Its been a week and a half since I opened my new business. My business is starting to be a success; slowly, but surely. Hey, does that phrase come from anywhere? Well, anyways even ponies from Canterlot and Cloudsdale ask for pizza. Bon Bon, Lyra Heartstrings, and Ditzy Doo have been doing an excellent job in the business. Derpy told me she needed a part-time job to help pay for her finances, because the mail job doesn’t pay enough, so I gave her part-time. Anyways, back to the story.
One morning, at the Apple house, Apple Bloom woke up and walked down for breakfast. Granny Smith cooked some eggs for the family.
"Mornin' Apple Bloom!" AppleJack said to her little sister.
"Mornin' Family! Sleep well?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Eeeyup.” Big Mac said.
"Me too, I had a dream I was lassoin' dem bulls at the rodeo." AppleJack said. "What did you dream about, sug?"
"What do you think? Getting my cutie mark!" Apple Bloom said as she hopped in place.
“Right, how can ah forget? Was it the one when you were a nurse for a retirement home?” AppleJack asked.
A cutaway shows Apple Bloom sitting on a sofa with an old pony from the Ponyville Retirement Village, and reads a story to him. “…And that's when the yellow birdie thought to himself, ‘Hmm. My favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore.’ So she sang her song, big and strong, and they all lived in that great, big tree happily ever after. The... end.”
“Very interesting story, sweetie.” The old pony said. “But can you repeat the beginning? Oh, and can you also repeat the middle….. and end?” The cutaway ends.
“Nope, that wasn’t the dream.” Apple Bloom shook her head to her sister.
“Was it the one when you were a merchant at Blockblister?” AppleJack asked.
Another cutaway shows Apple Bloom sitting behind a desk at a Blockblister along with her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and an angry customer walks in and starts complaining. “Excuse me?”
“Hello! Welcome to our video store!” Apple Bloom said in an Italian accent.
“How might we be helping you?” Sweetie Belle asked in the same accent.
“Yeah, last time I was here I ordered Man of Steel, but this…. This isn’t what I expected.” The customer complained, placing the DVD of the movie on the desk.
“No, no, no. You no order Man of Steel; you order Man of Teal!” Scootaloo said.
“Man of what?” the customer asked.
“Man of Teal!” Scootaloo said.
“Teal? That doesn’t sound right.” The customer said.
“This movie better!” Scootaloo said.
“MUCH BETTER!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both yelled.
“Yeah, I strongly doubt that.” The customer said.
“Here, let us put in the movie and see for ourselves!” Sweetie Belle said as she placed the movie in the DVD player. On the TV, it showed Scootaloo in a teal Superman costume, and Sweetie Belle as Bleenie. They both looked at the camera and just talked while looking at it.
“Look at me! I am Superman! Look at my teal costume!” Scootaloo said
“Wow! Your teal costume looks so cool! Oh no! Look out!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Grr! I am General Zod, and I hate Teal!” Apple Bloom said in a General Zod costume.
“I'll save you!” Scootaloo yelled as she pretended to snap Apple Bloom’s neck.
“Ow! My neck!” Apple Bloom said.
“Apple Bloom, fall down.” Scootaloo whispered.
“Oh, right! OWW!” Apple Bloom yelled as she fell down.
“My hero!” Sweetie Belle said to Scootaloo.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all applauded and Scootaloo said, “This movie good, or what?”
The customer dropped his jaw and yelled, “A good movie? You call that a good movie?!”
“How much will you be payin’ us?” Apple Bloom asked.
”Pay you? PAY YOU?! Oh I’ll pay you alright!” the customer said angrily as he walked out of the store.
“He said he gonna pay us, and he walk out.” Sweetie Belle said.
“He must be goin’ to get his check book.” Apple Bloom assumed.
”Let’s dance.” Scootaloo said as German polka music played in the background, and the CMCs started to dance. The cutaway ends.
"Well then, how did ya get your cutie mark in your dream?" AppleJack asked.
Apple Bloom paused and thinked for a second. "Ah don't really remember all that much. But in the dream, I saw a pony..... a red pony. I don't remember everythin'." Apple Bloom said confusingly.
"A red pony, huh? Was it Big Mac?" AppleJack asked.
