Twilight of the Flutterbat
*****
Applejack sat with her back to Fluttershy under the cloud filled sky at Sweet Apple Acres. She looked away pensively as she thought about what to say next.
“You’re impossibly fast.” Applejack began. “An’ Strong. Your skin is…uh…well…I don’t rightly know what your skin looks like under your fur… Your eyes change color… and sometimes you speak so softly nopony can even hear ya. You don’t eat or drink nothin’; you don’t go into the sunlight.”
“I er…uh…drink apple juice.” Fluttershy corrected.
“Oh, ah…right!” Applejack replied, as she glanced towards the sky. “Well, ah know what you are.”
“Say it… out loud.” Fluttershy commanded. “Say it…if that’s okay with you, that is.” She added sheepishly.
“Fruit vampire.”
“Are you afraid?”
Applejack turned to face Fluttershy. “…No.”
“Oh, because I am.” Fluttershy replied, folding her leathery wings around her body and shaking slightly
Just then, the clouds parted and a beam of sunlight shot down from the sky next to Fluttershy.
“Uh…I guess I’ll show you why I don’t go out in the sunlight, now?” Fluttershy stepped to her side into her sunlight, her fur glistened like thousands of tiny stars or diamonds at it reflected the light.
“CUT!”
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike responded. “I don’t know what that means.”
“It means, ‘stop shooting’.” The alicorn replied to the baby dragon behind the large filming camera.
“Was I firing at everypony?” Spike said. “Does this thing actually shot stuff?!” He asked looking over the camera. “Because that would be awesome!” He declared, holding up enthusiastic fists.
Twilight buried a face in a forehoof and reached her free forehoof over to hit a switch on the camera.
Fluttershy frowned. “Was that not good?”
Twilight Sparkle trotted over to the pony turned vampire. “It’s fine! You’re just not sparkly enough,” She explained. “MORE GLITTER!” She shouted.
“MORE GLITTER!” Pinkie echoed as she jumped onto the scene and threw a bucket of the sparkly substance onto Fluttershy.
Fluttershy coughed quietly inside the glistening cloud.
“Twilight,” Applejack began, “why are we doin’ this? It’s not gonna turn Fluttershy back, and it makes no dang sense.”
“It’s all part of my brilliant plan! We make the best romance Equestria has ever seen, and when all the money from it rolls in, we can simply buy all the apples Fluttershy needs. Besides, we’ll clean it up in post-production.”
“Ah don’t see how making fence materials is gonna help, neither.” Applejack added. “Unless, we’re planning to use them on Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide with fear. “Cough, cough…No staking, please!”
“Ah, silly Fluttershy! We don’t even eat meat!” Pinkie assured.
“And why the hay does she sparkle in the sunlight?!” Applejack continued. “How is that some big ol’ downside to being a vampire?!”
“It shows people that she’s different!” Twilight insisted. “That she has the skin of a killer.”
“I don’t want to kill anypony!” Fluttershy insisted.
“Uh, darling?” Rarity said. “She only drinks apple juice,” she argued.
“Also,” Applejack continued, “Why do ah have to have this big, dramatic scene where ah confront Fluttershy about her vampirism! You can tell she’s a vampire just by looking at her.” Applejack insisted, motioning out to Fluttershy with both forehooves.
Rainbow Dash descended from the clouds above, landing behind Fluttershy.
“She’s got a point, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said. She held open Fluttershy’s Wings, “Bat wings,” held up Fluttershy’s ears, “spiky bat ears”, held open Fluttershy’s mouth with her hooves, “big ol’ fangs.”
Twilight sighed. “Alright, I get it!”
“Ah, Twilight?” Rarity interrupted. “Maybe, I can be pre-vampire Fluttershy? I’m not really doing anything.” She added.
“Oh, good idea!” Twilight replied.
Rarity beamed and began to clap her hooves together. “Oh, yesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Stardom, here I come!”
“Pinkie! Glitter Rarity!” Twilight shouted.
