//------------------------------// // 5: In Which Equinity is Discovered, and a Nation Deceived // Story: Fallout: Equestria: Close Call // by ZIAT //------------------------------// Chapter 5: In Which Equinity is Discovered, and a Nation Deceived “Rursus prosperum ac felix scelus virtus vocatur; sontibus parent boni, ius est in armis, opprimit leges timor.” "Once again prosperous and successful crime goes by the name of virtue; good men obey the bad, might is right and fear oppresses law." -Seneca the Younger, Hercules Furens A little bit about religion in Stable 81: there was none. At least, not at first. Those first stable inhabitants knew that while nearly omnipotent in their magical prowess, there weren’t necessarily Goddesses. They didn’t create the world, and had little actual effect on anywhere outside of Equestria-the war being a prime example. In any case, the diligent ponies of Stable 81 didn’t pay much mind to the Goddesses/Princesses Celestia and Luna. Our focus was on the evil Zebra Empire and her allies. That was the extent to which religion had permeated our minds. Now, over time, there had been talk of the Goddesses coming to bring us back out into civilization, and there return would be heralded by…something. I couldn’t honestly remember; nopony in the stable paid much attention to such talk. But, I’m rambling again. Point being, when me, my kidnapper, a random Zebra, and two relics from the armed forces of a nation which hadn’t existed for at least two hundred years are commanded telepathically by a being calling herself the Goddess, I was starting to honestly wonder if my life could become any more surreal. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Out of all the times for them to show up!” Paladin Gun Bunny cursed loudly, ignoring the Zebra pointing a laser rifle at her faceplate. I looked around, no longer wondering if I were the only one to hear the voices. The only wonder was what to do about them. “Oya, could you search these safes for the declaration?” I asked, “I wanna see what this ‘Goddess’ thing is all about.” The Zebra nodded and set off, picking and opening safes at random. I began to make my way back out of the vault, only to be stopped by a heavily armored (and armed) mare. “No. No no no no no. That is not a good idea.” Knight Honey Heart protested, waving her hooves in the air and shaking her head. “Let us take care of them; this is a Steel Ranger matter.” “She’s right. At least, the not-good-idea part. The Goddess is nothing you wanna fuck with. The best thing to do is hide and hope they move on. Or let these two kill themselves trying to fight them. Either one works for me.” Sunny added. Paladin Gun Bunny nickered. “Well said, Knight Heart. You, tribal, are a coward and an idiot. We don’t need tribals meddling in our affairs…any more than they already have.” She replied, glaring(?) at Sunny. “Them?” I inquired, “I thought there was only one Goddess? The voice only mentioned one.” Although I had been mentally assaulted by the sound of scores of ponies, they spoke as one-or rather, spoke as one as well as what could have only been thousands of separate ponies could speak as one. And I couldn’t help but wonder what affairs these Steel Rangers could possibly have with a Goddess. Were the Rangers that important in this shattered world? Then why had I never heard of them before a couple hours ago? “OUR PATIENCE GROWS THIN, PONIES! BRING OUT THE ONE KNOWN AS THE EGGHEAD! WE KNOW HE IS IN THERE! COME OUT, AND WE MAY ADD YOU TO UNITY INSTEAD OF MERELY KILLING YOU!” Well, that solved that. “Well, I guess that solves that. Shall we?” I asked. Gun Bunny just sighed, and together we headed back upstairs. * * * I don’t know what the Goddess or Unity was, but I had to admit, if these three…ponies were it, then the Goddess and/or Unity was hot. And huge. Three winged unicorns stood before we four mere ponies, elegant, regal, and at least a head and a half taller than us. Sleek black coats glistened in what sunlight broke through the eternal could cover, breaking over very toned flanks-blank ones, oddly enough! Before I could do anything but briefly wonder about how three blank-flanked winged unicorns came to exist, they again “spoke” as one. “FEAR NOT, MY LITTLE PONIES! THE GODDESS DOES NOT WISH YOUR DEMISE TODAY, WE ONLY WANT THE PONY KNOWN AS EGGHEAD!” “Wait, I know this language! It’s the Royal Canterlot Voice!” I exclaimed. Three avatars of forgotten royalty and here was my first chance to make a good impression! From the way my companions reacted to their commands, these three were obviously the rulers of this land, or rather, representatives of the ruler-this “Goddess”. The Steel Rangers must be a rebel faction, which is why they’re so hostile toward each other! I had a hard time figuring out why Gun Bunny was facehoofing, but it was most likely because she knew I had just figured out what was really going on! It still didn’t explain the feeling