//------------------------------//
// The Colt 
// Story: Twilight and Smarty Pants in The "Stupendoustacularific" hunt for the evil mare who keeps trying to steal Shining Armor's soul 
// by Snuggly 
//------------------------------//

"So you put them to death, right?" 

Princess Celestia let out a long, drawn out sigh, before she turned her attention to the white colt sitting opposite of the purple pupil. Rather than giving her his full attention, he was fiddling with a shiny, golden bit, its surface occasionally reflecting the smallest flecks of sunlight that poured its way through the windows in Celestia's cozy little study.

"Blueblood? Can you tell me what happened after the six month conflict in Clawstria?"

"Oh, that's easy! After a hard fought battle, our beautiful leader met with the emperor of the eagles and offered up a masterfully written treaty, promising a small piece of land for absolute peace. Truly a work of art from my favorite Aunt." Blueblood added coolly, as he sat his small bit down on the marble table with a small clink.

"Well, atleast somepony read the material. Twilight, what do you have to say for yourself?" Princess Celestia asked, a stern look plastered on her snout as her eyes found their mark on the angry little filly. 

"You and I both know that you put those eagles to death! It's a conspiracy, I tell you!" Twilight shouted, as she kicked the chair from under her, stood up on her hind legs and slammed her hooves on the table's surface. 

Celestia facehoofed while Blueblood snickered at Twilight's accusation. This isn't the first time they've had to deal with Twilight's conspiracy theories and it wasn't going to be the last. Celestia had come to accept her student's outbursts as a regular occurrence, though she had to do her best to keep the little filly from reporting her "findings" to her guests during her visits, lessons and her study sessions. 

Wouldn't want to give ponies any ideas, especially when those ideas are coming from a paranoid little filly who has enough magical power churning in her belly to level the entire castle. 

"Auntie, why is this imbecile even here? Of all the students to pick, you had to choose the one looking for assassins under her bed?  " Blueblood snorted, earning himself a growl from both Celestia and the conspiracy theorist. "It would've been easier for us to just take a walk out into the wild and pick up a rabid manticore." 

"You and I both know that, ever since that little war took place, we haven't heard a single thing from the Clawsteians! Don't you think it's a little weird that the last time we hear from them happens to be around the same time as the day the treaty was passed? They get a new slice of land and not a single colony has sprung up!" Twilight explained, before turning her purple eyes towards the head of the table. "Isn't that right, Celestia?" 

"Twilight, we've been over this. Why would I sign peace treaty to give up Equestrian land when all of my enemies have been put to rest?" The alabaster mare pointed out, her face betraying neither a hint of anger nor amusement. 

"Public relations, princess. I would consider giving you a little praise if I didn't know that you were such an evil tyrant!" Twilight squeaked, her hooves raised in righteous anger. 

After that, the only noise that could be heard in the entire study were the sounds of Blueblood's howling laughter and Celestia's chuckles. To add to Twilight's ever growing anger, the laughter continued for a full minute as the filly eased back into her chair with an angry huff. 

"Stop laughing! This isn't a joke! "Twilight yelled, her voice barely cutting through the laughter as the other two ponies in the room finally began to quiet down. 

"Oh Twilight, you silly little filly! What am I ever going to do with you?"Celestia squealed, pulling the annoyed filly into her fluffy chest for a tight hug with a spark of her large horn. "You're lucky that you're so cute or I would've had you thrown into the dungeon by now!"

"Let go of me you tyrant!" Twilight squeaked, as she tried and failed to pull herself away from Celestia's immensely powerful hooves. "You'll never be able to keep me down forever!" 

"Well you won't have to worry about that Twilight, because I'll be going away for the next few days." Princess Celestia stated, as she held out the squirming filly and gently placed her on the floor. 

"Going where? Saddle Arabia? Manehattan!? Can I come!? Can I!" Blueblood asked, his eyes glowing at the chance at a vacation in flashy cities. 

"As much as I'd love to take you, I doubt that you would enjoy spending you time listening to me talk to griffons about Equestrian borders." Celestia replied, gently patting the little colts head. "Maybe next time." 

"Do we get to skip our lessons while you're gone?" Twilight asked, hopeful that she would be able to escape the pain that is dance class. 

