//------------------------------//
// "No." 
// Story: What in Equestria is This? 
// by nodamnbrakes 
//------------------------------//

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Twilight slammed her hoof down on the alarm clock. But it didn't stop beeping. She groaned, rolled over, and looked at the clock. The clock had Rainbow Dash's face on it, frozen into a tortured expression of absolute agony.

It was at this moment that Twilight realized it was not, in fact, a clock that she was looking at, but Dash, who had had most of her bones broken. Also, one half of her wall had been blown off. There were a couple of bipedal creatures wearing cloaks walking around, hacking away at shit with impossibly huge swords while demanding "the key to the land of Zim-Tan-Bagu, where the Ultimate Weapon resides". The sun had fallen out of the sky, Nightmare Moon was roaming free, Sombra had been reborn as a colt while his evil self searched for the missing part, Pinkie was running around trying to murder everypony with a lawn mower, a cloud of Absolute Darkness had started devouring the western border of Ponyville, and the griffons were about to invade from all sides using tanks.

And the only one who could stop them was--

"No," Twilight said, and pulled the covers over her head. "No, it's too early for a shitty fanfic."

Within moments, she was snoring.