Uris and Shining stumbled through the streets of Coltton together, mugs of frothing drink clenched in their hands. Around them, ponies of all types danced around bonfires, occasionally looking up and waving before continuing to dance and sing together, though not quite as loudly or off-key as the pair. Only Wanna Be With You now. The pair stumbled through the crowd, just barely aware of where they were going.
Grinning dumbly, Shining looked drunkenly up at his newfound drinking partner. “Aw man, that shong, man, that’sh a real good shong,” he slurred.
“Thanks,” Uris replied, grinning ear-to-ear, staying on his feet far better than his friend. He still looked a bit woozy, of course, but not nearly as off-balance as the alabaster unicorn, who needed help just to keep from stumbling into every garbage can and open pit in their path. Truth was, he had just started to get a healthy buzz going, and that had only been after a few dozen mugs of the ponies’ cider.
“Urish man,” the unicorn continued with a stupid grin. “What’sh with you? Why you no shing right? Like me?”
“I’m just not feeling it, Captain,” Uris shrugged. “I guess humans have a higher alcohol tolerance than ponies. Go figure.”
Shining looked at him with actual pity in his eyes, “Aw man that…uh…that shucks, man. I’m shorry. You wan’ I should shtop so you not left out?”
“Hell no,” Uris smiled as he took another sip from the mug in his hand. “Just gonna take me a little while longer to catch up with you, that’s all.”
“You…hic…you sure? You drank enuff t’kill a stallion my shize already.”
“Challenge accepted,” the pilot said as he polished off the rest of his cider and tossed the empty mug over his shoulder.
Shining grinned. “Well, in dat cashe…” he threw a foreleg over the pilot’s shoulder and picked up where they’d left off, still horribly off-key.
Uris joined in just as they rounded a corner: ”…only wanna be with youuuu-whoooooooo!”
Suddenly, the unicorn’s eyes lit up, honing in on an empty garbage can lying on its side. “Oh, Urish man, check dish out, jusht watch…”
“Hmm?” The pilot looked up as Shining took off for the can, galloping up to a decent clip and soaring into the air just a few inches short of smashing face-first into its side. It was glorious, like something in the movies: the unicorn sailing over the can, his hooves primed, his eyes lit up with joy, his alabaster coat shimmering in the moonlight. Then his rear hoof clipped the side of the can and he was sent spinning into the road, face-planting into the gravel. “SHINING!”
“DDUUUUUUDDEE…” the unicorn laughed. “I didn’t e’en feel that!”
“Holy shit, you are drunk!” The pilot snickered.
“Hey, that’s a cool word,” Shining smiled dumbly, wiping a bit of blood off his nose as the human helped him to his hooves. “Shit-shitty-shit. Man, you humans got a lotta cool shtuff. Shit…”
“Don’t be like your sister,” the pilot laughed, his chortles joining the unicorn’s own drunken giggling fit, rising up over the empty street leading to the ruins of Coltton’s town hall. It took nearly five minutes for Uris to realize his companion wasn’t laughing anymore, a series of dry, hacking coughs and sobs replacing what was once a drunken bit of foalish revelry.
The pilot watched as the unicorn sobbed, his laughter having morphed into tears at some point in the middle of his laughing fit. “Shining?”
The unicorn looked up at him, his big, wet eyes glistening, his lip quivering. Even for a little pony, it was still a strange sight to see on a full-grown stallion’s face. “Ramirez was the besht soldier I ever knew in my life, man. He didn’t deserve that shit.”
The smile evaporated off the human’s face. “I know,” he sighed, taking Shining’s hoof as they slowly climbed the stairs towards the town hall. An idea suddenly crossed his mind to lighten the mood, and he grinned down at his newfound friend. “But hey, cheer up and lookit this!”
The unicorn stared at him quizzically as the pilot pointed to their joined appendages.
“It’s just the first date, and we’re already holdin’ hands!”
The unicorn guffawed, his smile reappearing in an instant. “Dude, you must be gettin’ drunk if I’m shtartin’ to look good.”
“What can I say, man? You’re an attractive stallion.”
“I’m a MARRIED stallion, you shit!” Shining guffawed, and the pair picked their laughter right back up where it left off as they pushed through the double-doors leading into the town hall’s lobby.