“Wait, wha…”
“GLITTER, HO!” Pinkie dumped yet another bucket of glitter all over Rarity who began to cough and sputter.
“Now how in tarnation is this gonna work?!” Applejack demanded. “Rarity and Fluttershy don’t look nothing like each other!”
Twilight pounded this. “You’re right. Fluttershy?”
“Uh, yes Twilight?”
“You’re fired.” Twilight said.
Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief and wiped her forehead with a forehoof.
“Alright! Now all we need to do is shoot the scenes with pre-vampire Rarity, then transform her into a fruit vampire!”
“What?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “How the hay are you going to do that?!”
Twilight smiled. “Oh, I have a plan…”
*One day of shooting later*
The six ponies and one dragon all walked up to the now fenced off, vampire fruit bat preserve of Sweet Apple Acres. They all casts long shadows down the farms path as the moonlight beamed over them.
“Uh, Twilight, darling?” Rarity said. “I’m starting to have second thoughts about this plan.”
“Look,” Twilight replied, “It’s really quite simple!” She insisted. “We need to keep the fruit bat’s attention, and to do that, we strung apples all over you.”
“It’s just…won’t the fruit bats try to eat the apples on me,” Rarity asked, “and you?” She pointed to Twilight’s own apple wreaths over her body. “Why are you wearing apples, anyhow?”
“Well, if I’m going to be a good director, I need to get feel for what it’s like to be a vampire!” Twilight insisted.
“Uh, right…of course dear.”
“And I’m wearing these apples because it’s fun!” Pinkie announced cheerfully.
“Twilight,” Applejack interjected. “Even if this works, I still think we should be figurin’ out how to make less vampires, not more! I mean, just look at Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy began to pout as her spiky ears flopped down. “What’s wrong with the way I look?”
“Uh…” Applejack trailed off.
“I think she looks cool!” Spike asserted.
“Yeah! Me, too!” Rainbow Dash added. “Heck! If I my wings weren’t a pair of highly-tuned flying machines, I’d trade them in for a pair of batwings myself!”
Applejack sighed. “Fine, ah’m outvoted. Twilight, let’s jus’ get this over with so ah can go home and figure out how ah can afford to feed you all on a diet of apples.”
“Ah, don’t worry, Applejack,” Fluttershy began. “The seeds the fruit bats will spit out will grow into much nicer apples!” She reminded.
“Fluttershy, it takes six years for an apple tree to start producing fruit, now how in tarnation am I gonna support a flock of vampire fruit bats, regular fruit bats, and four full grown pony fruit vampire bats in that time?”
“Uh…I didn’t consider that…” Fluttershy admitted. “Also, a group of bats is called a colony.” She informed.
“Fine, whatever!” Applejack shouted in irritation. “I jus’ want to get this over with! Twilight, start castin’ your spell so we can go inside.”
Twilight smiled as her horn began to grow purple. “Alright, now let’s get their attention, everpony.”
“Whoooo-Hoooooo!” Pinkie shouted at the bats. “There’s some tasty apples over here!”
The black bats turned and focused their red eyes on the trio of ponies all covered in apple wreaths.
“Great job Pinkie, now just hold their attention whileAHHH GAHK! WHAAAAAA!”
That bats all zoned in on the trio of ponies, attempting to eat the apples each one was wrapped in.
“They’re in my hair! THEY’RE IN MY HAIR!” Rarity shrieked.
“Ouchies!” Pinkie exclaimed. “OW! THIS ISN’T FUN AT ALL!” She wailed.
“Fluttershy! Go talk to them!” Spike suggested pointing at the bats. “You’re part bat now!”
“Oh! Right!” Fluttershy responded. She trotted up to the trio of ponies that where being besieged by bats. “Uh, excuse me? Could you, maybe, stop attacking my friends?” She asked in a soft tone. “I mean, if that’s okay with you…”
One of the bats flew up to Fluttershy and began squeaking, its eye’s began to swirl in a hypnotic fashion.
Fluttershy’s own eyes began to match the bats. “Oh…well…if you’re sure,” she murmured softly.