of an orange pony facehoofing while her cyan friend laughed. I strode forward, clearing my throat. “HAIL, NOBLE EMISSARIES!” I shouted, “I AM THE ONE YOU SEEK. MY NAME IS CLOSE CALL, AND I WAS SENT HERE FROM STABLE 81 IN ORDER TO MAKE CONTACT WITH YOU, O DISTINGUISHED PONIES!” Our three visitors exchanged looks, and in my mind I could hear them talking amongst themselves. “This is the Egghead?” “It must be, he has the glasses and everything.” “But this one’s an idiot; Unity will gain nothing from him.” “We seek the Lost Ones, and we now know that they seek him. The Egghead is inconsequential beyond that.” Wait… “YOU WILL COME WITH US, EGHEAD.” They resumed, filling all five of my senses with a cacophony of their voices, “WE SHALL HOLD YOU AND THE LOUD ONE CAPTIVE WITH US UNTIL THE LOST ONES FIND YOU. ONCE WE ARE DONE WITH THEM, WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO JOIN US IN UNITY!” “The hell you will!” Came my companion’s own declaration. Dammit, Sunny, I’m trying to be diplomatic over here! Maybe learn something! Yet in the next few seconds I learned more than I would have in conversation because of her outburst. First, I learned (rather, re-learned) that artillery is very, very loud. Taking a cue from Sunny, Paladin Gun Bunny unleashed the fury of her battle saddle upon the Goddess’ envoys. A shell easily half the size of me tore through the first winged unicorn’s midsection, splitting it in half as the round continued through the second one as well. I found myself splattered with blood and bits of gore, and given nary a chance to revile in it as the shell exploded, launching me hard back into the outer wall of the ministry behind me. My body, already abused, exploded in pain as I fell upon the ruined porch. My ears rang; I could barely make out the gentle and deadly purr of Gun Bunny’s battle saddle-it sounded as though it were coming from a great distance, and blended quite nicely with the ringing which was also assaulting my eardrums. I blinked, trying to bring the world back into focus. My vision cleared all too slowly, images almost flickering across my mind. The dust on the battlefield and the dust in my head began to settle, and what I saw (or rather, could see) astounded me: The last winged unicorn stood unharmed, surrounded by a glowing green shield. The artillery shell that had obliterated two of the offenders had exploded against this third one’s shield! A part of my mind struggled to comprehend how a being such as this could exist, how something could have magic powerful enough to stop what would have normally leveled a building. That part was quickly shoved violently into a corner and beaten with hoses by the other parts of my mind, which occupied themselves by screaming various iterations of ohcelestiaitcan’tbekilledohcelestiaandlunaabovewe’regoingtodie in just about every language I knew. Through the waning ring in my ears I could hear Sunny cursing, Honey Heart groaning, and Gun Bunny reloading. Was she really going to take another shot?! After the fuck-all the first one did?! I didn’t think the rest of us could take another close-range blast like that anyway! “She’s a Steel Ranger-she couldn’t give two shits about whoever’s attached to a piece of tech, or what she has to do to get it, only that there’s technology, and she wants it.” Sunny had explained not a few hours earlier. With a flash I realized that Gun Bunny honestly did not car whether we lived or died. Hell, it probably made her job that much easier. The beast’s horn flashed, a bolt of light striking Gun Bunny in the chest. I don’t know what spell that was, but the outspoken Steel Ranger Paladin managed only to fire another round from her cannon as she fell to the ground. The shot went wide of the creature, taking down what was left of a coffee shop behind it. The Ranger lay still-she could have been sleeping. “Motherfucker!” Honey Heart screamed, unleashing a barrage of laser fire that had about as much effect as the artillery shell. Soon enough there was a pop, and the fire stopped. She’d run out of ammunition, if laser rifles took ammunition. Sunny’s own mirrored sentiment didn’t do much else. The only thing they accomplished was pissing the creature off. “INSOLENT RANGERS!” She mentally screamed, “WE CAME HERE IN PEACE, BUT NOW YOU HAVE BROUGHT DEATH UPON YOU!” I cowered under the multitude of voices which continued to posture and threaten, fearing for my new friends’ lives. But then another voice spoke in my mind, drowning out the others: Be Strong A second joined it: Be Awesome And together they gave me an idea. A probably suicidal idea, but an idea nonetheless. The creature’s attention was on Knight Heart and Sunny, her shield still shimmering in the twilight. Slowly, I picked myself up and stepped forward. “Stop!” I shouted, approaching the remnants of the worst welcoming committee ever, “I’ll go, just don’t hurt them…” “Hey, dickhead!” Sunny responded with all the eloquence