all because she was so preoccupied with worry over how she felt about nothing more than a baby dragon.
Rarity sat unhappily on her couch, too distracted to even notice the cup of Earl Bray on the nearby table. She had been hoping that a spot of tea would help soothe her nerves, but had almost completely forgotten she had made one in the first place.
“How in Equestria would everypony react if they heard that I, Ponyville's very own fashion designer, a pony whose designs are worthy of the Canterlot elite, had fallen in love with a dragon of all creatures?” she lamented. “I can't bear to fall from favour just because I have feelings for somepony...I mean, someone other than a pony – but how can I possibly get over this?!” She collapsed dramatically over the couch, burying her head in a pillow as she did so. “This would have been so much easier if he was actually a pony – or if he was older, at least...”
Suddenly, it occurred to her – what if there was some spell that could make Spike the same age as her in dragon years? Better still, what if she could turn him into a pony somehow? Elated at the idea that her dilemma may well be solved once and for all, she got up from her couch and cantered over to the library.
Upon arrival at the library, Rarity immediately set about searching the Magic section for a book that might help her find one or other of the spells she was looking for. But to her utter dismay, even after she had looked through practically all the books in the section, she couldn't seem to find anything; there was plenty of other information regarding transformation spells, but nothing for turning dragons into ponies, and certainly nothing on ageing spells. She had just placed the last book onto the shelf when Twilight came in with a number of new books that she had just been cataloguing.
“Hullo, Rarity,” she said curiously, “what brings you here?”
“Do you have anything around here on ageing spells perchance?” asked Rarity hopefully.
Twilight shook her head in reply. “I'm afraid not; the only ageing spells I know of are in the Star-Swirl the Bearded Wing at the Canterlot Archives,” she told the white unicorn apologetically. “In any case, only alicorns are powerful enough to use them.”
“What about transformation spells? Is there anything on turning a dragon into a pony?”
“Why would you want to do that?” inquired Twilight, puzzled.
Rarity looked away, trying her best to seem innocent. “Just out of interest is all,” she murmured.
Twilight paused. “Um......not that I know of, sorry,” she said at last.
Rarity's ears drooped in dismay. “Oh...that's okay, Twilight,” she replied solemnly. “I didn't think you would. Thanks anyway,” and she turned towards the door.
Just as she had come out of the library, she noticed Spike again, this time with a bunch of roses. The little dragon noticed how downtrodden she seemed, and turned to walk towards her. “Everything okay, Rarity?” he asked anxiously. “You don't seem your usual self right now.”
But as soon as she saw the roses that Spike was carrying, Rarity immediately thought he must be planning on giving them to her, and completely lost control of herself as per the previous day. “No, I'm fine, thanks, Spike!” she stuttered hastily, and ran off before the startled dragon could answer.
Spike could only stand and stare in utter shock, confusion and disbelief as the mare of his dreams tried to get as far away from him as she could. He glanced down towards the roses in his hand, wondering what he had done; he had only gone out for them because they were necessary for a new recipe that Twilight wanted to try out, and yet Rarity had fled upon taking no more than a passing glance at them. He thought about all the times he had helped Rarity with her dressmaking, taken out her garbage or carried out other small chores for her, trying to work out where he might have gone wrong. But he more he thought about it, the more downhearted he became. Maybe it was because he wasn't giving Rarity any space – maybe she just didn't appreciate his company any more.
“Maybe I ought to just leave her be,” he told himself sadly. “Maybe I should try and hook up with someone closer to my age.”
With a few depressed tears in his eyes, he entered the library, left the roses on Twilight's writing desk and trudged glumly upstairs. Whether or not Twilight wanted his help at this moment, he knew not, but neither did he care right now; all he wanted was some time alone...
Having arrived home, Rarity lay across her couch tracing non-existent patterns on the heart-shaped pillows with her hoof. She was most disappointed by how badly her search at the library had turned out to be, and even more so that she couldn't seem to make a relationship with Spike work without being looked down upon by so many of Equestria's upper-crust. It was almost as if fate was giving her a choice between her career and her heart. She glanced out of the window once again, morosely nibbling on a tulip she had picked up from one of the flower stalls; it was already three in the afternoon, and Rarity should have had lunch more than two hours ago, but she didn't feel very hungry right now.
A knock on the door broke her train of thought, and she gloomily got up to answer. Upon opening it, she noticed her canary-yellow Pegasus friend Fluttershy standing outside.
“Um...Rarity, I'm so sorry if I'm interrupting anything,” she said in her usual shy manner, “but I...well, it's Thursday afternoon, and I just wondered...”
Rarity's eyes widened as she suddenly remembered. “Oh, goodness!” she exclaimed ruefully. “I'd completely forgotten about our weekly spa appointment. So sorry, Fluttershy.”
