Trying my hardest to rid my mouth of what assailed it, I kept my thoughts on other things. I kept moving up the corridor until it pulled away at two turns. Who knew the castle was so spacious?
I took the turn to the right, trotting past another restroom while I was at it--mares' room this time. Nopony would catch me going in there, and definitely not on Hearth's Warming. That would just be...
I stopped thinking about it. Wondering if there was an empty room, I passed an overly spacious and dim room. Going into it, it was a little dusty, and the floor rustled as I stepped through it. Something ripped when my hooves trampled over it. I ignored it for the time being. Finding a stone alcove, I drifted up towards it.
My eyelids were starting to get heavy. I took a glance at Equestria from outside, and found it to be dark. I guessed that the moon would be rising in a few, thanks to Princess Luna. My eyes closed as that was my last thought for the night...
In the seconds after the lights came on, I realized three things. The first was that Princess Cadence was standing in the doorway I had come in through, looking confused. Second, I realized that I was glaringly obvious in my gold armor. Third? I had slept in the library.
"A Royal Guard? Is there a reason you are in the library?"
I was shell-shocked for a second, still getting used to the fact that I had slept in the library for...how long? I looked outside--still dark. That was good. I probably saved my hide there; I think I would've moved away from Equestria if I'd been there all night.
I briefly considered thanking the Princess, until she ahemed. Oh, Celestia.
My mane prickled, and I answered: "I, um. I thought, my Lady, that it was a vacant room."
Can't sell the deeds to the property to the Cakes, huh?
"And you slept here?"
"It was not for long, your Highness." I sound like I'm making excuses now. That's not good.
"There's a room just across here that's not being used. I'm sure nopony would mind," Cadence said. "If you had just looked a little further, you would have been right on it."
Oh.
The sad thing was, it wasn't that I didn't look far enough. Instead, I had gone right past it. I'm guessing it was karma that that room had a leaky ceiling. If the Princesses lived in this estate, couldn't they have fixed that? I thought about complaining, but then realized that the Princesses--any of them--could boot me right off the Guard in the blink of an eye. Again, I closed my eyes.
You know what else happened again? I couldn't sleep. I'll say this: The beds were damp and creaky, the wallpaper was peeling, and overall it was a mess.
I got out and wandered. I heard magic being used in that otherworldly hiss. I looked outside and the moon was going up. At least I got some sleep.
"Who goes there?"
This time I knew who it was before they had to speak again. The pony in question--and princess in question--was none other than Luna. I tried my best to keep quiet; I had heard that Luna was more judging than her sister. The dust particles in the room I had slept in were conspiring against me, though, and found their way into my muzzle.
"Ah...ah..."
"We can hear thee, trespasser!" Luna said, raising her voice.
I stepped into view. "Your Honor."
"A Royal Guard?" This seemed to be a recurring thing. Horsefeathers, does everypony have to make me so conspicuous?
"Yes, your Honor," I said, trying to convey with my eyes, It's a long story.
"What is that look thou hast given me?" Oops. I think that came out wrong.
"M-my lady. I apologize. I was just admitted to the Royal Guard, and, not wanting to go without a job for so many moons, I asked if I was permitted to stay."
"Hmm. Well. Be on your way, then."
"I apologize, your Highness. I was asked to keep an eye on the royalty."
Luna sighed inwardly, or at least that's what I guessed. "Very well, you may come in."
I flapped my way in, standing near the back corner of the room after half-hurrying past Luna. Her horn was glowing; she was indeed casting magic. I followed where I thought the magic might be. I thought she might have been redecorating.
However, I realized just in time that she was lowering the moon, saving myself from what would have been me looking stupid. I had nearly said, "Where will you put that painting?", referring to a painting on the wall, naturally.
I silently stepped out of the room, congratulating myself on a job well done. One out of five occupants of the castle watched over.
"Look out!"
"Eh?!" I looked up to see another Princess--Twilight Sparkle again. My first thought was: Why is she telling me to look out? The thought accompanying it soon was: Is that her attempt at food flapping at my feet? Along with that came: It's not staring hungrily at my feet, is it?!
The food was what appeared to be a pot pie, with rather brown flaps of what I hoped was noodles on top of some greens. The green stuff is broccoli, right--wait, I can't be thinking about that!
I turned tail. No, I didn't run away, really! I mean when I turned around for a strategic retreat, it took a chunk out of my tail feathers. At least, I hoped that that was all it had taken a chunk out of.
Taking a leaping jump and spreading my wings in the thin corridor turned out to be quite hard, especially with a pot pie leaping at my hooves. I perched on the open door of the throne room at the end of the hall, and, trying not to think about what would happen if it cleaved its teeth into my hoof, jabbed it downwards.
My life flashed before my eyes, and sadly it was taking a while on the part where I was fighting the food. I was about to think, go faster! when I saw that it wasn't flashing anymore, and that I really had been fighting the food. It nearly nipped me on the nose, and I stumbled backwards into a door. Guess who was on the other side of the door? Luna.
I sweated furiously, which really didn't help me think of something useful. Not hearing anything, I peeked around the door.
Phew. Somehow, Luna had managed to stay as asleep as a petrified log in winter.
Twilight was still a nervous wreck. Trying to be resourceful (and keep it still while she got some magic ready), I grabbed the painting I had been ready to ask about earlier and jammed it over the food. It was kind of stuck in a little hole, but if Princess Twilight hadn't made a magic bubble around it, it would have chewed its way out. Ew.
"I'm sorry about all the mess," she said.
"I'm only doing my job, your Highness."
Twilight looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't think of anything to say. "Well, happy Hearth's Warming," I called. "If you don't mind, I'm going to take this...somewhere else." Once done, I retired to my room to catch up on what sleep I had missed.