“Uh, Fluttershy? What that varmint say to you?” Applejack asked.
“Are you alright?” Spike added. “You’re eye’s look weird…”
Fluttershy’s red, swirling eyes slowly turned to stare at Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike. Her head soon followed as she focused her attention on the three and stared emotionless at them.
“I’m fine.” Fluttershy said calmly. She focused on Applejack. “He said it was for the good of the colony that I get rid of you ponies.”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “But why would…”
Without warning, Fluttershy bared her fangs and pounced.
***
Applejack held a forehoof to her bandaged neck as she glared at pretty much everything and anything as she sat in the hospital waiting room.
“I said I was sorry!” Fluttershy insisted.
Applejack sighed. “Its okay, Fluttershy.” She turned to focus her glare on Twilight. “Ah’m more upset about someponies hair brained plan!”
Twilight returned the glare, her body covered in small wraps and bandages. “Yeah, yeah. Look, I know Fluttershy got rough with you, but at least you didn’t need a rabies shot! Have you seen the size of that needle?!”
“Speaking of which,” Rarity interjected, also covered in small wraps and bandages. “I hope Pinkie is doing okay. The poor dear seemed pretty upset about having to get a few shots.”
*
“BUT IT WILL HURURURURURURT~!” a bandaged wrapped Pinkie Pie whined as she sat atop the examination bed inside the clean, white hospital room.
“Just for a little second!” A white pony with a pink mane nurses hat with a red cross and a matching cross for her cutie mark explained. “And then you’ll get a lollipop!” She added.
“Well…” Pinkie pondered this, “I do like canOOOOOOOOWWWWIEEEEEEEEE!” She exclaimed as Nurse Redheart quickly stuck Pinkie with the needle and depressed the fluid into her foreleg.
“See!” Nurse Redheart began. “That wasn’t so bad.”
Pinkie merely whimpered in reply.
The door to room opened, as a glasses wearing, caramel colored unicorn with a brown mane and a white lab quote entered.
“Ah, Nurse Redheart,” Dr. Stable began, “Is the patient ready for her rabies shot?”
Pinkie’s face fell as her eyes went wide and her pupils shrank to pin-pricks. “But…I thought that WAS my rabies shot!” Pinkie said shrilly.
“Oh, this?” Dr. Stable replied, levitating that needle that Nurse Redheart had just stuck Pinkie with. “This is just your tetanus shot.” The doctor explained. He produced a needle several times larger than the one Pinkie had just been jabbed with. “THIS is your rabies shot.”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped. “No!” She insisted forcefully. “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” She screamed.
“It’ll be fine!” Nurse Redheart insisted. “Then we’ll get you that lollipop.”
“I can buy candy!” Pinkie Pie insisted. “I’m an ADULT!” She announced. She quickly grabbed the large needle out of Dr. Stable’s hoof and threw it on the ground, the glass syringe shattered on impact.
“Hey!” Dr. Stables protested.
“I’M NOT GOING TO BE PART OF YOUR SYSTEM!” Pinkie shrieked.
*
The ponies and baby dragon peered down the bright hallway.
“Well, that doesn’t sound good.” Spike stated.
Without warning, one of the wooden doors exploded outward, showering the hall in large splinters as a pink blur rushed through it.
“RUN!” Pinkie cried. “We’re blowing this house of torture and pain!”
Dr. Stables poked his head out and shook an angry hoof at the pink mare. “Fine!” He shouted. “Get rabies! Just wait until you see the shot you need then!”
Spike and the other mares sighed as Pinkie zoomed past them, getting up off their seats and onto their hooves.
“Can we please try to cure Fluttershy, now?” Applejack asked.
“Fine!” Twilight said exasperatedly.
***
Fluttershy shivered as she wrapped her leathery wing around her and her fanged teeth chattered. A torrent of water cascade over her.
“So…cold…” she uttered.
“So uh,” Applejack said, “how long you reckon she needs to stay in that there waterfall before she’s a regular pony again.”
“Well, the cleansing ritual is supposed to take 40 days and 40 nights.” Twilight explained.
