Chapter One: Liquid Gold
I walked quietly through the town, heading towards the Everfree forest. I didn't intend to stay there long, the Pegasai had scheduled heavy rain for this afternoon. I just wanted to watch. I wanted to see the way the clouds would sit over Ponyville, and Sweet Apple Acres. I wanted to watch where I knew they wouldn't want me to help. I've never been the strongest flier, and I'm not really very coordinated. So they don't ask me to help very much. I can't really blame them. I can't see straight either, so I got fired from my last job delivering letters. I'm not much good for anything but watching.
The others know it too. They talk about me behind my back. I know that they don't really mean any harm, but sometimes it's really frustrating. I'm not very good at explaining myself, and sometimes the others treat me like I'm not even there. It's hurtful. Though I suppose everyone is treated like that sometimes, it feels like it happens to me more often than anypony else.
Stopping on the bridge going over the creek, I stood on my back hooves, placing my front hooves on the railing, and looked over the water. It flowed along peacefully, gently making its way over stones and through the cattails growing along the edge. There was a voice to it, as though it knew what was coming. It whispered in a way that suggested fast movement and roaring. I leaned over further, looking at the stones glinting in the water. Almost before I knew what was happening, I felt myself going over the rail, tumbling into the water, I sputtered and fell twice again into the water before managing to get to my hooves. I looked up, seeing a mare and a colt looking down at me from the bridge, “hey there Derpy, wanna be more careful?” The dusky purple colt sneered at me. I've seen him before, but I don't know his name.
The other is a light blue color, and I can see she's a Pegasus from the way she's holding her wings. I don't know her though. She smirks down at me, “your mane looks good like that. In your face, so we can't see your stupid eyes.”
The two walk off, laughing, before I can even think of a response. They pushed me off the bridge... I don't even know... Why would they do that? What did I even do wrong? I hang my head, leaving my wet mane in my face, letting it hide my eyes. It takes me a long time to climb up the bank of the creek, taking careful steps so I don't even stumble. I look at the bridge, then I look at the sky. The other Pegasus have already covered it in clouds, and I can feel the atmosphere becoming heavier. I just stand there, looking at the sky, trembling. Other ponies have been mean to me before, making fun of me or tripping me up, but... I grind my teeth, hanging my head again, eyes shut tight. I slowly sit down, taking heavy breaths, trying hard to keep my composure.
I lose it as I feel the first drops of rain on my back. I feel the hot tears streaming out of my eyes, and I cover my face with my hooves, sobbing. My whole body shaking... I don't even know what I did wrong. I just wanted to watch... I'm useless. I'm useless like everypony says. I know that's what they say behind my back. Me, going from job to job, always fired for breaking things or because I can't do something right, something that seems so easy for everypony else!
The rain thunders harder on my back, and I turn it into a mantra with every drop, 'useless, useless, useless. Stupid. Useless. Stupid. Useless.' It's true. I can never do anything right, and more often than not I just end up doing nothing, even when I want to, I know I'll just screw it up. I take sharp breaths, trying to calm myself down. This crying won't solve anything. It won't help, and it won't make this hurting stop. It's stupid. I'm stupid. I don't understand things as fast as other ponies, and I can't concentrate on anything. And my stupid eyes! They're right. My eyes are stupid. I can't see straight sometimes, and that makes it really hard to read.
I'm stupid... Stupid and useless... Why am I even alive? Would any of them miss me if I were dead? I shake my head, choking on my sobs, soaked with tears and rain. They wouldn't. None of them would even know I were gone. Even if they did notice, they wouldn't miss me. Nopony would miss me. I can't stop trembling at this realization. Why would they miss me? I can't even think of a reason anypony would go looking for me if I went missing.
I can hear hoofsteps near me. I don't bother to look up, still sobbing into my hooves. I can't bear to look at anyone right now. It's too hard. I can feel whoever it is standing near me. I don't bother to look up as they nudge me with their hoof, though I do try to quiet my sobs some. I'm obviously bothering them. I can feel their hoof again, resting gently on my shoulder, “excuse me miss... Are you okay?”
