As we approached the Solar Throne and Celestia espied us, her lower jaw dropped open, her eyes becoming misted with tears. At my side, dressed in traditional riding tack - a bitless bridle, a saddle and under padding, and a breast collar to ensure said saddle wouldn't move - was Twilight Sparkle. "What..." Celestia whispered, "what have you done?"
"When I first came to Equestria," I spoke with chilling indifference, "you ponies thought I wasn't intelligent. Despite my efforts to show you otherwise, you all thought I was some kind of animal. Some kind of pet. Twilight here even thought to try to put a collar on me; something of your design, I might add. I left Equestria, then, taking Twilight with me. I have... taught her the error of her ways."
And with that, I proceeded to demonstrate exactly what I had done to achieve this. "Twilight, sit," I stated. As I spoke, Twilight Sparkle nickered softly and then moved to sit upon her haunches.
"Stand," I stated. Twilight moved to stand proudly on all-fours, head erect and ears turned forwards.
"Turn left," I stated. The little lavender alicorn did so.
"Now, turn right," I stated. She did. As the demonstration went on, Celestia winced... and then her expression wilted into sadness.
"Stand tall," I stated. Twilight moved once again to stand proudly on all-fours, head erect and ears turned forwards; then, as Celestia looked on the little mare lifted herself up to stand bipedal on her hind legs... and stayed there for one minute. Two. Three. Four. Five.
"That's enough," I commanded - even though I knew she could stay that way for hours. Twilight dropped silently back onto all four hooves. "Plank" I stated. Twilight moved to lie on the floor of the throne room, her fore legs pressed against her barrel and her hind legs pressed together, outstretched; a living plank. As Celestia watched half in awe and half in horror, I gently picked the little alicorn up and raised her high above my head, as if weightlifting; then I let her fall into my outstretched arms before proceeding to move and turn her about my body, treating her as little more than the 'living plank' that she was!
During this, the little mare remained absolutely still. She moved not an inch, drawing on some of the meditation skills I'd taught her, stilling her body and mind. For all I knew she could have been meditating then and there; easy was it for her to close her mind to the outside world in order to focus upon the complex math-magical formulas she adored so much.
Eventually I commanded her to cease this; then I 'threw' her into the air whereupon the little alicorn flew a single lap about the throne room before proceeding to 'perch' on my outstretched arm like a giant bird! Soon, that 'perch' turned into a cuddle, Twilight relishing my touch, nuzzling me and nickering softly as I held her close. "You," the Solar Mare hissed, "you've turned her into..."
"... into my pet, yes," I stated coldly, gently setting Twilight upon the ground. "She's a wonderful companion. So very gentle. So very... faithful." At that last word - delivered in mocking tone - Celestia bristled with anger, her whole body trembling; she desired nothing more than to tear me to pieces, but she couldn't, not with Twilight there. "You... you monster!" she hissed.
"No more a monster than you, Sunbitch" I snapped, bluntly. "Where I am from, nowadays we don't put collars on humans; we also don't allow animals to run the zoo. You tried to collar me like a slave. It's not very nice when it happens to one of you, is it?" That said, I returned my attention to Twilight. "Twilight," I asked, "what is the Riddle of Steel?"
Immediately, Twilight answered, "Steel is not strong, but neither is flesh. Steel can bend and break, and flesh withers and grows weak. But the will, the will can last forever."
"Twilight Sparkle," I asked her, "what is best?"
Now, Twilight smiled -- but her smile wasn't a nice smile; it was unnerving, that of a predator with too many teeth. Upon seeing it, the Guards of Celestia's Throne shied away, their ears laying flat, and even the Solar Diarch could not suppress a shudder. 'What kind of nightmare has he twisted her into...?' she thought, but then her thoughts were shattered as the little alicorn answered, "To crush the Princesses, see them driven before you, Master, and to hear the lamentation of their... little ponies."
I grinned. "Twilight, would you like to show them the dance you've learned?" I asked. At that, Twilight nodded and then spread her legs in an aggressive stance, mantling her wings as she raised one of her forelegs high. "Ringa pakia!" she cried.
A single beat of silence.
"Uma tiraha!"
Another.
"Turi whatia!"
A third.
"Hope whai ake!"
Celestia and hers were in for it now.
"Waewae takahia kia kino!"
The second the last syllable left her lips, Twilight stomped her hooves on the ground and slapped her wings against her barrel; the sound so loud that one would have thought an explosion had gone off as she began chanting.
"Ka mate, ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!
Ka mate! ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!
Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru
Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā
Ā, upane! ka upane!
Ā, upane, ka upane, whiti te ra! Hī!"
The Throne Guards were flat on the floor, utterly terrified, whilst Celestia herself was weeping, her body shaking with silent pain. Twilight Sparkle stared at them all... and then slowly shook her head before returning to my side. "Good girl, Twiley..." I murmured warmly, and petted her mane. "Good girl." With that I knelt and hugged her; then a moment later I broke the embrace and she sat on her haunches and leaned into me as I stroked her chest and side. After a while, I stood and Twilight moved beside me again, on alert. "I think we're done here," I stated. "Come on, Twi; let's go home..."