“40 DAY AN’ 40 NIGHTS?!” Applejack explained.
“Twilight, dearie,” Rarity began, “Fluttershy isn’t going to last 40 minutes in that ice cold water.”
“Ah-chu!” Fluttershy sneezed quietly from under the waterfall.
“Aww, it doesn’t look so bad!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Hey Flutters, scoot over!” She said. “I’m gonna hang in there with you.”
*soon*
“I WAS WRONG!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “IT’S REALLY BAD HERE! AAAAHHH-CHOOOOOOOO!”
Twilight sighed. “I guess…I guess we should get them out before they start getting hypothermia.”
The others nodded in agreement.
**
“Ah-chu!” Fluttershy sneezed quietly. Her face was flushed and her nose was red. In addition to wrapping herself tightly with her wings, a large blanket was wrapped around her.
“AAAHHH-CHHOOOOO!” Rainbow Dash responded with a much louder sneeze. She, too, was covered in a blanket.
Pinkie bounded up with a couple of steaming mugs. “Hot Cocoa?” She offered.
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash smiled weakly as they reached out trembling hooves for the mugs.
“Any more bright ideas?” Applejack asked in a slightly disdainful tone as she raised an eye at Twilight as the group sat in Twilight’s library.
Twilight shot the orange mare a quick glare. “One, but we’ll need a Black Soul Gem.”
“Uh what now?” Applejack asked, knitting her brow in confusion.
“First we get the gem,” Twilight explained, “then I’ll use a soul trap spell on somepony…”
“Uh…that doesn’t exactly sound safe…” Applejack said.
“It’s perfectly safe!” Twilight insisted. “For us though…I mean, whomever we use the soul trap spell on will be very, very dead.” She added.
Rarity spoke up. “Twilight? Maybe we should come up with ideas that don’t require murder?”
“Fine, fine!” Twilight said in a frustrated tone. “I’ll do some more research tomorrow.”
“Well, ah suggest we keep together to keep an eye on them.” Applejack said motioning out towards the shivering Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. “They don’t look so good.”
“VAMPIRE SLUMBER PARTY!” Pinkie announced exuberantly.
Spike grinned and held up shaking, excited fists in front of his face. “I’ll get the fangs and capes!” He announced.
***
Fluttershy woke up in a fright as she felt someone nuzzle against her in the darkness of the library. “Eeep!” She exclaimed quietly.
“It’s okay, Fluttershy! It’s just me.”
“Goodness, Twilight! You scared me…” Fluttershy suddenly sniffed the purple mare. As she did, her mouth hung open and she began to drool.
Twilight giggled. “What’s wrong?” The purple mare craned her neck out and placed it in front of Fluttershy. “Smell something tasty?”
“I…uh…” as if in a trance, Fluttershy opened her mouth wide and placed her teeth against Twilight’s neck.
‘Click.’
The library was suddenly filled with light as the other four mares and spike stared at the scene in front of them.
Fluttershy blushed crimson as she stared back at everypony, “Mmmm…hwi…” she said through a mouth full of Twilight’s neck.
Twilight took her neck out of Fluttershy’s mouth. “Oh…uh…thank goodness you stopped her!” She said, attempting to sound convincing. “She had me enthralled with her vampire stare!”
“I don’t have a vampire stare.” Fluttershy insisted.
“Give it up, Twi.” Applejack said. She held up an empty glass bottle with an apple on the front. “We know you poured apple juice on your neck.”
“Uh…no!” Twilight said. “I was…sleep drinking!” She suggested. “Aaaaand…” Twilight paused and looked at the ceiling as if it spelled out what she should say next, “I accidently poured apple juice on my neck!” She said with a nervous grin.
Pinkie placed her face within inches of Twilights and stared at her suspiciously. “Twilight, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re obsessed with becoming a vampire!”
Twilight’s lips began to quiver. “IT’S TRUE!” She admitted. “I’ve been fascinated with vampires ever since I was a little filly! And when I found out Fluttershy was still a vampire, I became so jealous and wanted to become one myself!”