"Nnnope!" Big Mac said.
"No, it's a unicorn." Apple Bloom said.
"Oh... hmm, let's see..... well, there’s only two red unicorns ah know, there’s that red unicorn with the purple mane durin’ Winter Wrap Up, and there’s the new pony, Flare Gun.” AppleJack said.
Apple Bloom smiled and put her front hooves on the table. "Yeah, it was him! Maybe he has somethin' to do with me getting mah cutie mark!"
"Maybe, sugarcube. Maybe. Why don't ya go and see him later?" AppleJack asked.
Apple Bloom jumped out of her chair and started running to the door. "Yeah! I'll go get Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo...."
AppleJack then interrupted her. "Now hold yer bridges there, Apple Bloom! School first!" she said giving her a mischievous face.
"Aww!" Apple Bloom whined.
“Now doncha worry ‘bout a thing. Just a word of advise.” AppleJack leaned close to her sister. “Be careful ‘round, Flare, alright? He maybe a wee bit irritatin’, but he’s a nice pony.”
“Ah don’t really mind. It’s just Scootaloo ah have to keep an eye on. She gets annoyed easily. Remember when we watched Star Wars: The Phantom Menace?” Apple Bloom asked.
A cutaway shows the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the movie theater, watching Star Wars 1. “Yousa follow me no, oki-day?” Jar Jar Binks asked.
“Done!” Scootaloo said as she stood up quickly with her front hooves in the air, and she walked out of the theater. The cutaway ends.
A few hours later, at the school house, the bell rung and the fillies and colts started running out of the school. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo walked out after everypony else.
"You know what girls?" Apple Bloom asked.
"What? You have an idea about us getting our cutie marks?" Sweetie Belle asked.
“Isn’t that question obvious?” Scootaloo asked.
"Yeeup! Ah had a dream last night about getting mah cutie mark." Apple Bloom said.
"Oh really? What was your cutie mark?" Scootaloo asked.
"Ah don't remember really, but ah saw a pony in mah dream." Apple Bloom said.
"Who was that pony?" Sweetie Belle asked.
“I hope it wasn’t Jar Jar Binks.” Scootaloo said.
"You know that new pony, Flare?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Who’s that?” Scootaloo asked.
“He’s the newest pony in town. He comes from Mareami, and decided to move here to make some new friends, and get rid of all the stress from his hometown.” Apple Bloom said.
"He's also the manager of the pizza parlor near the park." Sweetie Belle said. "I have to say, the food he makes over there: deeeelicious!"
"So ah was thinkin'; if Flare was in mah dream after ah got mah cutie mark, then that could mean he was responsible for gettin' it!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.
"Maybe we can all get our cutie marks with Flare's help too.” Sweetie Belle thought. "So, are we all going to see Flare?"
"Sure, why not? I’m pretty sure he’d give better cutie mark advice than Allan Sherman.” Scootaloo said.
Allan Sherman pops out of nowhere and starts singing, “Cutie Mark Crusaders and I got a tip for you, just do what I say if you get any clue, how about you make the dancing, Scootaloo; you sing the song, Sweetie Belle; and you make the props, Apple Bloom.”
“But Mr. Allan Sherman I am too shy to sing, I’d rather decorate like my sister Rarity…” Sweetie Belle sang.
“I can’t dance, I’d rather ROCK IT LOUD!” Scootaloo sang.
“I can do Kung Fu, that could help a lot.” Apple Bloom sang.
“But that was good advice, good advice, good advice costs nothing and it’s worth the price.” Allan Sherman sang. “I dunno how Equestria can live another day without my gooood aaaaaadvice!”
Anyways, over at my shop, business had been well so far; although, maybe it’s a little too well; the shop is getting crowded! Anyways, I was giving Derpy an order to deliver to somepony in town.
"Sup, my crazy-eyed sista? Listen, we have two hay and shroom pizzas need to get delivered to Berry Punch, capiche?" I asked Derpy.
"You can count on me, Mr. Boss!" Derpy cheered as she skipped towards the door with the pizzas, but then she banged into the wall. The Cutie Mark Crusaders walk inside the shop and to the bar area, where I am now.
"Howdy, Flare!" Apple Bloom greeted me.
“Hey, hey, hey! No fillies allowed in the bar area!” I said.
