It was an odd rescue for an actress and a mechanic to perform. This Rainbow Maned stranger, is her name really Rainbow Dash? She was lucky she didn't crash into the waste disposal unit’s opening but actually stopped just short of the lid. Oh it made me sick thinking about having to pull her out of the green glowing ooze. Toot Suite didn't dwell on such thoughts, dumping her on across my withers. She and I carried her to the public laboratory. Surely not as spacious as our boudoir but it had certain amenities, a doctor’s kit for one and a chemical steamer which according to the headmaster needed adjustment so that the radiation could be ionized without giving anypony a close shave along with it. She just opened her other saddlebag containing a small ladylike kit for emergencies. Her goggles narrowed in on a blade of grass. The state of her hair and pulled a twig from its tangles.
“This pony was nowhere near Manehatten,” she surmised, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Fancy, please take a look at this lab sample, does this look like typical radiation to you?”
Basic rules of society first, no up-do, no clean shoes, no service, and it was not just the main rule at Filly Finishing school. Everpony kept their grooming trim and proper for a reason, if not for most importantly of all, horse hair is highly flammable. To please the ponies at the front gates I took out of the saddlebag a simple pork-pie hat. My forelocks tucked inside it as each of us dawned our aprons. It satisfied the lab ponies a little and curbed the stares. I adjusted the microscope, biting my lip. The slide showing the lock of hair had organic deposits of healthy gardening soil actually and the green flecks of ooze. It was typical bark found in trees. The green ooze and soot was recent, only forty eight hours old. According to Rainbow Fruit, he lost his wig forty-eight hours ago.
“My word,” I gasped, “Toot Suite, if you would be a dear, the adjustments needed for chemical steamer. They aren't needed for complete ooze.”
Toot Suite scowled in my direction. She complained about all those adjustments she made prior to asking me to look at a lab sample. Turning the gauge controls again. The little needles squeaked across the white in glassed in frames. Steam hissed out of nooks and crannies hemmed together by brass nuts and bolts. She swiped the water away from her fogged up goggles. Instead of angering her, I showed her my findings by hooking the microscope up to the projector. She pursed her lips. Eyes twinkling in the low light.
“Oh sure it looks like garden soil.” She snorted, “Or she could’ve bashed her way through the potted plants of our movie set?” She nickered, “Let’s just set the Chemical Steamer on Deep Clean. Put our colorful pal inside and set the timer to “Thorough””
“But the poor dear ran out screaming,” I begged, “What if she’s still in that panicked state when she wakes up?”
Toot Suite shrugged. With the chemical steamer being as temperamental as it was there was no choice but to wait it out. Cloth napkin laid flat I sprawled out an apology in as permanent ink as possible. I did not wish to be rude to the little gem as I tossed it inside. Toot Suite on the other hand skipped all bedside manners as she unceremoniously dumped the mare into the chamber.
Rainbow Dash was just beginning to stir when the door aching shut. Rainbow’s face snapped alert. Pounding on the porthole window, yelling to be let back outside, I held up another sign with I’m sorry written in large cursive letters. Toot Suite on the other hand nibbled her crumpet, watching the pony start to fight her way out. Karate chops here a roundhouse kick there.
I looked on sadly. Rainbow Dash twirled inside the chemical steamer like a shaken up fly. Her flapping wings accompanying multiple thuds.
Toot Suite sipped deeply at her tea. With thirty minutes left to go on the chemical bath. Rainbow Dash’s stamina was quite strong. She’d been fighting for several hours.
“My deepest apologies,” I called out sweetly. Again, waking up in a strange environment must be traumatizing, tiny space even more so for an athlete that’s obsessive compulsive on flight.
“There’s no use trying to vocalize anything to her,” explained Toot Suite around a mouthful of crumpet, “The windows are soundproof and thick so that the steam and radiation doesn't leak out.”
“But surely she’ll hurt herself again,” I cried.
“Your savior will be fine,” Toot Suite stated, checking her watch, “Please scoot the tea set over and open the window. If my calculations are correct and I open the doorway just a smudge.”
A rainbow came blasting out of the building. Throw me aghast this pony was wired to explode. Her speed sent dirigibles careening out of control. She looped dipped skidded sideways. Grabbing the nearest binoculars I galloped to get a better view.
Toot Suite however went flapping out the window. Where Rainbow Dash’s flight was a tumultuous array of dives and flips Toot Suite lazily glided along the Airship airways, banking shy of the zeppelin’s great girth. I couldn't quite hear what the two were saying. One of Toot Suite’s littler machines, the sonic ear, fit easily into any hat. I took the funnel out of the saddlebag and adjusted it onto my own hat. Ears tucked inside, I could hear everything that was being said.
