//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12--Smoking and Drinking 
// Story: What You Don't Know 
// by Flaming Pulsar 
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Chapter 12--Smoking and Drinking


When Qene and I finally caught up to Fluttershy, we found her fruitlessly trying to get the attention of the citizens.
“Qene, if you would please,” I said to the manticore. He roared, quickly silencing everyone that was there and getting them to turn our way. “Attention everyone!” I announced. Despite everyone’s typical attitude of pretending I don’t exist, they all listened because I sounded important. “There’s a huge-ass cloud of fucking smoke coming from that mountain that I could have sworn was not there before--the mountain, not the smoke. There are only two things I know of that produce smoke: fire and dragons.” And factories and large trucks and bars filled with smokers but I don’t think any of those things exist in Equestria. “There doesn’t appear to be any trees to burn on that mountain so I will assume it is a dragon. And it would appear that Celestia has finally caught onto the situation and sent Twilight a letter so I’m gonna let her continue from here. Take it away Twi.” She glared at me for calling her that before continuing. She basically just confirmed my assumptions and debriefed us--her five friends and myself (and Qene)--on the mission to remove the dragon.
Essentially, the plan was to climb the mountain and use our various skills to get the dragon to leave. I wasn’t aware of any skills I had--other than being an asshole but I don’t think that would help get rid of the dragon--but Twilight made me come anyways.
Once we were all finally up the mountain--I say finally because Fluttershy was being a scaredy cat--or scaredy pony, as they say--and wouldn’t climb and instead had to be led around the mountain--Twilight started voicing her ideas.
Apparently, I was sent in first because I had the best chance against a dragon. In other words, they’re all fucking cowards. So, I went in with Qene as my weapon and confronted the dragon. My basic plan was to try and reason with the beast. I was hoping that having its runner-up species in strength by my side would help with the persuasion. I found the big red dragon sleeping on a fuckmassive pile of treasure. “So, Qene. How do you safely wake up a dragon?” He just looked at me like I was crazy. “Well, unless you know how to move it without waking it up, we’re gonna have to wake him up.” He kneeled down for me to get off and then started drawing out a plan in the dirt. “Yeah, that could work.” I proceeded to carry out the plan that Qene showed me. Basically, we flew up to the ceiling of the cave and knocked a few small-ish rocks loose so they would fall on the dragon, hopefully causing a hard enough hit to wake him, but not hard enough to hurt him and make him attack. The plan worked and I began talking to the beast. “Hello, Mr. Dragon. I’m sorry to wake you but I was wondering if we could talk.” He grunted but didn’t make any motion to get rid of me. “Good. First of all, do you have a name I can call you, I don’t like calling you Mr. Dragon.”
“I do indeed have a name. However, after years of having no contact with other life forms, I have lost the need to tell others my name and as such, I have forgotten it. Until I remember it, you may refer to me as Draco. Now, what is it you want, human?”
“How did you know I was human?”
“My species has been around since before the human race but few of us had reached sentience until the human race was wiped out. We sought refuge from the evil matter sucker in the caves of the planet until a day came when dragons could roam again.”
“By chance does your species have any legends of a boy named Arthur that slayed a dragon?”
“I remember a tale of a human slaying a dragon to prove his worth and becoming king. He succeeded and humans were avoided from then on. Why do you ask?”
“Because if all the parts of that tale are true, then it might be possible for me to learn magic.”
“Magic in the traditional sense is learnable by any but modern magic is exclusive to only unicorns.”
“What do you mean?”
“Many years ago, when the alicorns usurped the rule of Equestria, anyone could use real magic. After Discord showed his presence, it was decided that magic should be limited. Celestia, in combination with the leaders of all the other species, decided that only unicorns would use the new form of magic, namely spells. Obviously there was some dispute about this since it overpowered unicorns and by connection ponies in general but that was easily forgotten after realizing that all the other races had their own form of self-protection. Thus, the unicorns can use spells, and no one else can. However, there are those of us that still remember real magic and use it either without detection or with permission.”
