//------------------------------// // I can see dead ponies...AND PANCAKES!!! // Story: Elliot The Crazy // by FoxWithAMask //------------------------------// Meeting The Family.   “GET BACK HERE!!!” Shiny roared as he chased me across the city. “WHEEEEEEEE!!!” I laughed, drawing stares from the citizens. “HI, I’M RUNNING!!!”   “PUT THE CUSTARD DOWN!!!” Shiny roared as I held up a bowl of custard. “...Okay!” I tipped the bowl over his parents.   “GET AWAY FROM BLUEBLOOD!!!” Shiny cried, pointing a spear at me. “Fine,” I grabbed a nearby pie and aimed at Blueblood. “AIIIEEEEE!!!” He screeched and bolted into his room. “Two...one...” “AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” He bolted out again, leaving a yellow streak along the floor. “...What did you do?” Shiny asked suspiciously. “Scorpions in his bed,” I shrugged. “How did you do that?!”   “ELLIOT!!!” The Princesses, covered in white sticky stuff, roared as I ran in the other direction. “GET BACK HERE AND SUFFER!!!” What? It’s ice cream, you pervs. “NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!!!” I cried.   “Ha! Not this time, deformed monkey!” Blueblood cried in triumph as Shiny took the pie off of me. “Awww! I wanted to see the stuck-up brat get his upcommance!” I whined. “...For the thirty fifth time.” “Maybe you will,” Shiny said, before throwing the pie at Blueblood. “YOU-YOU-YOU PEASANT!!!” Bluey roared. “HI!” I cried, grabbing a nearby bucket of water and drenching Bluey.   I was lounging on the grass under a tree. “HEY, MONKEY BOY!!!” “Huh?” I muttered, glancing up, it was Bluey holding a bucket above my head. “Oh, hey, Bluey.” “How do you like this?!” He dumped the bucket of water on me, drenching me to the skin. “HA!” I wiped the water out of my eyes just in time to see a beehive fall onto his head. “ARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!” He screamed, running around blindly. I looked up and saw Twilight Velvet, Shiny’s mother giving me a grin.       I opened my eyes to a bright new day. ...That is Shiny’s face. “Not the best sight to wake up to.” I mumbled. “Get up, Elliot, Princess Celestia wishes to speak to you.” He said, walking over the other side of the room and turning around. “What does Sun Butt want?” I asked, sitting up and getting out of bed. “I don’t know, or she would’ve sent a messenger, okay? And do you have to call her that?” “Yup!” I laughed, throwing a bucket of pee out the window. “ARRGHHHHH!!! MY EYYYYYYEEEESS!!!” Someone screamed. “Huh?” I glanced out the window. “Oh, hey, Bluey!” Shiny gave me a deadpan look. “Why did you even have that?” I thought about it hard, straining my brain to remember... “I dunno! Probably for that reason!”  I giggled. Shiny sighed, “Let’s just go.”   We walked into the throne room, Sun Butt was sat on the throne, guards standing nearby, all of them glaring at me. Wow, these guys hold a grudge! “Shining Armor, Elliot,” Sun Butt said, “it is good to see you ag-” “HI, SUN BUTT!!! NICE CAKES YOU HAVE HERE!!!” I yelled, scarfing down the last of her cakes. “I’m sorry, your majesty. He found his way into the kitchen again.” Shiny apologised, for some reason, that cake was goooooood! Sun Butt smiled serenely. “There is no problem. But, Elliot?” I looked up from throwing pies at the guards. “Yeah?” I blindly threw the last pie in the face of another guard. “...Yes, anyhow, you are going to go study with my protégé Twilight Sparkle, and help her...um...have more fun.” She trailed off. “Or something like that...” “I can HEEEEAR YOOOOOOU!!!” “Okay, I’m going to be honest; I’m just doing this to get rid of you for a while. You’ve been here for two months, we’re all getting sick of you! Happy now?!” ... ...I threw a pie in her face. “Am now!” She wiped the pie from her face. “Go. Now.” She charged up her horn and a golden glow surrounded me. “TellTwilyIsaidhi!” Shiny yelled quickly before I blinked into a library type building. Wait...that’s wood. A tree...library. Meh, seen worse. Sun Butt’s butt, for example! “Hi!” A voice cried. I turned and saw a purple unicorn. Her mane is bland. