Hello... Not Super-Stallion here again. You may call me Firebird or firebirdabirdoffire. After the MASSIVE success of my previous guest story (Nightmawe's Night! Nightmawe's Nightmare!), (I mean at least one whole people liked it (Incorrect grammar is intentional),) I asked if I could write another one. He basically answered it with something that boils down to "*Yawn...* Wussah? Sure why not?", he did not say that for clarification, but the results pretty much the same. Without further ado. Here's Puny Pony Pirates of the Luna Sea!
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Once again in Nightmare and Blueblood's room, they were having a sleepover. It's not as exciting as you think it is, only Rainbow, Lightning, Onyx, Nightmare and Punchbag were there. I mean Blueblood, sorry typo. It was kinda boring to be honest.
"So," Lightning started. "why did we have a sweepover again?"
"Because they weawned to say pwease." Rainbow said.
"Do you guys have anything fun to do?" Onyx asked.
"I'm gwad you finalwy asked." Nightmare said. She pulled out a crystal ball from underneath her pillow.
"What's that?" Rainbow asked.
"I got this of a fwea market. This is a special cwystaw baww, it can dweam. With bwank one you can cweate a wowld for youwsewf. But this one has is alweady used. We can explowe it in ouw dweams. We might even even adept to it. All we have to do is sweep next to it within a metew ow so."
"Sounds awesome, can we explowe it?" Onyx said.
"That's my intention. I have no idea of what to expect. Once in thewe, wait untiw evewypony is inside. And then we'ww get things stawted."
"Everypony twy to sweep now, we'll see what happens next."
Meanwhile, in Discord and Kit's apartment. Discord and Kit were air penguin surfing in the air while watching their all seeing TV. "Hey Kit," Discord said to his partner in crime. "you know what I like while air penguin surfing and watching TV? Badminton." He said flatly, he suddenly had a salmon and a battery in his paw and talon.
"You're on. Hey what are those foals doing?"
"Let's rewind that." They watched the thing. "A dream crystal huh? I have seen one since I broke Celestia's, in which was a small town where she's just a Pegasus and with a normal life."
"Shall we invade?"
"Of course! Shall we drag someone along?"
"Sure, why not? How about three?"
"Sounds great."
"Okay then," Discord dragged a fortune wheel out of nowhere. It had 9 slots, they read Sombra, Night--Mist, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sky Hooves, Chop Chop Master Onion, firebirdabirdoffire, Gilgamesh, Crystal Shard and Gruntilda Winkybunion. "wheel of kidnapping I sway, sway, sway. Who should put in possible danger today?" The wheel stood in place, the thing around turned. It stopped.
"Of course it picked me. Why am I on this wheel anyways? I'm sadly already work you two." Firebird asked.
"We created this wheel before Sky Hooves, Night--Mist and you came to Equestria." Discord explained as he spun again, twice. "Hmm..."
"What a coincidence..."
Everypony was napping. Partially thanks to Discord's magic. Discord, Kit and their 'companion' were sitting against the wall, being invisible. They resisted a little while longer, they did that so they might have the element of surprise on their side.
On a relatively small island, in a ocean. "Whewe awe we?" Onyx asked.
"This reminds me of one of those town in those weiwd Daring Do comics for kids," Rainbow said. "Nightmawe, you've been technicawwy awive fow ages, what does this wemind you of?"
"Let's see, it weminds me of a piwate amusement pawk, a lacking one at that." Nightmare said pointing a the seahorse see-saw, restroom, the harbor, the inactive pirate animatronic, the trees, a vending machine (with unlimited free drinks), sand, float wings and inner tubes for foals, two boats, a costume room, a changing room and a don't litter sign.
"I dun wike this." Blueblood said. "I nevew wiked piwate stowies to begin with. Stupid bwutes. How do I wake up?"
"You have to wake up natuwawwy, see something so awful that you awake with shock, I won't teww about the third method that wet's you wake up youwself, though. Not untiw we had mowe than enough." Nightmare said evilly.
"In layman's tewms she says that you need to be mowe of a stawwion, Bwuey." Lightning Dust said. Blueblood was not amused.
Onyx poked the inactive brown stallion animatronic, much to his shock it began to move. "Yar there me chil... Ye be not me children."
"What?" Everypony was confused.
"My real self created this blasted world as a birthday present for me kids, and you appear. How long have I be inactive?"
"Awound what yeaw has this wowld been been cweated?" Nightmare was the mare for this job, besides Onyx she could probably hold this conversation without ending on negative terms, strangely enough.
"Methinks 'round the year 538."
"Gwacious! That's awound five hundwed yeaws ago!!" Blueblood shouted.
