//------------------------------//
// A Pressing Predicament  
// Story: The Detection of Affection Perfection 
// by MellowMabari 
//------------------------------//

     Rainbow Dash sighed. She rolled her neck for the fourth time in under a minute, no longer experiencing the previously satisfying pops and clicks it had made the first three times. The table before her was littered with empty cans, all bearing the heading, Iron Will's Super Turbo Energy Thirst Quencher: Think you’re ready to stop? All-stars never drop! and other detritus, mostly of the candy wrapper variety. She had spent the last five minutes or so lazily flicking the little multicoloured crumples back and forth along her desk, paper work and weather charts forgotten. Not many ponies would know it to look at her, but Rainbow actually happened to attend to the managerial waffle that came with her position as Ponyville's lead cloud wrangler. Ponies wouldn't know she attended to it because she had to do it in an office. Inside. On the ground, due to the fact that the only cloud building gracing Ponyville's skies was her own home. She didn't even have a window, which admittedly would have acted as yet another distraction. She didn't think she could engage in humdrum office junk if the endless blue sky was beckoning to her through a single pane of transparent glass. 

"Guh, so if Cloud Chaser works Tuesday...and if Windy Daze takes Blossom's shift next Wednesday..." Rainbow prodded a chart with her official Wonderbolt's logo pen, (writing with quills was odd for most pegasi, given that they normally only got a mouthful of feathers while preening or during other more...intimate pursuits) attempting to figure out if her jumble of squiggles made any sense. It probably didn't. She was fairly certain that she had doodled her name several times in the middle of the chart, and was that...? Yep. There was her Cutie Mark, right over Thunderlane's schedule for the following week. Which hadn't worked out anyway, not unless she expected him to clone himself. There was an annoying thought. She took enough lip from him as it was. 

Ugh, why do they make me plan these things out for, like, a month in advance? I'll just have to change everything around again, anyway, when Flitter calls in sick or Derpy can't come in because she forgot to book a foalsitter. Rainbow was on the verge of crumpling up the failed schedule and tossing it through the hoop situated above her trash can when she noticed another drawing, most likely completed sometime between her third and fourth Power Quencher. An Apple? I musta been hungry. She grinned and patted her slightly distended stomach. Good thing I keep a healthy supply of sweets around. Indeed, several packages of the colourful treats were placed strategically around the small room, in case of candy emergencies. Pinkie had put her on to it, and so far Rainbow hadn't found any reason to regret taking the party pony's advice. Rainbow's eyes drifted back to the drawing, where they paused once more; it depicted not a single apple, but a trio. Huh, I guess I was really hungry. Unless... 

Rainbow didn't think she spent an inordinate amount of time ogling most of her friends' flanks, but she knew enough to realize that three apples set in a miniature pyramid formation was a shoe-in for Applejack's Cutie Mark. She also knew why she had drawn it, in great detail, right next to her own. The rest of her friends' Cutie Marks were strangely absent. And here I thought an afternoon of paperwork would take my mind off of my little  'problem.'   

For Rainbow did have a problem. One of the utmost severity, despite how silly some would see it. In fact, it derived its severity from its inherent silliness. The long and short of it was this: Rainbow liked hugs. Different ponies gave different hugs, and so it stood to reason that some of those huggers would be better than others. Pinkie was good at crushing bones and rupturing vital organs, for instance, while Fluttershy was the best at giving hugs without the embracee even being aware it was happening, given how feather-light her touch was. Twilight's were caring and warm, but not too intimate – appropriate, one could say – while Rarity's were formal and all about the execution. One always had to look one's best after all, and enfolding someone in an embrace was no excuse for not putting your best face forward. 

Yes, Rainbow knew a surprising amount about most of her friends' specific hugging techniques, and she valued each and every one of them. But if there was one thing Rainbow knew even more about than hugging, it was competition, and one pony stood head and shoulders above the rest with her superior snuggling powers. A pony who happened to have three apples for a Cutie Mark. 


~   ~   ~


It had all begun on a semi-cloudy day. A light breeze had been playing over the leaves of the apple trees at Sweet Apple Acres, and Rainbow Dash had just been putting the finishing touches on a particularly puffy, particularly ominous looking raincloud. Rainclouds were rather simple, and nowhere near as exciting as thunderheads to create, but that didn't mean that she couldn't at least make them look cool. 

"Y’almost done, Rainbow?" called a familiar twangy voice from its place on the ground. 

Rainbow peered around her handiwork to spot her employer for the afternoon glancing up at her. "Yep – just give me a sec!" Rainbow gave the cloud an experimental poke, and was rewarded with a small gush of rainwater. She nodded happily to herself before flapping down to the ground and saluting. "All systems are go, Cap'n."