Toot Suite seemed to be talking the crazed pony down. Yet it only seemed to make her more upset as time went by.
“This is not supposed to be happening to me!” Rainbow Dash cried.
“Now please Ms. Dash I know this may not feel right but I promise you industrialization is highly normal,” Toot Suite began.
“But not for me!” Rainbow Dash whined, “Where’s my house! My Friends!”
She fell to the clouds. Face hidden in her forelegs, her shoulders shook with every held back sob.
“Where’s Ponyville?” Rainbow Dash sniffed, “I want to go home.”
“Oh dear,” Toot Suite stammered.
“Oh dear,” I repeated.
Somepony out there might have wished for a pint of barley beer right about now or have more choice words that I was taught not to repeat in the presence of such gentle-colts and ladies. I dropped the binoculars. In a fit of anger I bucked at the wall, a little angry the mystery only deepened with our resident mad pony. She was the key to the strange incident on the set of our new movie. If we didn't get to the bottom of this then there might not be another Daring Do movie. I really tried my best for that role as Daring Do. I didn't want to waste all of everyone’s hard work for nothing.
Bells jingled at the door to the public laboratory. Pushing the tea tray back in its place, I ripped the packaging off of a fresh tea bag marked chamomile and filled the untouched teacup with hot water. The instant steep tea dyed its terrine home pitch brown. My crumpet lay untouched. Too worried was I to think about what could happen to that mad pony. She could have punctured a weather balloon with those front hooves or worse! Zeppelins tended to be large bags of hot air from what I know. One rupture would not only bash open the blimp on many unsuspecting Manehattenites. Rainbow Dash could have become Rainbow Scald. Inner temperatures of the Dirigibles are enough to fry chicken. I’d hate to see fried horse.
I shuddered at that last ghastly image. Crispy critter thoughts pushed my appetite away. I didn't see Rainbow Dash collapse on an adjacent chair. Her wings alerted me first to her presence. In Filly Finishing school some of my pegasi friends rarely remained still and the more energetic ones tended to hover. High energy and open air practically screamed the freedom of flight. Gusted wing flaps as she tried to balance on the uncomfortable chair.
I swiveled around the wheeled stool and put on the break saying, “Here take my chair.”
Rainbow Dash complied without a single pause. Her locked gaze showing the red rims of her tear stained eyes. She wobbled slightly, surprised at the lack of backing. Her wings had complete and free will to flap for balance. Her hooves scraped the metal stool. She arced her neck back and wiggled. Okay so our chairs had some modifications. Industrialization did bring many a creature comfort. Her wings locked to her sides. Gaze slowly looking over the tea set than to the chemical steamer. She stared at me, free of all makeup, no costume and no cosmetics whatsoever. I did make for a very unimpressive pony.
“Are you alright?” I started up the conversation tentatively.
Toot Suite fluttered in a little later. Her industrious humming as she rhythmically cleaned the lab. Documentations made in the public lab ledger. With Toot Suite cleaning that left me to keep an eye on our little foundling. Rainbow Dash laughed to hide the stressed crack in her voice.
“I’m the Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolt candidate, Awesomeness extraordinaire and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” Rainbow Dash bragged, “That’s the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What makes you think I need help.”
“You were sobbing because you couldn't see your house from up there. You just stood three feet away from a waste disposal unit breathing in toxic chemicals and after everything we’d done for you, sorry to be harsh but does flying into the harm’s way of oncoming traffic sound like you are all right to yourself?” I pondered, “You seemed raving mad.”
“You forgot fighting off a much needed bath,” Toot Suite added, “Oh wait one more thing, you crashed into a wall and cut off the route of several Royal Air-Navy Blimps.” She scoffed, “Not in that same order but even lab tests show you’re kind of out of your element.”
“My element is loyalty!” Rainbow Dash snapped.
I sat the proffered tea down in front of Rainbow Dash before the argument escalated into a fight.
“Ladies please,” I mustered shakily, “Ms. Dash this is Toot Suite and my name is Fancy Fizz. What she means is when you appeared out of nowhere on our movie set.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened in recognition as she remembered the fake jungle from before, “Yes that jungle. When you appeared on scene, you looked just like the actor and stunt double for our movie. We thought you were just acting and didn't know you were even in distress.”
“We didn't know we’d have a character literally trot out of the silver screen,” Toot Suite added, “What did you do before coming here? What is your world like? How did you get here? How are you going to get back?”