"Weawwy?" Lighting questioned. "Not that I paid that much attention at schoowl or anything, but I'm pwetty suwe piwacy ceased to be in the yeaw 480."
"Hmmm, he's most wikewy tawking about the yeaws before banishment, wet me think... So, Mr.?"
"Plunder Bunny." Most snorted in laughter. The animatronic didn't have eyes to roll.
"Mr. Plundew Bunny," Nightmare continued, she's not above laughing, but she didn't, you never know what you can get from situations like this. "you've been inactive since 200 B.B., that's about 1200 yeaws."
"What?! Me kids... never got the chance to play in this expensive world I created." His voice chip sounded depressed. "Do any of ye incredible infants know why?"
Nightmare's turn to speak again. "The owd mawe who sowd it to me on the fwea mawket towd me that she found it covewed in dust in the fowgotten basement of the maiw office."
The machine sighed. "Ye might as well play in it, I mean, who else is gonna use this thing?"
"Coow." Onyx said. "Can we saiw a boat?"
"On second though foals shouldn't set sail, without inner tubes that is. But even then..." Plunder long gave up on his accent.
"This might sound cwazy, but we'we actuawwy aduwts wegwessed to the age of infants." Nightmare explained nonchalantly. "Except fow Bwuebwood, he's always been a cwy baby."
"HEY!!"
"Did you say Blueblood?!" Plunder observed the prince. "Hmm. Obviously not arch-nemesis and my killer; Blueblood IV. Which one are you?"
"The thirteenth, sir." Blueblood was shaking.
"Well, I was gonna give you the most dangerous treasure hunt, but seeing how unlike you're are compared to your ancestor, you don't have a spine so even the easiest hunt would be satisfying my revenge. You kids are gonna sail the Luna Sea (named after my favorite empress,) to find treasure." He pulled out a map. "It's on hidden on the known as "Vous pris la peine de traduire cette" or in Equish known as "The Island of the ancient doohickey..." or 'Doohickey Island' for short. It has a surprise, something you wouldn't expect." He pointed in the direction of the costume room. "Pick any clothing item ye like and also pick any weapon ye like. Don't worry, we only have foam weapons and squirt guns. AND don't forget the stuff that prevents you foals from drowning!"
The foals chanced into their costumes, Nightmare wore the fancy pirate hat with a skull and cross bones stitched on, a dark purple long coat, a white shirt and long pants. Her weapon of choice: A foam sable, It kinda looks a moon. She also picked a squirt blunderbuss gun.
Onyx had a simple attire, just a sleeveless black vest and a polka dot bandanna. He didn't need a weapon, but he did take a foam cutlass. The idea of a sword duel did appeal him.
Rainbow wore a red coat, an eye-patch on her left eye and a black beard. She took a small plastic dagger, she felt competent in this short ranged weapon.
Lightning did the same as Rainbow, just no beard and the eye-patch on a different eye.
Blueblood picked nothing besides a pistol and a hand cannon (that shoots water balloon), just in case.
"Wow, good choice." Plunder said. "You're taking the Howling Moon." He pointed at the light blue ship. "Unless you want the nameless pink Celestia based one."
"You weally seem to wike the pwincesses don't you?" Nightmare smirked.
"They were my adoptive aunts, but that's a boring story." He said fast and dismissively. "I like you, Luna looking one, you're the captain, no questions."
"Thank you, come with me my crew." Nightmare said proudly, the rest grumbled as they said sail.
"What a nice bunch." At times like this he wished that he dreamed up mouth articulation so he could smile. Suddenly a heavenly colored light appeared in the middle of the island. "D-does this mean more guests?" The light disappeared. His sight became a little blurry, but he did see the shape of two infant ponies with strangely colored bandannas, one was brown the other was white. The third shape was almost as tall as the foals, and judging by the way he glows, he's obviously a phoenix. The other two were so tall it isn't funny, one did look familiar.
"Discord?" Plunder said.
"My, Plunder. So this is where you've been, no wonder Haydes never found your soul."
"You were looking for me?"
"Well I lost a card game with your kids once, seven years after you were declared dead, they won so they requested me to bring you back for Hearth's Warming Eve. I gave up after Haydes said you never arrived. So I gave them human gloves instead."
Plunder Bunny was paralyzed. And Discord's three little henchmen stood there cross eyed, wide eyed, dumbfounded and cross eyed.
"You gave ponies a five fingered glove," Firebird face palmed. "you're despicable, you know that right?"
"Not to mention a monstew, you couwd've given them something much mowe meaningfuw!" Mist followed up on.
"If onwy we had his powew..." Sky lamented.
"I was worse back then." Discord said in his defense.
"I doubt if there's a difference." Firebird said. "Hello, Mr. robo pirate, are you there?"
