The white around me faded, and my eyes snapped open as the dream I’d been trapped in for who knew how long finally came to an end. I tried to sit up, but found that I was still bound in the sheet with several straps; the protective measures the doctors had gone through to keep me under control during my more unstable times. As my grogginess faded completely, I froze for a moment in disbelief… it was all real after all. Me being in Princess Cadance’s body, Celestia saving me from Discord in my dreams, despite that…
“I… I’m awake…” I said, struggling with the bindings wrapped around me, causing myself to fall over clumsily.
“Miss… Amos, was it?” An older gentleman’s voice asked, prompting me to look over at the doorway and notice Dr. Murphy standing there.
“D-Doctor Murphy?” I asked.
“There’s…you have a few guests I’m hoping may help you recover.” The doctor explained, approaching me and undoing the locks on the bindings and pulling them off of me. Shaking myself off a little, I let the sheet they’d wrapped me in tumble off of me and stood myself up, letting out a few deep breaths.
“Thank you, I really am starting to feel better…” I said with a smile, though given how messy my mane and tail looked, I probably looked as if I’d seen better days. “…who’s here to see me?” I asked, curious.
“Care to take a guess?” a familiar female voice asked, and to my surprise, Celestia herself entered the room, looking like she was recovering from drowsiness of some kind. My eyes widened and I stared in disbelief at her for a moment.
“A-Aunt Celestia? Y-you’re here?” I asked, instinctively calling her ‘aunt’ again but too surprised to really think on it at the time. Behind her, a small pink form seemed to be hiding. The doctor chuckled.
“Yes, it would seem there are more…” He looked over at Celestia. “…Ponies out there then yourself, Miss Amos.”
The female pronoun caught my attention. “I’m not a Miss! …I mean…” I sighed, looking myself over. “…I guess now I am.”
“At least you haven’t been downgraded further…” a voice that sounded like a little girl’s said, prompting a giggle from Celestia and I noticed it was the thing behind her. Getting a closer look, I saw what it was.
I don’t know if it was this girl part of me or bits of Cadance’s personality intermingling with my own, but what I saw behind Celestia was the most adorable little pink pegasus filly ever, which caused me to squee involuntarily. “Oh my!” I cried out, staring down at the cute pink filly. “What’s your name, sweetie?” Apparently my overreaction to being bombarded by filly adorableness was enough to scare her and cause her to hide behind the Princess’ leg.
“Oh no, not another one!” The filly cried out, causing Celestia to laugh even harder.
“Another what?” I asked, confused as Celestia managed to compose herself enough to answer back.
“Luna has a weakness for foals.” She explained. “Unfortunately for my friend, she is no longer used to being a filly.”
I rubbed my forehead a little, still slightly surprised by my reaction to the filly. “That was weird though, dunno what came over me. I guess I—” I caught myself, trying to remember this wasn’t me-me I was talking about. “…er, Princess Cadance used to as well… I mean, there was the foalsitting thing.” I explained, figuring she must have shared Luna’s love for foals and put it into lucrative and presumably social use. “Gotta admit though, she’s very cute!” I said with a giggle.
The little filly sighed. “That’s what everypony tells me… I don’t understand what’s so fun about being pink.” She said. “No offense meant, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” The filly added. I couldn’t help but wonder her sincerity in that after using my—Cadance’s formal title.
“Who?” Celestia asked after a beat, apparently whoever she used to be must have had very little prior knowledge of the show or bad memory given Cadance wasn’t referred by that title very often.
“My royal title, Aunt Celestia.” I said, gaining an ‘oh’ of understanding from the Princess, but then something else caught my attention. “Waiiiit…” I said, leaning down and looking at the filly. “…did you used to be a guy, too?” I asked.
“…Yes?” The filly asked.
“Actually, she was only two days younger then me when we were humans.” Celestia explained. “She found the Fountain of Youth.”
