“I-I’m sorry Twilight, I didn’t mean- it’s just...” I began, still upset as the odd tear trickled down my cheek. We had broken up from the hug, now resting our backs against the metal side of the DeLorean, looking up at the clear blue sky with only a few wisps of clouds across the horizon. “E-everything that has happened has caught up. Coming here, seeing all you talking horses, encountering Nightmare, dying, meeting the princesses, almost dying again, and now this!” I throw my arms up in the air in frustration, as Twilight looked on in concern. “I can’t go home! I’m stuck here in stupid pony land with you damn horses while my family have no idea where I am!
“They probably think that I’m dead, but can only mourn my name because I am here and not there!” I stand up, looking up at the sun hanging high in the sky. “This is all your fucking fault God!” I shake my fist up at the sky. “Why did you do this to me?!” I started to find it hard to breathe. “Why am I here you bastard?!” My chest is really hurting. “WHY-”
ZAP!
My rant came to an abrupt end as I crumpled like a sack of potatoes, accompanied by the feeling that I have just been clobbered round the head with a truncheon.
I was in some kind of void, similar to the one that Nightmare Moon made me visit, except that this was pure white instead of pure darkness. Blinking, I looked around for any evil Alicorns that may wish to torment me. But I saw nothing.
There was the sound of thunder, then it began to rain. Looking up, I saw a grey storm cloud looming above, depositing its watery contents on me. Lightning flashed amongst the inside of the cloud, briefly illuminating it. Then a bolt of lightning struck the ground, causing a portion of that ground to turn black, which oozed out like it was a puddle. The rain stopped and I looked up, only to see that the cloud was gone.
“This stuff is icky, what do you call it again?” Asked a very familiar voice. I turned sharply to look back at the black puddle, to see Princess Luna standing up to her torso in the black liquid, with splodges of it coating her mane, tail, coat and wings. Princess Celestia stood to the side, watching her sister as she curls her French moustache with a hoof.
“Money, my dear sister,” she said, albeit in a rich, Texan accent. Luna looked skeptical at her sister, as she gave her wings and experimental flap. The black sludge had caused the feathers to stick and clump, making it impossible to fly. Celestia used her magic to pull out from the puddle a gold bar, before devouring it hungrily, whilst Luna struggled to get out of the puddle.
A large storm cloud formed overhead, thundering ominously. Lightning struck the two ponies, and there was a bright flash that forced me to shield my eyes. Looking back, I saw a small scale Ponyville, engulfed by a rising mushroom cloud, which glowed a menacing red.
“Thou hast a most peculiar dream mind,” Princess Luna said from beside me, causing me to jump away in surprise, only to topple backwards off of a ledge, hurtling through the white expanse...
I woke with a start, raising a hand to my aching head. Blinking to clear the spots in my vision, I look around and saw Twilight standing above me, looking very guilty.
“I’m sorry Declan, but you were having a panic attack. I had to calm you down,” she said sadly. I reach a hand up and patted the side of her head.
“You’re forgiven Twilight, because you are a genius!” I said, sitting up sharply and bringing her in for a tight hug. Surprised, she tried to squirm out of my grip until I let her go.
“B-but I knocked you out! I casted a sleep spell to make you relax!” She said in bewilderment, taking a step back as I stood up.
“And I’m glad you did! I had a dream, I think. It was weird. But I understand what I need to do to get back home!” I said excitedly, a smile rapidly growing on my face.
“Then what do you need to do?” She asked.
“Tell me Twilight, have you ever seen Back To The Future?”
A walk back the the library, with the DeLorean levitating with us in Twilight’s magic, later, I had it all planned out with help from Twilight.
The DeLorean in the films required a lot of power in order to make a jump. In the first film, Marty McFly manages to use a bolt of lightning to give the DeLorean enough juice to jump back to 1985. If this DeLorean needs the same amount of power, then lightning should do the trick. All I need is to get Rainbow Dash to find a storm cloud and cause a lightning trick, since that Pegasi here have total control over the weather here in Equestria.
Then came a problem: conventional fuel. Equestria doesn’t have petrol at all as far as I know, but what about oil? Its a good possibility, according to Twilight. And I know just the pony to ask.
We stopped in front of the large tree that was our home. My lavender Unicorn companion slowly lowered the DeLorean to the ground outside of the library. As soon as the tires touched dirt, she released her magical aura and let out a sigh of exhaustion.
“That thing is heavy,” she said, panting from the effort it took to haul it over here. “How much does it weigh?”