“Awww, it’s okay Twilight!” Pinkie Pie assured. “I understand! I’ve always had dreams of becoming a clown!” Pinkie announced wistfully.
“Uh, Pinkie?” Applejack interjected. “You don’t need to turn into a clown to become a clown. You can jus’ dress up like a clown.”
Pinkie paused and her eyes widened as she considered this information. “Gotta go!” She announced as she bolted out the library.
“So…so you all understand?” Twilight asked her friends tentatively.
Her friends nodded.
“Sure we do, dearie.” Rarity insisted. “And we know exactly what to do!”
Twilight’s face lit up. “You do?!”
Applejack nodded. “Eeyup! GET HER, RAINBOW!”
“Huh?” Twilight uttered in confusion.
Rainbow Dash gave a quick salute before diving on the purple alicorn.
***
Twilight grumbled to herself and struggled against her white straight jacket, and shot a glare up at the white cone around her horn.
She grimaced as she stared out at the padded walls around her. “Stupid friends…” she muttered.
The padded door to her room opened. “Princess Twilight Sparkle?” A brown stallion with a closely cropped white mane called out. “You have a visitor.”
Twilight simply nodded.
“HELLLOOOOO!” Pinkie bounded in excitedly, wearing white make-up over her face, bright red blush, a large red nose, and a white dress decorated with a candy corn and lollipop motif. “I thought my favorite, crazy friend could use some cheering up!”
“I’m not crazy!” Twilight insisted angrily.
“Suuuure, Twilight.” Pinkie said as she leaned her head next to the alicorn’s. “Because they lock sane ponies up in the crazy house.”
Twilight sighed. “Pinkie, you need to get me out of here!”
Pinkie began to bounce up and down on all fours around the room. “Why would you even want to leave?!” She asked. “It looks fun in here!” Pinkie began to throw herself at the walls and bounce around the room like a pink and white pinball. “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Twilight sighed. “All I wanted was to become a vampire…”
Pinkie suddenly stopped and eyed Twilight closely.
“Uh…yes…Pinkie?” Twilight asked nervously.
“You wouldn’t happen to have any apples on you, now would you?” Pinkie asked.
“What? Why would I have…” Twilight trailed off as she examined Pinkie’s face closely.
“Pinkie?”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“Could you open your mouth for me?”
Pinkie complied. “Aaaaaaahh…”
***
“Well, Ah’m sure glad that’s over.” Applejack exclaimed as she and Rarity walked down one of Ponyville’s streets.
“Hmmm, quite.” Rarity responded. “One of our friends has been institutionalized, Fluttershy is still a vampire.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s all wrapped up in a neat little package.” She finished sarcastically.
“Alright, alright…” Applejack replied. “So things aren’t over at all, at least with Twilight out of the way, things will be quieter.”
“Guys! GUYS!” Twilight enthusiastically shouted out from the sky.
Rarity and Applejack hung their heads and sighed loudly.
“You were saying?” Rarity stated.
The purple alicorn landed in front of them, quickly followed by a leathery winged Pinkie Pie still dressed as a clown.
Rarity and Applejack’s eyes flew open wide.
“Uh…Pinkie Pie..?” Applejack began.
“Hey guys!” Pinkie Pie said happily. “I’m a vampire fruit clown pony!” She announced. “Ain’t that great!” She asked beaming from spiky ear to spikey ear, showing off her fangs. “Also I broke Twilight out of the looney bin! Hurray!”
“I figured it out!” Twilight stated.
“I’m afraid to ask…” Rarity began, “but figured what out?”
“How to change into a vampire!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. “After we got attacked by the vampire fruit bats…”
“Thanks for reminding me, darling…” Rarity muttered.
Twilight ignored the white unicorn and continued, “…Rarity and I got treated for rabies! But Pinkie escaped before she could get her shot! Now she’s a vampire!”
“Yay!” Pinkie exclaimed as she flapped around the group in a circle. “Once again, disregarding society’s suggestions and common sense has paid off for Pinkie Pie! Wheeeeeeeee!”