“Lucky me…” The filly fumed, causing me to immediately put my hooves to my mouth as I desparately tried not to laugh. At that time the doctor decided to break the awkward moment and spoke up.
“Well, I’ll let you three talk. Just hit the call button when you need me again.” He said, and he turned and went down the hall back towards where I assumed his office was. Once he was gone, Celestia spoke up again.
“That’s not the worst, but I’m afraid that the poor filly has been embarrassed enough for now.” Celestia said, standing up straighter now as I assume the fatigue she’d been experiencing had ended. “On a more serious note, how are you feeling?”
“I’m… feeling better.” I said softly. “I don’t hear the voices anymore, or see… him anywhere.” My body shivered a little just thinking about Discord. “And somehow, I feel more comfortable like this now…” I’d take the unusual level of increasing ease I was having with being in this pink alicorn mare body over Discord’s presence any day, but it still weirded me out… I didn’t want to suddenly feel a desire to stay like this if I could help it.
“I can barely imagine what it must feel like to have been stuck with him.” Celestia said.
“It was awful… every time I thought I’d found some sense of hope, it was a trick, like a carrot on a string. He tortured me every night, making me relive some of my worst memories… telling me I was insane and how my life was over.” I said. Don’t think about that anymore! I urged myself. That was then, you’re free of him now. It’s time to move forward. I managed a small smile. “…But I know now it’s not.” I said, approaching Celestia and gave her a hug. “Thanks… so much for helping me.”
“Well, at least he didn’t make a nobody version of her that foalnapped me…” The filly said offhandedly, confirming I wasn’t the only one Discord had chosen to torment.
“Oh my, that’s awful! At least you’re okay, right?” I asked, looking over at the young pegasus.
“Yes, the Princess saved the plumber this time.” The filly explained. “Though I’m not seeing the wedding second episode the same way as before. Celestia could have easily defeated queen bug if she didn’t care about collateral damage.”
“It was only a little hot.” Celestia replied, earning a glare from the filly.
“Tell me about it.” I said, recalling the last time I saw the wedding episodes. “When I think of that episode for some reason I get chills now.”
The filly’s ears drooped a little. “Oh that’s right, you were…” She paused, realizing who she was talking to. “I’m sorry.”
“Somepony mind to fill me in?” Celestia asked. “I’m afraid I didn’t see that episode, or remember the event you are talking about.”
I took a moment to recall the episode, oddly it felt uncomfortable to think about in some places now. “The changeling queen, she foalnapped me…” I shook my head, realizing I was referring to Cadance as though she were me again and quickly corrected myself. “I mean, Princess Cadance when she was about to get married, as part of a plan to overthrow Celestia… and disable Canterlot’s defenses against her changeling swarm. It’s weird, when I think about it now… it feels so real, and I can remember being down there in that dark cave for days… and the changeling queen gloating whenever I was fed.”
The filly and Celestia exchanged a few whispers, and thanks to these pony ears I could make out a few words, about the real Cadance and not having told me clearly. I cocked my head in concern, the obvious escaping me as I didn’t want the pieces to fall into place in the way they were clearly going to… “What’re you talking about?” I asked nervously.
Celestia hesitated for a moment. “Well… what would you answer if I ask you who you are?”
I rolled my eyes. “Duh, it’s…” I paused, shaking my head and trying to remember but drawing a blank for any name other then…. “Cadance.” I said. “I know I had a different name before but it just… doesn’t feel right anymore. I hear it sometimes when it’s addressed to me but then it just sort of fades or doesn’t feel like my name anymore.”
“It’s the same with us.” The filly answered. “Don’t worry about it. As long as you remember your human name, you should be fine.”
I still had some questions that needed answers, however. “But… what are you talking about? I know Discord did this, did he somehow merge me and Cadance? I mean it’d explain the confusing memories and such… or…” He turned me into her, so now it was evident somehow I was starting to empathize with her a lot more, and even think like her at times. Something in my mind… I remembered a discussion with Alice… she had a theory but it couldn’t be that, right? That’s even crazier then I was!