Despite being the most intact room in the building, evidence of the battle was still everywhere, from the piles of splinters on the main desk to the shattered windows up front. The tile was covered in dirt and debris from the cracks and holes punched into the ceiling. Still, it was as good a place to meet with the Princess as anypony could think of.
The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, along with Princess Cadence, stood in a tight-knit group in the middle of the room, all watching the pair stumble around. Cadence rolled her eyes and trotted up to her husband. “Shining, what have you done to yourself?” She sighed, supporting him.
“Aw, hey Cady! How’sh it goin’, shweets? What’re ya doin’ here, anywaysh?”
“Anything the Princess wants to say to you, she can also say to me,” she replied, shaking her head. “Besides, you’re in no condition to speak for yourself right now.”
“Aw c’mon, Princess,” Uris said jokingly. “We’re not as think as you drunk we are!”
“H-he meansh we’re not ash drunk…no wait, no…I mean yeah! We’re not…”
“I know what he meant, Shiny,” Cadence replied, wrapping her husband in a hug and shooting a look that could curdle milk the pilot’s way, who in turn just looked innocently out one of the shattered windows. “Still, this meeting concerns me.”
“Me too,” Twilight said, hoof under her chin in thought. “If the Princess had something to say to us, why wait until now to say it?”
“M-maybe she just wants to congratulate us in private?” Fluttershy asked, still avoiding eye contact with the pilot. He pretended he didn’t notice, and that it didn’t shatter his heart to realize she still couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
“But why? I’m sure she’d love making a big, splashy show about her gratitude, but instead she’s waited until now?” Twilight shook her head. “I know her. This isn’t like her.”
“You could just be makin’ a mountain outta a mole hill here, sugarcube,” Applejack shrugged.
“Maybe,” Twilight frowned just as the back door to the room burst open. The frown instantly turned into a smile as the Princess walked in, tailed by the Swarm brothers and Captain Vance.
“Good evening, my little ponies,” Celestia cooed.
“Good evening, Princess Celestia!” The ponies chanted. Well, most of them chanted, Shining Armor just sort of slurred along. The Princess smiled at her subjects as they gazed eagerly up at her. All in all, Twilight was the only one to catch the exhaustion hinting at the edge of her voice, along with the way the Princess shied from contacting the brothers, her body twisting ever-so-slightly whenever one got a little bit close.
“And good evening to you, son,” Vance said as he strode into the room, still in full dress uniform.
“Ah! Yeah, good evening, sir,” Uris replied, hurriedly tucking his undershirt into his pants. Vance chortled and waved his hand.
“No need for that,” he smiled, removing his cap and running a gloved hand through his thinning hair. “We’re gonna try and keep this as informal as possible.”
“Well, alright then…” Twilight immediately lunged forward and threw her hooves around the Princess, nuzzling into her neck while the rest of the ponies joined in, creating a massive pile of loving affection. Celestia smiled, hardly even taken by surprise as she ran a hoof through each ponies’ mane (partially to gauge Shining Armor’s temperature and make sure he wasn’t about to be sick. Nothing ruined a group hug like one of the participants spewing chunks all over everypony).
“Ahem,” the Captain cleared his throat, bringing all attention to himself. “Princess, I’m sorry, I know you deserve this, but we really need to move along now. I just…I want to get this over with.”
“Dad?” Uris asked, using that same tone he’d used when he saw the Captain walk up to him with tears in his eyes and news that his brother had just been killed.
“I know, Captain,” Celestia sighed, motioning to the brothers after pulling free of her subjects’ embrace. “And with that, I’ll leave the explanation to the experts. Major?”
With a solemn look on his face, Michael stepped forward and took a deep breath. “As you may all well know, Equestria and Earth are alternate versions of one another, existing amidst an infinite amount of possible universes that each have their own set of rules.”
“Oh great,” Rainbow sighed, rolling her eyes. “Someone else who wants to talk like Twilight.”
“Rainbow!” The rest of the ponies glared at the cyan pegasus until she held up her hooves in surrender. Celestia motioned for Michael to carry on, which he did.
“What you may not know is that the two are not completely independent of one another. The influence multiple universes have on one another is subtle, but oh-so-important for sapient life, such as ponies and humans. Uris may have already noticed these influences.”
The pilot nodded. “Friendship is Magic.”
“Yes it is!” Pinkie cooed happily.
