Ghost slowly regained consciousness he saw the lights of the day coming through a small window just below the ceiling. How much beer did I drink last night?
When he snapped his eyes right open, he realized what had happened. A talking horse has foal – I mean, kidnapped me! That made him think a bit more through about what might happen. those fruit bowls are influencing me! Indoctrinating me! But I will not let it happen!
Ghost tried to move, but noticed that he was tied to the table. He wasn’t going anywhere. He was also muffled, thus making him unable to shout for help. Great. I’m now in the hooves of a talking horse meant for 8-year old girls that is going to dissect me once she comes back. Stupid green Harvey Dent up the ass having vermin…
Moving around didn’t really help Ghost get free, as did struggling. But while being busy freeing himself he was interrupted… by soft meowing coming from the window. Ghost looked up to see a white cat with blue eyes standing there. And what the hell do you want? he thought while glaring at the cat.
The cat pushed the slightly open window frame and came inside. The cat seemed to recognize Ghost for some reason. Where do I know this cat from? The cat hopped on some boxes that were near the window and then walked over to the table were Ghost was tied up on. The cat then looked at Ghost and made some strange sounds. Did that cat just laugh at me?
The cat hopped up on the table, and when he got a closer look Ghost recognized who this cat was. IS THAT SPERMY?
Spermy grinned and jumped on Ghostler’s head, going to do his…
WARNING: THIS IS A SFW STORY. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CENSORED. LET US JUST ASSUME THAT STUFF HAPPENED AND THAT GHOST IS NOW COVERED IN WHAT LOOKS LIKE GLUE. THIS IS ALL CAUSED BY SPERMY THE CAT.
After a quarter of an hour the sound of hooves were heard, causing Spermy to quickly leave through the open window.
Finally, Ghost thought. Someone to rescue me-
He cut himself short when he saw who that was in the door opening.
Of course. The foal- I mean, kidnapper.
Lyra came walking down the stairs, with a grin on her face. That grin suddenly left her face and was replaced for confusion when she saw all the white goo on Ghost his face, hooves and belly.
“What happened to you?” Lyra asked.
“Mffff!” Ghost responded, him of course still being muffled.
“O, yes,” Lyra said, hesitantly. “Let me get that off for you.”
Lyra then used her magic to get the pieces of cloth out of his mouth and untie the one that was tied around his muzzle. “So!” she said, looking awkwardly at the cloths that were stained with the white goo. “Is that better?”
Ghost groaned a few times, similar to the groans when he had breakdowns during his show. He then turned to Lyra. “What is the meaning of this?!”
Lyra looked at him, confused. “I-I –I was just going to analyze you and ask you some questions on where you came from, but where did all that white goo come from?”
Ghost then got into a violent rage. “I will do punitive damages out of your ass! First you give me a smack in the back of the head harder than two bottles of Johnny Walker, and now you’re just standing over there mumbling because there is… this all over me! What is your problem?”
“Well… I just wanted to know more about you!”
“And the best way to do that is to smack the living crap out of me?”
“But you were walking away when I asked you about your cavitalispm!”
“IT’S CAPITALISM! YOU SORRY GREEN MONGREL TYPE OF -”
“I’m sorry! But I really want to know what capritism is!”
“O, WELL? SHOVE IT UP YOUR CLOGGED UP - ” but then Ghost hesitated. He realized he maybe could gain a follower her. A talking horse meant for eight year old girls as a follower? Well, another capitalist in the capitalist army would always be welcome… right? Maybe he could do some good in this world, which seemed to be a dictatorship by two oppressing monarchs. “Really? You want to learn about capitalism?”
Lyra nodded.
“Well…” Ghost said. “Get me out of these restraints, then I can tell you all about it.”
