I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude


Time to Kill Fiddy Men...Again

"EVERYPONY! INTO THE PALACE! IT'S THE ONLY SAFE PLACE!" Shining Armor shouted in a loud voice.

Eventually, everypony ran to the palace. To Princess Cadance's relief, there were no casualties.

Ben looked at the creatures.

"What are these things?" He said as he saw the creatures roaming the streets, destroying anything they see.

"Zombies?" Mark said with a shrug.

"I doubt it." Ben said. "They would be trying to break into the palace and eating our brains, not wrecking everything around them."

The Mane 6 walked up to Mark, Ben, Hank and his friends, and Cotton.

"A word please." Twilight said with a concerned face.

Cotton sighed and nodded.

They walked away to a room.

"Alright. Who are you?" Twilight said with a small glare.

Mark and Ben looked at each other with concerned faces. Hank and his friends just scratched the back of their necks.

Cotton groaned. "We're humans." He muttered.

The Mane 6 gasped. "HUMANS?-!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "YOU MEAN LYRA WAS TELLING THE TRUTH ALL ALONG!-!"

Dale couldn't help but let out a small smile.

"But what about those creatures?" Twilight asked. "How do you know them?"

Cotton sighed. "They are the fiddy men I killed..."

The Mane 6 let out surprised looks.

"I'll explain from the beginning..." Cotton said as he lowed his ears.

He explained about how he had fought in WWII, lost his shins, and started a new life. He had a son whom he didn't like, and eventually a son whom he adored more than anyone. Eventually, due to a sushi restaurant accident, he then died. He was sent to Equestria by his god so that Cotton could 'redeem himself.'

Eventually, Dale came up and explained how their world ended and that they were sent to Equestria.

Hank walked up and explained a bit about himself and his friends. He didn't tell the girls about Dale being a brony, since he thought that would be too weird.

Bill then explained a bit about Hank's families, and the other people the guys knew from Earth, that came to Equestria.

Mark walked up and explained that he and Ben was also from Earth. He told them that Midway wasn't his real name and that it is actually Mark Walsh. He didn't mentioned about his friends whom he killed.

Ben also explained that Mark saved him and his sister's and unborn nephew's life, which is why he is in debt to Mark.

Kahn explained how golf was something from Earth and why the guys wanted it to name it after their homes.

Boomhauer explained about bronies, but the girls didn't understand what he was saying, much to Hank's relief.

Cotton just sighed and looked down at the ground. "Well now ya know."

"Why didn't ya tell me the truth?" Applejack said in a sadden voice.

Cotton let out a tear. When he realized his tear, he shook his head.

"Don't cry soldier..." He muttered to himself.

"Let me ask ya a question." Applejack said. "Ya lied to us about where yer really from. But did yer god really sent ya here so that ya may redeem yerself?"

Cotton looked at Hank, his friends, Ben, and Mark.

"Well..." Cotton said. "At first, I didn't wanna. But apparently, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think God really knows what he's doing."

Mark let out a smile.

"He sent me mah friends so that I may have a second chance." Cotton said as he smiled back at Mark.

The Mane 6 stared at Cotton.

Applejack smiled. "I believe ya."

Twilight smiled. "I believe you."

Rarity nodded. "Me too."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Me three!"

Pinkie Pie smiled widely. "ME FOUR!"

Fluttershy smiled weakly. "Me...um...five."

Cotton smiled. "Thanks girls."

"Um..sorry to kill the moment," Ben said as he clapped his hooves. "But we oughta deal with these creatures."

Cotton took a deep breath. "I'll take care of them." He said, earning him everypony's concerned faces. "I killed them before, I can kill them again."

Mark walked up. "Count me in."

Ben walked up. "Let's do this." He said as he got his pole ready.

"What about us?"

Everypony turned to six Crystal Ponies.

"Have we met?" Applejack asked.

"I am Junichiro. These are my acquaintances, Dusty, Buckley, Topsy, Appleseed, and Chuck."

Dusty spoke up. "Princess Cadance and her husband gave us a home, and we'll be damned if zombies are gonna destroy it!" He said as his horn glowed.