“No, I meant ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,’ it’s this TV show back home for little girls. And…some guys…some weird guys…” he trailed off, no longer willing to say anything against the fandom. Not now. Not after Ramirez.
“Son, may I ask how you know about this show?” Vance asked, arching an eyebrow at his boy.
“I have the Internet, dad! It’s everywhere! Fanart, fanfiction, fan plushies, fan videos…the damn things are all over the place!”
“Okay, ignoring what in the hay a ‘TV show’ even is,” Twilight said, her hoof raised for quiet. “What does it have to do with us?”
“Everything,” Uris replied, shaking his head. “I just wrote it off as coincidence, but now I see it couldn’t be. There are just too many similarities.”
“’My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ is a near-perfect chronicle of many events here in Equestria,” Chen butt in, stepping next to his brother. “Many things that have taken place on this plane have been reproduced on Earth in the form of a story told to young children. The expulsion and return of Nightmare Moon, the Changeling invasion, Discord’s escape; all have been faithfully reproduced on Earth, with only the smallest of changes.”
“Nice story,” Dash chortled. “But I think you’re just trying to mess with our…”
Without a word, Michael whipped out a comic book and tossed it at her. “…heads,” she grumbled, glaring at the demi-god before nudging the comic open and leafing through it. A few moments later, her jaw dropped.
“Rainbow?” Twilight asked. “What is it?”
“It’s the second time we faced Queen Chrysalis!” Dash gasped. “It’s all here! Well, just a bit from the journey to her hive, but…yeah, it’s all here! We’re all here!”
Gasping, the ponies gathered around the little comic and stared, eyes widening with each panel. Eventually, they all looked up at Swarm, eyes wide. “How much have they…done?”
“Like I said, just the big stuff,” Michael replied, counting off on his fingertips. “Twilight going mental and enchanting her doll, Pinkie trying to babysit the Cakes’ foals…”
“That time I went looking for a pet, and found Tank?” Rainbow asked.
“Yep.”
“Twilight’s birthday party in Canterlot, when I tried to keep up appearances with Hoity-Toity at the same time?” Rarity prodded.
“Yeppers!”
“When Ah had t’tangle with them Flim-Flam varmints and that contraption a’ theirs?”
“Mmh-hmm!”
“M-me and Rarity’s weekend in Canterlot?” Fluttershy asked, eyes widening at the possibility that a child had seen her one weekend of debauchery. Rarity flushed immediately as their friends all gaped.
“No, but that was a bit more adult, so odds are it just didn’t get committed to paper.”
“ ‘Keep Calm and Flutter On?’ “ Pinkie asked.
“Oh, that one’s my…wait, that hasn’t happened…” he glared at her, and she smiled innocently back. “Oh, you clever little chica.”
“But how!?” Twilight gasped. “Two universes that have never had any contact with each other can’t possibly know this much! Not out of coincidence! This is…” she suppressed a shiver and brushed the comic book away. “This is scary, almost.”
“As I said, the different worlds are not as isolated as one would think,” Chen replied. “Places, events, people, they all leave a psychic impression behind, especially if they’re on a large enough scale.”
“That impression can bleed over into another universe,” Michael said, picking up where his brother left off. “The more ponies or people are involved, the bigger the impression and the more likely that it will bleed over into another reality’s psychic plane.”
“Wait, psychic!?” Uris gasped.
“You’re in a land of magical talking ponies, and you’re only now questioning what you knew about reality?” Michael asked with a snarky grin. “But yeah. Unbeknownst to most creatures, there is, in fact, a psychic plane that all living things are hooked up to. A ‘collective unconsciousness,’ if you will. Usually, the influence of this ‘living network’ of minds is subtle, working everyone’s subconscious and only ever becoming visible in dreams. But if an outside influence winds up infiltrating the network, such as a massive event that has multiple beings on another world thinking and feeling the same thing at the same time…”
“Kinda like Chrysalis’ invasion, or Discord’s escape!” Applejack gasped.
“Hold on, you said ponies AND humans,” Uris said. “Shouldn’t that mean the exchange would go both ways?”
Vance smiled proudly as Michael arched an eyebrow. “Very good question,” he said, pulling a small, tattered, hardcover book out of his jacket and tossing it to the pilot, who caught it mid-air. “And decent reflexes to boot! Page 18, second paragraph.”