“Flare, ya don’t remember me? Ah’m Applejack’s sister Apple Bloom.” Apple Bloom said.
“Oh yeah, the flowered apple! LAWL!” I teased.
“And this here are mah friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” Apple Bloom introduced her friends.
“What’s up Sweet Ding-Ding, and loo-loo Scoota-la-loo?” I asked
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Gun!” Sweetie Belle said, shaking my hoof.
“Please, Mr. Gun is my father, and my uncle, and my grandpa, and my sister.” I said. “Everypony calls me Flare.”
“So Flare, we have a slight problem, and we want you to help us.” Scootaloo said.
“Sure, but can I ask you girls a question?” I asked.
“Sure.” Apple Bloom said.
“Ok, can I ask you another one?” I asked.
“Umm…. Alright.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Good. Can I ask you two more questions now?” I asked.
“What were the other questions?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“He was making a joke about the questions he asked that was if he wanted to ask us a question.” Scootaloo said.
“Wow, you really blown my mind there, Scoota-ah-loo.” I said.
“It’s Scootaloo.” Scootaloo corrected me.
"Well, ah had a dream last night!” Apple Bloom said.
“So did Martian Luther King, but look where he ended up.” I said.
"Well, this particular dream…. you were in it!" Apple Bloom said.
"Oh really? Happy face! That is so interesting! Flare's happy face that you thought about him in your sleep! Winky face." I said happily as I winked.
Apple Bloom giggled and said, "Anyway, the dream was about me getting mah cutie mark. So that gave me a clue: maybe you're responsible for me getting it!"
"Yeah, and possibly Scootaloo and I too." Sweetie Belle thought.
"Oh hey, you rhymed! Scootaloo, and I too. Maybe your cutie mark will be something to do with making poetry!" I teased.
"So can you help us?" Scootaloo asked.
"I-D-K. CAN I help you? Of course I can! I help all my friends in need! LAWL Sweetie Belle you're so silly! Silly Billy! Praise the wizards!" I shouted.
"So what can we do to get our cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked.
"How about answering this question first. What came first, the dragon or the egg?" I asked.
The crusaders got confused and started to think. "Uhhh.... the egg?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Then who created the egg?" I asked.
"Then it's the dragon!" Scootaloo said.
"Then where did the dragon come from?" I teased and chuckled.
"What's the answer then?" Scootaloo asked.
"Exactly! There is no real answer! Like the question I keep asking, why do they name Call of Duty: Modern Warfare with a four in it?" I asked.
"Ah never played Call of Duty, but ah suppose that’s true.” Apple Bloom said.
“I heard that series sucks.” Scootaloo said. “Then again, who am I to judge?”
"So if you silly fillies want to earn your flank tattoos, then maybe you can do some work around here for me! You three can earn them by working for me.” I suggested.
"Sounds good! Maybe that can also give us Community Service hours. We need those if we're going to collage!" Apple Bloom said.
"Or flight collage!" Scoots added.
"Oh, and you think you're going to be over there anyway, figuring that you can't fly?" Sweetie Belle teased her, then her and Apple Bloom laughed. Scootaloo gave them both an ugly look.
“You can’t fly?” I asked Scoots.
“Unfortunately.” Scoots said upsettingly.
“Hey, don’t feel bad. I can’t fly either.” I said as I placed my hoof on her shoulder to comfort her.
“You’re not even a Pegasus though.” Scoots corrected me
.
“So? I still can’t fly.” I said. "Anyways, time to get on the edge of glory and start getting your flank tattoos!” I then gave Sweetie Belle a mop and a bucket. "Here Sweetie, your sister loves to clean stuff, maybe you can help by mopping the floors."
"Seriously, Flare? Mopping the floors? I thought we were going to be cooking pizza with you!?" Sweetie Belle whined.
"You three are not yet ready for the kitchen; time to start off small. Maybe your what-you-call-it mark will be cleaning floors! That'd be awesome, huh? Lion face." I suggested.
Sweetie Belle got upset and mumbled to herself as she started mopping the floor. I looked over at Apple Bloom and said, "Now for your awesome job…” I started.
"Are you sure it's going to be awesome?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Well it's waaaay better than cleaning that teak-wood floor!" I said.