Celestia sighed. “I’m not sure you can call remembering your past life as merging, but yes, it’s Discord’s fault.”
“…Past life?” I asked. “What about the human-me? Who I was till just a couple days ago?” What did who I was amount to? Was it all a fabrication? It made me even more confused about my identity.
The small filly looked up at Celestia. “Can I answer that question?” She asked, getting a nod from Celestia before looking up at me. “Does the words Five Score Divided by Four mean anything to you?” As she said that, memories of that nightmare I’d had so long ago came back, that final farewell Discord had said before it ended…
Five score divided by four… five score divided by four… five score divided by four…
Your memories removed, your bodies confused…
“Yes, it does…” I said softly. “Perhaps you’ve seen the—” It was then I realized the walls, which till now I was certain had been covered in ramblings and lines from it, were clean of them. “…Did I imagine that?!” I wondered aloud, then blinking my eyes and instinctively I shut them, drew in breath with my hoof to my chest, and thrust it out as I exhaled. As I reopened my eyes I noticed Celestia and the filly looking rather… amused by my actions.
After a moment, the filly spoke up again. “We all had a dream similar to yours, where Discord cursed us using those words.” She said.
“Cursed... us...?” I asked, then realization set in and I couldn’t deny it anymore as I remembered Alice’s theory when I saw her last. “You.... oh god, was Alice right after all?!” I cried out.
“Who?” The filly asked as she looked up at me.
“Friend of mine… the old me, anyway. After I finished changing I went to see her.” I explained. “She’s a total pegasister… girl fan of the show… we talked awhile, and she had this crazy theory that the dreams were real… that…” I froze, gritting my teeth and attempting to rationalize this again, or it may have just been denial again. “…it’s completely insane, I mean she’s a fictional character, right?” I asked. “That I really AM Princess Cadance, and always was.”
The filly looked back to Celestia, who motioned her to continue. “My next question might sound weird, but how much does five score divided by four make?” She asked me. It took me a second to break it down but the answer quickly came to me. Blame my hate for math.
“25?” I asked.
The filly continued. “I know mares don’t like that question, but how old did you used to be?” She asked next.
“I had just turned 25 when it happened.” I replied.
The filly seemed downcast as she spoke again. “So… was I. And the same is true for the Prin—Tia.” She said, again avoiding Celestia’s full name and title.
“Guess some of us gained or lost years.” I said, recalling my educated guess that Cadance and Shining Armor were probably in their late 20’s by the time the series had ended.
Celestia’s loud sigh quickly snapped me from my thoughts. “Thanks for reminding me that I’m an antiquity.” She said, causing me to laugh a little.
“Well, you’ve still got that eternal youth going so don’t feel too bad.” I said with a smirk.
“I wouldn’t mind being older…” The filly said dejectedly. “Anyway, let’s get back on track. Isn’t it curious that the length of time from Discord’s curse corresponds to your age?” She asked.
I froze for a second; either because of my discomfort or just how impossibly adorable Equestrian fillies looked even outside a cartoon. Maybe both… “I… suppose?” I asked. “But the TV show didn’t air till several years after any of us were born. All of us would have been about fifteen when it premiered.”
“That’s a mystery.” Celestia replied. “But there is the question of how faithful the show truly is.”
“Of course I remember the ending.” I replied. “Discord betrayed Celestia in a fight against monsters from Tartarus, then he rampaged through the Crystal Empire and did away with Cadance!” The memory of that made me shiver a little. It had all felt so real, even if I wasn’t in control of anything in it. “Just… like in that dream I had… only then it was like I was seeing it through her eyes.”
The filly giggled a little then sighed, causing me to look over at her, and Celestia spoke up again.
“I’m afraid that the Cadance part isn’t in the episode.” She said.
