Wingless

by Secret_Shadows

Chapter One: Waking Up

The three small fillies waited... patiently... in the hallway outside of the hospital room, a small orange, purple maned filly particularly eager to enter the room when the door opened briefly as a white unicorn mare appeared out, quickly closing the door behind her.

“Well how is she!?” Scootaloo asked.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Did she like the scarf I tried to make her?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Can we see her yet!?” The three fillies asked, nearly shouting, in unison causing Rarity to flinch from the sudden sound piercing her eardrums.

“Girls, I don’t think tha-”

“C’mon let’s go see her!” Scootaloo interjected cutting off the mare before she could speak trying to get to the door before it opened and a purple aura surrounded the filly.

“Now girls.” Twilight said as she closed the door behind her as quickly as it opened. “I know you all want to see Rainbow Dash, but she needs some time to rest after… our visit. I’m sure all three of you can see her in a few days.”

The news that the three of them would not be able to see Rainbow Dash, or have a chance at getting nurse cutie marks, causes a unison sigh from them.

“Aww… but I really wanted to see her…” The purple maned filly said quietly, her head lowering in disappointment.

Twilight leaned down to Scootaloo and lifted the filly’s head with her hoof. “And you’ll get to see her soon, but she just needs some time to relax… and…” The alicorn mare paused and returned to her normal stance, releasing Scootaloo’s head. “...Get used to some things, but she’ll be up and around having fun with her favourite little sister again soon, alright?” She asked prompting a nod from Scootaloo. “Good, well why don’t we all go get some ice cream from sugarcube corner then head back to the library, we’re having a ‘get well Rainbow Dash’ slumber party and you three are all invited.”

And with that the five ponies started to head out of the hospital to their evening, leaving Rainbow Dash at the hospital to rest.

“I can do it this time Pinkie, it’s not dangerous at all.”

“I don’t know Dashie… it seems like it’s too hard… you could get hurt… you can always try ag-”

“When did you become a spoil sport Pinkie? Welp! Here goes!”

-

“Rainbow!? Darling?”

“Are ya okay Dash!?”

“Everypony stand back she needs room to breath, Spike send for the paramedic ponies!”

“I-is she going to be okay Twilight?”

“Spike! Now! Go!”

-

“Stable, I’m not sure how long we can keep her like this.”

“We only need to keep her stable until we get to the hospital, the doctors can take it from there, keep trying.”

“Wh-who… a-are you p-ponies… T-t-twilight?”

“She’s going into shock, nurse quickly.”

-

“She’s on life support but she’s taken several severe external as well as internal injuries, we need to get her to intensive care now!”

“Her heart is giving out!”

“I’m giving her as much magic as I can!”

“It’s not working!”

“Increase the magic!”

“We’re losing her!”

“Again!”

“Her heart is stopping, it’s not working, the injuries are too severe for heart stimulation magic!”

“Again!”

“Docto-”

“AGAIN!”

“It’s not working!”

“I’m not letting her go! Keep Trying!”

“She’s stopped breathing!”

*Huff Huff* “Keep Trying!” *Huff Huff*

-

“She was very unstable when she got here, She’s been in and out of consciousness the entire time, she’s stable now and on magic support, but it will take time for her body to regenerate even with the help of magic, in the mean time, she can feel it… all of it, the pain, she keeps reacting as if she is in severe pain, it’s just not ethical to leave her like this Princess.”

“Well what are you suggesting?”

“Well we have two options. We can either put her into a coma, it will save her from experiencing the pain, but it will be several months before she wakes up… if she does at all...or we can pull the plug now and spare her from any further pain… even if she wakes up… it’s unlikely she’ll be the… same...”

“...I… I’d like to… talk to her…”

“For now the magic should be keeping her pain tolerable but the nurse is having a hard time keeping this level of magic, you have a few minutes, but we need a decision soon.”

“Yes, of course… I… yes...”

“...”

“Rainbow… I’m sorry I… I should have tried harder to keep you from doing this… I know I… I didn’t even know you were going to do that crazy stunt but… I feel like it’s my fault… I showed you the book in the first place I… I’m sorry… if… If I never get the chance to tell you… my answer… yes... So please, Rainbow, hold on, hold on as long as you can, you can get through this, do it, please, for me, my Dashie… please… I don’t know what I’d do without you… I… just hold on…”

“Princess… we need a decision.”

“Hold on Rainbow… I know you can… Put her into a coma, if there is even a chance of her getting through it, I want to take it…”

“Very well, we’ll need you to clear the room then, Nurse, prep for the procedure.”

‘I’m sorry I hurt you Twilight...’

“It’s starting, she’s going under, the magic is taking over…”

I was asleep for six months and eleven days, Twilight told me she told the doctors to put me in a coma because I was in constant pain… and she was right, I remember… parts… sounds, very hazy and vague images, then… then there was nothing… just, darkness, not even really darkness more like a… a void but I… I couldn’t feel, or see, smell, taste, or even think;  Echoes maybe but nothing that I can clearly remember, and then I woke up to see Twilight over me, tears in her eyes, I had almost not come back when they revived me... Twi said she was with me most of the time I was out, every day she came in the morning and stayed until the night, and the room I was in showed it, there was a small table and chair that had many scrolls on it, she had been doing her work here. After a while Rarity showed up, they are the only two ponies I have let see me, I… I can’t let anypony see me this way… I… not like this… I want to just stay in this room, for the rest of my life… the doctors said… It’s possible… but very unlikely… that I will ever regain full control of my wings again… if I even do at all… I can’t even feel them now...I… can feel the feathers brushing up against my side but… only on my side, I have no feeling… in my wings… I… I don’t even know why I’m writing this stupid thing! Twilight told me to write what I felt but I just can’t! I just want everypony to leave me alone!