Uris looked the book over. “The Battle for Moslemia, by Ink Quiver,” was engraved on the front in silver lettering, but other than that, it was totally blank. Looking at the demi-god curiously, he cracked the book open and scanned through until he found the page and the paragraph and began reading out loud:
“When the first of the great sky-chariots slammed into the North tower of the Global Marketplace, everypony assumed it had to be an accident. Surely, something so insane, so utterly destructive, couldn’t be on purpose, and so the first emergency responders on the scene were not army ponies, but simple fire-extinguishing teams. It wasn’t until after the South tower was hit when everypony realized: this was no accident. The United States of Thracia, the most powerful nation ever to exist upon the face of planet Certh, was under attack. And now, nothing would ever be the same. With so many deaths, how could they be?”
“9/11,” Uris gasped and closed the book, his eyes widening. His father watched him; his eyebrows practically up in his hairline.
“That little piece of fiction was released last year by an up-and-coming author living in Manehattan,” Michael explained, his face holding at neutral. “It’s doing alright.”
“So the events in Equestria impact the stories humans tell each other…” Twilight murmured, eyes widening as she gazed over at Uris.
“…Just like the events on Earth influence the stories ponies dream up.” Uris completed, taking a seat on the ground. How many of the stories he’d grown up with and loved were actually stories? How many were just borrowed from real events somewhere far away? Was there a Lord of the Rings universe? Or a universe dedicated to King Arthur and his Knights? Shit, was “Hop on Pop” really just an exercise in developing a literate mind, or a true story of elder abuse?
Suddenly, Twilight sat up, a tingle shooting up and down her spine. “Oh no,” she gasped, looking around in a panic. “Oh no!”
“And we’ve figured out just how much of a problem we have,” Swarm sighed, leaning against an overturned desk and lighting up a cigarette.
“What!? Twilight, what is it!?” Uris asked, still numb from the shock of what he’d just learned.
The purple unicorn’s eyes darted to her mentor, who nodded solemnly for her to continue. “Swarm just told us that big, terrible events are the ones most likely to make the jump over into other worlds’ dreams!”
Applejack gasped in realization. “Events kinda like the big ol’ battle we just had fer ourselves.”
“Bingo,” Michael sighed, inhaling on his cigarette.
“Holy-“ Uris’ mind reeled with the implications: millions of kids going to sleep at night, expecting dreams and fantasies of beautiful, Technicolor unicorns, and getting a horrendous and wholesale bloodbath. Animators for kids’ TV shows finding themselves unable to think about anything except a tiny town in the middle of Nowhere transforming into an all-out slugfest between good and evil. Kids waking up screaming in the middle of the night as their minds played out their own little versions of “Saving Private Uris.” “Great, so now a million parents are gonna go a few months without sleep.” He grimaced.
“That would be the case most other times,” Chen said, uncomfortably playing with the cufflinks on his suit jacket. “Unfortunately, these are not other times. Mars has been a very busy little tyrant. He has launched numerous attacks against dozens of other fantasy-based worlds with the sole intent of igniting the event we have described here. This version of Equestria is not the only world to suffer at his hands.”
“So, how bad is this gonna get?” Shining asked, the serious tone of the conversation having sobered him up a bit.
“Bad,” Michael said, breathing out a huge puff of smoke. “You ever have a day where you just didn’t feel like yourself? Where everything just seems darker, and nothing that usually perks you up seems to matter anymore? Imagine if that feeling were concentrated into the very air you breathe, like a gas, and then spread out over the entire planet.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” Vance sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.
“We’re talking world-altering, life-scarring nightmares for damn near every kid on Earth. For the adults, suicide rates would double, if not triple, and that’s the best case scenario. If a politician or world leader proved to be susceptible to the net’s influence…” he shrugged and shook his head sadly. “War…violence…death…and everyone would just be too lethargic to fix any of it.”
“That can’t happen!” Cadence gasped suddenly, standing up in the middle of the room and surprising everyone with her outburst. “I know how much these humans have done for us, I’ve seen first-hand what they’re willing to sacrifice! They can’t have given up all that just to go back to a world of sadness and despair! There has to be some way to stop this!”
“There is,” Celestia replied with a sad smile. “Everypony simply has to stop thinking about the events of the past few days.”