"Nope!" Celestia replied in a cheerful voice, her small smile growing into a large grin. "After consulting my adviser, we've decided that the best person to hire for the job should be someone that's already familiar with the castle and familiar with the students."

"Aaaaaaaand?" Blueblood and Twilight both stared at their mentor with curiosity 

"Well I figure, since Twilight seems to be struggling with her assignments, I could hire someone who could take her home and help her study from time to time!" Celestia exclaimed, as she looked over at her wide eyed nephew. "I'm sure you've seen Cadence wandering the castle grounds every now and then?"

Just then, Twilight's world shattered. What was once a scene of Celestia speaking to an excited Blueblood became nothing but a swirl of colors. Like two neutrons stars colliding, what little color there was gave way to a pure and absolute blackness. 

Then a small pink ball bounced its way into view. 

"Twilight." It spoke as it took on a Cadence's mocking tone.
"Twilight!"
"Twilight!"
"Twilight?"
"Twilight."                                                                                                              "Twilight."
And then three more rolled into view. And another. And another. And another. Before she knew it, the little filly was surrounded by small specs of pink. All of them calling out to her in derisive mocking tones. 
"Twilight!"                            "Twilight!?"          "Sparkle!"      "Twilight!"     "Ms. Sparkle?"      "Twilight."                            "Twilight Sparkle!" 
"Twilight!"       "Should we just throw her outside?"          "Sparkle?"  "Twiiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiiiight."                            "Sparkle!"          "Twilight!?"                        "Sparkle!?"                              "Twilight Sparkle!"                         "Twilight Sparkle?" "Shh! Wait until the nurse wakes her up."

"Twilight? Are you feeling okay?" 

"Wha?" Slowly, Twilight opened her eyes to the sight of three faces. The worried face of her mentor, a bored looking Blueblood and a relieved nurse complete with red hair and red eyes to go with a painfully white coat. With the initial drowsiness gone, Twilight slowly lifted herself up into a sitting position. 

A soft bed, white walls and a closed curtain? She was in the infirmary. She hated the infirmary. "What the heck happened?" She mumbled, still trying to get a grip on her surroundings. "Am I dead?"

The nurse and Celestia shared a look of relief, while Blueblood only shook his head in disappointment. "I wish you were." He muttered. "Than I wouldn't have to listen your stupid theories all day." 

"You are dismissed, nephew." Celestia stated, unamused at her nephew's lack of empathy. Blueblood started making another comment, but Celestia's glare cut it off mid-sentence. "Now."

While Blueblood made a quick escape, Celestia turned her attention back to the filly smothered in a white blanket. No signs of sickness, no fever, not a single indication of illness. She just looked worn out. "You passed out, Twilight. I don't know what came over you, but you seem to be doing much better now." 

"Indeed." The nurse added, her piercing red eyes still analyzing the disorientated filly. "Do you remember what happened? Was it too hot? Too cold? Have you eaten anything?" 

Twilight looked up at the mare, finding her attention to those sharp red eyes. What did happen? She could remember.....Pink. Pink everywhere.And somepony calling out her name. Who was it? 

Cadence

"I remember having the worst dream ever. I remember Celestia telling us that Cadence would be our substitute teacher! Thank the stars that it's over." Twilight exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief. 

Celestia and the unamused nurse gave each another small look before returning their attention to the relieved filly. "Twilight? That wasn't a dream. That was all real." 

Twilight's smile collapsed like Discord's quest of world domination. "What do you mean?" 

"Cadence WILL be your substitute while I'm away." 

"Twilight!"                    "Ms. Sparkle?"                 "Twilight!?"          "Sparkle!"               "Twilight!"     "Ms. Sparkle?"      "Twilight."            "Twilight Sparkle!" 
"Twilight!"       "Twilight Sparkle!?"          "Sparkle?"  "Twiiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiiiight."      "Sparkle!?"   "Sparkle!"          "Twilight!?"          "Sparkle!?"                "Twilight Sparkle!"                         "Twilight Sparkle?" "Twiliiiiiiight."

"Oh, not again." 

"She's a real drama queen isn't she?"