//------------------------------//
// Macintosh: BASTION OF NORMALITY! 
// Story: In which Masterweaver just makes stuff up 
// by Masterweaver 
//------------------------------//

	"KICK THEM LEGS, BOY!" Granny Smith crowed as she beat on a barrel with an old plunger. "Ah don't care how old ya are, ya still got enough pump ta get them up!"

Macintosh refrained from sighing as he continued the cancaning in his hula skirt, subtly twitching his forelegs so his coconut bra didn't slip. "Eeeeyup."

"We've got ta get this done afor sundown!" The elderly mare looked out the window, narrowing her eyes. "Once the star spiders start swarming, any unprotected barrel's going ta be nothing more then blue fire! Ya know how bad blue fire is?!"

"Really bad?"

"THA GATES O' TARTARUS ARE MADE O' BLUE FIRE!" Granny Smith stopped her pounding momentarily, reaching up and adjusting the fruit basket on her grandson's head. "SO KEEP UP YER DANCING LEST YA WANT O' PLAGUE O' DEMONS ON THIS HERE FARM!"

The red stallion sighed. "Alright, Granny...:"

Apple Bloom trotted in, giving them a brief glance and a shrug. "Has anypony seen mah bow? There's a crusadah meeting later today, and Ah can't zactly go out like this." She gestured at her leonine body with a black talon.

"Ifn' Ah remember right, Ah saw it in the kitchen deary." Granny Smith paused. "Orrrrr... was it the den? Ah can't remember. It was in a vase, though...."

"It's on tha endtable," Mac supplied. "We really oughta get spares fer ya..."

"I's not lahk this is permanent!" Apple Bloom protested, ruffling her wings and glowering. "Just until Zecora gets back from Neighpon!"

"Well now, we don't know how long she'll be held up in customs do we?" Granny Smith raised an eyebrow. "But at least ya know not ta fiddle with potions less ya know what yer doing!"

"Ah told ya, it was an accident!" Apple Bloom rubbed her beak. "Ugh... Ah'm just going ta get mah bow now..." With a final grumble she exited the room.

"Heh, fillies these days..." The elderly green mare shook her head. "Back in mah day the worst trouble we got into was fighten' monsters from the Everfree!" She tapped her chin. "Come ta think o' it, that might be worse then being turned into a griffon..."

"Are we done here?"

"Hmm?" Granny blinked at him. "Oh! Yes. That was the last barrel. Go on and do... whatever it was you were wanting ta do." She grinned. "So long as it ain't a who! Hee hee. Seriously though, no wrasslin' before wedding, ya get me?"

"Eeeyup." Macintosh rolled his eyes as he took off the coconut bra and hula skirt, tossing them in a corner. "Ah'll keep it in mind, Granny." A hoof swept out to grab his horsecollar, and with one quick attachment he was ready to head out to the town.

The walk from the farm to Ponyville was always something of a relaxing exercise to him; his hooves clip clopping against the ground in unison to the constant background of chittering squirrels and singing birds. He let his eyes wander about the landscape as he continued down the well-known path, noticing small changes--a flower gone here, a nut fallen there. Truthfully, the space between the farm and the town was one of the most peaceful places he had ever encountered.

Which wasn't to say it was always completely peaceful. For instance, the grey pegasus crashing into the ground in front of him was not an event he, or anypony he knew of, would label as a peaceful event. Normal? Perhaps. But even as he stepped forward to help her up, suppressing an internal sigh, he had to acknowledge that his peaceful walk was now something of the past.

"Anythang broken?"

The pegasus shook the dirt off of her wings. "Nope! Just bruises. And my pride. Darn this cursed eye."

"Now, miss Hooves, we've been over this--"

"No, I mean it's literally cursed." She turned to him, pointing at her right eye. "See the swirling runes?"

Macintosh nodded slowly.

"My optometrist though he'd found a cure, but... well, he's not the most experienced when it comes to magic." She shrugged helplessly. "So now I can see phase beings, only I can't tell them apart from material beings... it's hard to keep flying straight now."

"Ah." Macintosh glanced around for a few seconds. "...Derpy, might Ah escort ya to Sugarcube corner?"

"...ugh, sure. I thought I was going to be fine, but... just, let's drop by the post office and file the paperwork for my medical leave first." Derpy shook her head, leaning on his massive red frame. "Today was just awful... but I'm awfully lucky to have a guy like you. What did I ever do to deserve you anyway?"

"Good heart, deep thoughts, nice rump..."

That earned him a light swat from a blonde tail and a sly smirk on the grey face. "You know I don't go for the naughty talk in public. I have to set an example for Dinky."

"Ah'm mighty sorry, miss Hooves. Ah'll try to reign it in." Macintosh smirked back. "No promises though."

And as the two of them trotted down the road, side by side, the farmpony couldn't help but think that maybe he should possibly have a little less peace in his life. Well, only a little. Apple Bloom would probably love Dinky.... although, maybe he'd wait until after spider season.