she could muster, “You’re not going anywhere! Way I see it, you cost me five grand, so you owe me five grand. Don’t you dare try and shit out on me!” Good to know you care, Sunny. The Goddess’ emissary actually grinned at this, lowering her shield. “WISE DECISION, MY LITTLE PONY. YOU WILL COME WITH US TO SEE THE GODDESS. THERE MAY EVEN BE HOPE FOR YOU IN UNITY!” I wasn’t paying attention, however-I’d begun moving as soon as the shield was down. Even with their spells, wings, horns, and mind-speaking, they were still ponies, right? Biologically, or at least anatomically, they had to still essentially be ponies, right? It was this assumption that drove me underneath her (and not in the fun way), sliding on my back and kicking at where her legs met her body in a series of fluid motions. The momentum of my slide carried me out from under her just in time for her to collapse. Praying that my next assumption was correct as well, I struck at her neck, and mentally cheered as it too fell to the ground. A cyan pegasus was dancing in excitement in my mind, proclaiming how awesome that had been, as I turned to Sunny and Honey Heart. “Is it…dead?” the speaker-filtered, yet still sorrow-filled voice asked. I began to answer when the creature answered for me. “HOW DARE YOU, YOU IMPUDENT WORM!” Screamed a thousand voices as their vessel tried to move. “Paralyzed.” I answered simply (and more quietly). It was the same technique I’d used on a raider outside of New Falmalla-this…thing would be unable to move for close to an hour, at least. Hopefully. Or, you could reload your weapons and shoot it in the face. I guessed that worked too. * * * “Do you still live, Close Call of Stable 81? I heard explosions.” Came the exotic voice of my striped companion. She’d acquired the Declaration; at least, I assumed the ancient-looking parchment rolled up in an equally ancient-looking seal was what was tucked behind her ear. “Yes, and somehow, I can still hear.” I responded, gently taking the parchment and placing it in my saddlebags. Now we just needed to get it back to Curator, and then onward to where his information took us, if it took us anywhere. Really, a pony would be inclined to think that the aged museum curator knew exactly what he was sending us into. But I could ask him about that when I saw him. Right now, there were more pressing matters to attend to. “What will you do now?” I asked Knight Honey Heart of the Steel Rangers. She didn’t answer right away-she only knelt next to her fallen comrade, silent. Her faceplate emotionless, Knight Heart’s very being still radiated the deepest sadness I had ever (even tangentially) experienced. It was enough that I felt the need to say something, anything… “Tó̱ra gia na katavrochthízoun flóges eínai af̱tá mia leía; Áchri̱sto gia séna, apó af̱tó to kataraméno méra! O̱stóso, as i̱ thysía touláchiston prépei na katavli̱theí, Mia timí̱ i̱ zo̱í̱, den eínai o nekrós…” And with that, I, too, fell silent. With all immediate threats eliminated, I felt safe enough to stay in one place for a while. Sunny, however, did not. “Hey, I know this is sad and everything, but could we get moving? I’d really prefer to be gone before more of her alicorn friends show up.” Is that what they were called? “Sunny…” I began, actually facehoofing, before being interrupted by our armored acquaintance. Honey Heart stood, and spoke with a heavy sigh: “No…she’s right…” She said, choking on her words, “The Goddess will send reinforcements soon. We were lucky to eliminate these three in the first place. You three…” Heart sighed again, as if contemplating something that shook her very core, and continued, “You three go do whatever you were going to do. I need to get…I need to relay this new development to higher.” * * * “So what was all that back there?” Sunny asked, even her voice at this point alien to me. We were coming up on Harbor, having stayed mostly silent on the trip back. There was the fear of attracting anymore of those alicorn things, as well as I myself not being very talkative. The journey back I spent deep in my own thoughts; Paladin Gun Bunny’s death was far from the first one I’d ever seen, but it had been one of only two deaths on ponies I actually knew. Yet even this reflection of mortality was still locked in a bitter cerebral melee with my astonishment at seeing a living, breathing, alicorn. According to Stable 81’s records of Equestria, there were only three known alicorns, even if they weren’t referred to as such: the Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Mi Amore Cadenza (more colloquially known as Cadence). Nopony knew exactly how these three came to be, if there were more of them before, or if knew ones would ever appear, and thus they were the subject of much research by fringe elements. Any research they managed to complete, however, didn’t make it to my stable’s archives. Stable 81 was a Zebra research stable, after all. So it was left to question: