Twilights House: 3:15pm
Third Person POV
"And that's how I got the title of Father Gregory, by decapitating the worm queen of omega six, and rescuing the dog people from one thousand years of gentle poking. The king of Nalarath was so grateful, he was like, 'we should make this guy priest!', and then I farted, opened a portal, and here I am." Death answered while rubbing the back of his/Gregory's head and pinching his/Gregory's left nipple with his other hand. He was also sobbing and laughing at the same time.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME?!
DEATH WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! STOP DOING THINGS!
I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF! I JUST HAVE AN URGE TO DO EVERYTHING!
Oh and everything was going so well...Well...better than this anyway...
FLASHBACK!
Twilight's house: 12:59pm
Death waited patiently for Celestia or Luna to speak. Everypony, save them, Twilight, and Spike had left. Rarity had to return to Opalescence. Fluttershy had to return to Angel and her other animal friends. Applejack had to return to the apple farm to help out Granny-Smith and Big Mac. Rainbow Dash went to her cloud house for a nap. And Pinkie Pie just left after saying goodbye, without saying where she was going.Probably going to get more cake...Crazy mare.
So now the remaining group sat in Twilight's living room, minus a table, on comfortable pillows. It was starting to irritate Death with how quiet it was. Normally he liked quiet. But this was that awkward moment quiet, like when someone farts really loud in Church. They just sat there in the awkwardness, soaking it all in. Death had assumed that since they were princesses, they would know how to start things like this. Personally, he couldn't care less who started, he just wanted to find a way to punish Gregory, and fast. Being in his body was...doing things to him. He was tempted to start rubbing his head for no reason. Withholding those urges, he decided to just clear his throat at them.
"Am I to assume that there is more to this? Who starts? What's the topic?," Death asked impatiently while squeezing his hands together. Both Celestia and Luna coughed nervously and put on a fake smile.
"I-Uh...I think it would be best if I asked a question, then you, and then Luna, and then Twilight or Spike if they have any." Celestia said with a nervous smile.What was that power from him just now? It felt so...dark.
"Very well then Princess Celestia, proceed," Death replied while biting his/Gregory's lip. He was getting urges now to start touching himself, you know....down there. He wasn't aroused or anything, it just seemed so tempting for him to reach down and take hold of something. Luckily Celestia and Luna were both to busy being uncomfortable at that strange power they were sensing from Death to notice. Twilight and Spike however, both noticed something was amiss with Gregory. They decided to stay quiet for now though.
"Well I suppose we should start with something simple. Where are you from originally?," Celestia asked in a calm tone.
"Nalarath," Death replied. "A happy place of color and sunshine," he added sarcastically, causing Celestia to raise an eyebrow. "Ok my turn. How old is Equestria?"
"Currently, over 3000 years." Replied Celestia.
And I bet you've seen it all huh Princess... Try as you might, you cant hide facts from me, hey cloak, how old is Equestria? (Equestira is 3012 years old.) Huh so she was telling the truth... Well... how old does that make Princess Celestia? (Princess Celestia is 2235. Her birthday is in five months.) I see...and Luna? (Princess Luna is 2220. Her birthday is in three months.) Interesting...Gregory I hope your paying attention at how I'm using your robes. This is vital information that will help you later on.
Not like I can do anything besides watch you toy around in my body...And why so serious all the sudden?
Because I ate the coffee mug and cried at Christmas.
...What?
"I believe it is my turn. How many people are there in your world?" Asked Luna while shifting in her pillow seat.
"Currently 745,648,953. Wait...52," Death replied in an automatic, uncaring manner. I'll have to make this quick, that might have been the king that just died. I can only hope...I swear he cheated me at that poker game. Seriously though, how else could he have gotten five aces besides cheating?
Everypony was slightly taken aback by his bluntness. After a moment, Luna asked, "But...how can you be so sure that it's that many?"
"You asked out of turn. I'm not answering that," Death replied with a cheeky smile, causing Luna to growl.
"You will answer me young Gregory! Or so help me-," Luna started, but was cut off by Celestia.
Ha!...She thinks I'm young.
She also thinks your me.
Oh yeah...
"He is right in this case Luna. We did agree to take turns."
"But Tia I...ugh fine. I'm sorry Gregory," Luna apologized with her head held low.
"You are forgiven Princess Tuna."
