//------------------------------// // The First Day // Story: An Earthbound Honeymoon // by drnkntst //------------------------------// Chapter 7 Rick rose with the sun. However, it wasn’t the gentle rays of the rising celestial orb that roused him, but rather the excited chattering of nine females and one male. Groggily, Rick stood up off the couch and let the dog out. He was so sleepy, he almost didn’t notice to three alicorns, one unicorn and the only draconequus in Equestria, hopefully. “Mmhm? Oh, royalty. Please, come in and join us for breakfast.” Any other creature in Equestria would have gotten a stern chewing-out from Shining Armor and a few suspicious looks from the rest, but this was family, a special day and waaay too early for anyone to be expected to be at their best. Therefore, Rick’s life would be spared for another day. The four women, two mares, one stallion and three fillies were already sitting around the table while the little dragon was serving them eggs and toast with fruit salad on the side. The little guy worked a lot harder than anyone gave him credit for. With three more princesses and another prince, it was starting to get crowded. Luckily, Discord had decided it would be more fun for him to shrink down and ride on Rick’s head. “Good morning everypony.” “Good morning, Princess Celestia,” was chorused in reply. “I trust you all slept well?” There was a general consensus that they were all too excited to have slept last night. She giggled a little at that “I understand. In fact, I almost wish I could go with you and see this new world for myself. Of course I expect plenty of pictures and souvenirs.” “I think we can handle that,” Rick conceded. “Though, it will be tricky with my truck being in two pieces thanks to Chrysalis.” “I believe I can help with that,” Discord offered with his tiny body on one set of Rick’s shoulders while his full-sized head peaked around the other side of Rick’s head. “Really? That would be great!” Rick was legitimately excited. His beloved pick-up truck was one of the few things that came with him to Equestria from Earth. Sadly, it hadn’t run since Pinkie was bit by a snake and he ripped out the fuel line getting her to the hospital. That was before it had been torn in half during his fight with Chrysalis. Oddly, she was a little mad when he smashed her with it. Discords normal sized head and tiny body both collapsed towards Rick’s head, disappearing from view, only to appear, still tiny, stepping out from behind the salt shaker, “but of course, my dear boy. Putting your precious vehicle back into one piece would be snap *snap*.” The snap of his fingers may have simply been a reiteration of his point, but the way things go in Equestria, Rick doubted it. On a whim, he stepped outside the front door. Sure enough, Rick’s trusty Chevy had been rebuilt. If that had been the end of it, it would have been perfect, but this was Discord after all. Rick wasn’t sure what possible purpose a propeller could serve, but that was far less strange than the sight of a dragon wing on the back end and sports car front. The back end was still that of a pick-up, the problem was each panel was a different size. “Discord, far be it from me to stifle a man’s creativity, but this simply won’t work.” “Why, whatever do you mean?” Discord asked as he stepped out from behind the oddity. “I mean,” Rick approached the ‘truck’ and placed his hand on the snorkel, “this literally won’t work.” “Oh, give it a try, you may in fact enjoy the ride.” “Okay, the wonderful colors and patterns that might just put Rarity into a coma aside, I cannot drive this because the middle is an accordion. How am I supposed to drive a truck with a constant risk of being crushed?” “Fine, take away all the fun,” Discord grumbled and snapped his fingers again. The truck flashed and was reformed in its original shape and color. There were only two changes. The familiar bowtie logo was replaced with an image of Discords head and there was a Discorde bobble head on the dash. Rick let out a long breath, “thank you, Discord, I appreciate this.” With a flourish and a dismissive wave of his hand, “think nothing of it my boy. Just make sure you keep my friend happy, and there’ll be no problems between us.” Rick held out his hand, Discord looked at it for a second, like he expected it to change shape or maybe catch on fire. After careful observation, he came to the conclusion that it was in fact just a hand and placed his own hand within. A brief, firm handshake followed, “that sounds like a deal.” Shortly after, the other humans walked out of the house with their luggage. Another snap of Discord’s fingers and four smaller Discord clones appeared in bellhop uniforms. Each bowed and tipped their hats, then they each took the bags from the women, a couple sprouted extra arms in order to gather the extra baggage. Said baggage was loaded into the bed of the truck and tied down with some ropes. “Alright, everything’s secure. Is everybody ready?” Rick asked as he double checked the ropes and made sure nothing was loose. “Yes.” “Yup.” “Yeah.” “Mmm… yes.” “Alright. Everyone say their farewells and we will be on our way.” They all gathered and mingled. The CMC hopped and cheered while Rick lifted them and even tossed them about a little. Big Mac and AJ had a quiet conversation between themselves, though Rick was surprised when Cheerilee joined them. It could have just been his imagination, but he thought she was standing quite a bit closer to Big Mac than normal. The four princesses were enjoying their chat, while Discord and Fluttershy did the same. Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow and Spike were discussing Opalescence’s care regimen. Rick and Shining Armor were talking by themselves. Rick was sitting on the ground to be closer and Paul was lying next to him enjoying the gentle scratch behind the ears. “Shining, you seem worried about something.” “You don’t miss a thing. Yeah, I’m a little bit nervous. I remember the things you told me about your world and how dangerous it is. I know you can handle yourself and would protect each and every pony with your life if the need arose. Plus, the four girls are each a barer of an Element of Harmony. I just can’t seem to get rid of this worry.” “I understand. Believe me, if there is anyone in Equestria that does understand that concern, it’s me.” Rick reached out and placed a hand on Shining’s withers, “I can’t take away your worry, all I can do is promise that I will do everything in my power to not only protect your sister, but also ensure she enjoys her time on Earth.” “Thank you, Rick, I know you will.” Shining leaned