“Hell if I know,” I say, shrugging. We both entered the library, where Spike examining the titles of various books on a shelf. He turned at the sound of the door, and smiled.
“Hey Twilight, Declan. Where have you guys been?” He asked, walking over. He noticed that Twilight was looking tired, and frowned. “Are you okay Twilight? You look tired.”
“I’m fine Spike, but I need you to take a letter,” she said, walking over to a chair and sinking down into it, sighing as she relaxed. Spike quickly ran off to find a quill and parchment, before returning, poised to write. Twilight indicated with a nod of her head that I was the one who was going to dictate the letter to Spike, who turned to give me a curious look. I cleared my throat in preparation to speak.
“Dear Princess Celestia, I am Declan from Ponyville. We me-”
“How do you spell ‘Decklan’?” Spike asked, and I sighed.
“I’ll write it, it’ll be easier if I do,” I said. Spike handed over the quill and a new parchment, and I went to the table in the middle of the room to write.
Dear Princess Celestia,
My name is Declan, from Ponyville. We met at the Summer Sun Celebration along with your sister, Princess Luna. I am writing to ask for your help. Right now, I currently have no means of going back to my home, since the machine that brought me here needs a special kind of fuel, called petrol. I have asked your student, Twilight, and she said that petrol does not exist in Equestria. However, petrol is the refined product of oil: a sticky, black substance that is quite flammable. I was curious, since you rule over these lands, if you have ever encountered oil. I understand that you will be busy, and I thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Yours sincerely,
Declan
I gave the letter to Spike, who rolled it up and took a gulp of air, before unleashing a burst of emerald green flame, which engulfed the letter.
“Hey! That’s my letter you’re burning, matchstick!” I said angrily, as the letter was burnt down to a fine purple ash.
“Spike’s fire doesn’t incinerate like normal fire, it's a magical fire that sends whatever it burns to wherever he wants it to go,” Twilight explained, as Spike opened the front door and the purple mist darted out like grease lightning.
“Oh, cool.” So its not unlike an email then. “How long do you think it would take for the Princess to reply?” I ask.
“Not long, Princess Celestia usually replies to my letters fairly quickly.”
“Do you want some tea, Twilight?” Spike asked, after he had closed the front door and made his way to the side of the chair that Twilight was sitting in.
“Oh yes please Spike, that would be lovely!” Spike nodded and turned to me.
“I’m fine Spike, thanks,” I say before the young dragon could ask. He then made his way to the kitchen to brew the tea. “I’m going to check the DeLorean, see if its alright,” I say, heading to the door.
“Alright, but remember that we’re going talk about where you’re from!” She called to me in excitement as I opened the door and stepped outside. Once outside, I closed it and made my way to the car parked nearby.
Reaching it, I ran my hand across the smooth metal roof of the DeLorean, before opening one of its gull wing doors, and peering inside. The interior hadn’t changed at all, the digital speedometer on the dashboard was there, along with the bag of potatoes lying on the passenger seat. At least, they were potatoes a week ago.
I gingerly grabbed a corner of the bag and quickly threw the ‘potatoes’ out. Looking inside again, I saw a Cadbury’s chocolate bar on the dashboard. I reached for it, only to find that it had melted. Damn.
Throwing that out too, I gave the interior one last look before closing the door and sighing, just as the door to the library swung open. Spike hurried out, followed by Twilight who levitated a cup of tea with her. In Spike’s hand was a rolled up piece of parchment, with a crest that resembled Princess Celestia’s cutie mark.
Spike and Twilight had said something, but I ignored them. I snatched the letter from Spike when he was in range and broke the crest on the letter, unfurling it to read, and notice that there wasn’t just one letter, but two.
Dear Declan,
Both my sister and I are very sorry to hear that you are unable to return home, please accept our condolences. My faithful student Twilight is correct in that ‘petrol’ does not exist in Equestria, nor have I heard of it anywhere else. However, I am pleased to tell you that I am familiar with the substance you called oil. May I be right in assuming that oil can also power your machine? If so, please send us a letter with as much detail about what you need, and we shall try our best to accommodate.
Yours sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Dearest Declan,
This is Princess Luna writing our first letter in millenia! We apologise for our barbaric writing skills, it hath been very long since we last wrote to a correspondant. We received thy letter and art truely sorry to hear of your dire circumstance. We I promise thou that we shalt do everything in ourst power to help thee in your plight.
Princess Luna