Applejack rolled her eyes but met her friend's salute with a serious nod of her own. "Good work, General Dash. Now, I want the fields over in quadrant A and sector B completely drenched, and no lollygaggin', you hear me?"

"Aye, aye boss lady!" The pegasus zipped into the air, intent on carrying out her orders...only to return a second later. "Uh...by quadrant A and sector B you meant that patch over there, right?"

Applejack chuckled, dropping the impromptu act. "Course, Sugarcube. You don't think that's actually how we divvy up the farm, do ya? We ain't the royal Canterlot guard or nothin'"

"Hey, I don't know how you apple nerds do stuff. You named a tree Bloomberg, for Twilight's sake."

"'Twilight's sake'? Is this some sort of new slang I'm not in the know about?"

"Well, she doesn't like me using Celestia or Luna's names, right? But if Twi – our best friend – is a pouffy pony princess now, I can take her name in vain all I want!"

"Uh, I don't think – " but Dash was gone before Applejack could elaborate on how "Twilight's sake" was not a proper replacement for "Luna's Moony Backside" or "Celestia's Sunny Snicker-doodle." 

In fact, considering Rainbow's track record, Twilight's new epithet was fairly tame. She'd let the pegasus go ahead and say it, and just had to hope it wouldn't get any more...creative.  

"Aw, you actually waited out here for me? That's sweet." The air from Rainbow's wings buffeted the nearby leaves as she reappeared above Applejack's head, smirking and completely cloudless. "I suppose seeing me in action is pretty impressive, so I can't blame you."

"Har har," mumbled Applejack, touching the brim of her hat and backing up a pace to hide the fact that she'd started a bit as Rainbow swooped in unannounced. "I just couldn't leave you with my trees unattended. We both know what happened the last time."

Rainbow frowned. "Twilight's Purple Flank, you snuggle – er – rest on an apple tree one time and no one lets you live it down. At least I don't mutter about them in my sleep, like some ponies."

Applejack blushed scarlet. "I was just – er – thinkin' 'bout work is all. If you hadn't noticed, apples are kinda my thing."

"Oh, I noticed." Dash grinned impishly, landing in front of the other pony. "And it sounded to me like you were thinking more about play than work. Just how hard is Bloomberg, anyway?"

"That's enough outta you!" Applejack swatted Dash upside the head, now so red that, had she been male, the resemblance between her and her brother would have been uncanny. 

Dash snickered. "Hey, you know it's all in good fun. Anyway, the clouds are all placed in sector whatever, so I should get back to practicing. I want to get some good flying time in before I have to go commit se-what-sit with my Wonderbolts pen in the office."

Applejack, accepting her reprieve from the teasing – which was completely unfounded – finally decided to take a look at Dash's handiwork. She was slightly surprised to see that both sections of the orchard that had needed a drink were presently receiving one. The surprise at such a well done job ended and a small frown popped up when she noticed that one of the rainclouds was positioned over a separate, smaller stretch of field. A stretch that she hadn't told Rainbow needed rain. 

Dash, seemingly noticing the object of her friend's focus – and the decidedly downward twitch of her mouth that accompanied it – jumped in with a hasty, "When I was flying over some of the leaves looked a bit crispy, so I flew down and checked the soil. Dry as a bone. It was only two trees, so I rigged up one of the smaller clouds for a long-term drizzle. It should peter out about six tonight, but if they're still thirsty you can always give me a call tomorrow!"

Rainbow exhaled all of this in one heroic breath, hoping that Applejack would withhold any more disapproving glares (or possibly hooves) until after she had explained herself. Messing with an Apple's apples was the fastest way to lose a limb, after all – and Dash, unlike an apple tree, couldn't just grow a new one. 

Luckily for the stressed pegasus, her friend was now eyeing her with renewed respect and not a little gratitude. 

"Aw, shucks Rainbow, that's mighty kind of ya. Now I think on it, those're the trees I gave Apple Bloom to water – you know, ease her into the family trade and all that. Seems with all her 'crusadin'' she forgot about them. Still, I shoulda checked on 'em more often myself...I owe you one."

"Aw, it was nothing," replied Rainbow, waving an airy hoof in a rare show of modesty. "It's just you and Mac running this whole place, or at least the outside parts of it. If I can lend a hoof with some aerial reconnaissance every now and again, well, why not, right?"

"Aerial what-now?" Applejack let out a gasp of mock terror, "Dash – I think it's happening! Hanging around Twilight has turned you into...into an..." she removed her hat and started fanning herself with it, putting on an accent that sounded suspiciously like Rarity's patented stage-whisper. "Egghead!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, though she was badly suppressing a grin. "Yeah, yeah, so I read books now. I never woulda thought that an autobiography would be cool, but Commander Hurricane was a pretty crazy lady. It actually makes me want to write my own, someday."