"What do you want me to do boss?" Apple Bloom asked with a smile and saluted at me.
I took out some bathroom cleaning supplies and gave them to her. "The lavatories are nasty right now. That kid Snails ate a bread stick off the floor and got sick, so..... I don't want to mention it. Get on it, girl! I have faith in you! Smiley face." I said with a smile. Apple Bloom wasn't happy though, so she walked into the bathroom with the cleaning supplies.
"Time for your job, little Scootie!" I said to her.
"I better not be cleaning anything!" Scootaloo said angrily.
"Oh no! You won't be cleaning a thing! I got the perfect job for you; and trust me, it's going to be waaay more better than Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle's jobs." I said.
”More better?” Scoots asked.
“Yes, more better.” I said again because I didn't really do well in English class.
"Oh really?" Scoots asked.
"Really, really!" I said.
"WOW! I can't wait to do it!" Scootaloo said as she started hopping excitedly. “So what’s my awesome job going to be?” Just then, a little while after, she was outside wearing a pizza costume, and holding up a sign saying; "Buy 1 get 1 free sale at Flare's Pizza Shop!" Scootaloo didn't like it; she had that annoyed look on her face. Diamond Tiara and her friend Silver Spoon, who are two ponies from the crusader's school came up to Scootaloo and started harrassing her like always, even though I never witnessed it.
"Well, well, well! If it isn't Scootaloo!" Diamond Tiara teased.
"More like stupidloo!" Silver Spoon teased, and they both laughed.
"Wow, you sure look delicious! Does it come with extra loser?" Diamond Tiara teased, and they both laughed again. Scootaloo started to get very angry.
"Hey, at least I have a job! I'm going to get volunteering hours and you won't!" Scootaloo got back at them.
"Who needs volunteering? The collage I'm going to doesn't need it. It's perfect for rich fillies, like myself." Diamond said.
"C'mon Diamond, cut her some slice!" Silver Spoon teased, then they both laughed again. Scootaloo started to really get mad. “Ok, that’s it, I had enough of you!” Scoots got so mad that she started tackling Diamond Tiara. The other crusaders and I saw what was going on from inside, so we went outside to help.
"Stop it! Stop it right now! Holy Wizard of Hope, what's going on here?" I asked as I broke up the fight.
Diamond Tiara stood up with sad looking eyes, and she started to tear up and she said; "Well.....” she sniffled. “.... I was going inside your shop for a nice healthy pizza, and then your employee here started beating up a fellow customer for no reason!" Diamond Tiara whined, and then she started to fake cry, and Silver Spoon started hugging her.
"NO!" Scootaloo yelled. "She's making that all up! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon here started to tease me, and I couldn't help it! They were teasing me and this costume!"
"Surprise face!" I gasped. I looked at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon with an upsetting look on my face. "This costume is not stupid! You tease this costume, you tease me, and Rarity! She's the one who made it!"
"No, the costume's fine, sir! It's just..... uhhh...." Silver Spoon said, but she didn't know what to say.
"Crystal Hat? Golden Fork? Please apologize." I asked.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon felt guilty and apologized to Scootaloo. "Sorry, Scootaloo." they said.
"What? Oh, I didn't mean apologize to Scootaloo, I-D-C what you girls do in your free time, I wanted you to apologize to the costume." I demanded.
Diamond and Silver looked at each other confusingly. Then they said, "Uhh, sorry costume?"
I patted Silver Spoon on the head. "There, there! Now that wasn't so hard right?” I leaned my head towards Scootaloo’s costume and placed my ear on it. “What's that costume? He says he accepts your apology." I said to the girls. Silver and Diamond looked at each other again confusingly. "Now that we're all friends now, how about some pizza? Buy one get one free sale is going on." I said excitedly.
"Of course, why not?" Diamond Tiara said as she and Silver Spoon walked awkwardly into the shop.
"Thanks for standing up for me." Scoots said. "You really confused them."
"I did? Oh... I wasn't really trying to. Clothing has feelings too, you know." I said.
"Umm, I don't think so." Scoots said.
"Rarity said so, I was only repeating what she said, and I somewhat agree with her. Why don't inaminate objects get respect?" I asked. It's really easy to confuse kids, but that's enough confusing for now. After a few hours went by, it was closing time. As I locked the door, the crusaders came up me and started complaining.