"Wha? Oh, yeah... What are you doing here, Discord? Has it something to do with those foals who just left?"
"Yeah, we're taking care of them. We just fell asleep later then them." That was Kit's excuse.
Plunder had some laughter to suppress. "Discord: the spirit of chaos, is their baby sitter. What has the world come to?"
"Where can we find them?" Firebird asked.
"Oh they have a one of a kind sea chart. BUT I have different chart here that leads to the same treasure, not only that, if you hurry you might cross paths if ye hurry."
"We'll take it!" Discord said.
"Good. There's your ship." The robot pointed.
"...It's pink!" Firebird muttered, the foals shared his disgust.
"How come you don't have an eye patch, or peg wegs?" Night Mist asked.
"I was just that good of a pirate." The implausible thing said.
"Ha! You died by a gun to his head by Blueblood the fourth. Even back then his lineage was pathetic, Bluey IV is such a bad shot the bullet missed. But the clicking sound shocked Plunder Bunny to death!" Discord, the other implausible thing said.
"Yet you got defeated by a embarrassing magical beam of highly concentrated beam of painful friendship, twice." Firebird sarcasmed, making the foals and the puppet laugh. "It wasn't that funny..."
"On the contrary, Firebird." Discord said. "I found it so funny that you're promoted from almost all-purpose lackey to almost all-purpose lackey/parrot substitute."
"Joy." Firebird sighed, he looks at the ship again. "It's still pink."
"Go to the changing rooms now, there are clothes and child friendly weapons."
Discord chose a bandana, a pink vest with green polka dots, two peg legs, an eye patch on the skull of his and a pirate hook... ... ... for his tail. Can't decide if that's awesome or not. He didn't need a weapon, because he has a perfectly good roast chicken.
Kit just a vest, a long sword and a grappling hook.
The nondentical twins, Sky Hooves and Night Mist, on top of already wearing bandannas now wore red pants, Sky Hooves had two pistols, Night Mist had two swords. How a pony holds two at the time is anyone's guess.
Firebird, being the strategist he isn't was slightly smart with his choices, everybody loves bandanas he was no exception, a vest, pants and a monocle. Okay Discord forced that costume choice upon him, he only wanted the bandana. But he took a sword, a water pistol, a spyglass, and a grappling hook. In other words he played the teams musketeer. He basically wondered why the rest didn't do the same. Too bad he's clumsy.
"Sure glad I don't look stupid in this." Firebird sarcastically said.
"Ye look like ye're ready to set sail." Plunder looked at the brothers. "What's wrong with the foals? They have this glassy look in their eyes."
"It's a new type of contact lenses." Kit lied.
"Alright than. Hop aboard."
"I dub this ship based on my dear Celestia; 'Overceighkedt'. Just like the real thing." Discord said as he slammed champagne against the ship.
They set sail, Discord and Kit took turns sailing, Sky and Night wandered around and to the side of them was Firebird leaning against the ship's rail looking at them Island disappearing in the distance.
"Wait, did that robot explain stuff to us, or anything useful that helps us navigate for that matter?" Firebird asked the foals.
"No, I don't so, Fiwebiwd." Sky Hooves replied.
"Great, an adventure with little direction, probably takes unexpected turns too."
"Sounds fun." Night Mist said.
"No it doesn't Mr. Night Mist, it reminds me of how write things." Firebird said. "Here lies Ferdinand 'Firebird' Falcon, his flames doused on a ship destined to sink, that wouldn't be so embarrassing if the ship wasn't STILL PINK!!!!"
Go to the next chapter to see exciting or unciting hero story.
Skip the next chapter if you want the crabby or happy dark story first.
Starring:
Hero Story Dark Story
Nightmare Moon
as The Self Proclaimed Pirate Queen of the Night: Nightmare Moon.
Discord
as Co-Captain Discord
Anonymous AKA Super-Stallion
as Onyx AKA Super-Stallion
as Second Mate Onyx AKA Super-Stallion
Kit
as Co-Captain Kit
Rainbow Dash
as The Look Out and Combat Specialist: Rainbow "Spyglass" Dash
Anonymous 2 AKA Sky Hooves
as Sky Hooves
as Brainwashed Pirate 1 (Sky Hooves)
Lightning Dust
as Navigator and Combat Specialist: Lightning "Lookout" Dust
Anonymous 3 AKA Night--Mist
as Night Mist
as Brainwashed Pirate 2 (Night Mist)
Blueblood
as Privateer Blue Pansy XIII
Anonymous 4 AKA firebirdabirdmadeoutoffire
as Firebird A. Bird of Fire AKA Ferdinand "Firebird" Falcon
as the regrettably almost all-purpose lackey.
Choose wisely, they are equally dangerous. Take that as you will.