"It's a total sham, I'm telling you!" Lyra Heartstrings said, sipping from a thin glass of cider. She exhaled with a smirk as she leaned back in her booth. "The Founding of Equestria happened in the middle of the Vernal Equinox nearly seven thousand years ago! That's the whole point! The windigoes were making all of Equestria cold during a season when it was unnatural! And trust me! I know my history!" She took another sip, stifled a burp, and said, "At least more than I know when my music theory students are trying to plagiarize their way through an exam!"
"Lyra, it's spring," Vinyl Scratch grunted, scribbling music notes over a sheet of paper atop the table. A nearby jukebox played Equestria folk music while the four ponies populated a corner of the bar. "Why in the name of Princess Celestia's mountain brothel are you preaching to us about Hearth's Warming, today of all days?"
"Because it's a travesty!" Lyra cackled. "They've turned a truly epic historical event into an excuse to sell presents and cholesterol-inducing edibles by the truckloads! Half of the faculty at Ponyville University are still working off the flank fat from all the yule time massacre of their muscles!"
"Because we know how much you care about your figure," Caramel droned, rolling his eyes. "You bony thing you."
"Hey! Don't hate me because my shoulderblades show!" Lyra's voice rasped, causing the other three to chuckle. "I mean it! They'll rip that silken mane off your head at a moment's sneeze!"
"Tear this hair off my scalp and you're deader than Starswirl," Caramel grunted into his swirling glass. "I mean it, girlfriend."
"Bring it on! Scapulas at twenty trots!"
"I, for one, adore the holiday season," Bon Bon said with a rosy smile tossed across the table. "I wish it was Hearth's Warming every month. It gives me excuses to bake the most delicious sweets! No matter how silly they might look!" She giggles. "The foals absolutely love them too. It's so cute..."
"That's enough drinking for you, Bon Bon," Lyra muttered. "You've officially entered the unsexy department of La-La land."
"I've not had too much cider!" Bon Bon frowned, then hiccuped. Her eyes widened and she hid her muzzle behind a flushed forelimb. "That... w-was from the pretzels, I swear."
"If anypony's stomach is turning knots, it'd be fitting if it was yours, B-cubed," Vinyl said with a smirk, sketching more of her latest musical number. "Just thank your lucky stars that you weren't in Canterlot over the weekend."
"Why? Because of all the mayhem that went down at the Palace?" Caramel stammered.
"Actually, I was referring to all the hoof-me-down leftovers from the buffet table. They were serving them at local community centers up in the mountains. I sampled some, cuz I'm a cheap bastard like that, and... girls, lemme tell you, there better not be changelings living inside the crystal caves anymore because—whew—did I send them a present or what!"
"Unnnnghh..." Caramel blanched. "Seriously, can we talk about something else?"
"Huh? Were we talking?" Lyra's smirked into her reflection off the cider shotglass. "I thought we were just vomiting with words."
Bon Bon giggled.
Caramel glared her way. "Lyra, you're impossible."
"Nah, I'm just disastorously fabulous." She sipped the last of her drink and wiped her muzzle. "Ahhh... so it's no wonder you can't compute, princess."
"Grrrrrr..."
Vinyl chuckled. But before Caramel could voice his rebuttal, the doors swung open.
Bon Bon craned her neck and her eyes instantly widened. "Good gracious!"
"Holy Luna Balls..." Lyra stammered, smirking. "Been a friggin' while, ya think?"
"Hey! RD!" Vinyl wildly waved her forelimb. "Long time, no see! How ya doin'?!"
"Meh." Rainbow Dash bee-lined her way to the front bar. She tried climbing up to a stool, slipped, slipped again, then beat her wings with frustration. When at last she was sitting atop the pedestal, she took a deep breath and relaxed against the counter.
The four ponies blinked amongst each other.
Bon Bon leaned into the group. "I thought you walked out of here drunk, not the other way."
"I'm not sure she's tipsy, girls," Caramel said, swallowing his throat nervously. "I mean... it has been a while since she came her last, right?"
"Just because we're keeping score doesn't mean you have to commentate, pretty-flanks," Lyra belched.
"No, I mean..." Caramel pointed. "Look at her? Does it look like the colors of her mane are a little... I dunno... muted?"
"I can't tell the difference," Vinyl groned.
Lyra smacked her across the horn. "Try taking off your dayum shades!"
Vinyl flinched, doing just that. Her red eyes reflected the lone pegasus figure. "No need to marinate over there by your lonesome, RD. Come on and hang out with us!" Her lips curved. "Just like old times, right?"
Rainbow merely sighed. The barkeep trotted over, his eyes darting between Rainbow and the group behind her.
"Those folks pestering you, Rainbow?"
"Mmmmf..." Rainbow blearily shook her head. "It's cool."
"What can I get you tonight?" The stallion smirked. "The usual? I mean, I know it's been a while—"
Rainbow opened her mouth, hesitated, then sighed. "No cider for me today, Sam." She leaned against the counter with a sigh. "Make it lemonade. Your tallest glass."
The stallion raised his eyebrow, but nevertheless went to prepare it.
The four at the table glanced at each other.
"Now I know she's not doing well!" Caramel hissed.
"Maybe... sh-she needs somepony to talk to?" Bon Bon mewled worriedly.
"I think it's obvious that she wants us all to shove off," Vinyl muttered.
"Pegasi," Lyra grunted. "Am I right?"
"I can friggin' hear you guys, y'know," Rainbow Dash droned.
"Good!" Lyra craned her neck. "Then maybe you can help us thaw out the cold shoulder you're giving!"
"Lyra..." Bon Bon chided.
"What? Am I the only mare who's shivering? Never mind Caramel. He's already acting like he's sitting on an icicle."
"Yeah, heheh, I—Hey!"
"I'm fine," Rainbow grunted as the barkeep slid a tall glass of ice cold lemonade to her. She took it in a hoof, careful not to pick it up for fear of dropping the beverage. "I just... wanted some peace and quiet to think."
"Through a straw?" Lyra asked.
"Sure, why not?"
"Cuz you could have gotten some peace and quiet at home, girl!" Lyra exclaimed, folding her forelimbs with a smirk. "Thing is, you came here. And you only ever came here because you wanted to do more than sulk."
"She's got a point, RD," Vinyl said, sliding her shades back on. "What's on your mind?"
"You can talk to us, Rainbow!" Bon Bon smiled sweetly. "We're your friends!" She blinked, her smile washing over with adorable confusion. "I think...?"
Rainbow swiveled on the stool. She glanced at all four muzzles, at their pleasant expressions in the dim lounge's light. At last, she sighed defeatedly, her ears drooping.