The Jackelope Valley Festival

by Froborr


Six: Jacknapping

The next morning, Lyra woke early and went directly to her assigned stage. The remaining musicians and most of the festival attendees would be arriving today, and she wanted to get a chance to practice in peace and quiet before the cocoa butter hit the fan, as Bon-Bon might say.

When she finally finished and left the stage, to her surprise, Cheesecake was waiting for her. "Hey there," the older mare said. "Have you seen your friend? I was hoping to talk to her, she left in such a hurry last night and I don't want her getting the wrong idea..."

"She's probably watching someone practice," Lyra said coldly. "I'm too busy to keep track of her for you."

Cheesecake reddened slightly. "Hey now, don't you go getting the wrong idea neither! I'm not some kind of evil money-grubber--I want that poor li'l guy to get better! I just care about this festival, too, so what's wrong with trying to do both?"

Lyra turned to her and sighed. "What if it turns out he's better off out in the wild?"

"He's not," Cheesecake countered. "He was starving and dehydrated when Raindrops brought him in. Dying. We can save him and save this festival at the same time!"

"And if you're wrong?" Lyra asked.

"Then at least we did our best! We're not just going to give up on him and turn him back out into the desert!"

Lyra shook her head. "Your best to save him, or the festival?"

"Both!" Cheesecake was starting to turn decidedly pink around the face.

"Believe it or not, I understand. This festival is your life's work, isn't it? And that's incredibly important to you--so important that it blinds you to who you might hurt. You're not the first pony that's happened to, believe me."

Pink was shading rapidly into purple. "You--" Cheesecake sputtered. "How dare you!? I stayed up all night with 'bones and Dusty and the jackelope! I sang him to sleep! I'm trying my best, and I don't understand why you and your friend are suddenly determined to make me out as some kind of villain!"

"...No," said Lyra. "You're right. Listen... the truth is that the jackelope spoke to us. Well, not 'spoke' exactly. He called to us in a dream and told us to take him out of the infirmary and to a place in the desert. That's what he really needs. So if you're telling the truth about caring for him, please, let us take him there."

Cheesecake stared at her a moment, and then burst out laughing. "Are you for real? You want me to let you take a sick animal out Luna-knows-where in the desert because of a DREAM? That's ridiculous!"

"Okay, I know how it sounds," Lyra began, "but we all had the same dream at the same time, and--"

Cheesecake raised a hoof. "Spare me," she said. "Look, I don't know what's up with you and your friend, but if that's the attitude you're going to take, fine. Don't expect to get anywhere near the jackelope any time soon, but rest assured we'll take good care of him. Enjoy the festival." She turned and stormed off, back the way she came.

At lunch, Lyra ran into Vinyl Scratch by the commissary trailer. "You're sure you know this place the jackelope wants to go to?" she asked quietly.

Vinyl nodded. "'Shyeah. It's way down at the bottom of the valley, maybe seven, eight hours walk. If we stick to the plan, we're back by noon tomorrow. I'll miss my first shift, but you and Thunder will make your sets."

Lyra nodded back. "Okay. Well... then I guess there's nothing to do but wait for nightfall..."

Nightfall. Another bonfire crackled merrily in the open space by the commissary trailer, and the cooking staff were busy dishing out plates of grilled corn on the cob, baked beans, and fire-roasted veggies to the crowd of musicians, performers, and attendees, all eagerly awaiting the morning and the festival's true beginning.

In the shadows behind Lyra and Raindrops' trailer, three dark figures gathered, clad hoof-to-mane and muzzle-to-tail in form-fitting black suits. "We all here?" whispered Lyra.

"Almost," said Raindrops. "Thunder Axe was right behind me."

"Here I am!" said Thunder Ax, earning a "Shhhh!" from the other three as she dropped out of the sky into the middle of the group. "Hey, neat outfits."

"Where's your stealth suit?" demanded Vinyl.

"My wha? You mean those things you're wearing? I don't have one."

"Don't have a--who doesn't have a stealth suit?" asked Lyra.

"C'mon, guys," said Raindrops. "She's not from Ponyville, remember?"

There was a two-pony chorus of "Oh yeah"s from Lyra and Vinyl.

Thunder Axe blinked in confusion. "Wait. Are you saying that every pony from Ponyville--at all times...?"

"'Nah," said Vinyl. "Not foals, obviously. Or in the shower."

"Or on Hearts and Hooves Day," added Raindrops.

Vinyl looked at her curiously. "You don't carry a stealth suit on Hearts and Hooves Day? But what if you need to be stealthy?"

"Well," Raindrops started, "you don't need the suit, because--"

"Ladies," Lyra interrupted, as sternly as possible while staying quiet. "We have a job to do. You have the, uh, getaway vehicle ready, Vinyl?"

"Heck yeah I do," Vinyl Scratch said. "I'll be out front of the infirmary in seven minutes."

