After leaving my bag behind, I went back into town with Rarity to her boutique in order to get sized. The rest of the group had followed me for a bit until they eventually split off to go home. Well, everyone except Twilight Sparkle. Apparently she really took that ‘keeping an eye on me’ thing seriously. Well, at least more serious than others anyway. Still, the three of us made it to the boutique in short order.
I hadn’t been to Rarity’s place the last time I was there. It is kind of an interesting setup. The whole building looks like it’s made out of cloth, but it actually is just a normal building wrapped up with fabric. It’s a good thing too because being able to support an entire two or three story structure with just some kind of fabric would have just been nuts, magic or no magic.
The inside was pretty interesting from a purely business like standing. You had the showroom floor when you came in. It had several racks with clothing of all sorts. Most of them were formal wear, but there were also a few casual pieces here and there. There was also a couple of raised platforms for examining clothing when trying it on. There were also a couple of mannequins with an outfit on them as a display for those who were interested in seeing some of her works or some other reason I probably wasn’t thinking of.
I was going to take a look at some of the other rooms, but I was stopped by Rarity before I had the chance to.
“Now that you’re here, I want to get you sized as soon as possible. Please remove your clothes and stand over here darling.”
I froze faster than a deer caught in headlights. Sure, I knew about the fact that ponies didn’t have any issue going without clothes. After all, they have fur covering their bodies to keep themselves at an even temperature in most weather. Because of that, they didn’t end up developing the social stigma to go along with wearing clothing at all times. Humans are a different story. Without much in the way of hair or fur we developed the need to wear clothes in order to keep ourselves warm or cool depending on the environment. By doing so, we did develop those habits and issues that went along with wearing clothes.
Now, I really wish that I had used that argument and explained it rationally to the two ponies present. Unfortunately, it came out sounding more like this:
“I’m not about to get naked for a couple of girls!”
Yep. That’s about what I said. Not only did I come across as a blithering idiot, I know full well that if the situation were different then yes I would get naked for a couple of girls. I think you all get the connotations of what I mean.
“Oh don’t be so concerned,” said Rarity. “I won’t tell anypony your measurements.”
“As a human male, I demand my right to keep my modesty intact! I wouldn’t ask you ladies to spread your legs and show me something would I?”
The gasps I got told me I may have gone too far.
“Okay, sorry. Not the best example and it was a bit vulgar. I apologize for that. But seriously, I’d rather not show off two a couple of females especially considering that they… well… actually, I‘ve got nothing to follow that with, but my point remains steadfast!”
Holy crap that sounded lame.
“I… suppose I can understand what you are trying to convey,” said Rarity. “Still, it is the best way to take your measurements if I want to make a new ensemble for you to wear.”
Man, this was all so much easier last time I was here. Then again, magic. Honestly, it seems that magic was just some kind of good luck charm for me while I was here last. I didn’t have to change clothes, I didn’t feel all achy from my trips around everywhere. Yeah, magic solved a lot of my life problems.
Still, right now there wasn’t much in the way of wiggle room, so I tried a compromise.
“Can I at least keep my underwear on? It shouldn’t get in the way of your measurements. It doesn’t for tailors on Earth and I bet you’re just as good as they are.”
She seemed to ruffle a bit at hearing that. Despite that, she put on a brimming smile.
“I believe that should be adequate for this… endeavor,” she said a bit strained.
I think in hindsight I may have insulted her abilities. At the time, though, I didn’t notice. I was too relieved that I wasn’t about to flash a few ponies. After that, I was given a wall divider to block off my presence from the rest of the floor. From there, I somewhat hesitantly removed my clothes down to my underwear.
Now, I was still very uncomfortable as Rarity began to take my measurements. After all, she might be a different species, but she was still a sentient female. She was easily taking stock of me while she was doing her job. She never said a word during the entire thirty five minute process (yes it took that long, I’ve got a watch remember?), but I could still tell that she didn’t think very much of me at all. Well, she had reason to considering that I’m six feet tall and weighed 235 pounds. I wasn’t exactly the physical specimen of my species. I was an overweight tub with a full, yet a bit scraggly, beard, wearing glasses for my nearsightedness. Not to mention that I had been walking for a few hours and most likely stunk. Surprisingly, I was only a bit achy and my left leg from the knee down felt like it was triple the weight it should be. I honestly expected worse.
Now, I said that Rarity was silent throughout the process. Twilight, however, was a different story. She stayed on the other side of the divider since I think she wanted to respect my decision, but that didn’t stop her curiosity. During the time I was back there, she started asking questions like she did the last time I was here. I did ask why she hadn’t started on this earlier and she responded by telling me that the others had asked her to wait until they weren’t around. Apparently, Applejack and Rainbow Dash couldn’t care less about me. Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t mind one way or the other. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were the only two who were avidly interested in learning about me. Somehow, the former two of them convinced the others that it would be better to wait until later with some kind of argument that had worked well enough. However, Twilight had apparently held out long enough after my ‘from Earth’ statement and just had to start asking about me after things between Rarity and myself were settled.
Basically, I went over the same topics from last time. I was from Earth which was a different planet altogether. There were a lot of people there. We have many different races of our own. We speak a great many languages. We constantly butt heads with each other. I wasn’t sure if I felt nostalgic or bored with this conversation. In the end, I realized it was boredom.
“All finished!” exclaimed Rarity.
“Thank Celestia! That took far too long,” exclaimed Discord.
Wait, what!?!
I spun a bit and hanging out on top of one of the dress racks was Discord.
“You could have said something you know,” I told him.
“Oh please, like these ponies would be able to concentrate on anything with me around.”