Lyra put him out of his restraints. Then something remarkable happened. Ghost acted nice for once. He was covered in white goo all over, but that didn’t stop him from trying to reach his goal, which is to assimilate another person into the capitalist army. A bond grew between Lyra and Ghost over the course of an hour… a bond which was made by common interest in the world of humans, and…
“So…” Lyra said, shocked, “you mean that you are against the idea that poor people should not be allowed to get food from the government?”
“Yes!” Ghost said. “That is junkyard America! People who do no good for society and are only relying on food stamps and Obamacare to survive - ”
“That’s horrible!” Lyra said, eyes wide open.
“Well, if people cannot capitalize in - ”
“No! this is not the way! You’ve got to share, you’ve got to care! We should help the weaker ones! That is our responsibility!” Lyra intervened.
That was enough for Ghost. Making her understand the concepts of capitalism was hard enough, but the fact that she was so deeply rooted in socialism and social care was beyond Ghost’s imagination. Ghost had not even expected that she would even be worse than Lenin and Stalin!
Ghost facehoofed and was ready to leave. “I’m going to leave now. I see no other options.”
Lyra followed him, trying to stop him. “But wait! I wanted to be your friend!”
“Good for you,” Ghost said. he then followed his path out of the house. I still need to wash myself. Spermy’s stuff stinks
Lyra made no more attempts to stop him, but stayed behind and sobbed a little bit. “I don’t think I like humans anymore…” she mumbled.
Ghost didn’t hear her and continued on. He still didn’t know where the place the others were staying once, but hopefully he would find it eventually. While doing that he began thinking. Equestria obviously wasn’t a place for him to be. It was full of hardcore socialists. It was full of talking horses, something he despised from day one. He hated season 2, even without having ever watched an episode!
There had to be some way to leave this place. Like a portal, or a magical spell or something in that nature to get him out of this place. Something had brought him here, so logically there had to be something to bring him back.
“Ghost?” he heard someone say. When he looked to where the voice came from, he recognized it as being Asho.
“Ghost! I’ve been wondering where you were!” Asho said, smiling. “I’ve made some friends and I’m going to meet them after school! And.. “ he then noticed the goo on Ghost his face and hooves. “Is that glue?!”
“Yes.” Ghost lied. “Carry on. What is it about you and school?”
“ Well…” he looked down. “…I have to go there tomorrow…”
Ghost wasn’t really interested in anything that he would have to say, or even the fact that he was making friends with ponies. The idea behind it made him want to puke. Nonetheless, that would be less awkward than explaining what Spermy the cat did to him. Instead, he asked him the obvious question.
“Do you know the way to the place we’re supposed to be staying?” Ghost asked.
“Yeah!” Asho nodded. He then pointed to a side road. “We live down that road. To the right you will eventually see a yellow, large house. That is where we live.”
The fact that Asho said ‘life’ and not ‘staying’ made Ghost shudder, but he remained silent about that. If those betrayers of the capitalist army wanted to stay as colorful horses and eat grass and poop rainbows for the rest of their lives, than that was their own problem. Ghost, who at least had half a brain (where the other half was supposed to be there was Alcohol, which caused the rest of his brain to suck that up, which then caused that to swell which then would cause fits of violence and aggression. Of course, Ghost was not aware of this.)
Ghost thanked Asho and then walked down the road. The road, the road, the yellow brick road – no, wait, lets stay on track here. He walked down the road and came to the conclusion that all the yellow houses looked the same. This is what caused Ghost to wander forever and eventually cause his death. No, wait…
This author is an idiot. First he causes lots of plot holes and inconsistencies, now he doesn’t know where to go from here.
Screw it, let’s insert a very contrived reason in here. Despite all the buildings like looking the same, Ghost for no reason instantly found the correct one while never knowing what it looked like.
Ghost stepped inside the house, shouting “Hello? Is anyone there?”
“Yo, ma nigger, you look like you’ve rolled around in glue, man! What happened to ya?” Equestrian Citizen asked him.
“Spermy the cat did this,” Ghost said, frowning
“That is awkward, man! How did that happen?”
