//------------------------------// // It ain't easy bein' a sheriff // Story: I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// It's been three days since those zombie-like creatures attacked. Cotton and his friends enjoyed their stay at the Crystal Empire. The Crystal Six were now favorited by everypony in the Crystal Empire. The Mane 6 knew about the humans' origins and still accepted them. They promised not to tell anypony about the humans' origin. Cotton now had two issues: Revenge on Alex and money for himself. Arlen House Cotton took a nap as he lied on his bed. As he slept, all these weird thoughts came to his head. "Ugh...no Hank's wife...I don't want yer big feet...ugh...who the hell is Mane-iac?...ugh...Rainbow Dash, stop smiling like that...it's giving me the creeps...ugh...Equestrian Academy?...wait...who's kkman57?...ah forget it...what the hell is gak?...how gives a crap about Weird Al...must kill Fidel Castro...need mah whip for...ugh?" Cotton woke up and blinked. "Mah whip...MAH WHIP! That's it! I know how to get money!" He said with a wide smile. Carousel Boutique Rarity was busy making a dress when Boomhauer came in. "Rarity, yo." Boomhauer said. Rarity smiled. "Hello Boomhauer." "Just dang ol' thought of dropping by wit my favorite little pony, I tell you what. Where's dang ol' Sweetie Belle, yo?" "Oh she's with her friends. By the way, I've heard about your 'dates' with other mares." Rarity said with an amused smile. Boomhauer froze. "From dang ol'..?" Rarity giggled. "All I can say is that I think Berry Punch, Carrot Top, and Colgate are in love with you now." Boomhauer gulped. Suddenly, the door opened and Cotton entered in. Boomhauer was amused to see that Cotton had a whip with him. He was also wearing a hat, which had the words 'Cop' crossed out and replaced it with the words 'Sheriff.' Cotton saluted. "Boomhauer, say hello to the new sheriff in town." Boomhauer didn't know whether to laugh or to urinate on himself. Rarity giggled. "How did you...?" "I have mah ways." Cotton said as he crossed his arms and let out a prideful smile. "So what in dang ol' now?" Boomhauer asked. "Seen any crimes?" Cotton asked. Rarity shook her head. "Not that I know of." Boomhauer rolled his eyes. "Man, dang ol' stupid man." "Ah zip it Boomhauer." Cotton blurted out as he walked out the door. "Ya got yer own problems to take care of. I heard that all the stallions who had a crush on Berry Punch, Carrot Top, and Colgate all wanna kill ya tonight." As Cotton left, Boomhauer widen his eyes and looked at Rarity. "Well...they're not going to literally kill you..." Rarity said with a nervous grin. Boomhauer gulped and lowered his ears. "Dang ol' crap." Cotton was bored. He couldn't find a case. "Hmm..." He said to himself. "Maybe Twilight has a problem for me to solve..." He headed towards Twilight's house. He knocked on the door. Spike opened the door. "Hey Spyro." Cotton greeted with a smirk. "Hey Hank's father." Spike replied with a smirk. Cotton frowned. "I hate being called that." "I know. Dale told me that." Cotton peeked inside and saw Dale sitting down with a book. Dale grinned nervously as Cotton glared at Dale. Mark's House Mark sighed as he took out a piece of paper. He wanted to ask Shining Armor about how he met Princess Cadance, but Mark was afraid that Shining Armor would find out that the pony Mark is trying to win is Luna. Mark decided to write a letter. Dear Princess Celestia, I just wanna say that I'm grateful for giving a home to Cotton and his friends. I wish there was a way I can thank you. Sincerely, Mark Walsh P.S. The Mane 6 knows that me and my friends are from Earth. They still accept us as friends. Mark started to sweat as he wrote: P.P.S. Tell Luna I said hi and thank you for everything. Mark put a hoof on his forehead. "Well, it's better than nothing..." He muttered. He left his house with the letter and walked towards Twilight's house. "Are ya sure ya don't need mah service?" Cotton asked Twilight as he crossed arms. Twilight was busy reading a book. Twilight giggled. "That's sweet of you, but I don't need any service." Cotton sighed. "Well, since I'm here, got any police books or somathing?" "Police?" Twilight asked with a confused look. "He's saying he wants a book on how to be a good detective!" Dale shouted. "Oh." Twilight said as she gave Cotton a book. "Start with this one." Cotton sighed and sat down to read the book. He heard the door open. "Hey Cotton." Cotton smiled. "Hey Mark. What are ya doing here?" Mark smiled. "Just doing a quick thing." He said as he came up to Spike. "Hey Spike." He whispered to Spike as he got out his letter and a large green gem. "Deliver this letter to Celestia and don't say a word to anypony about this and I'll give you this gem." Spike stared and drooled at the gem and nodded as he grabbed to the gem and letter. Mark smirked as Spike ate the gem in one bite. As he was about to leave, he noticed a book about romance. He noticed how Cotton, Dale, Twilight, and Spike wasn't looking. Mark let out a small smile. "Why not? I'll just take this and bring it back when I'm done. Simple." He grabbed the book and left. Dale got up. "Well I'm going. See you Twilight!" "See you." Twilight replied. As Dale left, Twilight got up. "Well, I'm done with this book, time to rea...hey, what happened to Winning Somepony's Heart for Morons?" Cotton put his book down. "Huh?" "I could've sworn it was here." Twilight said as she started to look around. Cotton put a hoof on his chin. "Hmm...this sounds like...A CASE!" He put down the book and let out a huge smile. "Don't worry Breaking Dawn! I'll find yer book!" He ran out of the house with a determined look on his face. Canterlot Celestia was sitting on her throne. All of a sudden, a letter came up to her. She read the letter. She smiled. "Luna?" "Yes sister?" Luna said as she appeared. "Mark says hi and thank you for everything." Luna let out a shy smile. "Oh...um..." Celestia let out a small chuckle. "I'll tell him you said you're welcome. He also said that he wished to repay us somehow." Celestia put a hoof on her chin. "I have an idea..."