"We did all you said, Flare, and we still don't have our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom complained.
"Patience young ones!" I said. "No patience leads to the dark side, and you'll never get your cutie marks if you complain."
"Ooookay, so what do we do now?" Scootaloo asked.
"So the Pizza shop isn't your destiny, but there's lots of cool junk all around Ponyville. How about you follow me and I'll show you how the Flarester likes to roll!" I said as I laughed, and I started bouncing around town and started singing, and doing random stuff that matches what I sang. It goes like this:
"So if you want your flank tattoos, I will be your guide
There are so many things in the world if you gave it a try
Like cutting in front of a line, or give an old pony a drink
Or you can challenge your friends to staring contest, if you promise not to blink!” I sang as I wore a weeping angel costume.
Apple Bloom sang next:
"But Flare, what can we do, we're just three average fillies....
We get teased for our blank flanks....."
I sang next:
".... say cheese!" I flashed a camera and took a picture of her while she wasn't noticing.
"Now if you want your flank tattoos, you can try that
Writing a book about World Party II, or even the Cat in the Hat.
But don't get copyright infringement, because then you'll totally get sued
You can try beating up a blender who knows great kung fu!"
Scootaloo sang next:
"Please Flare, make some sense, I don't get what you're saying
We need your help right now, but we have no money for paying."
"Oh that sucks, I won't help you then." I said.
"WHAT!?" the CMCs cried out.
"I'm only messing with ya, oh my Luna!" I teased I continued singing:
"So if you want your flank tattoo, you will certainly shine.
Instead you're not anypony's son.... get it? Sun?" The CMCs all glared at me. "Eh, everypony's a critic. So, what are you girls good at?"
Sweetie Belle sang:
"I am good at singing, decorating, and sparks
Also good at writing, drawing, and even....." Then everypony heared somepony pass gas. "That wasn't me." Sweetie said nervously.
The four of them started singing at the same time:
"So if we want our flank tattoos, we have to do our best
Like falling into the SPARTA pit, and taking the SAT test
As long as we believe, nothing will stop us.
And we got lots of help, from a toy buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!" The song then ends at a cut and shave style ending.
"Wait, we do?" Scoots asked.
I took the three fillies over to the Bungee Jumping place over at the other side of town, and I gave them a suggestion on what they should do; “Kay kay, girls. One way of getting your cutie buh-tooties is trying to do something you love. You girls like bungee jumping?”
“Heck yeah I do!” Scoots yelled.
“I dunno, it looks scary.” Sweetie Belle said frightened.
“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. You like jumping on trampolines, don’t you?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yeah, but not with a wire attached to a belt around my waist.” Sweetie Belle said.
“C’mon, this will be fun! It’s like jumping your daddy’s knee.” I said.
“My daddy.” Apple Bloom said to herself. “Ah haven’t seen mah daddy in forever. If he or mom were around, they’d help me get mah cutie mark. Ah haven’t seen my mom since she took me shopping for school supplies.”
A cutaway shows Bulk Biceps (the muscular pony that shouts ‘YEAH’) dressed in Apple Bloom’s mom’s clothes; he asked her, “Alright, sweetie, you ready to get some notebooks, and protractors, and slacks?”
“Ah want blue jeans.” Apple Bloom whined.
“You’re getting SLACKS!” Bulk Biceps yelled. The cutaway ends.
After Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had a turn on the bungee jump simulation, it was Sweetie Belle’s turn. “Alright, Sweets, your turn!” I said.
“I dunno if I wanna do this.” Sweetie Belle said frightened.
“C’mon Sweetie Belle, it’ll be fun!” Scootaloo encouraged her.
“Well…. I do like fun.” Sweetie Belle said, smiling a bit. Make that a lesson to you all that if you say to a pony that something is fun, they’ll most likely do it, but that doesn't mean they're always right. Sweetie Belle walked over to the bungee jump trampoline, and the pony supervising the ride put a belt on Sweetie Belle’s waist.
“Despite the last pony getting so sick his spleen bursted out, you should do just fine, Sweets.” I said.