“Sugarcube,” Applejack said to Twilight, “ah’m sorry, but this whole mess has got you acting seven kinds of crazy.”
“Oh yeah?” Twilight replied. “Would a crazy pony ask you to cover her in apples she vampire fruit backs will attack her and bite the heck out of her?”
Rarity and Applejack stared blankly in reply.
“Look!” Twilight insisted. “Just suit me up and take me to the orchard and everything will work out fine, you’ll see.”
Rarity and Applejack exchanged glances and raised their shoulders in a shrug.
***
Once again, the group found themselves standing in front of the fruit vampire bat reserve.
Twilight approached the bat infested trees, more apples wreaths wrapped around her. He horn began to glow. “Alright, bats! Do your thing! OWCH! Yay! EEEP! Hurra…OWWWW…THE PAIN MEANS IT’S WORKING!”
The group simply stared on as dozens of bats swarmed Twilight, clawing and biting to get at the apples on her body.
“Uh…should we stop this at some point?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Spike raised his claws in a shrug. “Naw.” He replied.
“What’s that, Mr. Vampire Bat?” Pinkie asked, as her eyes began to swirl.
Fluttershy eyes also began to change hypnotically as she stared into one of that bat’s eyes.
The group turned to see Pinkie and Fluttershy speaking to a couple of the vampire bats.
“Oh, this can’t be good.” Rarity murmured.
“You want me to kill all my friends?” Pinkie said to the bat. “Well…okay!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.
The ponies tensed as Pinkie and Fluttershy pounced on Applejack.
“WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!?”
*A while later*
“I’M A VAMPIRE! I’M A VAMPIRE! I’M A VAMPIRE! I’M A VAMPIRE!” Twilight shouted as she excitedly flapped her leathery wings, flying through Ponyville’s streets.
"Me Too!" Pinkie shouted as she flew behind Twilight. Pinkie began to wobble in the air as her eyes unfocused a bit. "Ohhh...I don't feel so good..." She uttered
'THUD!'
"Pinkie?" Twilight looked back to see Pinkie's legs and wing sticking straight out as the pink bat-mare slid down a flag poll to the ground below.
"Pinkie!" Twilight said with concern. She dove down towards her curly hair friend landed next to her. "Are you alright? What happened?"
"My heaeaeaead feeeeels alll fuuuunnnyeee..." Pinkie replied.
"Huh...mine does, too, now that you mention it." Twilight's eye's widened. "Oh no!"
*shortly after that*
Dr. Stable looked at his clipboard with concern and glanced up at the purple and pink ponies with leathery wings in his office. “Well, just as I suspected. You ladies have rabies.”
Pinkie’s expression dropped in despair and she whimpered.
Twilight merely sighed and stared at the wall with a disappointed look on her face.
“We better get you started on a round of antibiotics. Nurse!” He called.
Nurse Redheart walked into the room, pushing in a syringe that was almost the size of her on a metal cart.
Twilight buried her face in a forehoof as Pinkie’s eyes rolled back into her head and the pink vampire mare collapsed backwards onto the floor.
**
“Worst…day…ever…” Spike uttered as he wrote into the groups diary. “Check.”
“Right, please add that I learned nothing’, absolutely nothin’ from this whole experience.” Applejack stated.
“Learned…nothing…check!”
“Oh, put me down for things being so stupid that I actually forgot things I once knew!” Rainbow Dash added.
“So…stupid…forgot…check!”
“Spikey?” Rarity called out. “Please write down that this whole experience was emotionally scarring and I’ll expect Twilight to help pay for therapy.”
“Pay…for…therapy…check!” Spike looked up. “Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy smiled behind the apple in her wings as she drained it off its juices through her fangs. She dropped the now withered fruit to the ground. “Uh…apples are great!” She suggested.
“Apples…are…great! Check!” Spike looked up from his writing once more. “Anything else to add, girls?”
“Yeah,” Applejack said as she looked at her orange, leathery wings with disgust. “Being a vampire sucks.” She growled out past her fangs.
The End