“Oh, is that all?” Rainbow snorted sarcastically. “Sorry Princess, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to stop thinking about all this crazy stuff for a few months, at least.”
“No, no, it’s easy! Watch!” Pinkie shouted, her eyebrows crinkling. A few moments later, a contented look crossed her face. “There, see? Not hard at all.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, it’s not that easy for everypony.”
“What’s not that easy…ohmygosh, Twilight!” The pink mare immediately darted behind Rainbow. “Don’t turn around, but there’s a big, weird, alien standing just behind you!”
“Is she being serious right now?” Uris asked.
“Ohmygosh, another one! We’re surrounded!”
“It’s Pinkie Pie, this is as serious as she gets.” The lavender unicorn sighed.
“As tempting as it would be to tell everypony to just forget it,” Celestia said with a strained smile. “I doubt that would be possible for any of them. Especially those who’ve lost loved ones.”
“A spell then!” Twilight said desperately. “We could seal Equestria off from leaking this ‘psychic vibe’, or whatever you wanna call it, until everypony gets over it!”
“Even if such a spell existed, it could be months, if not years, before the sting of the trauma suffered here lessened to a point where it would spare Earth from any adverse effects.”
“And between the solar winds and cosmic radiation leaking through the nether, along with the psychic vibes leaking out from every world around this one,” Chen sighed. “Maintaining such a spell would require a significant amount of power being held stable over all of Equestria against constant assault for all that time.”
“Months…if not years…” Cadence gasped, holding her husband close, a look of hopelessness crossing her face. “I could barely maintain that shield over the Crystal Empire for a week.”
“But what else can we do!?” Shining asked, now completely and totally sober.
“As my faithful student said, the answer can be found with a spell,” Celestia replied, her smile wavering. “Just…not the kind we are familiar with using. Is anypony here familiar with an MMES?”
Everyone in the room shook their heads, even the Swarm brothers. Everyone, that is, except for Twilight. The little lilac unicorn took a few steps back, the look on her face completely aghast, as if the Princess had just insulted her mother. “Princess…no…” she gasped.
“It’s the only way, my faithful student,” Celestia sighed, her eyes closing as the smile evaporated right off her face.
“Twilight, if you would be so kind to explain for the magically illiterate in the room,” Chen said, motioning for her to continue.
“MMES stands for ‘Mass Memory-Effecting Spell’,” Twilight said, her voice high and shaky, but still ringing out clear. “It’s exactly what it sounds like. It allows for the memories of a targeted populace to be altered in any way, shape, or form the user chooses. It requires a lot of power, the kind of power reserved for Alicorns, and even then it takes two of them.”
Celestia nodded sadly. “My sister and I already discussed this yesterday, while everypony else was busy preparing for the celebration and cleaning up from the battle.” She gazed out the window at all the smiling, celebrating ponies, losing themselves in music and drink. “Tomorrow, the last of the humans will return to their homeworld, at which point my sister and I will cast the spell, altering the memories of every pony in Equestria to believe that this little village was simply the victim of a particularly nasty dragon attack. The trauma of those lost will still be there, of course, but it will not be coupled with the trauma of Equestria nearly falling to enemy invasion or the fear that such an enemy might return.”
“Well, that’s good, right?” Dash asked. “Heaven knows I could forget those evil jerks: it’s not like they’re worth remembering, anyway.”
“It’s not that simple,” Twilight breathed. A few tears rolled down her face, her body shaking visibly with the effort it took to keep from bawling. “For the spell to be truly effective, EVERYTHING to do with the memory you want to change has to be altered to match it. You can’t just pick and choose what you want to keep.”
Once again, Applejack was the first to catch on. “Twilight…” she said breathlessly. “Ya…you can’t mean what Ah think you mean.”
Celestia’s protégé nodded and sniffled as her mentor took over, giving her some respite. The Princess took a deep breath, deciding to get it all out in one go, like peeling off a bandage. “For the spell to work and be truly effective, to ensure that both our worlds will always be safe and that Equestria remains the place of light that humans can reach for, EVERY memory of the past few days must be altered or omitted, including your memories of the humans you’ve met. The spell will make you forget all of them, not just the enemy soldiers, but Mr. Uris, Captain Vance, and everything and everyone they brought with them to defend our world.”