* * *
Later that evening, aboard the Dragon Weyr, Twilight carefully removed her 'tack' and set it aside, on a special set of hanging hooks. Then, with that done, she and I sat upon the sofa in the Weyrhome and faced each other. I stared at the little alicorn with a solemn, serious expression and she returned the grave stare, her expression mirroring mine. We remained there staring seriously at each other for all of five seconds... and then... Twilight fell into my embrace as we burst into joyous laughter!
When we were finally able to regain control of ourselves... mostly... Twilight nestled close to me, resting her head in my lap as I stroked her mane and scratched her behind the ears. "By Luna's starry skies," the little alicorn giggled, "did you - he-he-he - see the looks on their faces?!" Caressing her - letting my hands roam where they would over her head and down her neck - I nodded, grinning.
"Hell yeah," I crowed. "Heh-heh-heh... poor Celestia looked like she was gonna blow her top!"
"... and her guards," Twilight nicker-laughed, "oh, gods, her guards! Flat on the floor - he-he-he - shaking on their armor, as if... - ha-ha-ha... - the apocalypse was about to happen--all because of one little Maori Haka! Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"
"... and don't forget those modified movie quotes. By Adun, what a riot!" Clutching at each other, we laughed heartily until our sides hurt. Once we were able to finally calm down, I gazed solemnly at Twilight for a moment, before I softly said, "I'm sorry, Twilight... for... having to put you through that and have you wear that tack..."
At my apology, Twilight shrugged before replying, "Hey, don't worry about it." For a moment, she stared off into the distance at something only she could see. Then, "Truth be told," she uttered softly, "I never realized how stressful my life was until I met you; how... how neurotic and obsessive-compulsive I was; how living near the Everfree and having to deal with problem after problem as a result of that damn forest was only adding to my own problems. What we did back there in her throne room didn't feel any different then play-acting; like the pet therapy we've been doing; where I can let go and be your pet for a while and you look after and take care of me."
The little alicorn sat up to face me, then, and I noticed her eyes were misted with tears. "I... I spend so much time taking care of other ponies' problems, some of which is Celestia's mess. It's... nice... to have someone who wants nothing of me; who'll take care of me once in a while, you know?" I nodded. "Oh, don't get me wrong; sometimes I did tell my friends about my troubles and I often wrote to Celestia - but they have their own lives and problems and can only do so much. It's nice to have an outsider's perspective on things; you make me think about things in ways I never did before and right away you discerned my problems and that Ponyville was only adding to them..."
She closed her eyes then - cuddling close to me, pressing her body gently against mine, wanting to feel my warmth - and as I wrapped an arm about her, stroking along her side, I felt her trembling. "I... to be honest..." She halted, than started again. "To be honest," she whispered softly, "I enjoy our pet therapy. I love it when... when you give me a bath at the end of a long day of play; then you set me in front of the heater and towel me down and after, when you... when you hold me so gently, combing your fingers though my mane and stroking over my coat--or when I can't help it and I roll over so you can rub my chest and belly; I just close my eyes and... and... mmmh..." A sound between a sigh and a sob escaped her then.
"You cherish me; you make me warm, content, and then I get sleepy and we cuddle in bed. During those times, I... can't help but think that it would be effortless to let go and be your pet - just be Twiley - forever. So easy... So simple..." And Twilight wept, softly, bittersweet tears; all the while I held her close, murmuring sweet gentle nothings in her ear, our sadness - mine, hers, and the Weyr's - heavy in the air and our thoughts. "As much as we'd love it to be so..." I intoned, "you know it's not possible, sweetie. Princess Twilight is needed by Equestria. Ponyville needs her. Her friends need her. Celestia needs her. Still..." - Twilight looked up at me, into my eyes - "though you can't be my pet permanently, you can still be Twiley sometimes. When it all gets a bit too much, you know you can always come here and let little Twiley out to play."
Twilight blinked, nodded, and made to speak--but then we were interrupted by an alarm. I heaved a world-weary sigh and Twilight wilted. "Ah, well, duty calls. Recall: Command Pit." Together she and I were moved via swirling Warp Vortex to said pit, the place from which Weyr could be piloted. Sitting in our seats down there together we accessed the myriad of controls. "It's one of your Observers," Twilight breathed, awed, "the one you had infiltrate into Queen Chrysalis' Hive!"
"Oh ho, boy; let's bring it up!" I said, and together we accessed the brave little drone, shunting what it was seeing and hearing to us, Twilight clapping her hooves with excitement as the Command Pit Viewscreen resolved into the image of a Council Chamber - a Chamber in session! A tap of a button and we raised the volume, just as Chrysalis chuckled darkly. "So it is agreed, then. Project Siphon will proceed as planned..." Moments later, Council ended, but we weren't worried as the cloaked Observer had recorded everything. "Alright, rock on!" I cheered. "That's the stuff we want. Despite what she thinks of me, Cel's CIA is gonna want the full recordings of this! Let me pull this guy out..."