Luna looked at Gregory through slanted eyes and asked, "Di...Did you just call me Princess Tuna?"
"I don't believe so," Death replied innocently. "Now then, do either of you have a question?" Death asked, referring to Twilight and Spike.
Fast-forward to now
The questions were simple and non-important trivia at first, well, that's how Death felt about them anyway. I wont go into detail about the questions, but I assure you they weren't that important. What was important, was Death's condition getting worse and worse. He had eventually given into his desires of touching himself, and was constantly rubbing himself while answering their questions.
And now here he was in an awkward pose, both of his/Gregory's hands on his/Gregory's ass, while at the same time, crying and laughing. Death had realized what was going on halfway in the interview. He was not used to being into a body for so long, and the many emotions and feelings he never experienced were much to overwhelming. He was able to withhold the desires to experience them all in the beginning. But eventually, he just decided fuck it and gave in. Death knew that he had to get out of Gregory's body, and fast. The problem with Death escaping was, he had forgotten how.
The ponies and young dragon were very worried for Gregory. So far, Twilight and Spike had never seen him acting like this. Spike began to wonder if Gregory was still recovering from his lost friends in Nalarath, and if this was some weird way of him coping.
Fuck...If I can't leave by choice...how can I escape for ice-cream? Wait...what about extreme pain? That usually works out in the end.
I don't like that idea at all... Look we can be rational about this. Just come back here with me and I'll go towards my body. No one needs to get hurt. especially not me.
Too late I'm going with plan 'hurt me/Gregory/bacon ride.' But I have to be sneaky about it, I cant hurt this body for some reason. I guess it's because the emotions are telling me no...Hmm, what if I convinced one of the ponies to hurt me?
I don't really see that happening anytime soon. Sure they may not like us, but that doesn't mean they'll attack us for no good reason.
...Is that a bet I hear?
Erm...no. I was just uh...complimenting you on your nice black tie!
Nice try...but my tie is green.
Death, desperate to be out of Gregory's body to restore his sanity, came up with an idea on how to get the ponies to hurt him. While still fondling himself, he turned to Celestia and said, "Ok my turn again. Knock Knock."
...What?
Luna whispered into Celestia's ear, "What did he just say?"
Spike and Twilight both sat there, mouths agape, thinking the same thing, What?
"This is the part where one of you says 'who's there'. It's a human joke, and trust me, you'll love it." Death replied with a smirk.
You asked her...a knock knock joke...Why? Gregory asked to the TV, while trying his best not to flip out from the pain that Death's random behavior was causing.
I technically didn't ask a knock knock joke, I started one Which technically means that YOU started a knock knock joke, not me, laughed Death while dancing in Gregory's body.
...I hate you so much right now Death...I'm considering giving hell look.
Oh lighten up. Its just a knock knock joke to ease some of the stress and develop bonds..
...Somehow I don't believe you. Since when do you care about making bonds? Last time I checked, never. It also doesn't help your case that we were talking about ways to get them to hurt me just seconds ago. What are you planning Death?
Shut up pancake man!
"Uh...who's there?", Luna replied with a slight smile. She did enjoy good humor, and she was rather curious to see what humans considered funny.
"A dead baby." Death replied while trying not to smile and failing.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
Dead serious...pun intended
Luna and everypony else gasped at that. "I'm going to assume that a baby is a human's version of a foal, that being said, why would a dead baby be knocking at the door? And why a dead baby to begin with?" Luna asked, with a horrid look on her face.
"Oh perhaps I should have specified. Your are right that a baby is basically a human's version of a foal. Now let me explain the joke. You see,the dead baby couldn't possibly know, because he his dead. I should have given more detail to that and said, 'A man holding a dead baby,' that way, you would know he was using the baby to-" Death didn't get to finish his morbid joke, as he felt a blast of pure magic hit him squarely in the chest. Normally he would have just shaken it off, but being in Gregory's body meant that he could register pain, and man did that spell hurt!
But at least Death's crazy plan had worked. Soon both Gregory and Death felt a crazy force pulling at them. In a matter of moments, Gregory was back in control of his body, while Death returned to the void, to view him safely from afar.. Both parties were happy for the return of familiarity. Their victory was short lived however, as Gregory picked himself up, and came face to face with a very angry Luna.
Oh fuck me...
Get in line.