Toot Suite was a scientist first, ladylike bedside manner second. Rainbow Dash chugged the cup of tea and plowed her face through the basket of crumpets instead of the dainty one in front of her. Toot Suite quirked a brow over her clipboard. Quill in tooth she noted Rainbow Dash’s table manners. I glimpsed a ven diagram comparing her to our good male friend Rainbow Fruit. There wasn't much of a difference between the two counterparts. One was very in touch with his feminine side. The other was a real actual mare with a girlishness but not as profound, and raising her meter from Mad Pony to country bumpkin.
“That’s easy,” Rainbow Dash babbled, “I was helping Daring Do get the totem of paradox. My world is way cooler than yours. I don’t know how I got here and duh, of course I know how to get back I’ll ask my friends!”
Somewhere in the background the chemical steamer let off hot air akin to the deflation of a party balloon. Crickets chirped to their comedic intents. While Toot Suite’s deadpan gaze smoldered its target, Rainbow Dash clacked her hooves nervously together. Her eyes taking in everything else but the two ponies sitting before her. I marveled at the colors of her mane and how they seemed to change, whichever way she turned her head.
These little mannerisms I’ll have to keep saved in my personal persona for later. Between Toot Suite’s cool calculating ways and Rainbow Dash’s high strung habits, it gave me a better understanding on what Daring Do was like. What habits did she keep under control and what endearing traits made for a highly fetching pony.
I shook my head of such thoughts, being a pony seeing myself on stage was just weird but if I acted too much like one pony or the other than the acting could come off a bit forced. It makes the actress seem garish and alien even unto themselves. To appreciate old things usually meant respect and manners. I didn't want to drive Rainbow Dash away if she caught me mimicking a few of her nervous habits.
“Uh yeah,” Rainbow dash reiterated her tone again, “On second thought I might need somepony to tell me what the hay is going on.”
Talking betwixt just us, Toot Suite and I, we watched as Rainbow Dash darted in circles. It made me dizzy watching her. Toot Suite, saddle bags in place, trotted with that forced grace the Air Navy expected of all their soldiers. She didn't take off because within those saddlebags sat the marvelous Fake Wings. She didn't dare want to let down her guard.
“Tootsie,” I asked sweetly, “Are you sure it’s alright helping a complete stranger?”
Rainbow Dash was too busy gluing her face to the Dirigible windows. Half of her awestruck at the view below and half of her itching for open skies. Rainbow Dash knew how to make a scene. She interrupting the flight route of one of the commanding officer’s prized warships, S.S. Selena. Toot Suite didn't answer me for a time. Hoof clops and wing flaps puncturing the silence for several minutes. As soon as Rainbow Dash was good and distracted she hup-turned on one hoof, standing at attention. I merely stood back out of habit to give her wings room to move but she stood wing-locked. A sign of either extreme fear or controlled fury.
“It is not merely helping Fancy. I heard the word Paradox and our resident Mad Pony just brushed attentions with her alter ego on this plane of existence.” She hissed, “They didn't recognize each other.”
“And you pulled some extreme strings to take this complete and utter stranger to the princess why?” I inquired.
Toot Suite set her gaze to the floor. Her dusty blue hoof on the ornate door, glancing at Rainbow Dash’s squeaky attempts to allow herself inside Toot Suite and I together heaved the door open. Rainbow Dash zoomed inside. Her aerial dips and twirls catching the attention of all the merchants and mechanics. Her aerial acrobatics were a beautiful sight. Toot Suite’s steely expression broke only to here her whispers.
“Assets and setbacks. Asset? Rainbow Dash is connected to the incident at the movie set and is quite staunch in morale. We scratch her back, she scratches ours. Setback . . . eh . . .” Toot Suite nickered, “About that . . .”
Rainbow Dash folded her wings only to plop onto the table. Its slick lacquer made for slippery purchase. Rainbow Dash struggled to her hooves. Her wings slapped still to her sides. She peeped nervously around the crowd. She brightened upon the sight of one recognized figure. The Princess! In all her regalia, eyes nonplussed. This strange pony approached the princess not on hoof but by way of a long lost friend.
“Princess Luna, you’re okay!” she cheered, “Remember me?”
The princess’s teal orbs wavered back and forth. Her bout between containing Nightmare Moon and ultimately slaying the monster who sealed away her sister did not leave her unchanged. Her lacquer blue coat mottled with the spots down her forelegs and to her flank. Spots surrounded by a silvery moonlit ring. She raised her wings or as the legends say Nightmare Moon’s wings. The black, silver encircled blaze splashed upon her muzzle was not just a pretty coat pattern but a scar from that beast trying to devour her from the inside out. Everyone in school had been taught this. Her mane took on the violent cloud of a solar nebula darkened by the strain of the night. Her silver finery turned lavender. The black stocking markings of her legs started to spread up as blackness started to engulf her body.