“And…and there’s more…” Twilight whimpered. “Anything to do with the memory before it was altered could undo the spell. So if we even see any of the humans we know ever again, the spell will snap and our true memories will come rushing back.”
“So to protect Earth, I am not only asking you to willfully submit to having your memories of these humans wiped, I am also warning you that you will most likely never be allowed to see them again.” Celestia said. Despite her best efforts, a few tears traced down her cheeks.
Everyone in the room fell silent, the shock almost a palpable feeling you could sense in the air. Uris was the first to break the stunned silence, turning angrily to his father. “You knew about this, didntcha!? You knew this was gonna hafta happen!”
“I knew about the ‘not seeing each other again’ part, but not the whole memory-alteration thing,” Vance replied, his face an unreadable block of ice. “It was part of the agreement the Joint Chiefs signed with Canterlot that allowed us to come here in the first place. I’m sorry, son. I tried to tell ya earlier, but we got sidetracked.”
“This can’t happen,” Dash gasped. “It’s not right!”
“That ain’t fair!” AJ butt in. “It ain’t fair!”
Fluttershy just took a few steps back and collapsed against Rarity, who started stroking her mane out of pure habit, her eyes gazing out at nothing in shock. Pinkie, meanwhile, took it upon herself to comfort Twilight, shaking her head slowly and sadly as the unicorn sobbed into her shoulder.
“No,” a voice rang out over all the others. Everyone turned as Shining stood in the middle of the room, his face twisted into a mask of pure rage as he stared defiantly up at the Princess.
“Shining Armor,” she said, her voice a wavering pile of exhaustion. “It’s the only way.”
“No,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I can’t do that, I won’t!”
“It’s the only…”
“BULLSHIT IT’S THE ONLY WAY!” He screamed. “YOU DON’T GET IT! NONE OF YOU DO! MY MEMORIES ARE ALL I HAVE LEFT! THEY’RE ALL THAT’S LEFT OF…of him…” his voice trailed off and his head dipped low, tears streaming off his face and soaking the wooden planking beneath him. Cadence was at his side in a heartbeat, stifling sobs at the sight of the stallion she loved in so much pain.
“Ramirez…he was the best soldier I ever met: the bravest, the most compassionate, one of the most incredible examples of discipline and courage I have ever had the honor of meeting in my life. And you…” he turned his angry gaze on the Princess, accusing her through his tears. “Now that he’s gone and my memories are all I have left of him, you expect me to get rid of them? Just like that? To erase the greatest honor of my life JUST LIKE THAT!?”
“I’ll remember!” Uris screamed. The unicorn turned to him, eyes widening through the tears. The pilot was on the verge of tears himself, but was doing a better job at hiding it. “I’ll remember enough for both of us, okay? I promise. I’ll never forget.”
“But…” Shining blubbered. “I don’t…I can’t…”
“And I’ll join you,” Cadence said, nuzzling her husband gently. “You won’t have to forget alone.”
Celestia arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure? As an Alicorn, you would be exempt from this spell. We’d have to perform a separate spell to alter your memories like everypony else’s.”
“I’m not letting him suffer through this alone,” Cadence replied firmly.
“Cady,” he grasped her hoof. “You don’t need to. Like the Princess said, you’re royalty, you can remember if you…”
“I’m not letting you go on alone,” she repeated, tears in her eyes as she gave him another kiss, not as passionate as the ones before, but still enough to lay him out over the ground. Still whimpering, he wrapped her in his embrace as she shushed him, trying to keep him calm. “Not again. Not ever again.”
“Okay,” Twilight said, her breath shaking. “Okay, so what now?”
“Now,” Celestia smiled. “I want you all to go out there and enjoy the time you have left. Enjoy what you have while you have it, because tomorrow, it will be gone.”
For a while, nobody moved, and then Vance got up and walked to the door, holding it open. The others stared at him blankly. “Well?” He asked, a tiny smile on his mildly-wrinkled face. “C’mon! I want to get hammered tonight, and it’s no fun doing it alone.”
“Pony cider isn’t very alcoholic, dad,” Uris said shakily, smiling as he wiped at his nose as if he were a little boy again. “I don’t think we CAN get drunk off it.”
“Challenge accepted,” the Captain replied, motioning towards the door.