were my potential (new) kidnappers genuine alicorns, or merely poor copies created by magical radiation? I found Sunny’s question was easier to answer. “What do you mean?” I questioned. “Well, aside from a plan which I never would’ve believed came from you-” Hey! “-I’m asking what was that mumbo jumbo you were saying? When you were talking to the Ranger bitch?” “You mean Knight Heart?” “Whoever. Just answer the question?” I shrugged. “It comes from an ancient Zebra dialect called Galician. Not Cowhili, but closer to Pre-Roaman. Anyway, there’s a story in that culture about a great war, and that passage was from the death of one of its most celebrated warriors.” We stopped in front of the warehouse which served as Harbor’s museum as I finished my explanation. Sunny pushed open the door, shaking her head as if disappointed. “Goddesses, you are such an egghead.” * * * “You got it! It’s actually here! I-I-I can’t believe you were actually able to locate it!” At the sight of our hard-earned prize, Curator displayed an energy and vigor more suitable to a much younger stallion. With the way he positively danced about like a schoolfilly, I was honestly afraid he was going to break something. Seriously, I thought I could hear his hip creaking from here. At the same time, I couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm; in him I found a passion most ponies in the Wasteland reserved for murdering and/or raping each other. On another note, I had shit to do, and we had a deal. “Yes, yes, we got it…Now you said you had some information for us?” I asked. Curator abruptly recomposed himself, still smiling widely. “Yes. Well, let’s not rush things, shall we, Mr. Egghead-er, Mr. Call?” He began to explain, “I’m sure you and your friends-“ “We’re not friends” Sunny interjected from afar, inspecting the Steel Ranger display as if expecting it to come alive and demand all of her technology. “-Ahem. Well, I am sure you all are quite tired from your endeavors, and I need to find a proper frame for this. So how about you all turn in for the night, and we’ll parley tomorrow, hmm? I’ve reserved top notch rooms at Harbor’s finest hotel for you.” I groaned. I didn’t like it-I really wanted to get going-but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I did have a thought, however, as we made our way to the door: “Hey!” I called, opening one of the pockets on my bandoleer and setting it on the floor before him, “I found a bunch of these as well. An…acquaintance told us they were memory orbs, but I don’t know much about how to view them. Would you-“ Curator’s eyes lit up, that youthful vigor returning. “You found memory orbs?” he nearly squealed, snatching the globe up and examining it with crossed eyes. He continued on, mostly to himself, “Well of course, I knew the Ministry of Morale kept depositories, but not all the way out here…There must be a treasure trove, just waiting to be viewed! I can’t believe you found them!” He set it back on the floor, smiling back at me. “Memory orbs are very rare across the Wasteland; even moreso in Whinnyapolis. You and your friends-“ “We’re not friends.” Sunny, right on cue. “-were very lucky in finding these. Now, typically only unicorns can view them without assistance, but there are means by which us flat-headed ponies may view them as well. Have you ever heard of a recollector?” I shook my head no. “It’s a device which allows a non-unicorn to view memory orbs, and is almost as rare as the orbs themselves. I myself am in possession since you’ve done so much to further pony education, I suppose I could let you borrow it for the evening.” Now it was my turn to squee. * * * “At least there’s running water.” I noted, turning the sink on and off while my companions inspected the rest of the room. The top notch rooms at Harbor’s finest hotel were, in fact, trash. At least, they were trash to me, having lived in a mostly sterile stable my entire life. We were in another one of Harbor’s massive warehouses, this one converted into a residential space, with the living spaces separated via heavy canvas hung up on wires. Our room was ritzy in that it was in a corner, and thus had access to plumbing. Nonetheless, at this point I was happy for an actual mattress. Anything was better than the ground. “Are you going to use that all night, Close Call of Stable 81?” Oya asked, nodding towards my saddlebags. In them was the recollector Curator had told me about, a golden crown with a receptacle for memory orbs. Apparently all I had to do was focus on the thing on my head, and I’d be able to view another pony’s memories, easy as that. Oh, this was exciting! I shook my head. “Not all night, maybe only a couple. Curator said that it could take days to watch all of these orbs. I don’t want to starve to death while stuck in one. Also, I still have a mission to complete. While these definitely help with that, there’s still more to be done.” Oya just shrugged. With Sunny