“Rainbow Dash,” I hissed, “Watch your tongue please, please, please.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes wavered fearfully. The princess Luna’s innocent teal reflection of what she used to be so many years before devouring Nightmare Moon pelted against the surface. Rainbow Dash paid no heed to the surface. She curled up, scooting away in fear as Luna’s shadow grew larger and larger.
“Come on Luna you remember me. Twilight’s friend Wah-we-we celebrated Nightmare Night together,” Rainbow Dash begged,
“Come on it’s me. You've just gotta remember me. I-I-I I’m Rainbow Dash.”
Luna’s lofty silhouette chuckled evilly. The maniacal cackle of Nightmare Moon stained its fanged lips.
“. . . Get out . . .” Luna warned.
“Oh no,” I cried. Toot Suite cursed under her breath.
“B-b-but Princess,” chimed in Rainbow Dash.
“Out!” Luna snapped, snorting smoke.
“You . . . don’t remember me . . .” she paused fearfully.
Luna’s fanged mouth opened wreathed in fire. The glowing white consumed her cat eyed gaze. Toot Suite and I grabbed the distraught pony. The room’s temperature skyrocketed.
“OOOOOOUUUUUUTTT!” The Princess howled.
Fire licked at our flanks. Lightning swirled up the ashes. Cracks creaked beneath our hooves. The trio we had fled. We didn't see Luna’s anger give way in an instant. The Merchants had clung for dear life to the ceiling.
She stood alone in the scorched and derelict ruins. Ears pinned back she fell to her haunches. Merchants agreeing to her deals quickly just to avoid roasting alive but she paid no heed. She slumped to the floor. Tears hissing into steam before even hit the floor. Shoulders shook. The innocent Princess Luna reflection that no one paid attention to sobbed. Her shadow laughed gleefully.
Yet the Princess herself showed neither sides of weakness. The Princess drew herself high, her gaze steeled. She had to put on a brave front. The Merchants who couldn’t trust her only agreed to her because she commanded such power. And it was this haughty determination that kept any and all oppressors in line.
Meanwhile the three little ponies stopped at the opposite end of the entire zeppelin. Rainbow Dash fell to her back. Shock sucked the energy from her limp slumping form. Toot Suite used a marble column for support. I flung myself across the nice, heavenly cold floor.
“Okay, I’m convinced,” surrendered Toot Suite, “You are definitely from an alternate universe. You’re not as crazy as we thought.”
“What!” Rainbow Dash squeaked.
“Everypony knows that from the combination of devouring Nightmare Moon, her soul duty of raising both the sun and the moon with the help of Nightmare Moon’s added might, topped with the sun’s influence upon her magic.” I wheezed, licking my lips, I just suddenly had the oddest craving for peppermint sherbet, “Basically our Princess Luna developed the ability to breathe Fire.”
“And you waited until now to tell me this!” she shrieked.
“Yes,” Toot Suite laughed hysterically, “Even a resident Mad Pony knows not to fudge with the sun and the moon!”
“Tootsie,” I growled, “Watch your language, please.”
“Well next time don’t wait until afterwards to bucking tell me!” Rainbow Dash hissed back, “If that’s Princess Luna than where the hay is Princess Celestia?”
We exchanged a glance. Did she really want to know the awful truth? One hailed Taxi balloon later, we walked the Manehatten streets to a lone park. In the center laid a memorial. Ash and grime dirtied its features. Yet as the marble statue held Rainbow Dash swiped a wing across the bronze plaque. Dust had winded away.
Here lies the Body of Princess Celestia
Pray her smile shine down upon us from her soul sealed in the sun.
Toot Suite and I sat on either side of the rainbow maned pony who laid curled up at Princess Celestia’s marble feet. Toot Suite didn't have a dry comment to speak of this time. In hind sight, that very power is why everyone feared the Princess, it is only how she earned our respect by holding equestrian together did she finally stop shutting herself away in Canterlot. Rainbow Dash startled from my hoof stroking her back in an innocent gesture of comfort. Toot Suite’s wings draped over her saddlebags.
“I’m terribly sorry,” I apologized, “I never got to know your friends or your princess but if they’re anything like you. They must be . . . quite heroic . . . in their own right.”
“So where do we go from here?” Toot Suite asked, “Until I have more Data I can’t build anything to aid us.”
“My talents are only athletic,” Rainbow Dash added, “Not including I’m awesome but I don’t know what I can contribute and wait isn't being an impostor more your thing.”
“I’m an actress,” I stated, “And just because my flank doesn't reflect my current occupation per say doesn't mean I don’t have any useful contributions. I have an appreciation for old things and~ a knack for.” And on another note added, “You are correct in the glorified impostor bit. Let’s see whoever I can butter up to help us.”