A few moments later, Pinkie sprang up and hopped out the door. “C’mon, everypony!” She chimed happily. “Let’s show the humans how to party Ponyville style!”
“They might find it a little tame, but I think I can fix that,” Dash said, smiling mischievously and bolting out the door in a blur of rainbow.
“Well shoot, Ah might have a few steps t’teach ‘em,” AJ said, trotting happily out the door.
“You know what? I think I can help there,” Twilight said, wiping away her tears as she joined her friends outside. “They might need somepony to coordinate all the festivities.”
“Or to give it a certain flair, a certain, dare I say it? Je ne sais quoi.” Rarity said, joining her friends with a fashionable toss of her mane.
“And everypony leaves in the most stereotypical way possible,” Michael said, grinning ear to ear. “Well Chen, whaddya say? Can you pull the stick outta your ass for just one night?”
“Please,” the man in the business suit replied, pushing his glasses up his nose as he strolled out the door with his brother. “We all know who can drink who under a table.”
“Oh, you’re SO on!”
“Wait,” Cadence held up a hoof to stop the pair before they could leave. They turned to her, eyebrows raised. “I need to know what happened to my husband. Why did he…almost die?” She asked, wrapping her hooves around his shoulders.
“Cady, I didn’t almost die,” he frowned.
“You saw Uris’s brother. That sounds pretty dead to me.”
Sighing, Michael walked up to the princess and knelt at her side. He looked over his shoulder at Chen, who nodded and motioned for him to continue. “Well, let’s just say your husband has a little bit of me inside of him,” he replied in a hushed whisper, snapping his fingers. Instantly, the fur on the front of Shining’s neck vanished, revealing smooth chrome, shimmering in the light. All eyes widened.
“You didn’t really heal me, you just applied a bandage!” Shining gasped, the chrome undulating with every word he spoke, tickling his throat.
Michael nodded. “That’s why you nearly died when I…lost myself. My inner turmoil caused the bandage to lose cohesion and fall off, exposing the wounds underneath. However, like all bandages, this one will cease to exist once it is no longer needed.”
“And Shining will be okay?” Cadence asked, hopefully.
“More or less,” he shrugged. The ponies glared at him until he relented. “I’m afraid there will still be some scarring. A bandage can only do so much, y’know?”
“Scarring,” Shining sighed, rubbing his wife’s shoulders. “Whaddya think Cady? Will you stay even after I lose my pretty face?”
Smiling, she looked him in the eyes and pulled him in for another kiss. “I think I’ll enjoy having a reminder of your bravery whenever I look at you,” she replied.
“But it won’t be a reminder because you won’t remember anything, right?”
“I think I can fix that,” Celestia said, trotting into the conversation. “Shining Armor’s bravery doesn’t need to be totally erased, now does it? It just needs a few details to be omitted.”
Smiling, tears rolling down her face, Cadence hugged her husband close. “Thanks Auntie Tia.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just need to get used to you being the pretty one in this marriage,” Shining snickered.
“Honey, please. I was always the pretty one. This will change nothing,” she cooed, planting another kiss on his lips.
“And with that settled,” Michael replied, heading out the door with his brother. “I now go to drink until my brains fall out!”
“Sounds like a blast,” Shining said, trotting after the pair.
“Oh, no you don’t!” His wife yelled, taking off behind him. “You’ve had enough for one night, mister!”
“But Cadyyyyyyyyyyyy…”
“So, demigods can get drunk?” Vance mumbled as he walked outside to join them, allowing the door to shut and muffle all their voices. “Guess you learn somethin’ new every day.”
And that left just three in the room: Princess Celestia, Fluttershy and Uris. Uris sighed and slowly walked towards the little yellow pegasus, trying (and failing) to keep his smile from getting too awkward. “Well,” he said. “I’ve always liked having a pretty lady on my arm when I drink.”
“I…I…” Fluttershy sighed, and then trotted towards the back door, her head down, eyes covered by her mane. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Don’t be,” Uris mumbled quietly as she vanished into the night. He sighed dejectedly as he trudged towards the door, completely ready to spend a night drinking alone, until a gold-clad hoof rested on his shoulder.
“Perhaps I could fulfill that requirement?” Celestia asked, a little smile on her face.
Uris smiled and took her hoof in his hand, escorting her outside. “It would be my honor, Princess.”