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.” “Hi, I’m Elliot!” I giggled. “I’m Spike!” Another voice introduced. I looked down and saw a purple and green...lizard thing. “Hi, lizard thing!” “I’m...I’m a dragon. A baby dragon.” “Ooooh.” That makes more...wait... “DRAGON!!!” I cried, throwing a bucket of water at him. Then a pie. “Hey, leave Spike alone! He’s harmless!” Twilight yelled. “Oh. Sorry, Dragon Bro,” I said before turning to Twilight. “Wait, you’re Twily! Shiny says hi!” “Shining Armor?! You know Shining?!” “Yeah, I’ve been staying with him for the past two months! Why am I still talking?!” “...What?” “What?” I pulled my arm back ready to throw the pie at Twilight. “...Eh, this is getting overused.” “...Let’s just go introduce you to the town.”   As we strolled through the town we got lots of strange looks from the townsfolk. “Why are they staring?” As I mentioned it they seemed to snap out of a trance and continue on their business. “It’s good to see that the Zecora incident has paid off...somewhat.”   We eventually came to a building. Like...one someone built. We headed and a quaint little bell rung. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique.” A white unicorn mare entered “How may I heAARRGHHHH!!!” “Rarity, what’s the matter?!” Twily asked. “T-th-that horrid outfit! I must fix it!” “...Yeah, bye! NEXT PLACE!!!” I cried as I sprinted out of the shop.   “Okay, this is Sugarcube Cornor. There shouldn’t be any trouble here.” “Hi, Mrs Cake, is Pinkie here?” “Oh...yes...sort of...it’s hard to explain. She’s in her room.” “Foooooooooood...” I drooled. “Cakes, muffins, cupcakes, oh, my!” “...You can have two things.” “Two Triple chocolate muffins!”   We made our way upstairs into a really pink room. “You stay right here. I’m going to go look for Pinkie.” Twily said sternly, as she left the room. “Okay!” Hey, look! A toothless alligator! Awesome! “Hey, man.” ... “...You’re weird as fuck, man!” The alligator yelled silently. “Thank you!” “GUMMY!! Watch your language!” A voice cried. “It’s cool. I’m fine with it.” I shrugged. A PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKK mare jumped out of Gummy’s mouth. “HI!! MY NAME’S PINKIE PIE!!!” “MY NAME’S ELLIOT!!” I yelled. “I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE!!!” Pinkie screamed back. “I’M NEW IN TOWN!!! ...WHY ARE WE YELLING?!” “I DON’T KNOW!! IS IT A SHOUTING HOLIDAY?!?!” “IF NOT WE SHOULD MAKE IT ONE!!! WHEEEEEE!!!” “Pinkie.” Twily reappeared. “OH, MY GOSH!! THAT IS THE BEST IDEA EVER!!!” Pinkie cried. “Pinkie.” Twily is stressed. “I KNOW, RIGHT!!” I shouted excitedly. “Pinkie!” Twily used Loud Sound! “HI, TWILIGHT!! IT’S NATIONAL YELLING DAY!!!” Pinkie cheered. “Elliot.” “YAY!!!” She simply grabbed me in her MAGIC and forced me out of the building.   As we headed to our next destination I spotted a grey dot in the distance flying unevenly. “And this is...wh-where’d you go?!” I was stood on top of a statue of Sun Butt in the town square. “DERPY!!!” I yelled up into the sky. ... ... ... ... ...GLOMP!!! I slammed onto the ground as a grey pair of lips made contact with mine. “Hey, E...El...Elrgy?” Derpy asked. “Elliot.” I corrected. “Elliot. Weird name.” “Says the talking human. Wait, that’s me. OH, MY, GOD, I’M WEIRD!!!” ... “Wanna go have coffee?” She purred. “That depends. What kind of coffee are we talking about?” ... “...The drink kind.” “Sounds good to me!” We headed off, after a few seconds a hoof slammed my left buttock. “Whoyhoyhoy!”