Topsy took out his bayonet. "Time to kill!" He said as he took a deep breath and puffed up his cheeks extremely large, which made everypony around him uncomfortable. Cotton just laughed.

Appleseed smiled as his horn glowed. "Time for a little action."

Buckley chuckled as his horn glowed. "Right on Apples."

Chuck got out his trumpet. "This bad boy broke that anger management teacher's face for one month. Add my magic, and I'm an unstoppable fighting machine! I am Chuck Mangione! Not Chick Mangione!"

Cotton grinned. "Looks like it's up to me, Mark, Ben, and the Crystal Six!"


After convincing Shining Armor and Princess Cadance that they'll take care of everything, Cotton and his eight allies walked outside.

Cotton growled at the creatures.

Mark smirked as he cracked his hooves. Ben got his pole ready.

The horns of Junichiro, Buckley, Topsy, Chuck, Appleseed, and Dusty all began to glow.

"Kill 'em all." Cotton said in an evil voice. "Let's all I ever asked for mah men."

Immediately, Cotton ran up to a creature and kicked it in the face, snapping its neck.

Mark picked up a wooden plank and smashed two heads.

Ben ran to one creature and impaled its head with his pole.

He took it out, backing away as he cleaned his pole.

As he repeated this process to three other creatures, Topsy ran and stabbed a creature in the head.

He laughed and puffed his cheeks as he stabbed four more creatures.

Dusty got his guitar and smashed it on a creature's head.

He chuckled as he bashed two more creatures.

Appleseed stared as creatures ran towards him.

Appleseed let out a calm yawn as he used his magic to get a hammer and smashed the heads of three creatures.

Eventually, Chuck attacked creatures with his trumpet.

As he finished killing four creatures, he noticed Buckley killing two creatures with a shovel.

Chuck noticed a creature sneaking up to Buckley and charged at the creature.

As he finished killing it, he said in short breaths to Buckley, "You owe me big time..."

Junichiro used his magic to wield two wooden planks.

He smirked as he smashed six heads.

Cotton, Mark, and Ben charged at four creatures and, without ease, killed them.

"Just fifteen more..." Cotton said as he panted. Mark and Ben were also tired. They noticed that all the creatures they killed were reduced to dust.

"Leave it to us." Junichiro said as he and his Crystal allies walked towards the creatures.

Cotton smiled as he saw Junichiro, Dusty, Buckley, Topsy, Appleseed, and Chuck surround the last fifteen creatures.

Chuck's horn glowed. "You shouldn't mess with us."

Appleseed's horn glowed. "We're, like, unstoppable."

Buckley's horn glowed. "Guess what? Chicken butt."

Topsy's horn glowed. "Time to die, my precious."

Dusty's horn glowed. "We are Crystal Ponies."

Junichiro's horn glowed. "This is our home. And we will not let you destroy it..."

Immediately, they all shot a beam from their horns, reducing the creatures to dust.

Mark and Ben stared in awe as Cotton smiled triumphantly.

Junichiro, Dusty, Buckley, Topsy, Appleseed, and Chuck all let out a cheer.

Dusty played his guitar and Chuck played his trumpet as Topsy puffed his cheeks while smiling.

Appleseed took out two apples and gave one to Buckley.

Junichiro smiled and said, "Victory," in Japanese.

Eventually, all the ponies inside the palace walked outside and were surprised and delighteda to see that the creatures were gone.

Shining Armor walked up to Cotton. "We don't know how to thank you..." He said with a grateful smile.

Cotton smirked. "Start by thanking the Crystal Six." He said as he pointed to Junichiro, Dusty, Buckley, Topsy, Appleseed, and Chuck.

"They did most of the work." Mark said.

"They're the ones whom you should be thanking." Ben said.

Eventually, the Crystal Empire townspeople started cheering for Junichiro, Dusty, Buckley, Topsy, Appleseed, and Chuck, now known as the Crystal Six.

Cotton chuckled. "You didn't do bad, Ben."

Ben smiled. "I'm gonna have to thank Zecora again..."

Cotton then frowned. "I have a feeling that Alex and his friends were involved in this..." He thought. "I am really gonna enjoy killing them..."