Eye rolling was apparently contagious, because Applejack continued where Dash left off. "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

"You talk about Twilight rubbing off on me. What about you, Miss Queen of Sarcasm? Since when were you this snarky?"

"Oh, don't try and blame Twilight alone for that one," said Applejack, "You've been buzzing around here often enough lately that I've had plenty o' practice with verbal sparrin'."

"I do not 'buzz'" replied Rainbow with a dignified sniff, "I dash and soar and glide – majestically."
They met each other's gazes. It took all of three seconds for two sets of eyes to crinkle at the corners and a shared laugh to burst forth from identically grinning muzzles. 

The hysterics were so involved, in fact, that Rainbow ended up half draped over Applejack as she struggled to regain her composure. "Ah man, I'm glad I stopped by today, AJ. I – I kinda missed this."

Applejack, sensing that the time for joking was over, looked back at her friend, who was having trouble meeting her eyes. "Me, too, Sugarcube. We hung out just last week, though, remember?"

"Yeah, I know." Rainbow Dash sighed, eyes still glued to the forelegs hanging over her friend's back. "It just feels like longer, sometimes."

Applejack watched Rainbow study her hooves for a few seconds before being struck by an idea. "Hey, c'mere." she yanked her friend around and in front of her, and before she could protest further than a few frantic wingbeats, enveloped her in a warm, and somewhat forceful, hug. "Thanks for the help today. I know you get busy at the Academy and with your regular weather shift and all that, but it really does mean a lot."

Rainbow slowly wrapped her forelegs back around her friend, this time encircling her neck. Even if the position wasn't very physically different from the one she had just been engaged in, it felt more intimate, somehow. Friends hugged. Pinkie Pie was always hugging ponies – some of them she didn't even know. Not many ponies would know it, but Rainbow Dash liked hugs. Not all the time or anything, but there was just something special about someone who cared about you giving you a good old rib cracking squeeze. Or, you know, maybe a more delicate snuggle every now and again. Cool ponies needed hugs too, she figured. Hugs were just another way to show you that you were cool, in the long run. 

What Applejack did was combine the two techniques, wrapping her in an embrace that could hardly be called delicate, but that didn't come across as a display of excessive strength, either. They weren’t fighting for control like they did when they were engaged in some all-or-nothing competition, or even goofing around like they usually did. Right now, they were friends showing one another mutual support, even if it was a bit more concentrated on Applejack’s side. Support could be cool. Warm, snuggly, stand-there-and listen-to-eachother’s-breathing support could also be cool. Maybe. It's not like there was a rule-book saying it wasn’t, anyway. 

After an indeterminate amount of time (but it totally could have lasted longer) Applejack disengaged herself from Rainbow, grinning softly at her. “There. Feel better?”

Rainbow realized she was still inhaling the now dwindling scent of Applejack’s mane and hastily opened her eyes. “Uh, yeah! Loads better, actually. You know, as better as doing anything standing still could make me feel. Aheh.” She ran a hoof over the back of her neck awkwardly to dispel the phantom feeling of Applejack’s hooves. 

Applejack took it in stride, tipping her hat towards her, grin still in place. “Well, iffin’ you ever need another, you know where to find me. I don’t even charge or nothin’.” She chuckled at her own joke. 

Rainbow forced out a chuckle of her own, mind still caught somewhere in the haze of apple shampoo (was it shampoo, or actual apple?) and fluffy orange coat. “Uh, yeah. Will do. Well, I better jet. Got places to do and stuff to see, ya know? Dash, over and out!”

And with that she was, zipping into the air so fast on dishevelled wings that she probably set some sort of record (of the academy variety). “Over and out? Really, Dash?” She smacked herself in the face with a hoof and put on a burst of speed, hoping that by putting distance between her and the awkward encounter she could somehow outstrip her own mocking internal thoughts. Turns out being locked in her own head was not a problem her wings could solve. “Gah! Who even says that?”

Her thoughts occupied her until frantic wings carried her over Ponyville proper, where the weather offices were located. Well, office. As much as she would prefer to fly right up to her cloud home and barricade herself inside its fluffy walls (which worked quite nicely to muffle loud rants and absorb stress in the form of frustrated kicks) she knew she had work stuff to attend to. She had pushed it off to the last possible day already, and if she wanted to avoid another stern lecture from Mayor Mare on tardiness (one Twilight would later reiterate, including references to demotion and impromptu moon vacations, for variety’s sake) she had to submit the month’s schedule before the end of the day. That was the trouble with a town run by earth ponies and unicorns – they didn’t know when to just wing it. Although, judging by her hasty departure from Applejack’s farm, Rainbow figured she might be too good at winging it. Ha, yeah right. No such thing. 