“WHAT?!” Sweetie yelled. “Get me off this ride!” But it was too late, the jumping has already started. Sweetie started screaming.
“That’s the spirit, Sweets! I knew you’d love the ride!” I yelled out.
“I…. think…. I’m….get…. ing…. sick!” Sweetie yelled out while hopping on the ride.
After a little while, the four of us walked over to my trailer, and Spike waited outside it.
"Sup brah?" I greeted him.
"What’s up, Flare?” Spike asked as we gave each other a bro-hoof. "Hey crusaders! What are they doing here?"
"Flare's going to help us get our cutie marks by teaching us how to play video games!" Sweeite Belle cheered.
“Yeah, since I couldn’t find anything else in Ponyville that’ll help them get their flank icons, then maybe I have something here that might help.” I explained.
"Really? Well if it's video games you want to learn, you've come to the right place! Flare here is a pro at the games!" Spike said.
"To tell the truth, Spike here actually learned my video games pretty quick. He's turning into a pro on the XBUCKS himself!" I said as I patted Spike on the head.
"Wow, if playing video games is easy, then we'll for sure get our cutie marks!" Scootaloo cheered.
I turned off my security system and we all walked inside. We headed inside the lounge where the XBUCKS is.
"Wow! Sure is pretty awesome in here! It looks bigger on the inside.” Apple Bloom said as she observed.
“Yeah, I get that a lot, and so does a certain Time Lord.” I said. “Come to think of it, is this place made out of Time Lord technology?”
“What? You didn’t make this?” Scoots asked.
“No, I found it like this.” I said. "Anyways, come get a bean bag chair and I'll show you how to play some games!"
"Ooh! Play this one!" Spike suggested holding one of my games.
"Halo: Reach?” I asked. “Nah, that seems a little too extreme for these munchkins. Go fetch Borderlands.”
"What's this game about?" Sweetie Belle asked, as she sat down on the sofa.
"Umm.... Sweetie.... that's where I sit." I said, pointing to where she's sitting at.
"Sit next to me!" Sweetie suggested.
I went silent for a second, but then I shook my head and said; "Nooo, I sit there."
"What's the difference?" Sweetie asked.
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Here we go!" Spike said with an annoyed tone.
"In the winter, that chair is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, yet not so close for it being too hot. It represents a spot where a cross-breeze is pathed by opening windows there and there. It faces the TV where it's not direct so I can talk to ponies, yet not so close where it looks distorted. I can go on, but..... I think I made my point." I explained.
"So.... you want me to move?" Sweetie asked.
"Well, I...." I was about to say, but Spike cuts me off.
"Just sit somewhere else!" he requested.
"Fine." I said with an attitude. I started walking around the room to find a place to sit, but there was no place I would agree on. I nearly sat down at certain places, but I got back up, and I still couldn't agree of where to sit.
Eventually Spike got impatient and yelled; "Flare, SIT!" I then sat down at the nearest spot. It wouldn't agree with me, but I went with it.
"So what's this game about?" Sweetie asked.
"Borderlands; let me tell you about Borderlands.” I started. “Well, Borderlands is about a group of Mexicans that team up and try to cross the border to America. Since they can’t get a visa for all of their children, they just have to sneak pass the American guards and try to get to the other side without getting spotted.”
A cutaway shows a group of Mexican ponies trying to sneak passed the American guards, and try to cross the border. As they hid, the parents signal all 34 of their children to come through because the path is clear. They eventually go through, and then they had to cross through traffic; so the Mexicans hop like a frog through the traffic without getting runned over; they cross a river, and head to the safe zone where the level ends. As the level ended, the Mexicans cheered, and the cutaway ends as well.
“Sounds boring.” Sweetie Belle said.
“It is boring.” I said.
“C’mon, show them Reach.” Spike suggested.
“They’re not ready for Reach.” I said.
“C’mon Flare, we can handle anything!” Scoots said.
“Well…. If you say so; but I must warn you, you may lose your temper in this game.” I warned them.
“Trust me, our tempers are always sadness and defeat, but this is only a video game. How much harm can it do?” Scoots asked.
“Don’t jinx it.” Spike said.
“So what’s this game about?” Sweetie asked.