Lyra nodded. The two unicorns both had perfect rhythm and knew at least one instrument's part in Xylo Phone's "Seven Minutes of Heaven" crystaphone concerto. They could both play it in their heads to time seven minutes precisely. "All right. Start timing... now." She turned to Thunder Axe. "I guess not having a stealth suit will make you a better distraction," she said. "You ready?"

Thunder Axe patted the guitar slung across her back. "I was born ready!"

"Great," said Lyra. "Give us time to get in position before you set it off."

"Gotcha," said Thunder. She lifted off and flew in the general direction of the infirmary.

"Raindrops, let's go," Lyra said.

"Right!" said Raindrops.

The two trotted to the infirmary while Lyra went over the plan in her mind. It was fairly simple. Raindrops had seen that the jackelope was in a bed on the east side of the infirmary, curtained off, and Vinyl had noticed a window on the west side of the trailer that was kept open, probably for what little in the way of breezes the valley got. The window was a little small for a pegasus to squeeze through, what with the shoulder muscles and wings, but Lyra was small enough that she could fit. Unfortunately, she wasn't confident in her ability to lift herself up and through it, at least not without taking a while and making a racket.

So, while Thunder Axe created a distraction, Raindrops fly onto the roof of the trailer and help Lyra through the window, then Lyra would open the front door, let Raindrops in, and the two of them would sneak in and snatch the jackelope while the doctor, Dusty, and Cheesecake were distracted. Then Vinyl would meet them out front in a cart, and off into the desert they'd go.

Just as Lyra and Raindrops reached the infirmary, there was a screech of guitar music and a sudden explosion of lightning arced up from the ground about fifty feet past the far side of the trailer. It curved over in midair, splashing back down and sparking harmlessly across the tops of several trailers. Another arc followed it, and then another.

"Guess that's our distraction," said Lyra.

"Yeah..." said Raindrops, staring at it starry-eyed. "Sweeeet..."

"Yes, it's great, now come on," Lyra whispered urgently. "We have to move. We can't know how long that'll keep Cheesecake and them at the east window."

Raindrops nodded and sprang for the roof of the trailer, the sound of her hooves on its metal surface masked by the power chords and electric sizzles of Thunder's display. She lay down on the roof and extended her forehooves to Lyra, who jumped up and grabbed them. Almost effortlessly, Raindrops swung her and tossed her into the open window. Gracefully, Lyra uncurled and landed in the trailer.

And that's when everything went wrong.

"Um," said Dusty, turning to face her. "Did you just... through the window?"

Lyra thought quickly. "No?" she hazarded. Not quickly enough, I guess. She cursed herself for not thinking it through--of course they wouldn't all stay at the window watching the show. Of course Cheesecake would send Dusty to check it out, and of course that would mean she would run straight into him!

"...So to judge by your outfit, you're trying to sneak in and kidnap the jackelope. And also you're from Ponyville."

"Well..." said Lyra, still thinking quickly and trying to edge toward the door, which was difficult with Dusty standing right in front of it. "I guess I am from Ponyville, but I lived in Canterlot for a while, too."

Saw Bones stuck his head out through the curtain, a syringe in his mouth. "What's the ruckus about--wait, who are you!?" He stepped out into the main area of the trailer, Cheesecake right behind him.

"Raindrops' friend," said Cheesecake. "I did warn you. Dusty, take her to security."

"Yes ma'am!"

This was bad, very bad. Lyra could see a solution... but she was going to get in a lot of trouble for it. Still, what choice did she have? No choice at all. She'll forgive me. Probably. Eventually. Taking a deep breath, just before Dusty reached her she let out a bloodcurdling scream and used her magic to fling the door open.

Hearing Lyra's scream, Raindrops rushed into through the door as swiftly as she could. Quickly she took in Rusty standing menacingly near Lyra and Sawbones standing by with a syringe in his mouth, and drew the logical conclusion. "Lyra!" she cried, and rushed at Dusty, knocking him to the floor with a blow of her hoof. She whirled to face Cheesecake and Sawbones, who backed up slightly as the enraged pegasus stalked toward them.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Lyra dashed past them, through the curtains. Seeing the jackelope, she levitated it along with its blanket, and then turned to race out of the trailer. "Raindrops, c'mon!" she shouted, and then Vinyl was there with a cart, several pillows in the bottom making a nest where Lyra gently deposited the jackelope. The two unicorns galloped toward the edge of the festival ground, Raindrops flying above them, shortly joined by Thunder Axe.

"Woo!" cried the Daughter of Discord as they crossed into the desert. "We did it!"

Lyra and Vinyl collapsed on the ground while the pegasi landed next to them. "Five minute break," gasped Lyra. "Then we continue on. Cheesecake knows we're taking the jackelope into the desert, it won't be long before she sends someone after us."

"Wait, how does she know that?" asked Vinyl.

Briefly, Lyra explained.

"You did WHAT!?" shouted Raindrops.