“Do you know real magic? Could you teach me?”
“I do not. However, many dragons do still know it. Despite what most races think, dragons do not call Drakomesto home. We actually live in Fireland, formerly known as Iceland if my sources are correct. Drakomesto is simply where we hold important events.”
“Iceland. Makes sense. There was actually another reason I woke you. How do you feel about ponies?”
“They are a waste of life and resources. Why do you ask?”
“Well, your sleeping and snoring is causing a lot of smoke and it’s choking the land.”
“Why should I care?”
“Because I also live there.”
“Hmm, I will leave on one condition: when you get transportation out of this forsaken land, be sure to visit me.”
“I will do my best. Are you going to be at the Mareidian Party in the spring?”
“I have been invited, but I rarely go to that sort of events. However, if you are going to be there, I suppose I could go for the sake of seeing a friend again.”
“Sweet, in that case, I’ll see you then.”
“Until then.” He then flapped his huge leathery wings and gathered his treasure before taking off presumably to Iceland.
I walked out behind him in time to see him flying off in the distance. “Problem solved,” I said. “And I got another foreign connection.”
“I knew you had talent, Síor!” Fluttershy said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“It’s obvious you’re wonderful with animals, just like me!”
“That wasn’t animal caring, if anything that was diplomacy.”
“Either way,” Twilight said, “it’s a good skill to have, especially since you're going to be Princess Celestia’s guest at the Mareidian party.”
“How’d you know about that?” By this time, we had begun our descent down the mountain.
“The Princess tells me more than you think.”
Being a smartass as usual: “Which one?”
“Ugh, Princess Celestia. I appreciate your constant reminders of that but you don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
“Aw, but it’s so much fun.” She was ahead of me but I imagined she was rolling her eyes. “So, what’s next?” We had reached the bottom of the mountain now. The descent was much quicker because most of us could fly or teleport and AJ and Pinkie could hitch a ride with one of us.
“Well, I have more work to get back to so I’d prefer not to be bothered.”
“I got apples ta harvest.”
“I’m practicing for the Wonderbolts!”
“I have a big order to fill.”
“I’m making brownies!!!”
“I’m making gourmet dog treats.”
Guess who said what. Hmm, brownies or dog treats. Pinkie or Fluttershy. Fluttershy, no question. “I think I’ll help you, Fluttershy.”
“Oh, how wonderful! I always appreciate the extra help.”
So I went back to Fluttershy’s cottage to help her make dog treats. Back in my high school days I had taken a culinary course and we made gourmet dog treats every year around Christmas time and I tried to make them for my own dog as often as possible so I was no novice at the task. We went into the kitchen and began cooking. After the first batch was in the oven, she said, “Hey, Síor. Have I ever shown you my basement?”
“I didn’t even know you had a basement.”
“It’s actually more of a cellar. Come on, I’ll show you.”
I followed her out around the house to a cellar door I hadn’t noticed before. She opened it and we went into the dark room below. She flipped on the light and I saw something I never thought I would see for a long time. “Is that--?”
“Mead, yes.”
“Where did you get this?”
“I have some friends on an island near Drakomesto who call themselves the Shōjō. They’re very nice and they send me a bottle of mead every month. I rarely drink any but I figured you would like some.”
“Yes fucking please! I have been craving alcohol since the first day I got here!” I should mention that it has been about a month since I arrived, making it late July. “One question though. How did you become acquainted with Shōjō if they live in what I’m assuming is Japan?”
“I signed up for a pen pal system and my pen pal was a Shōjō named Arukōru. We got talking and he started sending a bottle of mead with each of his letters. I hardly ever drink any so it’s just been building up over time.”
“Huh, well enough about that, let’s crack open a bottle and start drinkin’!” She gave me a bottle and got one for herself and we drank the night away. I don’t remember much after midnight but I know it was a fun night. I woke up the next morning in Fluttershy’s bed with Fluttershy herself next to me. I had suspicions about what happened that night but I think it would be better if I left those suspicions unvoiced.