"An alien race known as the covenant is at war with the humans. They attack one of their planets. One planet is called Reach. The covenant came to attack, and YOU, meaning Noble 6 who is Reach's main character, has to save the planet and kill all the aliens!" I explained
"Killing? Isn't killing.... bad?" Apple Bloom asked.
"It's only bad if you do it in real life. Never kill in real life! Killing in a video game, however, is a different story. Lion face." I explained.
"I dunno about you girls, but I'm in!" Scoots said. She tries to pick up one of the XBUCKS controllers, but can't because she has no fingers. "How do you hold this thing? I don't have a horn like you!"
"Oh right, I forgot. See that closet over there?" I pointed towards the closet.
"Yeah." Scoots nodded.
"That's a cool closet, isn't it?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess." Scoots said as she observed the closet.
"Now go through that trunk over there, and see if you can find some of those robotic fingers. It'll help you play this game." I suggested. Scootaloo walks to the closet and grabs two pairs of fingers. She sits back down on the bean bag and picks up the controller.
"Wow, this thing is so much easier to hold!" Scoots said. I started to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Scootaloo asked.
"Nothing, nothing. Forget it." I said.
"Where did you get these fingers?" Scoots asked.
"They came with the place. They were originally made for tickling, but I don't like being tickled, and I don't like tickling because I don't like doing stuff to other ponies that I don't like them doing to me." I explained.
"It's weird that you can't tickle yourself though, no matter how much you try." Spike said.
"So what do I do now?" Scoots asked.
"Choose your own avatar." I said.
"Like the movie, right?" Scoots asked.
"Kinda. It means you can decorate a model for yourself when you're on XBUCKS.” I said.
"Cool! Like decorating?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Just like my sister!" Sweetie Belle said excitedly.
So Scootaloo created her avatar, and they started up the main menu on Halo: Reach.
"What do you want to do, Scootaloo?" I asked. "Oooh I rhymed! Praise the Wizards! Note to self: I should stop saying that every few seconds."
"What's there to do?" Scoots asked.
"There's campaign mode, where you save Reach from the aliens. It's singleplayer, which means you'll be by yourself; unless we're doing co-op mode. Then you get a partner to play along with you!" I explained.
"What's Forge?" Apple Bloom asked.
"It means you can edit maps on Reach to make it more suitable for your battles on multiplayer. It's also good for machinima!" I explained.
"Multiplayer? Does that mean you save Reach with multiple players?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Not exactly. You actually fight your partner in-game. It's pretty fun. Spike and I do it sometimes." I said.
"But if you have the internet connected, you can play other players from around the world!" Spike said.
"No you don't." I said.
"What? But I thought you said...." Spike said confusingly.
"I was J-King you, brah. Jeez; you’re so gullible.” I said.
"Wow really? You can fight other players from around the world?" Scoots asked.
"Yep! You can team up too if you want. But I must warn you, fighting players is not like fighting NPCs from singleplayer." I said.
"NPCs? I thought we were killing aliens?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"NPCs are non-player characters. They're easier to fight, depending which difficulty you're in. NPCs are like robots. They do what they're programmed to do." I said.
"Wow! Robotic aliens!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.
"Yeah, something like that." I said as I started the game. We played slayer mode, playing the Spire map.
"So how do we do this?" Scoots asked.
"Move the left joystick to walk. Move the right joystick to look around. The back top-right button is to shoot....." I explained the controls to Scootaloo. It took alot of practice, but she finally got the hang of it; although she kept on dying. Every time she died she got more and more angry. She even eventually screamed and threw the controller at the soda machine in the room, and a Dr. Hooves soda came out.
"NICE Scoots! I never thought you can get a soda like that!" I said excitedly.
"This game is so stupid and hard!" Scoots yelled.
"I wanna try it! But I wanna do singleplayer. You said it's easier." Apple Bloom said.
"Alright! Good choice! Video game cadets should always take it slow before going into the front lines, just like Austin Powers!” I said.
A cutaway shows Austin Powers being all groovy with a random mare on the streets, and he said, “Hey baby, wanna go grab some coffee. Sounds really groovy, baby!”
“Coffee? That’s it? Just coffee?” the mare asked.
“I have to start off slow, baby. I can’t let my sensei down.” Austin Powers said.