A sudden thud was heard as a small, journal like book was hurled at the wall. A cyan pony laying in a hospital bed, curled up in a blanket next to the lamp that was giving her light to write. The shadows from the lamp as well as a very dim shadow from the moon casting through the window into the dark room, quiet sobs emanating from the pony.

“I-I’m s-sorry Twilight… I… I should have never done it… I… I’ve ruined it… I was g-going to be th-there for you… but f-for six m-months… I w-w-wasn’t… I… I d-don’t h-have wings a-anymore… they are th-there but… I c-can’t. Useless… pathetic… worthless… things you call a flightless pegasus… things that you tell other pegasi aren’t true, until you have no use of your wings… then you realize that i-it’s t-true… I j-just wish I was w-with you r-right now…” Rainbow Dash mumbled out from her curled up position on the bed. Tears leaking out of her eyes leaving trails of cyan fur turned darker and wet in their wake.

There was a quiet noise from the corner of the room that caught Rainbow’s attention. “Y-you… you dropped your book… R-rainbow D-dash.” Said a small voice. “D-do you r-really m-mean that? Th-that a pegasi… wh-who c-can’t fly… i-is u-useless…?”

“I am…” Rainbow responded quietly, not even moving to look at the other grounded pegasi in the room.

“B-but… y-you always t-told me… y-you d-didn’t h-have to fly… t-to have a u-use… a p-place…”

“I was… wrong.”

“Y-y-y-you’re n-never wrong! R-rainbow D-dash!”

“Well I was…”

“B-but… y-you’re… y-you… y-you w-were s-s-suppose t-to… b-be m-my big s-sister… b-big s-sisters… a-are n-never wrong…”

“W-well… I… I f-failed… at b-being a s-sister then… I w-was wrong and.. a-and you’ll just have to accept that…”

“B-but… y-you… you’re t-too awesome… t-to be wrong…”

Rainbow turned over in her bed to look at the small orange pegasi who now had tears in her eyes, not even looking at Rainbow, she was looking down at the floor, ears planted against the sides of her head and her tail hung low. “Scootaloo…”

“A-am… am I-i w-worthless…?”

“N-no I d-didn’t m-”

“B-but you s-said…”

“Wh-what I s-said a-about you was t-true. Y-you aren’t w-worthless. You Are Not, worthless or useless… I… i-if you th-think th-that then I f-failed e-even more…” Rainbow Dash paused as she looked at Scootaloo. “C-come here.” She said as she patted a small spot on the bed next to her, the shadows in the room covering her tear stained eyes.

The small orange filly slowly stepped closer to the hospital bed and looked up at Rainbow, silently she climbed up onto the bed where the older mare had gestured to.

“I don’t think you’re worthless Scootaloo, I… I feel like I am… b-because… M-my wings… a-are what made me… m-me… I… I can’t be in the Wonderbolts anymore… O-or e-even work o-on the w-weather… Without my wings… I… I d-don’t know…” Dash quietly spoke as she slowly reached her forehooves out to hug Scootaloo tightly. “But uh…” She paused trying to think, even in her upset mind, trying to cheer up her little sister. “With me out of the way… uh… you can become th-the greatest most coolest flyer in Ponyville…”

“B-but… I c-can’t f-fly…” Scootaloo said as she slowly let herself melt into the embrace of Rainbow Dash.

“What happened… you were d-doing so good… before I uh… had my uh… accident…”

“W-well… the o-other crusaders can’t help me learn… a-and Twilight is too busy a-and Fluttershy kept being really overprotective… A-and Princess Luna t-tried to help me b-but… she’s not a very good teacher… she talks really loud… she says it’s some Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice but… I dunno…it seemed like yelling.”

Rainbow couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at the comment about Princess Luna. “W-well… she is a princess… a-and she is still adjusting… or was… when I uh… had my accident she… she probably expects it to be… all done right the first time… or something…But… n-now that I uh... a-am awake a-again… I c-can try t-to help you but… I uhm… I c-can’t fly… t-to help you a-anymore...” She said, slowly lowering her head, still hugging Scootaloo.

“Y-you’d s-still help me…? E-even if you c-can’t fly y-yourself?” The orange filly asked, looking up at her older role model.

“Of c-course Scootaloo… I...Y-you’re m-my little sister… I… I’d d-do anything for you… e-even if it means y-you are g-gonna become a b-better flyer th-than me… b-because n-now th-that I c-can’t fly… wh-who else is g-gonna k-keep Ponyville in awe… I c-certainly w-wouldn’t w-want it to be anypony else…” Dash said with a weak smile. “Hay… how did you g-get in here anyway? Sh-shouldn’t you be at the slumber party at Twi’s?”

“I… I didn’t g-get to see you… e-earlier today… a-and everypony w-was being boring… I missed you a-and… I may have kinda sorta snuck in…” Scootaloo said letting out a quiet yawn.

Rainbow looked up at the clock, noticing how late it was, matching Scootaloo’s yawn. “W-well… why don’t we g-go to bed… it’s late… and I d-don’t want you out alone at this time of night…”

“Ok-*yawn*-kay Rainbow.” Scootaloo yawned out as she started to let her eyes close, still being hugged by Rainbow Dash. “N-night. Love You.”

“Goodnight Scootaloo…” Rainbow moved over and gently blew out the lamp before pulling the covers up over herself and Scootaloo. “Love you too Scoots.” She said, her voice wavering ever so slightly, relieved that she could keep her composure in front of Scootaloo but still upset and conflicted internally. Slowly she drifted off, thinking of how at least she still had ponies that cared about her.