cleaning Chandrahasa, and Oya paging through a surprisingly intact magazine, I fished the recollector out of my bags, picked a memory orb at random, and prepared myself the best I could. oooOOOooo I wanted to scream. From what I could tell, my…host definitely had some extra appendages I wasn’t used to. The shock was only slightly lessened by the fact I had seen a pegasus a few days ago. The wings, however, were the least of my worries. Nay, while I had tried to prepare myself for a few differences, there was nothing that could have prepared me for the loss of my penis. It didn’t matter that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that me and all parts of me were fine, once you can’t feel such an integral organ, you go a little nuts. No pun intended. I was so distressed I nearly missed what my host was doing. She was reading a newspaper, the whole of her vision taken up by it. The headline, in bold black letters, read: QUARANTINE FOR WHINNYAPOLIS? AN INVESTIGATIVE REPORT BY GUM SHOE The report went on to mention something about a plague and a coverup, but my host was too entranced by the name to focus on anything else. “You know, Gummy, if you keep staring at it, your eyes’ll fall outta yer head.” My host-Gummy, I presumed-put the paper down, looking up at her new guest. A unicorn, blue with a white mane approached and sat down, trying her best not to giggle. We were in a coffee shop, a real one, which served real coffee and had an outdoor patio and everything. Behind my guest, I could see ponies of various color and kind milled about on their own daily business, enjoying the pure, unadulterated sunshine radiating from a cloudless blue sky. Smiles were upon the faces of every pony I could see. Fillies and colts played a game in the streets as their parents shopped at the vendor stalls. This was a market day in Whinnyapolis, and it was the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I wanted to look at it longer, get a better view of prewar Equestrian life, but this wasn’t me, catapulted through the smoke and fire of deadly and total war back to a happier time; I was merely reliving a memory, and thus was at the mercy of the pony that had lived it, all those years ago. “Hey Blue Step.” I heard (and felt! Somepony had a crush…) my host say with an embarrassed chuckle, “Can you believe it? All these years, and finally my name’s in print!” Her friend, Blue Step, smiled. “I saw that! Ah, I’m so happy for you! ‘Gum Shoe, investigative reporter’!” My host laughed out loud at this. “Who knows, maybe I’ll even be as famous as you one day!” Their laughter lasted until the end of the memory. oooOOOooo I came to in darkness, and on one of the mattresses. While it had been dusk when I went into the orb, night had fallen fully by now. Both Sunny and Oya were sleeping soundly-one of them must have moved me while I was in the orb. Removing the recollector, I thought about what I had seen. Sunny days, smiles, laughter…even in the midst of a war and possible quarantine for…something, these ponies had still held on to what made them ponies: friendship, happiness, the knowledge that no matter what happened in the world around them, they would be able to get through it together, and that everything would be sunshine and rainbows. Only it hadn’t. Everything had ended in smoke and fire, death and destruction. Where before ponies had gathered in coffee shops to celebrate career success, and newfound fame; where colts and fillies could scamper about without a care in the world; where the sun shone warm and bright…now none of that was possible. Not with the same inherent joy or innocence that Gum Shoe and Blue Step had shown. Everything today was done out of desperation. There was no hope, there was only staving off the inevitable starvation or violent death or slow decline into insanity. Ponies dressed in scavenged armor killed each other for scraps, or sometimes even for some twisted fun, or were slaughtered by weird copies of what we once called princesses. This world was now a callous prison for those within it…and now I was in it too. It was with a heavy sigh I lied down and closed my eyes. Sleep wouldn’t come easy, not with these new thoughts swirling in my brain. This was no longer merely a field expedition; reality had hit me, and hit me hard. I was nearly asleep when I felt a hoof nudging me awake. My first reaction was to strike out, before the more rational part of my mind told that they wouldn’t be nudging me awake if they were trying to kill me, whoever this was. I opened my eyes to a stranger-no, not a stranger, the pony who sat at the cinderblock-and-plywood table which served as a front desk for Harbor’s hotel. “Close Call?” he asked in hushed tones. My answer was cautious. “Yes…?” “You have a visitor.” Level up! Perk Added: Toughness-You’ve been shot, blown up, and had ceilings dropped on you, but all that trauma has made you more resistant to damage! +10% Damage Resistance