“You done well, grasshopper. Giggity!” Glenn Quagmire said, bowing to his student. The cutaway ends.
After hours went by, and neither Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, nor Scootaloo did well on the game. They tried a couple of my other games too, but that didn’t seem to work. Nopony even got a cutie mark. Soon they tried the PC games, but that didn't work. The crusaders eventually got really stressed out. So I took them to my fish tank. After a few minutes watching my fish, they eventually calmed down.
"Oh Flare, we tried everything you love to do, and we still don't have our cutie marks! Maybe mah dream was just a dream, it wasn't the future at all." Apple Bloom said very sadly.
"There there, Apple Bloom! There there!" I said placing my left hoof on Apple Bloom's back. "I know one day you'll get your flank tattoos. You just have to wait. Like I said, you have to be patient, otherwise it's down the dark side, you go."
“But we’ve been waiting a long time!” Apple Bloom whined.
“Hey, just because I haven’t waited a long time doesn’t mean you will either.” I said in a calming voice.
”What?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Look, my point is: it takes time to find out what you’re destinies are.” I said.
“Like we heard that a million times.” Scootaloo complained, rolling her eyes. “All this stress for nothing!”
“Hey, did you have fun at least?” I asked.
“Not really.” Scoots said.
“I did!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Ah actually liked cleanin’ yer shop better.” Apple Bloom said.
“Well, I must say, the bungee jumping was…. Kinda fun.” Scoots said.
“See? Exactly! If you’re going to find out what your destinies are, then do something you all love to do. For what was unsuccessful today, at least you know in the future, you don’t do those things again, because they’re useless, and dumb.” I said.
"You know Flare, you're right!" Sweetie Belle said putting a smile on her face. "Even though we can't wait for our cutie marks forever, someday we'll get them, but as we try, we should make the best of it!”
"And who cares if everypony in all of Ponyville has cutie marks before we do, we'll get them one day! We just have to keep tryin' and not give up!" Apple Bloom said with a smile on her face.
“Next time, we’re going to try to get our cutie marks in skateboard tricks!” Scootaloo said.
“No way, we’re getting our cutie marks in animation!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Ah say we should get them by planting trees near outhouses!” Apple Bloom said.
“YEAH!” Sweetie and Scoots both yelled in excitement, but they stopped quickly. “Wait, what?”
“Well, it does sound like fun.” Apple Bloom said.
"Alright! Thanks for everything Flare, you're the best!" Sweetie Belle said.
“I’m not the best, I’m one of the worst. I’m pretty surprised you put up with me today.” I said.
“AppleJack warned us ahead, so don’t y’all worry.” Apple Bloom winked at me.
"If you have any other awesome stuff to teach us that you think we'll be good at, let us know. The video games are just not our thing." Scootaloo said.
"Hugs?" I asked as I held out my arms. "Where's the love? The love? The love?" The crusaders went to me and gave me a hug. Spike wanted a hug too, so he held out his arms and started to walk towards us. "Hey! This is a hug between me and the crusaders! Stay outta it!" I said to Spike.
"Whatever, I didn't want a hug anyway!" Spike said in jealousy.
"Bye, Flare! Thanks for everything!" they all said, and they walked out of the trailer. As they were walking out to the streets of Ponyville, it showed signs on each of their backs. Scootaloo's sign said, "Forever a dodo." Sweetie Belle's sign said, "I'm bad at cleaning floors." and Apple Bloom's sign said, "I wish Flare was my brother instead of Big Mac."
Spike and I chuckled as we watched the crusaders head home, then we gave each other a bro-hoof. Then I wrote a letter to Luna:
"Dear Princess Luna,
What Mr. Flare here learned today was helping those in need, which he already knew, but you know what? I know three little fillies need to escape the big bad bullies by earning their flank tattoos. I'll do all I can to help, but it's nice settling once in a while from the new shop to try new stuff. What I learned today was: when you're trying to find out what you're good at, do what you love, not what you just think you're good at.
Your loyal subject,
Flank Poop, heheheheh, I mean Flare Gun.
PS: I gotta remember to stop writing in pen. I just remembered Flank Poop isn’t polite to a princess. I’d cross it out, but then you’d wonder what’s underneath it, which might leave you in suspense for the rest of your life finding out what it is.”