“Um...that's okay, Rarity,” replied Fluttershy with a weak smile. “I thought you might be busy right now, and I thought I'd come and check how you were doing. I can leave it until next week if you want.”
“It's not necessary, Fluttershy,” Rarity smiled back. “I was just a bit distracted today, that's all.”
Not surprisingly, Fluttershy looked rather worried when she heard this. She and Rarity had always been best friends with each other, and to know that something was bothering her always made the timid Pegasus more than a little anxious to help – but then that was the same with all her friends, considering that she was the Element of Kindness. “Is anything wrong?” she asked.
Rarity hesitated. “Well...yes, there is something wrong,” she affirmed at last, “but do you mind if we save it for the spa?”
“Whatever you want, Rarity,” conceded Fluttershy.
As they made their way to the spa together, Fluttershy tried to make small talk with Rarity in an attempt to maintain a healthy level of conversation between them; but Rarity was still deep in thought, and barely said anything until after they arrived. Fluttershy thought it rather ironic, and a little disturbing, that she should have been the more talkative of the two that day, since it was normally the other way round. Only when they were going through their usual full spa treatment did Rarity finally come clean about the problems she was having with her emotions.
Fluttershy stared at her best friend, open-mouthed. “You're falling in love with Spike?” she asked.
“That's about the size of it,” answered Rarity, trying to keep her head still while one of the spa ponies carefully filed her horn. Deep down, she was already starting to regret mentioning it even to her best friend; so perhaps Fluttershy was always ready to lend a sympathetic ear as befitted the Element of Kindness, but it didn't stop her from worrying.
“That's...oh, Rarity, that's so sweet,” gasped Fluttershy, almost causing her white unicorn friend to turn her head in bewilderment. “You and Spike make such a lovely pair. I'm so happy for you.”
“Well if you are, I'm not,” confided Rarity glumly. “You may think well of my feelings for Spike, as does Sweetie-Belle for that matter, but what if you were another one of those high-class Canterlot ponies? They tend to be very particular about this sort of thing, and if they found out that so many of their dresses were made by a mare who is in a relationship with a baby dragon – a creature who happens to be a completely different species, eight years younger than I – then they wouldn't want anything to do with me or my creations.”
“I don't see anything wrong with that. Big Macintosh is about four years older than me, and no-one's ever complained about the notion of me going out with him – not that I actually suggested it in the first place.”
“Maybe not, but with Spike it's different. Dragons age a lot slower than us ponies, so by the time he's physically matured, I'd probably have died of old age.”
“Not necessarily,” replied Fluttershy. “My aunt Dancing Butterflies has a friend named Golden Inferno who works as an ambassador for Equestria in the Dragon Kingdom, and he's written a book on the life cycle of dragons. I actually have a copy of it back home.”
Rarity shot Fluttershy a surprised look as if she had only just noticed her. “But I thought you were...”
“Rarity, I haven't finished yet,” said the spa pony, mildly annoyed.
“Sorry about that, Lotus,” apologised Rarity. “Do carry on,” and she rested her head on the pillow while the spa pony continued filing.
“Well, yes, I am scared of dragons,” Fluttershy resumed, “but ever since Spike and Twilight moved in, I decided that I needed to know everything there was to know about them in case Spike should become ill or injured. If you were to look in there, I think you'd find that there's more to a dragon's ageing process than just greed.”
“Is there?” asked Rarity curiously.
“Golden Inferno had studied the history and physiology of dragons and worked out that certain other factors could fuel their growth rate, many of which depended on their subspecies,” explained Fluttershy. “Among these were bravery, intellect, anger, or even love.”
Rarity blinked. “Did you say......'love'?”
“Yes – with most dragons, if one fell in love with another, much older than he or she happened to be, and that other dragon, or pony in this case, returned those feelings, then the growth rate of the younger one would increase to the point where he or she would be at a more compatible physical age in at least one tenth the time it would normally have taken. It doesn't disfigure them in the same way that greed does, but the process is irreversible, and takes several months – even a few years,” finished Fluttershy.
Rarity paused, mulling it over. Now that Fluttershy of all ponies had provided her with a new perspective, she felt a lot less worried about the age gap between herself and Spike; but still, this was a dragon they were talking about. No matter what their respective ages may have been, the chances of Equestria's upper-crust ponies approving of somepony of the same class getting into a relationship with a dragon was probably so low that being hit by lightning seemed like an everyday occurrence. “So if I went ahead and showed my feelings for Spike......then he would soon 'come of age', as it were?” she asked.
“It'd take time, but yes, he'd soon grow to the point where you would never have known there was an age gap at all,” affirmed Fluttershy. “Does that make your problem any easier?”
“Very much so, Fluttershy,” smiled Rarity gratefully. “Thank you so much. You're the best friend a pony could ever have.”
Fluttershy blushed. “Oh, it's nothing,” she smiled modestly. “I'm just glad I could be of help.”