I cocked my head, confused. “How can that be? I remember seeing it… I do seem to recall Wikipedia had quite a flame war over the synopses, though…” Seriously, episodes of daytime talk shows was nothing compared to that level of fighting. People seemed to recall things differently, Alice remembered it as Discord addressing the fourth wall at the end announcing that was how Equestria was unmade and made me assume we got different endings.
“Well…” Celestia began. “So far, the only ponies I encountered that could truly remember their old life have been me and Luna. The others remember clearly what happened before being sent away, then the rest is…” She grew quiet.
“I liked the show enough to watch it regularly.” I admitted. “But I wasn’t what anyone would consider a ‘true brony fan’…” I would never say it out loud but I did enjoy my share of fanfiction as well, but never the weirder stuff. And I did love the Twidash ship… of course, now those were probably a moot point. “But still, I rewatched on youtube to see if they were confused. I got the same ending as last time, didn’t think much on it afterward though, the flame wars going on just felt like more trouble then they were worth… but what’s your point?” I asked. This all still made no sense, the idea of being a fictional character from a show, especially one that didn’t exist till I was already a teenager. “Why am I seeing things like this? How can I remember and have a normal life till now if I’m a character who was on a show that came out a whole decade and a half after I was born?”
The filly seemed to take a second to think of a response for that. “If I was writing it as a book, I would make it that one of the characters who have been sent away happend to remember her past life and somehow gave the idea to the creator of the show. But what are the chances of this happening in real life?” She asked.
“Considering that we are ponies?” Celestia asked her.
“Point taken.” The filly replied.
I looked downward, feeling less sure of myself as the things they said became much harder to ignore or deny. “With all that happened, that's crazy enough to believe... but does that mean...?”
“I'm afraid so.” Celestia said with a nod. “You and Cadance from the show are one and the same. But, like I told you in your mind; that does not mean that you should discard the time you spent as a human.”
This was all too much to take. How can I not feel like I have to discard it? Was it that who I was… was the lie and THIS was the real me? But why did I feel like the old me, still? Why did I still have moments of feeling like I were in a stranger’s body? I involuntarily began hyperventilating, but I managed to focus my attention enough to closes my eyes and do my breathing exercise again as Celestia approached me and gently nuzzled, like a caring parent.
“That’s alright. You are not alone. Let it all out.” She said softly.
Every profanity I knew was being screamed in my head. It was insane yet it had to be true. “I…” I looked down at my slender, equine body, my large purple eyes tracing towards my thick, tri-colored tail as it swished back and forth; another reminder I was no longer human. “I… everything… the life I knew was a lie, and the one I barely know is the real me?” I tilted my head, allowing the pony that Cadance… I… had come to know as an aunt to comfort me; I needed it more then ever now.
“A lie is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as another facet of who I am.” She responded.
I gave a slow nod, hoping eventually I could maybe find some semblance of happiness like this. “I just hope my parents can handle this… I bet they’ve been worried sick about me since I disappeared.” I said. Celestia looked away as I made mention of that, but I was unsure why. I was about to ask when the filly spoke up again.
“I don't want to interrupt anything, but maybe we could get out of this place first?” She asked.
“Y-yeah, we probably should.” I said, realizing we were still inside the cell and looking over at the call button.
“Good. Too many horror movies in asylums...” The young pegasus remarked. I had to admit that was true, it did have an odd appeal to it. And then of course there was those really popular Batman games that came out years ago… not to mention these last couple days had been like some deranged horror movie for me anyway.
“If you say so. I answered. “I can’t leave the cell unless the doctor allows me to.” I explained as I used my magic to activate the call button as Celestia whispered something to the filly that I didn’t quite hear. “He'd at least need to know I'm leaving now. I need to meet with Alice and... settle other things…”
Find Alice, let her know I was okay, let my other friends know I was okay… well, as okay as I could be after turning into a pink alicorn princess. Then the matter with my parents, and figuring out where to go from there… fun, fun… I thought to myself.