I shake my head, still not moving my hooves. I can tell it's a Colt by his voice. He doesn't sound like he's from around Ponyville though. Maybe Canterlot, or some place further off. I feel him sit down next to me. I move my hooves, and turn my head away. Eyes still shut, and tears still streaming. He stays quiet for a few minutes, then I feel him shift his body, “you know, I'm not from around here. I've never been able to stand it when others cry though,” he pauses for a moment. “Something horrid must have happened to make you cry like that.”
I just shake my head, he doesn't understand. How could he anyway? He's not from around here. He doesn't know who I am, or about how klutzy and useless and stupid I am. I grind my teeth and try to prevent a whole new wave of sobbing. I don't know who this strange pony is, and I don't know why he's talking to me. I feel him move again, and he touches my back with his hoof. I open my eyes, and turn my head to look at him. It's dark, afternoon has faded to dusk, and I can't see his face very well. He's dark, I can tell that, and his mane is sort of short. I can't see very well through the strands of hair in my face. He frowns, “well now... I can't see your eyes very well like that.”
I shake my head, turning away from him again. I don't want him to see my eyes. I don't want him to know what I look like, who I really am. I'm sure he'll be able to see it as soon as he sees my eyes. He'll know that I'm not like the rest. He gently turns my head with his hoof, “I think I may have a solution to the problem.”
He's holding up a hairband. I have no idea where he got it, he's not wearing a pack that I can see, though there's some vague shape around his neck. I shake my head again, “no.” I whisper the word, I know he can hear me. It's grown quiet, the clouds have stopped raining, and soon the Pegasus will push them away. “I don't want you to see them. They're not right.” I mutter the words, but I know he can hear me. My head hung, I look away.
He gently lifts my muzzle with a hoof, and shakes his head, “you're a beautiful pony, I know it. You just don't see yourself clearly.” He holds up the hairband, it's a black strip, with a white flower on it. I can't tell in the dark, though the flower looks like almost like a rose. I shut my eyes as he pushes my hair out of my face, and gently places it on my head, holding back my mane, and keeping strands of it held down, and away from my eyes. I feel him move his hooves away from my face, “there. Much better, I can see your face clearly now.”
I feel the tears start in my eyes again, and I give up and open them for this strange pony I've never seen before. Who doesn't know me. Who will see that I'm no good once he sees my eyes. I'm not actually looking at him, though my eyes are open and in his direction, I won't look at him. I don't want to see the expression on his face.
“Derpy. Look at me.”
I jump at his use of my name, and my eyes lock onto his. Fear shudders through my back, but then it melts, as I look at his eyes. They're calm, there's no threat. He nods, still keeping eye contact with me. I tremble again, this time for a different reason, though I still feel like crying. The way he's looking at me, like he's just lost something... As though he's lost me. As though I'm the only thing in this world he wants to see for the last time. “How do you know my name?” I ask, voice slightly trembling.
He doesn't answer my question. “Your eyes are like liquid gold, you know. Beautiful. They show your every emotion, and it's amazing. I've never met another pony who could express herself like you can, just through a simple glance.” He looks away, and I can see him tremble slightly, then he looks back at me, tears in his eyes. He doesn't try to stem their flow, they just fall, staining his coat and making his deep green eyes shimmer like emeralds. “Keep your eyes open Derpy. Don't hide them. They're beautiful, you'll see in time.”
I stare at him, and he stares back for what seems like the longest time, tears still streaming out of his eyes. Soon I feel my own eyes fill with tears, and they spill over, as I watch this strange colt cry. As he seems to cry over me. After what seems like hours, he gently brushes my face with a hoof, then presses his mouth against mine. I let him. I don't know why, but I kiss him back. I wrap my hooves around his back, and he breaks the kiss, wrapping his hooves around, I feel him sobbing. I hold him tight, not sure what's going on. I just shut my eyes and wait. Finally, he lets go, and I release him.
He looks at me for a minute more. His face stained with tears and his eyes so sad, so hurt, I can't bare to look at them. He turns away, then looks back, “I'm never going to see you again... I love you Derpy. Don't ever forget that.”
I watch him walk into the Everfree forest, then just stare at the spot he disappeared into. After a while I feel my body begin shaking. I look away, and cough a couple of times. I'm soaking wet. I need to get home. I stand, and walk, trembling, over the bridge. I cough a few more times, and I can't stop shaking. As I get further into town, I look up and see a few ponies running towards me. I can't quite understand what they're saying as I collapse, the world spinning slightly, and turning pitch black.