against Rick who hugged him with one arm. They stood up and rejoined the others. The humans climbed into the truck’s cab and buckled up, with some help from Rick. The engine was cranked up on the first attempt and sounded like new. Rick rolled down the windows for everyone. He stuck his head out the window, “I probably should have asked this before, but, how are we getting there and back?” “Oh, I thought I explained that,” Discord spoke up, “I will be sending you there. In two weeks’ time, you will be brought back. All you have to do is think of the place you wish to arrive and make sure you aren’t seen when it comes time to return. Of course, if you run into trouble, simply write a short message on this scroll and burn it and I will bring you right back.” “Ah, nice and simple. Alrighty then. Here we go.” Rick ran through his memories. He remembered the times he spent with his family on vacation. The joyous moments in the park and museums. The fun little shops the old village square. All these places meant so much to him, but they all shared one common problem; they were always swarmed with people. It took some thinking, but he finally thought of the perfect spot to transport five beings into another universe. A sudden memory came to the forefront of his mind. “Okay, I think I’ve got it.” “Excellent,” Discord clapped his hands together, “everypony buckle-up!” ***** After the ringing in his ears stopped, Rick slowly opened his eyes. At first, he wasn’t certain they had left at all, that was before Fluttershy ‘eep’ed from the backseat. A mid-sized box truck had driven by and startled her. Rick looked around while Rarity comforted her. They were at a small picnic area near a river than ran through a small town near a national park in the mountains of Tennessee. He knew that all for a fact because he had come to this particular spot many times with Annie and Hanna. It being so small and between two small towns made it perfect for a quiet picnic with the family. Rick unbuckled himself and stepped out of the truck. He took a deep breath and let it out with a huge smile. He climbed atop a concrete picnic table and turned to his truck and beautiful creatures within. “Girls, Welcome to Earth!” Slowly, Twilight and the others climbed out of the truck. Rick couldn’t help but think they looked similar to a cat coming out of its crate for the first time. Their heads swiveled around constantly, trying to take in every detail they could. “C’mon, ladies, there’s nothing to worry about here. There’s not even any predators that are a danger to humans in this part of the world.” They were still hesitant, it being a new world full of unknowns and all, who could blame them? “What’s the matter, you trust me don’t you?” That got them moving. They walked over to Rick and looked up at the steep mountains. He led them down to the swift but shallow river that was always very cold, even in the summer. He even showed them how to skip rocks. He couldn’t help but notice they all kept looking up at the clouds with looks of curiosity bordering on concern. He found it to be adorable. Afterward, they loaded back up in the truck. Shortly after, they stopped at a place that paid cash for gold. Turns out, a single bit was worth over one thousand dollars. Therefore, the bag of bits Rick brought with him was in no danger of running empty and still allowing them to enjoy everything they could possibly want to do. Now, they had their funds, so next they needed shelter. Hotels around this area were usually nice, but didn’t provide the privacy that they would probably prefer. It was their honeymoon after all. A cabin in the mountains would be the best thing for their needs. Normally, a cabin for two weeks would be too expensive for him, but that was a problem that would not arise this time. Fortunately, they were able to procure one a cabin that was isolated and still not so far into the woods that getting to town was a hassle. When they got there, Rick couldn’t believe the cabin hadn’t been booked by someone else. It was two stories tall, the bedroom was huge and on the second floor with a small fireplace, porch and adjoining bathroom, complete with hot tub. The first floor had another fireplace, a large kitchen, second full bathroom, entertainment center and an attached porch with a Jacuzzi. Both the porches were on the back of the building and offered an unparalleled view of a small valley with a little field and a creek. Someone had put out a bird bath, a bird feeder and a salt lick to attract wildlife. The best part of all of this was that one could neither see nor hear any road or traffic on it. The whole thing was perfect. “Alright, ladies, you get settled in while I run into town to get us something to eat.” There was a chorus along the lines of ‘okay’ in response. Rick smiled and went off to do exactly what he said he would. He wasn’t quite sure what to get for their first meals on Earth, but figured a couple pizzas with all the veggies would be as good place to start as any. On his drive, he saw a certain pair of golden arches that seemed to be calling to a more primal, meat-loving side of him. He was about to pull in to the drive-thru lane when an image played across his mind’s eye. A very enjoyable conversation he had with one Daisy Jo, a cow, not two weeks ago. Suddenly, all urges for a cheeseburger with bacon flew to the furthest reaches of his psyche never to be seen again. Instead, he went straight to a local pizza restaurant and picked up his query. Normally, Rick wasn’t a huge fan of veggie pizza, but thanks to his new pony diet, the smell was driving him crazy the whole way back up the mountain to their cabin. More importantly, the lack of his wives’ presence was digging into him. He really did love them, each and every one of them. Luckily, that was a pang that would be sated very soon. “Girls, I’m back!” He called out as he walked through the door. There was no reply. He set the pizzas on the counter and set to find the four objects of his affection. The sound of laughter from the back porch cut his search short. “What are you all doing out… here?” It was at this point that Rick remembered that none of them owned a swimsuit. When they saw him and all rushed out of the Jacuzzi to greet and hug him, He was suddenly happy about that. He wrapped his big arms around them and picked them all up in a bear hug of his own. “I’m glad to see you all relaxing and acclimating so well to human technology. Now, towel off, get dres… on second thought, don’t, and come get some pizza before it gets cold.” They all giggled as he set them down and went about drying themselves off. “How did I get so lucky?”