Feeling slightly better about herself – the hug had felt nice, after all – Rainbow swooped down to the nondescript blue building adjacent to the mayor’s office, which someone had optimistically decorated with a smiling sun and a few equally cheery clouds. Rainbow set her expression as close as she could to the direct opposite, took a deep breath, and hoofed the door open. The way it shut behind her rang with a rather depressing tone of finality. 


~   ~   ~


Which brought her back to the present. Rainbow Dash was simultaneously grateful for and annoyed with her extremely vivid imagination, as it felt like she had just relived the memory in question. What was it about Applejack’s hugs that made her feel so conflicted? Could it be that she was so good at them? Did Rainbow feel threatened by her friend’s cuddling prowess? She experimentally slipped her own hooves around her midsection in an effort to compare. It didn’t feel the same. 

And she had the distinct feeling that she looked really, really stupid. 

Quickly unravelling her hooves from their straightjacket-like hold around her ribs, she eyed the unfinished schedule crumpled before her. She was no closer to finishing it than she had been when she entered the dreaded building all those hours ago, and on top of that she still had her hugging problem to deal with. She had hugged Applejack loads of times before. Heck, they were draped across each other in almost every group picture of their friends, so it's not like it was a new occurrence. And who was the one pony Rainbow always sought out first after some sort of new disaster ripped through Ponyville? Applejack. She practically pounced the poor mare after being dis-Discordified. So why was now different? Was it because it was a private hug this time? None of their other friends had been in the orchard with them – it was a hug just for her, not the result of some group affection-fest or post world-saving relief. 

Rainbow groaned and let her head thump down onto the wooden table, smushing the paper that would never ascend to the ranks of a fully functioning schedule. It was so obvious, and yet Rainbow wished her brain could go on not making the connection for just a bit longer. 

Rainbow Dash didn’t just have the hots for Applejack – she had come to terms with that revelation ages ago. Ain’t no way a pony could have a flank that fine and not fall under her radar – she had an actual crush on her. With feelings.  Huggy, squishy, apple-scented feelings. And feelings were complicated. They made ponies do all manner of crazy, uncool things. Like think. And say dumb things that made her sound like some stuffy Canterlot guard. 

Well, crap. She thought. Crap on an industrial-sized cracker. 

She now had three options, each one equally unpleasant in its own way. She could go and tell Applejack exactly how she felt about her, which, now that she thought about it, Dash wasn’t entirely clear on. She liked hugging her, and spending time with her, and smelling her mane…all of those were normal, friendly things to do, weren’t they? Well, maybe except for that last one, but could she really help it if her friend used such delicious smelling shampoo? And if she just so happened to peruse – it was a smart word, one Twilight would have been proud of – Applejack’s flank every now and again, well, it wasn’t her fault. The thing had apples on it! Apples were food! Ponies ate food! It was completely logical that she might stare sometimes, especially if she was hungry. It was a natural impulse, and Dash was all about following her impulses. She wouldn’t be the fastest pony in Equestria if she didn’t. 

So, Ok, maybe she liked Applejack more than normal. Knowing this, she could either go tell her friend that she possibly wanted to pounce on her in a completely non-platonic way, or she could sit on this new information and never let anyone know, ever. Neither of these sounded all that pleasant, considering that premature pouncing might lead to a buck to the face, and not doing anything was stupid. There might be a day when “nothing” became a thing that Rainbow Dash did, but it wasn’t this day. She was a mare of action, a mare of cunning, a mare of speed! Nothing was, like, the opposite of all of those things, and therefore out of the question. 

Which left the third option.

It was convoluted and likely a waste of time, but if it meant avoiding choices one and two, Dash was all for giving it a go. 

To figure out exactly how she felt, she would need more information. Evidence, as Twilight might call it. Cold, hard facts, that could only be gained by extensive research into warm, fluffy cuddling – cuddling completely in the name of science and discovery, of course. 

First she would have to stealthily snuggle each of her other friends, using Applejack as the primary test subject to base her findings on. Then, all she had to do was compare her own reactions to each hug, and then to what had occurred after Applejack’s, and voila! Not only would she have gained new techniques to employ in her own embracing arsenal – she would know if she actually, truly liked Applejack enough to spill the beans, or if her reaction earlier was just some sort of fluke, a memory recalled incorrectly through the haze of too many Power Quenchers or something. Five in one day may have been a bit excessive. Her ears were ringing a bit too loudly to be completely sure, though, so she instead decided to focus on the task at hoof.   

Rainbow Dash swept the day’s efforts (including candy wrappers, Quencher cans and her sorry excuse for a schedule) off of her desk and into the already precariously heaped trash bin. She would have to empty that soon-ish. But not today. There was still some good daylight left, and she planned to use it to put her epic plan into motion. 

The door banged shut unceremoniously behind her as she sped off into town. Paperwork would have to wait – she had science to do.