“Well,” Ghost said. “I don’t really know. The cat just came through a window and bam, everything was broken. And now I’m going to take a bath.”
EC nodded. “You do that. You look terrible, ma nigga!”
Ghost walked off to the bathroom he conveniently knew where it was despite never having been in this house. Meanwhile, he thought about how many of the capitalist army would be consumed by this insane world.
Is there time to save Karasz Kun? How can I save him? Ghost thought.
And for that matter, where is he?
It was quite early in the afternoon. For most ponies lunch break was already over and were getting back to work. Others only had to only work in the mornings and thus were now relieved of duty. Some of those were now sitting here at Sugarcube Corner, drinking coffee or soda and enjoying muffins and cupcakes, just like any normal day here.
Mrs. Cake enjoyed watching young couples in love in her cafeteria. One of the ponies she knew well; is was Derpy, the clutz of the town. She has never expected her to find a special somepony, but somehow she managed to get one; a human-turned-stallion who had his own mental problems. Mrs. Cake found it romantic and also quite cute seeing them together. She still couldn’t wrap around her head how those two found each other in such a short amount of time.
“So… do you want me to stick around for a while?” Karasz Kun asked Derpy.
Derpy blushed. “Of course, I would love that.”
Hopefully Derpy isn’t as good in breaking hearts as she is in breaking ceilings… Mrs. Cake thought. I could not stand to see that happen to her and that lovely stallion.
Now they were sharing a muffin together. Mrs. Cake loved seeing that as they both nibbled from their extra-large muffin. It was a chocolate with vanilla, the one Derpy loved most. Sometimes she would fetch a few before heading to work. She was a regular and good customer here.
Out of nowhere suddenly Pinkie Pie bounced in the cafeteria to deliver the couple their hot chocolate. Mrs. Cake noticed that the hot chocolate had cream on it in a heart-shape. Well, at least Pinkie understands a bit of romance… Mrs. Cake thought. Hopefully she will not interfere them too much. I’d hate to see that happen, but fortunately Pinkie has improved over the last few months. After all, she does foalsit the twin a lot.
“Here yaaa goo love doves!” Pinkie shouted. She then had a huge grin on her face and bounced back into the kitchen. She’s feeling very Pinkie today,, Mrs. Cake remarked. She then noticed how confused the stallion was by Pinkie’s action, but so did Derpy.
Derpy saw this as well, and explained it to Karasz Kun. “She is just Pinkie Pie. You’ll get used to it.”
Karasz Kun nodded. Yes, he probably would. Although back home he never had much love for the series, he began to feel something for this world – the way they behaved against him, and the way that beautiful lady on the other side of the table was. He finally had something he never had back home – friends, and love.
Back home he only had one friend. And that was a raging alcoholic who rambled on about capitalism.
Here he had something. The idea of wanting to stay and life here forever? That thought creeped up his mind every single hour, but he began to like it more and more.
After Ghost had taken a bath (and a long one too, since the white goo was quite sticky), he made his way through town. According to Suspicious Tumbleweed Karasz Kun had gone off to the middle of town – why? He didn’t know. But he also didn’t care. He needed the only friend he ever had now more than ever. He needed him to escape fruit-balls-land and he was going to help him find a way.
All of a sudden he saw a very fruity looking building he recognized – it was in the series he had never watched, and he also saw it yesterday before that pink thing wanted to fruit him up with a song and wanting to become friends. He stood there for just a second. There was something off with this place, he could feel it in his guts.
And that is when it happened. he saw two ponies coming out of the cafeteria. One of them was Derpy, while the other was…
There’s no way…
It was Karasz Kun. He and that piece of crap pony walked together like they were friends, no, even more than that.
This cannot be happening… Ghost thought.
Karasz Kun is in love with… a pony?!
While he saw the two doves walk together towards the edge of town, often nuzzling each other, Ghost just stood there, silent. He then fell through his legs and yelled loudly.