“And us, we need to go home.” The filly said. “My sisters must be worried sick.”
“Where will you be?” I asked, “When I’m done with things here… where could I find you?” In all honesty I really didn’t want to separate from the only other ponies I’d run into so far this quickly.
“I’d prefer to wait that we are… safer before telling you.” Celestia replied. I suppose she had a point, who knew what could be overheard and by whom in this place.
“If you’ll visit me again, tell me.” I said as Dr. Murphy finally returned.
“Yes, you called, Miss Amos?” He asked me.
“It’s… Cadance.” I said. No point in trying to keep denying it anymore, I suppose. “I… I think I’m ready to leave now.” I explained, giving Celestia a small nuzzle in gratitude. “She’s done a lot for me.”
“Oh? What was it you did?” She’s looking a lot better now.” The doctor asked.
“Oh, you know. Magic.” Celestia replied with a smirk, earning an amused eyeroll from the doctor.
“Well, seeing a group of talking, winged unicorns and a pegasus with pastel colors here, I suppose I can throw the usual approach and accept that…” He said. “If you’re certain, then I suppose I can let you go, to wherever it is you feel you need to be; my gut’s telling me there’s a lot more to this then people disappearing and becoming ponies… which I swear sounds like something a twisted fan of the show would come up with.” The doctor said, though with a look on his face as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Admittedly in his place, neither would I. “Miss… Celestia, is it?” He asked, looking over at her. “Sorry, I don’t know much more from what my daughter watches… Thank you.”
“It was my pleasure.” Celestia replied. “I couldn’t let my niece suffer like this after all.”
With that, the doctor raised up his clipboard and took out a cured stamp from his pocket and placed it on the file, handing it to me after. With no hands to carry it, I simply took it in my teeth. “Alright, I assume you all know where the door is.” The doctor said. “Try to avoid letting the other patients see you… it may be counteractive to their recovery.”
“You mean they could think they are crazy seeing a group of pastel ponies walking by?” The pink filly asked. The doctor did his best to hide his amusement at the question, and most likely the mental image, but was not too successful at it.
“I just don’t want to take any chances.” He said. With a nod, we went past him and down the halls cautiously, him following us to cover our departure. At long last, we reached the door and left together, Dr. Murphy giving me my supplies I’d had with me in my messenger bag and bidding us one last farewell wave before the doors closed.
Getting outside, I slid my file into the bag where my laptop and wallet and a few other personal effects were and was greeted by the wonderful smell of the open outdoors. Somehow, it felt better then it ever had in my life, I had to admit! “You know,” I said. “It’s funny, I’ve never been too much of an outdoorsy person. But I’m really loving the smell of fresh air right now!”
“Neither was I.” Celestia admitted. “I spent most of my time growing up playing video games.”
“What, I was the only one who enjoyed the outside world before we went back into our pony form?” The filly protested.
I rubbed my chin with my forehoof, there were at least two possible reasons behind this. “Either it’s the pony part of me, or being confined to a tiny white cell for almost a week.” I don’t know how much Cadance spent her time outdoors, given she was a minor character on the show, but as ponies in general seemed to often be seen outside during the daytime it was certainly possible that it gave me a new appreciation for it. Or, alternatively, I could chalk it up to cabin fever from being in a nuthouse.
“Oh yeah. Being stuck in an asylum for days…” The filly replied. I’d need to get her name at some point, in all the confusion I’d forgotten to ask.
“Yeah, though I do have this weird urge to just wanna... run in circles a few times, or fly.” I said, my mood finally improved for the first time in a good while. Still, there was some place I needed to go first. Alice was sure to be worried about me, and her being a big fan of the show and living closest to here she seemed the logical choice to go to first. “Well, we'd probably have to fly to get to my friend's place. Good thing we all have wings…” I looked up at the sky and a new idea for how to get there quickly came to mind. “It’s cloudy out… I’ve never tried riding a cloud before.”