Street Sweep's Journal

by Cromegas_Flare


The Pain in my Head, the Pain Within

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Entry 1

    My heart aches... I don't know what to do.  Dreams that I''ve had since that fateful day still continue to haunt me.  I don't want to massacre my family every night. I don't want that witch to behead me. I thought talking to my friends would ease the dread I feel.  It helped a little, so that I no longer have to obsess over those thoughts during the day.

    Yet, when I close my eyes, I still see my fathers head mounted on the wall.  I don't want to see that!  But it's stuck in my mind, unable to die out.  What's happening to me, and why can I not escape?

    I miss her so much, my daughter.  I don't know where she went, but she's gone.  Now I have only little hope left, but at least my family helps me along.   I doubt that my wife will ever leave me, so I do have some hope there.

If only I could keep my thoughts straight, then maybe I could move on.
   

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Entry 2

    Today. It was today that I first loved my life.  Never before had I been free, even when I started my job all those years ago.  Just sweeping and cleaning, making way for all those ponies who were going about their own business.  Nopony ever said "hi" to me or my family, which is probably why not one soul noticed their absence.  I have to tell somepony, but the larger portion of me knows better, so I'm writing It here.

    It was yesterday, for my actions had given me an excellent night of sleep.  First in a long while in fact.  My psychiatrist never mentioned that this could be a cure for my insomnia, yet... now that I think about it, no sane doctor would prescribe this as medication. What I did was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time, the sweet taste of sweat and blood.  Never again will I go back, only bringing the gift of eternal sleep can ease my pain, nothing more.

    It all started with a simple thought, a revelation years ago, in fact.  I was asleep, a rare event that only happened once in a Luna moon.  Then it started, my worst day, only to be topped by days after.  I noticed that I had a headache, not like a migraine or some other abnormality in the head.  No, this one was more subtle and serious.  I cared about nothing, and wanted nothing.  I wanted to cry, yet not tears would form. I was in a state of empty loathing, the greatest of pains.

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Entry 3

    Oh yes now it is settled!  I have been lazy as of late, even so as to of which I forgot to write in here for the space of one year!  So now I have to catch up on what I did.  As I recall back to the time between the first entry to the second, that would be about three months.  During that time, I lost my daughter to a crazed foalnapper, and let me just say, my rage boiled up to a storm of death!  

    The only thing that mattered was to hunt the monster down, to make him pay for his misdeeds!  Compared to how I felt, rage was an understatement.  Never before up had I wanted to cause so much harm to a pony.  I hunted the stallion down, and took my knife... from there I pushed the creature out of the gates of life!

    I slept well that night, not great, but well.  My doctor said that I looked better the morning after. Of course, I never told him what I did.  He did not need to know. It was my burden to bear, and mine alone.

    Now, I recall the past year.

            Hmm, well... even as I think, I am tired and need to rest.  I'll pick up on this next time.

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Entry 4

    I can't sleep, too much is on my mind!  I have tried for hours, but now I am certain that I need to write this down.

            So, my time in the past year was abnormal, if not eventful.  My wife blamed me for the death of our daughter and somehow got my other daughters in on it, too.  So what did I do?  I killed them, simple as that, using my knife to extract their own will to live.  I did it quickly though, because they did not deserve suffering.  There lives were now useless, however.  

    No pony betrays me and gets away with it!  I'm just glad that nopony asked where they went simply because they said their goodbyes to everypony they knew before coming home that evening.  It was the perfect time!  So the next day after the deed was done, with them fed to the timberwolfs, nopony would suspect.  Yes Bon-bon would occasionally ask how Lavender Tulip was, but I just tell her that I had heard nothing from them since they left.  It was the honest truth.  Hey, that is a good song title!

    Gone they were, with nowhere to go.
                     Yet when the time came the went ahead.
   No place to turn, so they made their leave.
             Packing up, locking themselves away!

                                    Turning around, seeing the blade, there was no turning back
                                 Every choice brings a dire event that will bring you pain!
                                                   Cross me once, and you won't come back.
                                             And that is the honest truth.

                                                                             I don't care where you have been, oh no I do not.
                                                             I just want to know one thing, and that's if you cared at all!
                                                                                                   Don't speak for I know whats real
                                                                                                                You never cared at all!
                                                                                                                  That's the honest truth
                                                                                                                     You never cared at all!
   

That is the honest truth!

    It's a work in progress, but it will work soon enough!

Now I shall go to sleep, all this fun has made me tired.

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Entry 5

    I have to write this down, simply because if I don't, I will not sleep at all.

            Cold gray stone, that is what surrounds me, even as the long tunnel endlessly shows its length.  I find myself in the sewers in Canterlot, yet they have changed.  I start my way down, looking for something: I don't know what, but it must be important in order for me to be down here.  No, I keep walking down, even until I reach a gate.  I can hear my own heart in my head, even as I pull the chains with my mouth, just to open the blasted obstacle.  I could hear the moist drips hitting the ground, occasionally feeling the sickly thick goo land on my mane.  That is when I notice in complete wonder that all the walls are covered with slime.  Colors that blend, but yet clash with the damp area.  Never before had I felt so much confusion, the same question pounding in my head.  Where. Am. I!  No, this had to be bigger than what it seemed.  I continued walking down the walkway, right next to the liquid river that flowed eternally down the chasm.  I then find a boat alongside the walkway, a boat that was tethered on a guiding rope.  I hopped on, not knowing why.  Only the drive to continue kept me from running back to safety, wherever that was.  It only took a few moments for me to realize that the boat was moving, and soon had reached the other side.  My eyes were working as I took in the new scenery.

    Flat ground, but all red.  Green light shown from the cracks in the red floor.  Ahead of me was a pony, standing on its hind hoofs. It was featureless.  I approached the pony and soon found these words escape my mouth. "Hey, who are you? You look like a witch."  I tried ever so hard to keep my mouth closed, but my effort was in vain.  My last words being, "Wait, get away from me! No-ach!" As she used a scythe to cut my head clean off!

    Every night I have this dream, and if I don't wake up, I start over and dream the same thing again.  I don't know what to do!  Yet I have a feeling I should move to the sewers.  Maybe then my dreams will stop, or I will die.  I welcome either.

~~+~~

   
    A faint, lavender glow engulfed a bookmark as Twilight lifted it into the place where she stopped.  Closing the book, she went over to the kitchen to talk to Pinkie Pie.  There was so much at stake, and yet she could not read another word.

    "Pinkie, are you still in here?" asked Twilight, as she entered her kitchen.  Nothing could calm her nerves more then seeing that smiling mare humming to herself as she cooked the meal.  Sweet smells of cakes and cream, and many other wonderful treats filled Twilight's senses as she walked into the kitchen.

    "Oh, hello Twilight!" said Pinkie carefully.  "I have breakfast ready for you!"

            "Thank you Pinkie, have you already eaten?"

"Yep!" Pinkie said, enthusiastic as ever.

    "Good, because I need you to pack up your stuff.  We're going to Canterlot." She sat down at the table her horn glowing as she began to eat her meal.  Meanwhile upstairs, all her travel supplies began to move, being controlled by a Purple magical mist.