“Touché, Discord. So why exactly are you here? I seriously doubt it’s because of my roguish good looks.”
I was little disheartened when both Discord and Rarity both took a greenish pallor. I briefly held out hope that Twilight didn’t do the same since I could see her from that angle.
“Please, even I went to a horrid place of thought at that remark,” Discord said after recovering.
“Oh come on-” I said before being interrupted by a shushing noise.
“Now isn’t the time,” I heard Twilight say. “What is it that you’re doing here Discord?”
Discord jumped off of the rack and to the floor and then put his hands behind his back.
“Come now Twilight, can’t I keep up with my brand new roomie for a bit?”
He quickly disappeared in a flash and then reappeared right next to me. As he did, he scooped me into a side hug.
“Why, I haven’t had anyone keeping me company in over a thousand years! It feels great to have someone with whom to keep me company or to pay half the utilities to say the least.”
“Have you even taken a look at the place we’re going to be staying at?”
“Not yet I haven’t,” he said looking at me incredulously. “Why do you ask? Are you disappointed that Equestria doesn’t have television or the internet?”
“While true, you might want to take a look at it yourself before you poke fun at my tastes.”
“Indeed,” said Rarity. “Why that place-”
“Sorry, but I think it would be better if Discord was surprised at what furnishings the place has,” I said interrupting her.
“Oh my, oh my, it almost sounds like there’s only one bed there. I hope that isn’t the case since the sounds of snoring would keep each of us awake,” he said with a chuckle.
“Don’t worry,” I said coyly. “That’s not even an issue. Go on and see. You don’t have to wait for me.”
He disappeared in another flash and appeared inside one of Rarity’s mirrors.
“Very well. I shall go see this place that Celestia has sentenced us to. I’ll see you when you get home roomie!”
With that, he vanished in another flash.
“Why didn’t you tell him about the abhorrent conditions of your domicile?”
“And miss out on the thought of having him choke on his own words? Perish the thought. He was making fun of me for something trivial. Just the thought of him having to eat his own words makes me feel better about the situation.”
“That sounds a bit petty,” I heard Twilight say.
“Maybe so, but can you honestly say that you’ve never wanted to see him at a loss for words?” I asked as I started to get dressed.
“I’d rather not say,” she replied sheepishly.
I dropped the subject as I sat down and continued to get dressed.
“Frankly speaking, the designs for your new clothes should be done tomorrow, and the outfits themselves should be ready the next day. Princess Celestia asked that I make a rush on them and I feel quite inspired to do so as well.”
“That’s nice, thank you, but could you make them about as loose around the collar as what I’m wearing now? My neck area is pretty sensitive.”
“I suppose I can accommodate your request. Though, if I make anything formal that will have to be disregarded.”
“Um, okay I guess. I don’t really think I’ll be going to anything fancy enough for that though.”
“There is the next Grand Galloping Gala coming in a few days. You could always attend that,” said Twilight. “Or you could attend the next Summer Sun Celebration which is a few weeks after that. If Princess Celestia is correct, you should still be here for both occasions.”
“I can’t stand fancy get-togethers. I’m pretty much a wallflower anyway.”
I finished getting dressed and stood back up.
Which is about the moment that Discord reappeared in a flash.
“I must say that I may have misjudged you a little, kid.”
Kid? Ugh, just let it go. He’s got way more age on me and can say things like that.
“I take it you don’t really like the place?” I asked a bit bemused.
“I might like it if there was something in there to like! I suppose some redecorating is in order.”
“I hope that it won’t be anything like Fluttershy’s place when you were there.”
“Oh come now! We both know that I don’t like using the same trick twice. That would be boring.”
“Nor would it be true chaos either,” I added.
In a move I truly wasn’t expecting, he reached out and scooped me up into a hug. I couldn’t even feel the ground under my feet. I think I also heard crying?
“It’s like-*sniff*-you know the real me.”
I was going to say something, but I caught a glimpse of the absolutely stunned look on Rarity and just decided to wait the whole thing out. A few moments later, Discord literally dropped me. I stumbled a little, but avoided falling down. I was going to ask why he did that, but the fact that there was a lit bulb floating over his head kept me quiet.
“Now there is an idea! I think I will redecorate our new place!”
“Well, Rarity had offered to-”
“Oh what does Rarity know about designing a house anyway?”
For the record, I can’t feel murderous intent. Still, I didn’t have to be able to do that in order to feel the raw hatred that seemed to be radiating from Rarity at that moment. The fact that her coat had turned from white to red simply drove the point home.
“I shall await your return to our new home! I’m sure you’ll love it!” he exclaimed and disappeared in a flash.
Despite the fact that Discord had left, Rarity still looked to have murder on the brain. Just about when it seemed she was ready to burst, Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. It seemed to work well enough. Rarity took a look at her, closed her eyes, and took a calming breath. Slowly, her coat turned back to normal and her regular sophisticated self took over once again.
“No matter what it takes, I am going to make him pay for that remark. Mark my words!”
“I think I’ll take Seth back to his home by myself if you don’t mind,” stated Twilight.
Before Rarity could reply, Twilight went ahead and teleported the both of us outside of Rarity’s boutique.
“That seemed a little excessive,” I said. “You could’ve just walked out you know.”
“Trust me. I doubt we could’ve talked her down after having her sense of style just dismissed like it was. If she came along with us and saw Discord there, I’m honestly not sure what she might do. Anyways, let’s head back to your house. It’s going to be getting dark soon.”
I simply nodded and we began the walk back to the house. Still, I was a bit uneasy at what awaited me when I returned. After all, Discord was remodeling the place. Who knows what his crazy brain might to do the place?